Good Morning, Baltimore!

I'm back here in Baltimore, as you all know.

For those of you I didn't say bye to, I'm sorry, and I am super lame. :(

It's been pretty good up here so far--my room is mostly set up and the internet is finally connected after three days of waiting.

It's been really good to hang out with Marla and Robin and Paul again, and my friends Melissa, Annie, Elyssa and Emily H. get in today! But, I miss you guys a lot, and I hope that Em and/or Bri can make it up for a visit before they head off to their respective school/work adventures. Cookout next week!

My new roommate Betsy is super nice and super sweet. She's incredibly accommodating and seems like a really chilled out girl. And she doesn't drink or smoke, which is lurvely. :) Me, Betsy and Jen will be heading out to Ikea this afternoon for a few more odds and ends, and a bedframe for moi. And maybe a wrapped canvas of Audrey Hepburn's face. :D

Classes start Tuesday, which I'm a little nervous for, but I'm looking forward to it. :) I'll keep you all posted, naturally.

As for Chase, the time apart is starting to look like it'll be a good thing. Not that I'm tired of him already. :P It's just good to be able to concentrate on what's in front of me. I think the separation will be harder on him. He drunk-texted and drunk-dialed me last night after going out with some work friends.

Luckily, I was sleeping and didn't hear the ringing, but when I woke up this morning, there were was a text that said "I love you!", sent at 1:23 am, and one sent at 8:49 am that was basically like "Er, jk, you're great but we're not there yet!" To which I was like, "WHEW." Then I listened to the voicemail, which was sort of vague and angsty, and then called him back and was basically like "Yeah, don't do that anymore." I mean, I'm not mad at all, but it's not something I want to continue.

For those of you who don't know, we're writing actual ink-and-paper letters to each other while I'm in Maryland. His letter should be coming in the mail in the next couple of days. I'm looking forward to reading it. :) He says it's long.

My SACI application is due in two weeks, so I have some work to do! You guys keep blogging, and I'll update more soon.

Love you, miss you!

-Alyssa

Secrets.

I left a secret in a book today.

Sometimes you just can't share things out loud.

I go back to Baltimore tomorrow--it's good and bad. As tough as it is to leave everyone, it's for the best, whether it's to expand or challenge myself.

I feel so full. In a good way. :)

Because I was too distracted and forgot to post this last night.

To-Do:

-Pack, pack, pack.
*clothes/shoes (begun)
*art supplies
*books (begun)
*furniture
-Dinner with my grandparents.
-Go to the bank.
-Target avec Drea and Em.
-Watch Pride and Prejudice/Wizard People, Dear Reader. (Looks like neither will happen--ah well, there's always Christmas.)
-Say my buh-byes.

:(

*speechless*

I just...

I could really fall in love.

I could.

Really.

I'm meeting his parents tomorrow, and he said I would be meeting his two crazy dogs, too. He mentioned that he loves having dogs, and when I said I'm a cat person, he said he could never have a cat, and I was like "Disappointment!" and he was like "No, no cats. You can have a cat calendar."

Did you guys catch that?

The implied future in one house.

I'm over analyzing and getting really psyched, but I have to tell someone, and you guys are it.

So, okay, I'm done. But I'm really excited, and I think this could be the real thing.

AHHHHHHHHH!

Okay.

Love,
Alyssa

P.S. Oh, yes, and my grandparents insisted on paying for this year at MICA. So I can go to Florence.

Oh, and Liz Peduto is ENGAGED. WHOA.

Okay, new List for the next two days.

To-Do:

-Pack, pack, pack.
*clothes/shoes
*art supplies
*books
*furniture
-Dinner with my grandparents.
-Go to the bank.
-Target avec Drea and Em.
-Watch Pride and Prejudice/Wizard People, Dear Reader.
-Say my buh-byes.

:(

My dad, when I mentioned Chase's age:

Me: "Yeah, Mom is kind of freaked out that Chase is 26."

Dad: "...Why?"

Me: "She thinks he's too old for me."

Dad: "Psh, no. You're old enough now. You can handle it."

:)

That's probably the last time I'll see my Dad until Thanksgiving or so. Hm.

Can he say anything wrong? Seriously?

Okay here are some things that we've covered tonight:

Chase:

-likes my mom, and is completely respectful of her concerns about his age.
-wants to approach our relationship on Christian terms.
-respects and approves of my sexual boundaries.
-gets along very well with my brother and sister.
-wants to talk about phone calls and visiting and WORKING ON KEEPING A RELATIONSHIP GOING.
-isn't afraid of the prospect of failure, and is realistic about the challenges our respective ages and the distance presents.
-gets me tingly when he kisses me. TMI, maybe, but it's important.

I. Am. So. Psyched.

But I am totally bumming about leaving. I won't see him for at least three months, if I come home for Thanksgiving.

Well, I guess it's time to leave it in God's hands.

Ah! God, please take care of me! I know You will but this is all new and weird!

(Can you tell I'm going nuts?)

Love,

Alyssa

My 40th Post...already!

Well, Mom is SO not into the age gap between Chase and I. She's jumping to all kinds of conclusions about sex and marriage and expectations (although she says she's not jumping ANY conclusions). I have to say, there's an expectation for sex no matter how old the guy I date is. Being almost twenty, I have the same chance of being pressured for sex by anyone, not just men over twenty-five.

Don't get me wrong--just because Chase is a Christian, etc, doesn't mean I don't know that he's still a guy between the ages of 13 and 90. It's just disheartening that Mom places that little trust in my decision-making capabilities and in my faith. And I'm also not saying I won't want to, because I will. But, as most of you will account for, I'm not exactly the type to give into "the heat of the moment".

Gah. The most frustrating part is her complete skepticism. I haven't exactly told her that we plan to keep things up after I leave, but she's just been like "Well, I'm just glad you're leaving in a week. You guys need some distance from each other." As if we're suctioned to each other by the lips every chance we get. As if this has been a summer-long infatuation between a fourteen-year-old and a twenty-year-old.

Hey, Mom? What the hell are you taking about?

So, now she basically thinks we're going to break up in a week's time. (We're not.)

I'm not even saying Chase and I are getting super serious or anything like that! I'm just not going to throw this away after a week. I'm willing to try it, to keep talking. I think I'm doing the right thing here, and I really think you guys would love him.

Thoughts? I'll take criticism! :P

Love,
Alyssa

A Typical Blog Update.

For the first time since I got my Facebook, I am no longer listed as "Single".

Don't get too excited, I'm not "In A Relationship", either.

BUT, Chase and I have been hanging out and talking more and more, and I think he's pretty great. We had a long talk tonight about a lot of things--past relationships, trouble we've gotten into, any experience really (I wasn't saying much, obviously).

Anyway, he was basically like "I like you, and I want to see you." And I was like "I go back in a week." And he's like, "I know, but we can try it out." And I'm like, "Oh. Yeah, I can do that. Let's try it."

So, we are.

Weird. And kind of cool. I mean, Chase and I have indicated more about a future in three dates than Dan and I did in three years. Hm, hm, hm.

I wonder how this is going to go. :)

I'm pretty happy about this.

:)

-Alyssa

The Date was a pleasantly surprising success!

That isn't to say that I was expecting a bad date--not at all.

The beginning of the date was standard enough--met for coffee, walked to the car, talked, got to the movies. Unfortunately, Brideshead Revisted wasn't playing at 7pm like Chase thought, so we ended up seeing Tropic Thunder, which was surprisingly funny in places, actually. Sitting in the movie itself was actually a little uncomfortable, but after it was over, we stopped at a Starbucks and talked for a little over an hour about everything--it was really sun, and I learned a bunch of interesting stuff about him. (He can sing, likes opera and ballet, and was weirdly attracted to Morgan Mertz, to name a few.)

Then, he was the best sport in the world and met my mom, sister, and brother, then stayed for two hours. He and Lauren seemed to get along well, and he was great with KJ.

So, I actually intended to make him wait for a kiss until the next date, but he kind of went in for it all on his own--I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek and he was like 'MUAH', which was fine. (He had soft lips.)

He seems interested in extending whatever we have going past my return to MICA, but I guess I'll have to decide later on. He said he'd call me tomorrow, and we'll do something.

Okay, before I wind down, there are two little things that have me holding back. One, he's not really sure about his career path. He has an idea, which is fine, but I'd like to see more going on there. Two, aaaaahhhhh......he lives at home. As in, with his parents. It's not just him (thankfully?), his OLDER sister lives there, too, and I guess it's fine if he's avoiding the extra expense before getting his act together, but if he intends to pursue a serious relationship (any, not just with me), I'd like to see that he has his own place, at least...for, erm, privacy, if necessary.

Anyway, it's late, but I'll catch you guys later. :)

The Date is tonight.

Anticipation!

He sent me a message last night at 2 AM that I just got a little bit ago that basically reenforced how psyched he is to see me again, and he inferred some intentions for the future, which is like "OMG." "We've known each other a week!" and "Oh, yeah, he's 26."

It's all very fast. That isn't to say he SHOULD'NT be thinking about the future--he should be, after all, he's older than I am and is more than old enough to be thinking about future things/intentions/etc. I guess the question is, should I be thinking about these things? Or maybe I'm just exaggerating and he's just being extra-nice. Blah. I'll update after The Date.

I don't think I've ever been on a first date like this before--Guy asks Girl, I mean. It's kind of cool. :)

As for the Olympics, Em came over and watched USA's amazing relay finish and Michael Phelps' eighth gold-medal of these Games. I just can't believe how privileged I feel to be watching history unfold like that. It's amazing and a weird kind of honor for me. I'm honored to be alive and watching it happen.

Melissa called me the other day, and we're plotting how to break into the North Baltimore Swim Club in order to steal Michael Phelps away for our own evil purposes. >:D Only five minutes from MICA's campus...

Anyway.

Love you guys,

Alyssa

P.S. Why is everyone getting engaged all of a sudden?! I mean, I love it, but it's all at once!

lolcute

So, I was friended yesterday on Facebook by this guy named Chase, who indicated that he knew me from Crazy Mocha. I felt like a jerk for blanking, so I told him to swing by while I was working and introduce himself properly. So, he did, and it went a little like this:

Me: "So, how do you know my name?"
Chase: "Michael Harris told me." (They both work @ The Cafe.)
Me: "Oh! How did you know we knew each other?"
Chase: "..."
Me: *thrilled* "Were you asking about me?"
Chase: "Nooooo..."

So, I let it be, but made sure to procure Michael Harris' phone number, and text him about it:

Me: "How does he know my name?"
Michael: "I told him. He asked about you."
Me: "Oh. What did he say about me?"
Michael: "He thinks you're really attractive."

:)

And the grand finale over Facebook iChat:

Chase: "So, want to go out somewhere with me?"
Me: "Maybe if you ask me in person." :)
Chase: "I was going to, this isn't usually my style."

OH-kay.

Also, a funny little side:

Chase: "I suppose you get Anne Hathaway a lot right?"
Me: "ALL. THE. TIME."

Haha.

ANYWAY, he seems really nice, AND he's a Conservative Christian, which is like, rarer than...a rare thing. The only problem is, I'm not sure where he's headed in terms of his career/schooling, etc. Not to mention that I'm going to school in two weeks.

Oh, man. WHAT IS THIS?

Muah,
Alyssa

I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it.

I am in love with the US Olympians! Especially our swimmers and gymnasts. :)

Check/Check.

-Dance Party.
-Meteor Show
-Sleepover.
-Wizard People, Dear Reader viewing.
-Gossip Girl viewing (Has begun!)

:D

Pertaining to Jeff:

Mission accomplished.

;)

And THIS is why I watch the Olympics.

Records being broken; trash-talk being completely, well, smashed into the talkers' FACES; cheering; winning; teamwork; grace. It makes it so worthwhile to give of myself emotionally if I can see the looks on those STRANGERS' faces when they win. Is that weird? Well, I don't care--it makes me feel so connected with the human race.

(But, I also watch for the creeparound, which is shown in this photo. :D)

WELL THEN.

Em, I was going to take a leaf out of your book tonight. I'll let you figure out where that was in the events of the night.

So, Letta Parker's going-away party was tonight (she enlisted in the Air Force Reserve and will be peacing out for several months). I haven't spent time at her house for many months, and I was feeling a little awkward at the outset--I don't know her circle of friends that well, although her fiancee (!) and I get along really great.

The awkwardness was mostly alleviated when I saw Dan Thompson there, who is SO tall and awkwardly cute. :) It was nice to FINALLY spend some time with Letta, even if I had to do it in the company of some people I may not like so much. *cough*Liz*coughAttentionWhore*cough*

Actually she treated me with courtesy tonight, I shouldn't be mean.

Bottom line is, Letta's older brother Jeff and I have a history from high school that begins with UST (Google it.) and ends with him wussing out on me after one kiss.

So, he is now single after a LONG relationship with a girl even younger than I am, and we were flirting a lot tonight, and we were all brushing against each other and doing the soulful, sultry looks, and at the end of the night, I thought "Hm, I can get some long-delayed smooches out of this..." So, I decided to let him drive me home. :P BUT, OF COURSE, there was car trouble (what is it about me, boys and car trouble?), and I ended up riding home with Letta/Dan M.(Letta's boy)/a few others. On my way out, Jeff hugged me, and did the cheek-kissy thing. (And Oh. My. God. He knows JUST how to touch a girl's waist.) So, I did the neck-kissy thing and we basically murmured plans to get together at each other. (I meant to type "with each other", but the typo stays. :D) So, we're going to talk tomorrow afternoon. I'll update, don't worry.

So, yes, in lieu of Dan Wolf, I'm going to be a bad girl and have makeouts with Jeff. What do you expect with all this...anxiety hanging around. ;)

I guess I was just surprised that he was into it. He totally called me gorgeous tonight. *blush* Yes, shameless self-esteem boost. Love it.

And love you all,

Alyssa

P.S. This is SO unlike me, isn't it? Rob, you can especially vouch for that, am I right?

End-of-Summer To-Do List

-Dance Party.
-Meteor Show (This coming Monday, the 11th, to (apparently) Wednesday the 13th).
-Sleepover.
-Wizard People, Dear Reader viewing.
-Gossip Girl viewing (I will get Em hooked!).

Anything to add? Suggestions are, naturally, embraced.

E'n'P was fun tonight. Ab-Fab, get out here! How's the new place, by the way? And the roomie?

As most of you are aware, I let Lacie know that I needed a significant break from her. This has been a long time coming, and I'm glad I did it. I feel relieved, and more relaxed than I have been all summer. But I might also attribute this to Em and Drea's homecoming. :))))))

Anyhoo, keep those suggestions coming!

Muah,

Lyss

Drea's Homecoming!

-Get my driver's permit renewed.
-Actually learn how to drive.
-Take my driver's test.
-Talk to Mom about applying to SACI.
-Getting my passport.
-Call MICA about withdrawing for a leave of absence in order to go to Florence.
-Talk to MICA about Financial Aid stuff/enrollment.
-Get another Sallie Mae loan.
-Update stupid FAFSA.
-Fill out stupid financial forms for MICA.

As most of you know (there aren't to many people who read this), Drea is coming home tonight! Yay!

Hopefully we'll all be able to get together soon for the viewing of Ink.

Ab-Fab, any days off soon?

Again, not much to update, but I'll be seeing all of you soon anyway. :)

Oh, and Happy Birthday Sidney!


(Marry Me! :D)

Love,
Alyssa

Hooray for things to do!

Emily is home! And since we've already spent, like, 15 of the 36 hours she's been home and awake together, we are doing the logical thing and spending all day together again today. :)

It is SO nice to have someone [sane] to hang out with.

Drea will be home in two days, I hear Bri will be back for a couple days at the end of the month, and hopefully Ab-Fab, you can find some time to come down and hang out with us soon. We miss you!

Saw Lacie briefly on Sunday--it was awkward, and she got that dreadful Monroe piercing I advised against.

Short entry, but it's only been a couple days, so, not much to report.

Muah!

Love, Alyssa

Pier Angeli

So, I was told by an old lady customer today that I look like Pier Angeli--an Italian actress who was James Dean's girlfriend, so I read.

Seeing pictures, she's more waif-like than I am--I'm not sure how much I ACTUALLY resemble her, but she is beautiful, so it's a compliment--and a change from Anne Hathaway. :P

Here she is:

August First--a brief summary

Yup, it's August already. One month 'til school, three and a half months 'til my birthday, five months 'til Christmas.

I figure I've gotten off to a good start--cute outfit, talking grownup-to-grownup with Mom, and eating some Kix, which I had the pleasant surprise of discovering in the cabinet this morning. :)

I have SO MUCH to do before going back, primarily learning to drive and getting my passport. Yes, I'm getting my passport. Mimi and Pappy really want to help me go to Florence, and I figure, being almost twenty, it's about time I had one.

Less than a week 'til you guys are home! :DDDDD

Love,
Alyssa