A Frustrating Day.

This morning, John and I were supposed to drive back to my hometown of Sewickley so I could see my little brother KJ in a musical for the first time. He had a supporting lead in The Sound of Music--one of my personal favorite shows--and I was SO EXCITED to go and support him.

Unfortunately, last night it decided to snow--not much in Baltimore or Pittsburgh, but the snow decided to plop itself right in our path--6 to 10 inches, apparently, although I have no idea what the weather was ACTUALLY like on the Turnpike, as we never left. Both of my parents warned me about the danger of driving on the Turnpike in snow (the travel speed was reduced to 45mph there), and if we were only going to be there for one day it wasn't worth it. Of course, Mom left the decision entirely up to me (Dad basically told me not to come), which (of course) means that I knew I had to stay home. I was furious. I cried for a few hours, had John call Mom to tell her--because I didn't want to talk--and had John tell Mom to tell Dad, and tell him not to call me.

Maybe I was overreacting (John insisted I wasn't), but I was SO disappointed. I've never seen KJ perform, especially a role like Max Detweiler, and I had my heart set on it. I hated having to surrender to something as stupid and changeable as the weather--especially when I couldn't see it myself. I'm still now sure if it was worth it to stay--if we'd have been in any REAL danger to drive down. Either way, it's done now. :/

John was instrumental in getting me through the day--apart from putting up with my tears, he was all too willing to stick around and make me lunch (after we fell asleep for three hours--crying always tires me out) and snuggle me up if I needed it. And, of course, offer me delicious Chinese food for dinner. Seriously, he knows how to show me love. :P

I also cut myself some bangs today--John initially brought it up--citing photos of me from Fall 2008. He thinks I'd look great in bangs again, and Robin quickly seconded this when I brought up cutting my bangs to Katie on Wednesday night when we all went out for burgers (and to watch Canada cream Russia--woo!). So, I decided 'What the hell?', and cut my bangs in the bathroom this afternoon. They need to grow in a little bit, but I'm happy--I just need to pay a bit more attention to my eye makeup now. :P

The senior party--entitiled 'Gala Obscura'--is tomorrow night. It's a cocktail party, and I have to decide what on Earth to WEAR. I don't want to go too formal, but I would hate to be overdressed. What to do?!

Hope you're all doing well. Stay warm!

Love,

-A.

Bethany Beach!

Most of you know I spent Friday-Monday at Bethany Beach in Delaware with John's family (after my minor-to-moderate eff-up of missing the Thursday night bus)--I had a marvelous time.

I met his whole maternal side--the Orsinis (Mrs. J's brother Rick, his wife Karen and their four young'uns: Ricky, twins Cassie and Brianna, and baby Nicky), the Cunninghams (Mrs. J's younger sister Nancy, her husband Ken, and 16-year-old twins Tom and Matt), and the Schmermunds (Mrs. J's older sister Janet, her husband Bob, son Richie and his fiancée Mandee (both 20) and daughter Kat (24) and her cute boyfriend Doug. [Bobby (22) is their brother, but he didn't come.]). BAM. All from memory.

Anyway, my first evening was easy, because we had crabs that night for dinner, and it's hard to be self-conscious while eating crabs. :P

Mandee and Richie arrived that night, and since the two of them are so close in age to John and I, we ended up bonding over the next few days--the next day at the beach was PERFECT weather. Sunny but not too hot, and the water was SO WARM. IT was wonderful, except that John is a killjoy who refuses to swim. Jerk. But we DID have a nice beach walk and talked some stuff out, which reinforced to me that I am not crazy, and when I mean something I'm usually saying it truthfully and accurately. I admit, I was a little vindicated after that conversation--it made me realize that it was more misunderstanding and none of the inadvertent leading-on-of-John it was made out to be.

I only suffered a tiny bit of sunburn on my back (even though I was wearing an SPF 50 sunscreen made for babies! Or "Baby 50" as we dubbed it during the trip). That'll teach me to try and sunscreen my back by myself. Ooops.

That night was the PIRATE MURDER-MYSTERY PARTY. It was so much fun and everyone got into it (save the Orsinis, who left that afternoon)--I was Alice Tremain, "shrewd and intelligent" first mate to 'Saucy' Nancy Martin (John's Aunt Nancy). It was a total blast, and I had a sexy costume and made some pretty amazing costumes for OTHERS on the fly. Even though I wasn't the MOST successful in the game (although there is no clear 'winner'), I had a lot of fun and it made me a lot more comfortable to talk to people I didn't really know (after all, you HAVE to be friends after plotting someone's death/fighting a duel/bargaining for a governor's pardon, right?).

The next day John and I stayed in--I read while he napped, and we went into town in the evening and bought him some sunglasses (I picked them out and he looks fabulous) and books, and a touristy t-shirt for me. :P

We had a big spaghetti dinner that evening, and after the grownups went to bed, Kat, Richie, Mandee, John, Anthony (John's younger brother), and I had a board game fest. We split into two teams (I was with Mandee and Richie) and we played Pictionary, Taboo, and Smart Mouth--it was a lot of laughs and a lot of fun ('TooT", "Dance Dance ___?" "In your Pants-Pants!"). :D

We made it to the beach the next morning and saw a pod of dolphins swimming close to shore. :) John and I shared my towel and read our books while Richie and Mandee played backgammon and Anthony watched. It was just really pleasant and relaxed. Mandee and I bonded about the recent engagement and upcoming wedding (Wooooo!) and over Gossip Girl, but disagree on hockey (boo, Caps!). And Richie attends the Naval Academy and is fun and funny and they're adorable and I'm going to stop gushing now before the cuteness starts coming out of my ears.

Although, I DID get the third degree from John's mom a bit. If you've been following mine and John's tumultuous history (:P), you know that I opened up the lines of communication with him mom when I went to NJ to see Harry Potter. I did this so I could erase the stigma of the flaky impression I'd given her based on my tentativeness towards John. But I was pretty stunned when she basically cornered me Monday morning: "How are you and John? I know you're staying just friends..."

It started out innocently enough; I apologized for the confusion--I hate looking flaky and lame. She was surprisingly abrupt. "I guess I was just wondering--why did you even come here? Did you just come to tell him you didn't want to be with him?"

"Uh, no, of course not. Honestly, I came because I selfishly wanted to meet and be accepted by your family. You're all wonderful."

"Why have you been bringing up Christine so much?" (As you may remember, Christine is John's ex who is pretty obsessed with the idea of getting back together, and is none-too-thrilled about the fact that I was invited to Bethany this year after only three months of a friendship, while she was only invited after four years of a relationship. Ooops.)

"Because it's funny." (Seriously! She kept calling!)

And out of NOWHERE, it gets personal: "What about you and Robin? You guys dated but you're still close." I'm not sure what she meant by this--maybe she thinks I'm still holding on to Robin how Christine is holding on to John? Which is NOT the case in the LEAST. Let's make that clear.

"He's my best friend. Yeah, we dated, but that was 1/5 of our time together. We're BEST FRIENDS."

"It just seems to me like you're waiting on someone else. Waiting to text or call someone else."

Now, I told John about Hector--writer of Ink and my current interest--during our beach walk, but he didn't mention that part to his mom. She's good.

"You're good. Yes, there is someone, but I'm not trying to make John hold out for me until it works out/doesn't work out with this other boy." Obviously.

"I'm not trying to be the interfering mom here, but he is my son. But if you guys are cool, I'm cool."

I did understand that, and I was too put-on-the-spot to really process, but later, talking to Jen, I realized that it was an overstep on her part. John and I are both adults. And we are, indeed, 'cool'. So, if a conversation like that happens again (which I doubt it will), I maaay have to be a little more firm.

But overall, the trip was excellent, and it was a great chance for me to meet and get to know new people and get closer to John and his family. :)

For those of you that never saw me in Ink, here's a link to the whole short film--it's about 20 minutes. Enjoy! :D

I'll update when something fun happens--only two weeks left until classes start! Both awesome and nerve-wracking.

Love,

-A.

P.S. I WANT:

What is my life? Part ten trillion.

A lot to update.

So, because John was in France and he reads this, I didn't want him to find out that I had "chosen" (in the lightest possible way) Mark just by reading this--I had more respect for him than that and wanted to tell him in person, so I haven't mentioned Mark or John here at all in the last ten days.

Basically, I dated Mark for almost two weeks, and it went well. He watched the Pens games with me, and was there when we won. He gave me the most amazing surprise on Tuesday night when he brought me to a Jack's Mannequin concert--needless to say, I was completely shocked and excited and it was a fantastic show and Brian is jealous that I saw it before him without even trying. :D

But, after the concert, when I kissed Mark 'thank you', it felt all wrong. Like, 'I-am-NOT-supposed-to-be-kissing-you' kind of wrong. I tried to shrug it off and not let it ruin the evening, because I had a spectacular time, truly. It was such a thoughtful gesture.

So, John returned on Wednesday, and after my first day of work, I went by his house to welcome him back and he had brought me a bouquet of yellow flowers ("to brighten the place up now that Betsy left") and a red rose (Beauty and the Beast and all that jazz). It was so sweet, and it made what I had to say even more difficult. But, I broke the news and he took it well enough--he seemed to understand at least. I made sure he knew he did everything right, and that I wasn't really going to choose either of them--I realized that neither of them are right for me (as I feared when this all started). What I didn't expect however, was the scale of his feelings--he took me by surprise when he told me he's "never felt this way about anyone". And yes, that includes his ex-girlfriend of nearly 6 years. WOW. It was far more emotional than I expected.

But we parted on okay terms, and agreed that I would still meet his friends from home, who came in last night from New Jersey.

But, there was still the case of Mark to wrap up. I asked Mark to pick me up from work yesterday, and I told him that we shouldn't see each other romantically anymore, and he's been wonderful and it has nothing to do with anything he could control. He was "shocked", but took the blow stoically enough--at first. He asked me if it was because he moved too fast (yes and no--he was just in a 5-year long relationship and we're at different stages; it's something neither of us could control), and I assured him that there was no one else. We said goodbye and although he got emotional as well, we had a parting joke, so I'm not too worried that--after a while--we might be friends.

I spent the evening calling people and filling them in--I've left a lot out here for the sake of my own sanity, so call if you need more details--and around 10 PM, I called John and asked when I should go over (his friends were set to arrive at 1 AM). No answer. Okay, fine--I waited until 10:40, and called again. Nothing. Then 11. Nothing.

Then he called me back, and had clearly been pretty upset all day--he was sniffling on the phone. He informed me that he'd just gotten off the phone with his ex--he'd called so he could apologize, because 'now he knows how she feels'. (Twist the freaking knife, please. I alreday feel like shit for hurting you.)

He also told me that all of his female friends don't understand how I could turn down such a great guy, blah blah, etc, and he told me he ended up defending me. I told him he didn't have to defend me, and that I know exactly where his friends are coming from, but he insisted that I did nothing wrong. (Which I didn't.) Basically, that led to him telling me that Cara, the girl he's staying with right now and one of his best friends, doesn't want me in her house because I hurt John. It's not really her concern, but I understood, so I let that be, and offered my own apartment if he still wanted his friends to meet me. What it came down to, is that I agreed to wait up and he would text if he wanted to bring them over.

I accidentally fell asleep a little after midnight, and awoke at 3:30 AM, mad at myself for falling asleep in my clothes, annoyed at my stinging eyes (I'd left my contacts in), and feeling dirty and uncomfortable. I also had a text from John, explaining (as I'd expected) that the "consensus" was, he shouldn't see "the infatuee" (AKA, me) so soon, and I may not meet his friends at all this weekend. I do completely understand this, but it's all so freaking DRAMATIC!  I'm 2-for-2 in making boys cry this week, and that doubles my quotient from over the last five years!

What I don't understand is--and I am not trying to devalue or disqualify either boy's feelings--how did those feelings develop so quickly?! After all, Mark and I dated for just under two weeks, and he wanted to take me home to his parents, and John and I dated not at all (although I appreciate the bonding time we spent together)! How am I supposed to deal with all of these strong feelings--good and bad? How can I be responsible for something I can't control?

I suppose the answer is that I can't be.

And because this is my blog and I have to write down one small, selfish thing: I hurt two people, and I'm still alone. That really, really sucks.

Okay, that's enough.

I'll talk to you all soon, I hope--work is seriously cutting into my internet time. :P

Love,

-A.

I gots a job!

I'm now employed at the Inner Harbor Hard Rock Cafe. Come see me! :)

In other news, well, there isn't much more to report, actually. I'm almost fully moved in to my new room! I am also jealous for missing the Penguins Parade that occurred in Pittsburgh yesterday! SO JEALOUS.

Also, I got some lovely compliments from two male friends whose opinion I hold in very high regard.  One said I was 'transformative', and both have said, in some way, that they are attracted to me (sexually AND otherwise), but if I were to have sex with them, half of their respect for me would be gone. :P I know that seems like a weird compliment for me to enjoy, but I adore it!

:D I'm weird.

Anyway, I'm off to patch some jeans and make hot chocolate--it's oddly chillsy here today!

Love you all--

-A.

I've got sunshine...

Betsy moved out today--off to bigger and better things! (Psh, what's better than rooming with me? :P)

Before I go any further, GO PENS!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Anyone who was not there watching with me was seriously missing out on the hilarity. :D) YEAH PENGUINS!!!!!! PITTSBURGH RULES!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem.

So--this morning was spent helping Betsy and her Dad load up the cars. Mostly work, although I got a little break to talk to Melissa, who I saw for a whole forty minutes during her 3 day visit. :/ I don't really like that, but she apologized for not calling, so it's fine. We still have so much to catch up on.

After we finished packing everything up, Betsy's dad took us to lunch at Paper Moon and we talked about high school and Greasers-versus-Socs and tattoos and pregnant teens and living together before getting married. You know, all that wholesome family stuff. :P

I saw Bets and her Dad off in the early afternoon, and began to think seriously about an offer Betsy made me while we were emptying her room: she suggested that I move in. After all, I've been missing the sun like mad in my dark little room (for those of you who don't know, the windows of my room face inward to a shaft running down the middle of my building), and it would be nice to have a bedroom I actually WANT to spend time in. BUT, the person I really had to clear it with was Kirsi, the girl who is replacing Betsy for July and August. So, I called her, and she was completely gracious and permissive ("I'll only be there for two months anyway!"), so I started moving things in right away.

Already I'm feeling lighter and happier! Seriously, having a well-lit room is a huge thing for me. It's kind of funny, actually--I observed to Betsy last night that it would be her last night in that room. Oddly enough, it was my last night in my own room as well! Unfortunately I only moved a few things in before I had to go to work (where I'm now updating from), but the evening should be full of happy moving. :) Hopefully Jen doesn't mind, although I can't imagine why she would.

Jen should be returning in the middle of this week, so I'll be taking the next few days to spruce the apartment up a bit--cleaning the kitchen properly and finally getting rid of the piles of useless crap in the dining room (which is mostly Jen's--she gets touchy about people moving it, so I'll have to be delicate) to make the place look more complete. And decorating my new room, of course. :) Betsy left some photo prints behind, so maybe I'll put some of them up--leave a bit of her in the room, in a way. :) She was pleased that I'll be the one taking care of her room while she's gone.

(A huge group of old people just came in for a tour. Adorable, but also confusing. :/ :P)

Tomorrow morning is my third interview with the Hard Rock Cafe (I found out today the employees got to dress like rock stars at work today! Awesome!), and if I get the job, I start work right away and train for the day! Dad is less-than-keen on the fact that I'll have to make my way back from the Harbor late at night, but I think I can handle it. Wish me luck!

I also got to reconnect with an old friend today--I've never mentioned him here because he left MICA back in February of '08, before I started posting. The guy, Ty, was MIA for a year before I decided yesterday on a whim to text the number I had under his name, to see if it was still him. It was! He called me today and we caught up, and he's apparently making plans to visit in the fall! Ty was one of the guys I hung out with for the majority of sophomore year (including one DISASTROUS date). He was unhappy at MICA, but he sounds like he's enjoying himself a whole lot more. :)

It feels like things are going into a weird, new place--no Betsy, new job, new roommate, my first mostly-friendless summer in Baltimore. But I have faith I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. :D

More soon! Love,

-A.

Marriage.

Don't worry! Nothing has changed since I waxed lyrical about all of the weddings/engagements that have popped up in my line of vision in the last six months or so. No marriage plans here. :P

But, I did read an interesting Facebook note drafted by my childhood friend (and crush) Jack, the son of the pastor who worked at St. Stephen's when Mom, Lauren, KJ, and I left the Catholic church after Mom and Dad's divorce. He was writing, not specifically about marriage itself, but about his own impatience to move from 'transitional relationships' (dating) to marriage, which is something Betsy and I have been talking about at length recently--something I don't think I've ever mentioned here.

Betsy and I are in no rush to just BE MARRIED. We just know that we're both mature enough (out of our separate and very different relationship experiences) and both desire to take the next step to be wives and mothers. We both know we'd be good at it. We both know we're made for it. Betsy was closer than I EVER have been to making that happen, so she's not exactly keen on being back at Square One (and we all know how I've felt about that in my much tinier setbacks), and I know that God is preparing the right man for me right NOW (Scary! :P), and in my past relationship endeavors (I said PAST), I've always been the more mature, conscious half. I'm sick of screwing around with 'dating' in so many ways.

I'm not an idiot. I know I have to date in order to get a boyfriend in order to get a fiancee in order to get married (this is a simplified pattern, of course). I'm just impatient (shocking, I know :P). I just want that proper fit.

In other news, Melissa is visiting for the weekend! :D She was supposed to call and come over this afternoon between apartment tours, but that obviously isn't happening at this point, as her next one is at 4 (AKA now) and I'll soon be getting ready to see the Pens whoop the Red Wings (I hope! We can do it!).

Hope you're all wearing your black and gold! :)

Love,

-A.

Not a bad cure for restlessness...

Today was an unproductive day for the most part, but I got to talk to a lot of awesome people. :)

I had my second interview at the Hard Rock Cafe today, and was invited back for a third on Monday morning. Wish me luck!

I arrived a little early for the interview, which was at 11, and then ended up waiting an extra hour in Barnes & Noble, starting a book called Thirteen Reasons Why that I intend to buy as a reward if I get the HRC job. Never mind that I went right back to B&N and finished it after my interview was over. :P It's excellent, I completely recommend it. I especially recommend that you call me first and let me read it to you. :D

On my ride home on the light rail, David called me just to catch up, and aside from being incredibly supportive ("Whoever sent tht Honesty Box message is obviously in love with you. They are so jealous of your confidence."), is always so interested in what is going on in my life. It's really nice. :)

I chatted with him when I got home, and got to talk to my Mom for the first time in forever! She's been busy working and doing her thing, so I haven't been able to talk with her as much as I'd like. Ever since going to Italy, since our communication was so patchy, I got used to telling her only the abbreviated versions of the news in my life. It was just nice to get it all out with her and hear her input. It's not that I need her input, but it puts me at ease to hear from her. :)

However, she did bring up Dad, and the shit he's been pulling with KJ, which makes me sick to my stomach. He takes KJ for an hour on Stanley Cup playoff days, and drops him off at Mom's before watching the games elsewhere with HIS friends. He talked about this No Doubt concert all week with KJ, only to be taking his wife, her daughter, and her friend. Not KJ. >:( It makes me so angry I can hardly speak.

But I don't want to concentrate on that. KJ is over it--he's angry, but he knows Dad is a dick. It just makes me sad because since Mom will be traveling all summer for work, Dad is supposed to be the point-man. UGH. I just remembered what else Dad said. KJ told Dad that he was supposed to be in charge while Mom is gone, and Dad said this (brace yourself): "So, I guess your Mom will be giving me back my child support, then?"

>:O SERIOUSLY. GOD DAMMIT.

Once again, I can't think about this for too long without wanting to vomit.

Thankfully, I got a distraction towards the end of our conversation--the doorbell rang. My eBay dress arrived four days earlier than I expected! I got off the phone with Mom--making sure she knows just how grateful I am for her--and tried on my dress with my new stapless long-line bra. The dress was even more lovely than I imagined, and it fit me perfectly! So, so gorgeous. :D Maybe I can have Betsy take some photos of me in it before she moves out on Saturday and post them here. :)

Betsy and Ben [not Bennett] arrived back at my apartment after some errands. After admiring my dress :P, we talked a bit and caught up and then Ben left and our friend Claire came over and I'm now listening to Betsy and Claire talk about this past semester, catching up and reflecting for a last visit.

It's really sad to think about Betsy leaving--I know that we'll see each other and keep in touch, for sure, but we've gotten so close and get each other so completely. I know that I don't have that with Jen, and I usually have at least one roommate I connect with on that kind of level. We'll see who our next third is this coming semester. :/

I'm doing well. I'm taking things one day at a time, and I'm reminding myself to keep it up every day--I get ahead of myself so often. And exchange I had with Mom today said it best:

Me: I don't know, I've probably been making it more dramatic and difficult than I should.
Mom: Well, that's just you.

It was good-natured, which is unusual for criticism from my Mom. :) It was almost a compliment, in a way. :P

So, the most important thing in my life for the next day is GAME 7 WOOOOO!!!!! And after that, my interview! Good thoughts for both, please! :D

Love,

-A.

Last year in Game 5, I was certain:

"That Fleury is a God among men.

That Malone is a warrior.

That Sykora is a psychic.

That Gonchar is a beast.

That Hossa is a magnet.

That Talbot is a catalyst.

That Malkin is Fort Knox.

That Therrien is a cuddlebear. :P

That the Pens are kicking ass and taking names."

This year, the Penguins are without Hossa (abandoned us for the Red Wings >:( ), Malone (traded D:), and Therrien (replaced as coach), and unfortunately, most of those other players listed didn't really do much tonight.

BUT, The first and last lines still apply (FLOWER POWER), and we can now add these:

That Scuderi is a brick wall.

That TK is a winner of hearts.

That Staal saves the day.

That Bylsma knew something we didn't. (Sid played so little tonight, it was like he was saving him for Game 7!)

Now it's Pens in 7. Let's make it Pens WIN 7!

Love you all,

-A.

P.S. Why I Love Bess:

Me: Why are all of the Red Wings gingers?
Bess: CUZ THEY SUCK.

(after Fleury's puck rescue off-the-post)
Me: DID YOU SEE FLEURY'S ADORABLE SHEEPISH SMILE?
Bess: FLOWER FLOWER FLOWER! I am taping the game and will be rewinding to watch that fifty times...ala Gossip Girl style. (We rewind and rewatch the romantic parts of GG. :D)

(after TK's amazing goal--to preface, we have a joke about TK, who dated a high school friend of mine and she dumped him. We joke that if he does well in a game, she'll get back together with him. Our chant whenever he gets the puck is "DO IT FOR BRITTNEY!" To the point:)
Me: BRITTNEY WILL BE WAITING IN THE LOCKER ROOM, READY TO RECONCILE.
Bess: *puts it up as her status*
Brittney: Do you think you could tell Bess Ruzich to take down her status? I don't need any more rumors starting.
Me: WHOOPS.

:D

The Exception to the Rule.

Before I dive in to the point of my title, Ben came to visit yesterday and stayed the night. I owe a lot to Ben for his (baldly honest) insight into my personality. It's always a pleasure to hang out with him and especially to confide in him, because when we move past the snark and the disagreements and psychoanalysis and I just need a hug, he's always there for me 100%, on my terms. (Mostly. :P) It means a lot. Thank you, Ben. :)

(Also, did I not say Gossip Girl is amazing? Told you! :P)

I got a message from Marla today, requesting that I remove from Facebook the photos Betsy took of me in the corset Marla made. Apparently, asking me to remove them has everything to do with her wanting to preserve the artistic integrity of her "creative content" (the corset--as opposed to the images, which are rightfully Betsy's), and nothing to do with the fact that she probably sent me those nasty Honesty Box messages. (After all, I had those photos up for two weeks and she didn't say a word until my second response to the HB messages.) I'm not certain, but then again, I don't know anyone else who uses the word "rather" on a daily basis. I removed the photos, obviously. No need to start a fight. But, I did add in my return message that I hate how things have ended up between us.

Betsy and I had a girl's day, starting with shopping and culminating in eating candy and watching "He's Just Not That Into You", which I enjoyed far, far more than I expected. Now, I don't want to spoil a thing, BUT, there's a particular emphasis on the Rules of dating and the Exceptions. Like, the guy will call if he wants to be with you is a Rule. Or, he finally calls after a month and you end up happily ever after? Exception.

As I've said before, I've absolutely had my moments with boys where I over-analyze and mistake his intentions or feelings. Some not so serious, some heart-breaking. We all do it. We've all been on the other side as well. I've been more present to it in the last two weeks than I have in a while.

To be fair, it is a romantic comedy, and there were happy endings. BUT, people end up single. I was impressed at the honesty, despite the character exaggerations. The happy endings were wonderful and totally made me cry. They weren't altogether shocking, but just enough of a romantic twist to make me literally cry out with something like joy at the TV. :) It's one of my favorite things about romantic comedies, and also one of my least favorite.

We all want to be the Exception to the Rule, on some level. But, I think, what I want more than the thrill and drama of being The One to Change Him, is to be...happy. I would love that grand romantic gesture after all the struggle, but I'd prefer to work through the struggle from the start. It's like a song you might know: "I'd rather be working for a paycheck then waiting to win the lottery." I want romance and wonder and that thrill in my gut when He Finally Gets It. But why would I wait for a man that doesn't want me from the start? It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

All of that aside, after watching a movie like that, I'm just ready to be in love. :P Because I am a girl who loves seeing joy.

Love you all!

-A.

P.S. Let's Go Pens! We've got a big game ahead of us!

Venom, continued.

"my point exactly, sweetheart. you are so blinded by some deep seated need to make up for some (unknown to me) insecurities that you are unable to let my previous criticisms slide. you felt the need to write back to me, proving further your obsession with preserving your self image. i feel like it was not meant to put me in my place, rather, to reaffirm to yourself that you are in fact the person you see yourself as.

if you didn't want people to say these things to you, for reasons of flattery, or simply to incite a little drama, you wouldn't have an honesty box in the first place. i'm not going to offer anymore criticism, but i can assure you that your response affirmed my assumptions about you."

WOW, really?

This is as haughty a response as any this person expected out of me, and yet I'M the one with the over-confidence/insecurity issues.

I responded:

"Well, I have to say you're mistaken--my response was intended, partly to 'put you in your place', as you say, and partly borne of true curiosity. Your venom is so obvious, I sincerely wondered where you got the impression of me that you did, because I have an arsenal of people with the exact opposite impression of me.

I'm the first person to admit that I like to be approved of (who wants people to dislike them?), but I'm also the first person to admit where I'm flawed and insecure--for instance, I know I get nervous about my thesis and keeping up with work and the prospect of failing. But I have a strong sense of self, and I'd say that threatens people who have the sort of insecurities you claim I have.

And truly, you expected and relished my response, I'm sure. As for the reasons why I have an honesty box, who doesn't want to be secretly flattered? What's your excuse for having one? So you can spew your ire on unsuspecting 'friends' under the safe cover of your computer, even hiding your gender?

Also, you're not helping your own argument, considering you said yourself that you only 'assumed' these things about me. It's short-sighted that you wouldn't even get to know me first before writing me off."

UGH. Anyway.

I watched the Pens game with Mark this evening (HOLY EFF 5-0 shut out--Pens, you're killing me. D: But I have faith) and then he took me out for ice cream to cheer me up. :) And he was charming and sweet and funny and invited me up to meet his cousin and some friends soon and was patient when some drama arose with Brian that I had to help with. And we kissed. (Finally.)

It was easy to sit in traffic with him coming back from dessert and just hold his hand and listen to music (we have similar tastes) and smile. It would be easy to like him.

It's easy to be with both of them. :/

ANYWAY, Ben is coming to visit tomorrow evening! It'll be nice to catch up.

Love you all--good night!

-A.

P.S.
Robin: of course my primary concern in this matter is your happiness

Alyssa: :D thanks, sweet

Robin: but of course, my secondary concern in this matter is MY happiness, and who would be more fun for ME to hang out with while hanging out with you and your boyfriend

Ah, isn't this amazing?

Picture this.

Betsy, John and I are sitting in the living room finishing dinner--John and I made rotelli and I cobbled together some sauce. Betsy then went to get a few things at the supermarket, leaving John and I alone on the couch. Something to know about John is he personalizes ringtones for his close friends, and told me that he chose one for me--we decide to make it a surprise, although I can guess what he chose.

So, as we've done for the past week or so, we talk about the crazy situation we find ourselves in! John is, as usual, selfless and supportive and it's amazing. He jokes that the ringtone he chose was pertinent, and at that point (you all know me), I had to know what he chose. And, the exchange:

John: I chose the part in "Belle" (from Beauty and the Beast, doy) when she's sitting on the fountain. (In case you guys forget the lyrics to that, here you go: "Ah, isn't this amazing? It's my favorite part because, you see--here's where she meets Prince Charming, but she won't discover that it's him 'til Chapter Three!")

Me: I love that part! :D

John: Well...I can wait 'til Chapter Three.

...


...


(Let that sink in.)

Me: 8( ) <---*jaw-dropping, eye-bulging* That was the PERFECT THING TO SAY. *stutters for about five minutes* I-I-um. Wow. I-jeez! Did you think of that earlier?

John: *looking surprised at himself* No, just now.

Me: 8( ) WOW. Okay...okay.

So, as you can see, this is awesome. Storybooks are written about boys like John who say those things that don't even seem like they could be real. And, I must say, he knows exactly how to put his arms around a girl. When he hugged me goodbye last night, his hands just found the right place on my back that made me feel really feminine and safe. :) Betsy observed that I have a glow around John.

But, as the complicated story goes, I have a date with Mark tonight. He called this morning and invited me to dinner before we watch the Pens game together. He invited Betsy as well, because he didn't want her to feel left out, and he was just so considerate on the phone. I'm looking forward to spending more time with Mark--I think tonight will be a good chance to be more casual with him. After all, we had the first date, then everything came out about John and me, then we watched Game 4 with Betsy, and a lot of discomfort has been overcome, but we haven't been in private since then. This week will be informative.

In other news, I spoke to Robin today and got a decent update about him (I really do miss just hanging out and joking around with him), and spoke to Joey V. yesterday and got a HUGE update about our old high school friends, and as usual, he was funny and supportive about my deal. I swear, we have so much fun together! :D And we're about to embark on a fun project together we've always meant to start, so I'm excited!

Things here are going well. :) The rest of my day will be spent cleaning up in the kitchen before tonight--I hope you all have a fantastic day! :)

Love,

-A.

P.S. Thanks to all of your who commented about the Honesty Box message I received--your support means everything! Love you.

'Ask and you shall receive' does NOT eff around.

It's satisfying to have an understanding with someone. But also complicated.

After the success of my first date with Mark, I really wanted to make the next one count--I worked in the afternoon, then cleaned the apartment (although it needed to be cleaned anyway--guests are just a good motivator) and bopped around to some music while Betsy was out at her first visit to Mercersburg Academy, where she'll be photographing this summer.

John came over around 6 to be filled in on my date over some hot chocolate (it's been miserably grey and chilly and rainy here)--he was completely and genuinely excited about my date and the fact that I had a good time. I told him the bit about Mark confessing to corset-photo guilt, and John mentioned that his mom had seen that photo of me! Slightly embarassing, as that isn't exactly a mommy-friendly photo (I am covered! There is a corset!). Well, let me just write down the exchange after that.

Me: Ooh, she saw that? Not the kind of photo that makes me popular with Moms. With BOYS, however...

John: Well, I liked you long before that.

Me: Oh, totally--wait, what? (thinking) Did he just say what I think he just said?

So, the cat is out of the clear plastic bag. :P (You were all thinking it!) John likes me, and I like him--we're completely comfortable with each other and can be completely honest about the situation. Let me break it down, because I know you're all thinking "What about MARK?!"

Okay. John has endeared himself to me in spades by completely supporting the situation that makes me happy (like a good date with Mark, or several) and by taking all the pressure off of me--he is completely satisfied with being friends first; according to him, "this [the relationship, in any form, between us] can't be bad" (melt!). He just likes the closeness we have already, and isn't pushing anything to change.

So, John was there when Mark arrived around 8. Weird, I know! But I presented John as my friend, and it wasn't as if he were sticking around for the game, so they shook hands and it was fine.

It was a good game for Mark to attend, naturally--we won!!!!!! Which means we tied the series which means we came up from a 2-0 deficit to make it a whole new series! This also means I didn't waste time jumping around and shrieking like a total moron for all the world (and a cute boy) to see. :P But I don't care--it was a fantastic game and I'm so excited! Let's Go Pens!

At this point, I'm still really interested in investigating how things will go with Mark--after all, John and I have been able to spend a lot more time together so far and it's easier to be open since we approached it from a friends perspective rather than the more delicate dating perspective I have with Mark. I want to give Mark a real chance, because I like him too! (Still no kiss, by the way.)

Actually, the timing is sort of perfect--John is about to head home and then to France for a week, which gives me ample time to see where things go with Mark.

Until then, I'm just entrusting it to God and praying about it. We'll see!

I'll leave you with a wise, wise quote from my Em:

Emily: prayer is good. salad cream is NOT good.

I love you all--wish me luck!

-A.

Up-Date.

I'm sure the suspense has been building. :P (Does anyone even read this still?)

My date was very, very good.

He picked me up 5:15 sharp, as he said he would, and complimented my outfit as any girl would expect (and I did look pretty cute :P) and we drove out to Fells Point (bonus points to him, as Weezer was playing in the car when I got in). The conversation never lagged, and he was just as active in asking me about my family and likes and dislikes and complimenting me about my ability to tell a story well. We got to the restaurant and were talking so easily and so much that we had to send the waitress back twice before we had our orders ready!

The dinner conversation was...unorthodox. He brought up his ex (holy shit, 5 year relationship--apparently she dumped him in August) asked me about mine, and we traded stories. This is usually a sort of taboo, but, being me (AKA ravenous for information) and finding his honesty charming, I was okay with it. He also pointed out, to my delight, that his first kiss was when he was a senior in high school (he went to an all-boys school, so, not much opportunity) and he described himself as a 'slow-mover'. And, what else would a date be without an in-depth discussion of our religious viewpoints! :P

Mark is Catholic, born and bred, and it shows. But, unlike a lot of Catholics, he understands that it's not just attending every Sabbath and Holy Day or doing CCD or washing your hands this many times before you eat, it's about your faith. He started to make some complaint, and I got a little nervous, but he only meant to observe that his experience in the Catholic Church was lacking as far as NOT GOING DEEPLY ENOUGH. He wants to investigate MORE. It was so cool. He really seemed to get what I was saying, and could joke with me as well as answer honestly. We had a few good discussions (NOT debates at all), and he was quick to validate my viewpoints that maybe he hadn't considered before.

So, after dinner. we walked around Fells Point as it started to drizzle, and we talked a bit about how out-of-the-blue his invitation was. I kind of busted him on noticing my booby-corset-profile photo that is currently on Facebook, and I guessed that was one of the reasons he chose me. He conceded to that fact cutely and was a great sport ("It caught my eye...you are very attractive."). And he earned major points by saying that even though the photo was what drew him in, he noticed that I was a Christian (GOD ANSWER--typo and it stays :P), and that made the decision for him. He then offered a ride on the water taxi, but the rain looked like it was going to really come down, so he asked if I wanted to see a movie instead! I agreed, and we drove back to my place to check the times.

I showed him Betsy's website, and he was impressed (as well as complimentary, which made Betsy fall in love without even meeting him), and we headed out to catch the 9:20 showing of Angels and Demons. We showed up WAYYYY early and caught the end of Night at the Museum 2 (eh, looked okay) and then killed some more time at Barnes and Noble until our movie started. The movie was actually a lot of fun, in that hit-you-over-the-head-with-mystery kind of way. Ewan MacGregor is a foxy priest (bad, Alyssa, bad!), and there were some gasp-worthy moments. :)

However, down side, the theater was FREEZING. I had worn a dress to dinner, and thankfully had the presence of mind to change into jeans at my apartment, but my thin cardigan wasn't doing the job. I was shivering, and he noticed, so he ASKED if he could put his arm around me. :D Of course, I let him. (He also asked all night if it was okay that he was paying for me--apparently his ex hated when he did. WHAT.)

As we left the movie theater, he rested his arm around my shoulder to guide me though the door, and I sort of grazed his waist to show that I noticed. :P I went to put my arm through his, and he straightened his arm, obviously expecting me to hold his hand, and there was about .8 seconds or "Wait, what?", but I did it his way and slipped my hand into his. It had started to rain, making my chill all the worse! But I was having too nice of a time to let it get to me. We got back to my place around midnight (7 hour date!) and he walked me to my door...

And hugged me.

He cited our 'slow-mover' dispositions (more his than mine, I'll admit, but its good for me) and we made plans to watch tonight Penguins' game together. :) I admit, a kiss wouldn't have gone amiss, BUT, waiting for the right moment is even better--besides, I think I've been a little bit of a kissing-slut (as my mom would call it) lately, and slowing things down may be just what I need.

So, he'll be over tonight to watch the game, and probably make fun of me for my, um, enthusiasm, let's say. :P It should be good. :) I spent part of this morning tidying up the bathroom and kitchen for when he arrives, although I still have a ton to do. :/ But it's worth it!

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself, and it's working, for the most part (first time ever. :P). Wish me luck!

(And GOOOOO PENS!)

Love!

-A.

So many GOOD THINGS.

Yesterday was a fantastic day.

I had an eight-hour shift yesterday (8 AM-4 PM) that was made far more bearable by the presence of John, who came in at about 10:20 AM and stayed with me until my shift ended (although he was originally supposed to go visit a friend in Columbia who unfortunately [for her] took ill), and ended up hanging out with me until about midnight, even suffering through my screaming-jumping-freaking out antics during the Pens game. :P We WOOOOOOON!!!! :D

It's so funny--we've only hung out for about four days together, but we click SO WELL it's insane! It was a huge get-to-know-you-fest yesterday, ranging from our families to our favorite Disney princes (the Beast, doy, and you'll be getting a dissertation on that at some point).

(BTW, there are some adorable British accents happening in front of the Gateway desk right now. :D)

ANYWAY, it was a wonderful time, and we got dinner, and he looked through my book and apparently liked it a lot (yay!). I have to say, he's been so unbelievably complimentary of me. I mean, the things he's saying are simple, and they sound like I might've heard them before, but his sincerity blows me away. Example: I've said before that we have this inside joke about how he describes me as 'Belle' to his friends. Yesterday he also commented that in the movie 'Life is Beautiful', the main character greets his love interest every day by saying "Bon giorno, principessa'--he said that reminded him of me, since we met properly in Italy, and I'm a Disney Princess. :P And THEN, when I tell him how flattered I am that he has all of these sweet associations for me, he doesn't even take credit! "It's all you!" :D

So, enough gushing out of me.

...

:D


I have a date tonight, with Mark. I'm not building up any kind of expectations. I hope I have a good time, but I'm not going to force anything.

I guess a potentially awkward date with a stranger is a bit lackluster in comparison with the kind of day I had yesterday. :/ I mean, I'm totally excited about the cool things happening in my life! I guess I just don't want to let myself decide anything one way or another yet. It's ironic--when nothing is happening, I overanalyze everything, but when there's a lot going on, I'm doing my best (at least now) to SLOW the EFF down.

Whew.

In funnier news for me, Lacie is even more balls-out insane than I originally thought, and has shed every ideal she ever held in favor of some wacky, 'liberated' existance. There's so much more, but it isn't worth typing out. I'm investigating it personally, anyway. :P

Sigh. Okay, I'm done. I was shocked at first, but now I'm just laughing! How much can a person eff their own life? She's made it an art.

But let's not concentrate on that. I won that pretty eBay dress! :D It should be here within ten days! And I got a bustier to wear with it, as it is strapless, and I don't think a regular old strapless bra is going to cut it. But, yay for pretty dresses!

I'm having a good time. Scary, but good. :)

Love you all!

-A.

Well, Look Who Has A Date!

Mark called me in the last two minutes of the Pens game (3-1 loss D:) and invited me out for dinner Wednesday night! I accepted, naturelement.

Wish me luck! I'll keep you posted.

-A.

P.S. This series of tags sort of cracks me up. Oh, to be dating Sidney Crosby. :P

New York, New York: Where cute Jewish babies threaten to kill each other in the sandbox. Part Two. (With a dash of "Why I Love Brian")

When we left Our Heroes, they had ventured into Long Island. :)

After the bad news about my aunt, we stopped at Haagen-Dazs to get Ben, Betsy, and Jess a Banana Split Dazzler (*shhhing!*) and went to the park to eat it and saw five adorable Israeli kids in their underwear and smirking at us, then went to this restaurant called Pancho's for Mexican. Yes, dessert first. :P

Lunch was good, but the waiter was a jerky face and they added the tip automatically so we couldn't stiff them for their bad behavior. LAME. But we drew cute cartoons on the table paper, so we win.

After lunch, we worked off the calories at a local playground--we played on the swings (Ben took one particularly nasty spill and scraped his arm after Betsy and I both warned him on separate occasions about jumping from swings) and had an impromptu photo shoot on the grass. We overheard the toddlers responsible for my entry title--some gems from their mouths include:

"I'm gonna cut your head off!"

"My mother and my brother are gonna kick you in the ASS!"

"I'm going to get a bat and hit you in the FACE!"

Yup. Charming.

We drove around a bit more and went back to Ben's house to chill for a while before I met his dad more properly. Whew. He was intense! SERIOUS EYE CONTACT. But in a good way, although he wasted no time in telling me that if I don't learn Flash I'll never make money. :) He warmed to me more once he found out my interest in conservation, however.

The drive back to Baltimore was more pleasant that the drive from--we were all more awake and good-tempered. :) Not to mention the wide array of funny things that went down. More bridge-phobia for Jess (that trooper! :D), a great deal more Betsy-and-Alyssa-Sing-Along ensued, and during a rousing rendition of "Poker Face" by Lady GaGa, my personal favorite moment occurred:

Bets and Lyss: "P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face!"
Jess: "What is she saying? Poke her face?"
Bets and Lyss: "No, no. POKER FACE. Like the game. Have you heard that term? Poker face?"
Ben: "She's saying 'butterface'. You know, like a Butterface."
Jess: "Butterface? Poke? Poke-her-face?!"
Bets and Lyss: "NO! POKER. POKER FACE. Like the card game!"
Ben: "B-b-b-butterface, b-b-butterface!"
Jess: "I don't understand! Why are you all saying different things?!"
Bets and Lyss: *Laughing too hard to correct Jess*

Hahahahaha. I can't even keep from laughing now!

Also, Betsy was foiled in her search for a Spock collector's cup--she is now in love with Spock since seeing Star Trek with me, Robin, the two Bens, Colin, and Jen a few weeks back.

It was a fantastic weekend all around. :) Thanks, you guys, for making it so awesome! :D

SIDE NOTE!: Eric, the Gossip Girl fan who came over last week, did come over and hang out. He also admitted that he wanted to ask me out on a date, but thanks to his return to Austin, no go. But, we made plans to hang out on Friday. He said he would call me and--Surprise!--did not. Well, that is, he called at 9:30pm, while I was on my way to New York City. And he only called to tell me why he couldn't hang out that day! Leave my hanging all day, then that! Lame. But oh well.

I also saw Marla on Monday. I got called in to work at the Meyerhoff desk that morning from 8 AM to noon, and posted a status update about it on Facebook. At about 11:30, Marla walks in. I look up and freeze, but she just says "Hi", her mouth in the hint of a smile, and walks to the computers. I felt my eyebrows fly up "Hiiiiiiiiiii..."

About twenty minutes later, she goes to walk out, without saying one word to me.

"Marla, wait."

She turned, and I saw that her eyes were red and moist.

"I'm sorry."

She almost smiled, but mirthlessly. "Thank you." Then she turned on her heel and walked right out.

Like any stalker, I checked her internet history. She only visited two frivolous animal blogs, no e-mail. It clicked. She has a computer at home. She saw my status update. She came to see if I would apologize.

Joey had a different theory: "She prob wanted to see if you gained weight in Italy and then got pissed when she realized you lost a babillion pounds!" (Unlikely, but funny. Except for the part where I had a babillion pounds to lose. :P )

So, relatively painless, and I guess that's that for now. We'll see if we see each other again any time soon.

I hope you're all well. Love you!

-A.

P.S. Why I Love Brian, Part 4? 5? Lost count.

Me: *Persuade, persuade, persuade*
Brian: Haha. You're like the little devil on my shoulder, except you have good intentions.
Me: So I'm the angel? Maybe a bit of both.
Brian: I can deal with that. Angel of gossip. :P
Me: Angel of human interest!

P.P.S. GO PENS! Lord Stanley, here we come! :D

Crossing the T's and Dotting the I's.

I am not very good at it. :/ I always forget these important things!

I'm having a teensy panic because I'm supposed to be meeting Rebecca, my thesis advisor, before 5ish PM, and I left the book I made this past semester in my apartment, but, because the girl I sublet to, Lee, hasn't given me her key yet, and because Jen and Betsy are out, I am now locked out with no way to get my book! :(

But, Jen or Lee should be back before 4 pm--at least, I think. I'll let you know how it goes.

ANYWAY, Betsy cut and lightened my hair last night--it's about five inches shorter and light gold/brown. Not too drastic of a change, but good. :) I look more grown up, but simultaneously more tough, in a way. Or maybe I'm just projecting. :P

Jen, Betsy, and I had a photo shoot in our basement last night--it is super-creepy and horror-set worthy, and on top of that, the photos came out beautifully. Once Betsy posts them on her website, I'll direct you over.

In exciting news for Lauren, her dating slump is over (although considering she's never really dated, I suppose it never technically began), and she has FOUR guys looking for her attention this summer. Two of them are about 23 (kind of old for her 18-year-old self, and one may have a girlfriend already), and one is a pothead (a definite no for her, thankfully), and the other was in her graduating class, but doesn't have the best reputation for sobriety. We'll see how it pans out. I'm just pleased that she starting to get the attention she deserves.

No romantic opportunities for me, of course--it's a little soon to say, after all--but I should be concentrating on school and work anyway. :) Seeing the commencement party yesterday for MICA '09 gave me a little scare, coupled with this thrill of excitement. But mostly scared. :P

Hope you're all having a good day. Wish me luck with getting into my apartment!

-A.

P.S. For those of you who watch Gossip Girl. Holy ish. Last night?! AMAZING.

P.P.S. For those of you who watch the Pittsburgh Penguins. Holy ish! On our way to the Cup! One down, three to go! :D

So many things go on in my life--

Thankfully, they are mostly awesome things.

I am back in Baltimore, which has been great--the drive down with Lauren was largely unproblematic, Robin and I are more than fine, Betsy and Jen are both great (still bickering), and Lee, the girl who I sublet to, is pretty absent from the apartment usually. BUT, in an awesome turn of events, I came at the perfect time--she is paying two rents, and with the advent of my return, she is going to move out of my room earlier than expected! Pretty good timing.

Ben came to see me yesterday, which was also lovely. He brought me roses--two red, two yellow--and opened the car door for me and all of that gentlemanly awesomeness. We had a good day--low-key but fun--and in the evening, we got to talking. Debating, in one, about our opposing religious viewpoints. And then, discussing the possibility of a relationship.

At first, I was sort of relieved--it seemed like we were on the same page: we liked the other, enjoyed the other's company, but in the end, we aren't really what the other is looking for, mostly based on sex, politics, and religion. Sure, fine. But all of a sudden, there was this wacky deal where I figure out that he likes me a WHOLE lot more than I though he did, and that it's really hard (read: impossible) for him to just be friends with girls he likes from the outset.

This upset me more than the revelation that we aren't actually right for each other romantically. I wasn't hurt, but sort of sad. For some reason, I got this fire in me--it became essential to cultivate a lasting friendship with Ben. It is essential. Hm.

Anyway, we had that talk, and I told him I was still going to make an effort to remain friends, and he said he'd try. But, sure enough, when all of us (Jen, Betsy, Robin, Colin, Ben2, My Ben, and I) went to see Star Trek (pretty fun, I gotta say), he got all affectionate and hand-holdy again. Since the midst of a blockbuster is not the best place to talk it out, so I waited until I was walking him out to the car as he was leaving last night. When I asked what the deal was, he did what I wanted Robin to do back in February--he said 'I'm going to ignore the differences/odds against us for now."

I was surprised, and pleased, but not because I have any urgent feelings about being with Ben. In fact, as I'd said before, I was sort of relieved that we'd agreed to just try friendship. It was just nice to feel like I'm important to someone--especially someone who doesn't know me that well. But I don't want to hang this relationship on my own feelings of self-worth--that would be stupid and, doy, selfish. He deserves better than that.

He told me it was my call. Because of the above paragraph, I didn't say no. Not right away. I told him yes for now, but I still had to think about it. But, as I do, I knew as soon as I turned and watched him drive out that I should've drawn the line. He invited me to stay at his place on Friday--that probably won't happen, but again, I do want to stay in touch.

Whew. Also, darn. It was like a taste of an attentive boyfriend who is making an effort to honor me, and I've wanted that for a while.

I still haven't seen Marla--hopefully today.

School stuff is sneaking up on me a little, which is stressful, but I can take it. Now to get a job! Wheee!

Wish me luck--

-A.

P.S. Go Pens! Game 7! Bottle the Caps! :D

I Kept My Promise to Myself!

I didn't make out with Dan.

Yesterday was so, so awesome. And not just because of the party Dan took me to--I spent the morning with my mom, just chatting with our hairdresser while Mom got highlights put in and we had a leisurely lunch with Robert. The sun was out all day, and I got to take a long walk with Brian (who complained about the heat the whole time, like a weenie :P).

Dad's even went well! Lauren, KJ, and I were all there, as well as Sam (Dad's wife's daughter), and we had a good dinner and dessert and worked together to answer silly Jeopardy questions. It was a lot of fun!

We left Dad's at 7:30, earlier than expected, but I still took the whole hour before Dan arrived to change most od my outfit, take forever to do my hair and makeup (Headband or carefully hidden bobby pin? Flats or heels? Red lipstick?). I just finished my lipstick when Dan arrived at 8:30, and we headed out to his friend Shannon's birthday party, which was in Oakland.

We stopped at his place on the way over, and he made me a drink--a Floradora cooler, I think? Two shots of gin in it, but I was fine. Then we made it to the party at abot 9:45, and I was told to try the sweet tea vodka. Holy shit. That stuff goes straight to your head, and, okay, get ready for it...

I was drunk for the first time.

I KNOW, I know. Try to contain your shock. BUT, once the sweet tea vodka got to be too much, I had some water and didn't get too far over my head.

But, the mild drunkness was less important than the boy I met--Ben. He got to the party about 40 minutes after Dan and I, and is slender and good-looking and immediately came over to the couch I was on, and sat between me and this other girl Desiree. We got to talking about his t-shirt and we ended up spending the whole night together. (He told me later that he was interested in Desiree at first!) We were just talking at first, then hanging out outside--he shared his cigarettes with me, then he got me a beer and we were absorbed into conversation about religion (because I ALWAYS end up in there conversations so randomly! Sheesh!). After another cigarette break, he had his arm around me, and was holding my hand.

Holy crap, the tension in the room by then--people knew I'd come with Dan, obviously. I was one of the few people that NO ONE knew. And they were now noticing that I was openly affectionate with someone else. To defend myself, because I know this seems lame--Dan never specified that I was his date, and honestly, he was probably counting on me as a sure makeout session and not much more. I mean, he likes me, but he has no intention of doing anything real.

Besides, this was something new and exciting. :)

So, Ben (Bennett, and not Benjamin, which is very, inexplicably sexy to me) was holding my hand and offering me his jacket by the end of the night while 3/4 of the party (minus a few guests, the birthday girl among them, who were passed out) walked to a pizza place at 3 AM. As we left the birthday girl's apartment, one guest, a particularly drunk girl, pronounced: "You are really, pretty, you know that? Like, REALLY PRETTY. You are SO pretty!"

Dan, Desiree, Ben, and I ended up driving back to Dan's place after pizza, and after a few awkward minutes in his sitting room, I announce that I have to go home, as it is 4 AM. and my mom would have a conniption if she were to wake up to my empty bed.

SO, Ben offers to drive me home, and we awkwardly exit together while Desiree moons at a disinterested Dan. Ben was a trooper, and made it from Oakland to Sewickley with no trouble, considering he isn't from the area. We got to my house around 4:40, and he left at 6:30.

Yep.

Ah, kissing, how I've missed you.

Anyway, he lives in Virginia (and drove 4 hours for the party, I know!) and is eager to visit me next week when I get back to Baltimore, yay!

I told Robin, but you know what, it wasn't weird! And guess what! I found a Craigslist Missed Connection addressed to HIM! Weird, weird, weird! But cool. :)

So...I guess we'll see how this progresses, hm?

DREA IS HOME! WOOOOOOO!!!!

The Pens tied the series! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you all!

-A.

Can this day get any BETTER?!

M4W Anne Hathaway Look Alike - m4w - 20 (MICA)
Date: 2009-04-25, 10:05AM EDT

Where have you been? I've seen you around campus, last semester. You're the wallpaper for the library web page. I've missed seeing you in the stairwells, cafe doris, coffee house. You have a beautiful voice. I always see the blue ribbon in your hair before I see your lovely face. God willing you'll see this and contact me.
_______________

Naturally I replied. The overly romantic and unrealistic part of me is hoping it'll be a hottie who can sweep me off my feet, but the bulk of me knows it's some sweetly geeky and slightly stalkery sophomore. Flattering anyway. :) I'll keep you updated.

And go Pens!