Tick. Tock.

Home is wonderful--the weather is STUNNINGLY gorgeous, and hot!

But, I must admit, I've been a little bored. Don't get me wrong, I've loved spending time with Lauren and Brian, but those hours when I'm alone just drag. I've even resorted to cleaning! Horrors! :P

I must ALSO admit that my attitude about the next years ahead has been pretty crap. I've been finding every reason to stress out (not that there AREN'T reasons to stress)--will I survive senior year (which is going to be a BITCH, fyi, but hopefully fun)? Will I find work? If I DON'T, what will I do? After I find work, how long will it take for me to earn enough money to even THINK about graduate school? Will I even get IN to graduate school?! Ugh.

Mom reminded me that God is in control, even when the outcome sucks (i.e. Maybe taking a semester off at MICA, which seems pretty impossible at this point. :/). It's the same lesson I've been working towards all year--I AM NOT IN CONTROL. I have the power to make my decisions, but because I've given my life over to God's control, I need to learn to LET GO. Sheesh. I need to not roadblock myself. When did I become so insecure? That's never been me. Has it?

Two conservation internships have turned me down--on the upshot, it wasn't because I wasn't qualified! There just wasn't enough work for me--one told me she would call if any work comes up. Still waiting to hear from the Walters--we'll see.

In a sharp digression, has anyone here ever had a friend tell them a secret (or two) that was huge and embarrassing and a little gross? Are you still friends with that person? Would they regret telling you if you were no longer friends?

I have that secret, and the person who told me and I aren't exactly close any longer. It feels a little bit good to have the info that this person would NEVER want to get out--lucky for this person, I have NO intention of telling. It would be far too horrid for this person, especially since I inadvertently found out an extension of that secret that makes it even MORE gross and embarrassing. Ooooops. :/

:)

That PROBABLY shouldn't make me feel so pleased.

OH WELL.

-A.