Political Interlude

I promise I'll post some real photos and graduation updates, but right now it's 3 AM and I'm writing to a 16-year-old who penned a guest article for Lemondrop (yeah, those jerks who commissioned me sort-of then didn't follow up). Check it out. (Referring to the title she chose, Palin's comment could never be construed as slander on any level. Please.)

My response in the comments:

@@@

Elizabeth, I sympathize with your position--while I am a supporter of the bill, I suffered plenty of discrimination at the hands of my peers due to my own political beliefs, so I want to talk to you as an equal--you're obviously articulate and I don't want to talk down to you, but I may say some things you don't like.

I was a conservative at a tiny liberal art conservatory in Baltimore, MD of all places--almost unheard of, and it showed in the speakers and events they chose to have, in the open criticism of my opinions. (I actually just graduated less than a week ago!)

Your school's administration reserves the right to do whatever they wish regarding their activities and trips. It's too bad that they chose to involve politics in girl's basketball where I don't really think it is relevant, but I entirely agree that the school has the right to make that decision and deserves no criticism for exercising that right as they saw fit.

However, I suggest you read the bill if you haven't--it's only fifteen or so pages long. http://www.azleg.gov/legtext/49leg/2r/bills/sb1070s.pdf

The most important thing to note is that the bill clearly indicates that no person would be asked for "papers" (which actually means a driver's license or something similar, not some trumped-up recall to the Third Reich, speaking of skewed information to serve a political agenda, Elizabeth) without reasonable/probable cause. This refers something as simple as being pulled over--law enforcement is not being asked to seize latinos in the streets.

I know there is a lot of uproar about the possibility of racial profiling. Let me set up a scenario. Having lived in Baltimore, I got plenty of emails from Campus Safety regarding attacks and muggings in the neighborhood. I am not exaggerating--literally every single one of those emails described a black man between 18 and 30 in a black hoodie. If you didn't know, Baltimore is populated mostly by black residents, and how many of those must fit that description! Does that mean the police went out and collared every person that fit that description? Hardly.

It is just a matter of fact that illegal immigration is a very serious problem for the residents of Arizona, and it's a matter of fact that the closest neighboring country is Mexico, which borders AZ. Therefore, it's a logical conclusion to draw that the bulk of illegal immigrants will be Mexican or perhaps Central American latinos.

What I'm trying to say is that this isn't strictly about race, this is about looking for the proper suspect. If I got mugged by the black twenty-something in Baltimore, they wouldn't go looking for a white man or Asian man or latino man, would they?

It's another misconception that this law was passed regarding the economy alone. It's easy to find information that plenty of illegal immigrants pay taxes despite a lack of citizenship (it is actually their healthcare payments where they fall the most delinquent). Apart from the fact that they have entered this country ILLEGALLY, disregarding FEDERAL (and now state) law, there have been an appalling amount of drug-related and sexual crime perpetrated by illegal immigrants, often linked to gang activity. http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=51424

This article, written in 2006, reports that there are approximately 240,000 sex offenders who are illegal immigrants. And that was in 2006! Four years ago!

This is a safety issue. This is a health issue. Sexual assault is one of the most horrifying ways to violate a person, US resident or no. This is more serious than any party line. Just consider the ramifications of the law being broken, rather than the one that was just passed.

(Good luck on your other games!)

@@@

(Abby, I will respond to your e-mail! I've just been so preoccupied with finishing up MICA and getting settled at home!)

Hope you're all well!

-A.

>:(

It's insulting when people don't think I take my responsibilities seriously.

Thankfully, I met up with Melissa on my way back from my class (I had a good crit with Dan Krall--I got an A!), and she reminded me that God will always provide, and if I make my stresses into prayers, I'll be fine. This year has made me realize over and over that God always has me in his sight.

I'm trying to work towards my grad show, my graduation, my summer, one step at a time. It's been challenging in some respects, but I know that I'm taken care of, so it's also been somewhat reassuring. I know I'll get a job (or two), I know I'll make money (and art!) this summer, I know that I'll be fine, even if it will take some extra effort, and I don't like being told that I'm being irresponsible, or that I don't understand what I'm doing.

But I'm not thinking about that now.

Now, I have to think about my show--John and I are going to Target on Thursday, I'm returning that blue dress (I found a better one at Village Thrift, surprisingly!), and then going to Ikea to buy five frames (cheaply, let's hope!). Whew. Then I start installation on Friday! Eep!

Also, last grave shift tonight! I get to work on a paper, which is easy-peasy. Thank goodness for that!

Things will be FINE. I'm sure of it.

Something I must comment on.

There has been a lot of controversy about the recently passed law regarding illegal aliens in Arizona. The Facebook Group "1 MILLION Strong AGAINST the Arizona Immigration Law SB1070" offered a concise, clear definition of the law and it's tenets. Have a look:

Current law in Arizona and most states doesn't require police to ask about the immigration status of those they encounter, and many police departments prohibit officers from inquiring out of fear immigrants won't cooperate in other investigations.

The new law makes it a crime under state law to be in the country illegally. Immigrants unable to produce documents showing they are allowed to be in the U.S. could be arrested, jailed for up to six months and fined $2,500. Other provisions allow lawsuits against government agencies that hinder enforcement of immigration laws, and make it illegal to hire undocumented workers for day labor or knowingly transport them.

That being read: what is the bad part in this law? Is it the ejecting ILLEGAL aliens part? Is it that it establishes a way to keep tabs confidently on who is/is not a documented worker/citizen is the United States? (Another thing to note is that the first sentence of the second paragraph says that the new law means it's illegal, according to the state, to be in the country illegally. Like, you know, the FEDERAL LAW that says the same thing.)

Obviously there has been fear that this law will encourage racial profiling. Mexico is the only foreign country that Arizona borders. It is a near certainty that any illegal immigrants to be found in Arizona are Mexican/Hispanic. It's like telling a police officer a redhead robbed you and then they bring in only black-haired people to the lineup. Who should they be looking for?

Perhaps it could be an inconvenience for those of Hispanic descent who are legally allowed to live and work in the States, sure, but if you're legal, you have nothing to worry about. This shouldn't be an insult.

There's also been some complaints about having to carry papers, saying it recalls the Nazi persecution of the Jews in the same way. Leaving this sensationalist claim itself alone, the US are not trying to persecute illegals because of their race. We're not trying to hunt down and execute illegals. We're simply doing what we should have done a decade ago and restored this to federal concern.

John had a great parallel for the use of citizenship papers--are we not all required to carry driver's licenses? A police officer has the right to stop any driver for any reason and ask for one's license and registration to assure that the party is driving legally.

I believe that every person who wants to become a US citizen should have the right to do so. It's a matter of completing the due process. Learn about the Constitution, what the US represents (or once represented, some might say), and learn English. Any other country would ask the same of anyone desirous of citizenship. I honestly wish more US citizens understood what their country is about.

I can't abide anyone (from ANY country) coming into America illegally in order to take advantage of tax-free income. I can't abide people hiring illegals knowingly for cheap labor. Have a family to support back home? I sympathize. Now get legal or get out. Why should we be lenient on those who are breaking our laws? That is a very serious question!

Feel free to leave any thoughts/comments/arguments!

-A.

...

These past 36 hours have been beyond awful. My anxiety has been eating me up over money and schoolwork and the time I have to do it in. I'm feeling a bit better after talking to John and Allan (my seminar teacher), but I'm still dealing with some bad crap. I honestly had an emotional breakdown yesterday--or as close to one as I've ever had before.

I accidentally missed a 6-9AM shift this morning, and I'm nervous about what that will mean for my job (although it's unlikely I'll be fired with only three weeks left in the semester), and due to my financial situation I CANNOT not have a job. I called my boss right away, of course, and I probably sounded hysterical (although I didn't cry, shockingly), but he was heading into a meeting and told me he would just send me an e-mail so we could follow up. Hopefully he is the kind of man who is afraid of tears and won't have the heart to fire me if I break down in his office. :P All kidding aside, however, it is serious, and I wish I could stop feeling like such a mess.

Allan, thankfully, excused me from Seminar today, and I got to have a relaxing shower. After John and I grab lunch, I'm spending the day on thesis, which has been sadly neglected due to my panic over getting stuff for my Portfolio presentation done. Allen also pushed that back to the 22nd for me. Whew.

I'm not bursting into hysterical tears at every thought of this misfortune now, thank God. Allan (who is also a Christian), gave me the always-great advice of surrender to God. I admit, I have been trying. I'm just not sure what surrender is supposed to feel like, I guess. I know God has taken amazing care of me, at least as far as my own eating habits are concerned, but I really just want this anxiety taken away so I can focus on what I have to do rather than on being a wreck for two hours.

I hope you're all having a better week than me. Wish me luck!

Love,

-A.

The Mean Reds.

What a frustrating day.

John and I went to the dentist's office and waited for an hour and a half before they could even SEE me, then were informed that my insurance barely covered half of the procedure, and had to be paid (all $568 of it) up front. >:( None of this was told to me until they were about to prep me for surgery. I had been there for TWO HOURS. Very frustrating and flustering. I made a new appointment, and my parents and I are going to sort out the cost until then.

I was pretty upset--probably more than necessary, but it all just seems to arrive at once. It already feels like a debt I owe, even if I haven't gotten the procedure yet (not that I have another choice)! It's just always got to be difficult. (And I felt terrible for wasting John's valuable time--especially during Midsummer's opening week.)

The worst part was how awful the receptionist-lady was about it. At four o'clock (we arrives at 1:45), my consult was over and we were about to operate. They typically close at 4:30, and I heard the lady being all pissy to the surgeon, who reassured her that it would take less than an hour. She came in and asked me all of the same questions the surgeon had, no doubt with the hope that I'd have eaten something so we'd have to reschedule the surgery. But I hadn't. Lucky for her undoubtedly busy schedule (/sarcasm), I am poor.

At least I get to work my grave shift tonight--no need to miss earning money. And I have Alice in Wonderland--the awesome TV version (purchased in Fells Point this weekend)! It is also John's final dress rehearsal tonight before the show tomorrow! :D I'm so excited to see it!

In other news, Obama signed the Health Care Reform bill that has been shoved through in the past few weeks. Sigh. I've gotten into plenty of online debates about it with my friends, but I just don't have the strength today. It's already been draining enough.

Hope you're all well!

-A.

A Frustrating Day.

This morning, John and I were supposed to drive back to my hometown of Sewickley so I could see my little brother KJ in a musical for the first time. He had a supporting lead in The Sound of Music--one of my personal favorite shows--and I was SO EXCITED to go and support him.

Unfortunately, last night it decided to snow--not much in Baltimore or Pittsburgh, but the snow decided to plop itself right in our path--6 to 10 inches, apparently, although I have no idea what the weather was ACTUALLY like on the Turnpike, as we never left. Both of my parents warned me about the danger of driving on the Turnpike in snow (the travel speed was reduced to 45mph there), and if we were only going to be there for one day it wasn't worth it. Of course, Mom left the decision entirely up to me (Dad basically told me not to come), which (of course) means that I knew I had to stay home. I was furious. I cried for a few hours, had John call Mom to tell her--because I didn't want to talk--and had John tell Mom to tell Dad, and tell him not to call me.

Maybe I was overreacting (John insisted I wasn't), but I was SO disappointed. I've never seen KJ perform, especially a role like Max Detweiler, and I had my heart set on it. I hated having to surrender to something as stupid and changeable as the weather--especially when I couldn't see it myself. I'm still now sure if it was worth it to stay--if we'd have been in any REAL danger to drive down. Either way, it's done now. :/

John was instrumental in getting me through the day--apart from putting up with my tears, he was all too willing to stick around and make me lunch (after we fell asleep for three hours--crying always tires me out) and snuggle me up if I needed it. And, of course, offer me delicious Chinese food for dinner. Seriously, he knows how to show me love. :P

I also cut myself some bangs today--John initially brought it up--citing photos of me from Fall 2008. He thinks I'd look great in bangs again, and Robin quickly seconded this when I brought up cutting my bangs to Katie on Wednesday night when we all went out for burgers (and to watch Canada cream Russia--woo!). So, I decided 'What the hell?', and cut my bangs in the bathroom this afternoon. They need to grow in a little bit, but I'm happy--I just need to pay a bit more attention to my eye makeup now. :P

The senior party--entitiled 'Gala Obscura'--is tomorrow night. It's a cocktail party, and I have to decide what on Earth to WEAR. I don't want to go too formal, but I would hate to be overdressed. What to do?!

Hope you're all doing well. Stay warm!

Love,

-A.

Valentine's Day and a few churchy/cultural musings

Last year's Valentine's Day was a huge disappointment (even in Italy). This year made up for all that and more. :D

John and I went to church yesterday morning, then grabbed lunch at Sofi's Crepes with Emily and our neighbor Maggie before John had to go to rehearsal for Midsummer. I did laundry, showered and dressed for dinner before meeting John to go to P.F. Chang's in the Harbor. We caught the Light Rail and made it in time for our 6:30 reservations, which ended up being closer to 7:30 reservations due to delays. BUT, we got a super-awesome cushy VIP booth, so that made up for it. :) We got egg rolls (YES) and I got almond and cashew chicken, which was delicious, and John and I shared a banana spring roll dessert with pineapple-coconut ice cream. YUM! It was a really fun and relaxing dinner, and I just love him! :D

Nora (Robin's squeeze) and Dewey (Nora's elder brother and JEN'S recent romantic interest) also visited this weekend. Nora came to my performance at Coffeehouse of Luurrrve (I sang "I've Never Been In Love Before" from Guys and Dolls) and John, Jewey (as we nicknamed Jen/Dewey), Emily, Colin, Katie, Nora, Robin and I all gathered at our place to play Balderdash (for about three hours!) afterwards! Super fun and super silly. :D We'll just say--geese, swans, kakkerlak (kyaa-kur-lyaaaak), and The Stuff: DO YOU HAVE IT?

As I said, I woke up early yesterday, and John, Emily, Maggie and I went to church. The sermon itself was fine--about Jesus growing to learn and know His Father and His purpose, etc. However, there were two testimonies about 'Unity Month' in the church. The first was from a Korean woman who didn't really experience a racially-diverse church until she and her husband went to Paris for his job. When they came back they found Faith Christian Fellowship (where I attend), and knew that's where they wanted to belong because of it's diversity. Fair enough.

The second woman grew up quite sheltered--lived in Colorado, college in western Massachusetts. She decided to attend medical school in Baltimore, which was obviously a huge change. She started attending FCF and obviously found herself more integrated with non-whites. Okay, cool. BUT, then she used the phrase 'racial reconciliation', and spoke about how she realized we (as in, "we whites") have to repent for what our forefathers did to the slaves. "Our country was built on the backs of slaves and Native Americans," she said. "We need to stop overlooking and sugar-coating that aspect of history." She closed with, "Happy Black History Month!"

I was pretty annoyed by the whole testimony. Another thing--our bulletins explained Unity Day, and this sentence appeared: 'For youth who have grown up in a generation sheltered from the legal racism of our past, was the Obama victory a big deal?"

Firstly, it is important to remember that the US did own and use slaves for a hundred years before the Civil War. It is part of our history, and we teach that history in order to acknowledge that wrong to subsequent generations. I've never felt that the participation of slaves in the founding of our country was overlooked or underrepresented. In fact, I would say that that's an aspect of history we concentrated on. In my (Northern and mostly white) elementary and middle school, we absolutely observed Black History Month. It didn't make a big difference to me then--I was brought up to look at people as equals no matter what. (A side note--I despise the phrase 'African-American'. The first part of this article [vulgar though it may be] describes my thoughts on the subject exactly.)

As I got older, I heard about the movement to pay restitution to black families in our recent history (like, in the last thirty years), and it made me realize that it was a step backwards for anyone (of any race/color) to dwell on the mistreatment of blacks during slave times. Those who perpetrated those offenses (not to mention those who suffered them) are long dead. And not only that--private organizations were BOYCOTTED due to their connections to slavery. I'm talking as recently as 2005. Was the Emancipation Proclamation not enough of an apology? Freedom wasn't enough? I mean, I'm Irish--can I ask for reparations for MY ancestors being mistreated at the turn of the century? Can I boycott the places that denied them jobs until they apologize for their long-dead managers? What about Chinese History Month? Indian History Month? No? But I digress.

I do believe that racism is still alive and well--I'm not an idiot. I'm aware that several groups (racism does not belong to blacks, as it is unfortunately thought to) are being mistreated and prejudiced against in the US. However, I am a firm believer that this is an exception to the rule now.

The recent election is a whole other issue--the fact that it was so important that Obama was black (half-black--he's as black as he is white, people) was pretty sickening to me. WHO CARES IF HE IS BLACK? The important thing is if a politician is ready, competent, and if he or she in the best person for the job. Age, sex, and race/color DO NOT MATTER.

Obama's election could be an indicator that the US has reformed enough, and is 'ready', as a country, for a black president. Or, perhaps, we never had a more competent political option from another race/color in recent memory (Jesse Jackson? Al Sharpton? UGH.). Or perhaps, some people were voting for him because of his race and color. This CNN exit poll shows that the LARGE majority of every minority voted for Obama, including 95% of black men who voted voted for Obama, and 96% of black women. I think that it is just as bad to vote for Obama because he is a person-of-color as it is to vote against him for it. I could have cared less that Obama is half-black--I didn't vote for him because I think he was the absolute wrong choice.

It think it's time to stop singling out any race/color. The color of our skin is simply aesthetic. We are made equal. By paying more attention to one over another, we're moving away from equality and towards racism--however good our intentions may be.

I mentioned the testimony to my sister--her response was telling:

Lauren: Ahh, Black History Month. The most useless month of recognition...Me and my BLACK FRIEND FROM AFRICA were talking about that the other day. (Her emphasis--the friend is 'Jabbie', her neighbor from Sierra Leone. From Wikipedia: "Unlike most African nations, Sierra Leone has no serious ethnic or religious divisions. People often married across tribal and religious boundaries.")

Me: What did he say?

Lauren: He said that whenever they specially recognize black people then it's not equal, because they're trying to promote black people when they should be just like everyone else.

_______

Well, there you go.

When life gives you lemons...

I mentioned it here, and I posted it on my art blog--over winter break, I ran into a family friend, and he generously offered me a connection to a new online magazine-type site that needed an illustrator. I e-mailed the editor (his friend), who welcomed me enthusiastically and promptly. I sent her my ideas and sketches and then...nothing.

I called her four or five days later, and she answered immediately, praising my sketches and just claiming to be weighed down by the holiday season (fair enough) and negotiating about my payment (also fair). She said she'd get back to me the following week. So, I waited.

I sent her at least seven e-mails over this past month. I got zero response. I didn't call, because I have my own schooling to be worrying about, and frankly, the ball was in her court.

I saw her on Facebook today (where I've seen her frequently--she definitely has the time to be answering my e-mails), and decided to connect again. She just waved me off saying Valentine's Day is busy for the site, and when I asked her a direct question--is the project happening or not?--she signed off. BITCH. FACE. MCGEE.

So, we'll see if I decide to pursue this--on one hand, it's paying professional work for a resume. This is a very good thing. If the opportunity DID open to me, I would take it, but OHMYLORD would there be a contract drawn up. I want to be PAID, and this flaky behavior does not indicate prompt paychecks.

I sent another e-mail to a separate editor--clearly the one I was in contact with is unreliable--asking for some answers. Wish me a prompt response!

In other news, Alexander McQueen committed suicide. D: Sad.

On a lighter note, Taylor Lautner is legal! Whoop, whoop! :P

Stay warm!

-A.

As I said before...so much to post now!

YOU GO JOHNNY WEIR:

"I totally get the dirtiness of the fur industry and how terrible it is to animals. But it's not something that's the No. 1 priority in my life. There are humans dying everyday. There are thousands if not millions of homeless people in New York City. Look at what just happened in Haiti. I tend to focus my energy, if there is a cause, on humans. While that may be callous and bad of me, it's my choice.

Every skater is wearing skates made out of cow. Maybe I'm wearing a cute little fox while everyone else is wearing cow, but we're all still wearing animals."

Good, effing, boy. Seriously. This is what I think every time I hear about some stupid animal rights crusade. More people are willing to pay for ridiculous veterinary bills than they are for their own health insurance. JUST SAYING.

Apart from the moral implications...

It's been interesting to observe the commentary on not only the gross actions taken by John Edwards in the face of the revelation about his affair, child, Andrew Young's looming book release (The Politician, February 2010) and Game Change, but on the standards of political coverage on this and other scandals, some true, some false.

For example (from here):

"The book Game Change, on the 2008 presidential campaign, continues to be in the news because people are fascinated to find out what was going on. Imagine if a book came out reporting the blockbusting news that during the campaign Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's unmarried teenaged daughter had been pregnant. Or that Palin's ex-brother-in-law was fired from his job as a highway patrolman in Alaska. Who would buy that book? Nobody, because we all know that, along with a whole lot of intimate details about the extended Palin family, because that was considered news during the campaign.

What wasn't considered news was that John Edwards was very openly having an affair with a Rielle Hunter, who was supposedly videotaping segments of his campaign. But as everyone involved in the campaign knew, the real reason she was traveling with the campaign had nothing to do with videotape, or at least not the videotaping she was doing during the day.

The campaign staff knew; the reporters covering the campaign knew because it was obvious; and the National Enquirer reported the affair and reported that Edwards was the father of Hunter's baby.

Now for a presidential candidate to father a child with a supposed member of his campaign staff during the campaign is still big news, and when the story finally came out it cost Edwards his political career. All they had to do was follow the money. Hunter didn't have a real job with the campaign and the campaign paid her over $100,000.

But none of the mainstream reporters would touch it during the campaign.
...
By comparison, on the Republican side there is no level that is too low to go. The result is that a rumor that John McCain had had an affair with a Capitol Hill lobbyist was on the front page of The New York Times. It was a front page story despite the fact that after devoting a team of reporters to the rumor for months, all the reporters could come up with was that some McCain staffers said they thought McCain spent too much time with this attractive female lobbyist. That's front page news. The fact that Edwards fathered a child with a woman who he had hired ostensibly to videotape his campaign is not news. The fact that Elizabeth Edwards ripped off her own shirt at an airport in an argument with John Edwards is not news."

Hm. Solid points. I would say, while I know this is a right-leaning columnist, a person from any party should be able to see the bias in this. (It's interesting to note that I saw nary a Tweet about the whole debacle. John Edwards was not a Tweeting topic. Astounding.)

Either way, it's disgusting to realize the levels some people will stoop to. Even before I read the excerpt from Game Change, I was mortified at the idea that a man would not only commit adultery against his ill wife and children (who are absolutely victims too), but father a child. And not only father a child, but DENY his paternity, knowing full well that it is his. Despicable.

(And what about birth control? Considering Edwards' support sex education which includes instruction on how to acquire and use it, he's not really holding up his end.)

After reading the excerpt, I was appalled. Appalled at the recklessness, carelessness, and sheer egocentricity of this man. Naturally, I can understand that this testimony could very well be exaggerated, but it is still an amazing set of events to be revealed.

Now, as a Conservative, it was not even possible for me to consider Edwards as a leader of this country in politics alone. Political leanings aside, this situation positively murders any ounce of credibility in his personal character. Don't get me wrong--politicians from both parties have made utter fools of themselves

In other news, the plans set in motion on the subject of health care reform have been put on hold since Scott Brown's election. Brown officially ended the super-majority in the senate, reclaiming filibuster-rights for the Republicans. As far as its supporters, this puts the state of the health care bill originally set to go through to Massachusetts in jeopardy. We'll see where this ends up.

This is the most I've commented on politics publicly (ish) ever. I like it.

-A.

I'm not even keeping score anymore.

On Saturday, Ben came and picked me up from work (that day, a woman took a photo of me with her iPhone in order to trick her friends into thinking she saw Anne Hathaway at Hard Rock, haha!), and we got dinner and rode in the paddle boats on the dirty, dirty harbor and did dramatic readings from internet chatrooms via his BlackBerry. You'd think we were nerds. :P

When we got back to the apartment, Jen informed me that she'd been invited to a party by her TA, Jon, and didn't want to go alone. Ben offered our company and his car, as the party house was in Hampden. After a lot of indecisiveness and changing in and out of pajamas, the three of us got in the car and got lost on our way to the party. :D We did make it, though, and I was surprised to find that it was a block party--there were a bunch of drunk Hampdeners sitting in folding chairs drinking and eating barbecue in the alleyway. I attempted to hula-hoop--one of the 40-year-old Hampden women, Tina, was kicking my ass and trying to teach me. She was very drunk but very encouraging. :)

After spending a little time in the alley, the three of us went into Jon's friend's house for some gumbo that had gone cold and fruit salad. After eating, I just wanted to explore the house a bit--the owner is a MICA alumnus, so it was very artsy, and ended up walking in on the alumnus-in-question rolling a joint in his living room. WHOOPS. But I forced my jaw closed and my eyebrows down and was chill about it, even though I wanted to elbow Ben in the face for taking the joint when they passed it around. (Love you, doll! :P)

While they were smoking, I started chatting with a guy in a blue plaid shirt with pretty olive eyes about living in Italy. Nick, the olive-eyed boy, is 24 and has an intensely handsome face, and was so soft-spoken and interested about my visit. (That, and he didn't take the joint. Bonus points.) It was a short chat, but we kept glancing at each other until I left to try hula-hooping again. I did manage to impress everyone with being able to "skip" the hoop. Woo! After a little while, Nick came out and was watching me and Ben try to hula-hoop with Tina guiding us nearby. When we finally stopped, Nick, who was obviously a bit drunker than when we first talked, chatted with me a little more before leaning in and adorably half-whispering: "I think you're super-cute", and confessing that he could only talk to be because he had a few beers in him.

I was charmed, and he asked me out to dinner, so we exchanged numbers and parted ways for a little while. Jen, Jon, Jon's friend Eli, Ben, and I made the plan to go a couple blocks to Rocket to Venus, a cute little bar/restaurant, so I told Nick we were heading out, and I invited him to join us if he liked. So, we went ahead--when I left the party, Tina slurred that we had to make a date to hula-hoop more and that I was so pretty. :D--and I texted him the name of the place, and he met us. I was actually surprised they let me in at all, as I was the only one under 21, but I guess they just let it slide and pretended my vertical PA ID was valid. :P Nick bought me a beer and we flirted a bit and he told me how cute/beautiful I was about fifty-trillion times and wouldn't stop starting at me. :) However, at this point I'm putting together that he is an agnostic socialist Ravens fan to my conservative Christian Steelers fan, but I let it go because we just met and I barely know him and besides, we hadn't even kissed yet!

We all walk back to Jon's house (different from the party house) and Nick and I sort of lag behind and he kisses me and holy EFF is he a good kisser, and we get to Jon's place and just chill out on the lawn while everyone else goes inside, and we talk and kiss a little more and he tells me about his visits to Ireland and Italy, and I break the news that I won't be having sex with him (which he takes very well). :P We finally go inside and the others are watching The Dark Knight. I sit on the stairs and he sits on the arm of the chair opposite me and touches me knee then gives me the 'Upstairs?' eye movement, which I immediately rebuff. After a few minutes he sits next to me on the stairs and nuzzles me, then lifts his lips to my ear and--

"I want to get married."

I smile, puzzled. "What? In general, or to me?"

He just looks at me. I try not to frown. "You're joking. Ha ha."

"Why not?"

I laugh quietly again and lower my voice. "What do you mean 'why not'? We don't even know each other. You just met me."

"You are one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. Let's get married. I'm serious. Tomorrow." His voice has that muzzly quality that someone who is drunk and sincere has.

Me---> 8/ "No. That's not a possibility."

But he wouldn't back down. He wasn't forceful at all, but he was only concerned with doing something crazy and making an amazing story. After a few minutes, I excused us to go outside and talk this through without a potential audience.

We talked for about an hour, I guess, in circles mostly--I concentrated on why it's a crazy and dumb idea, and he concentrated on painting a picture of a life where we'd visit Europe every year (he loves to travel), and he'd take his photos and I'd illustrate books, and we'd have two kids and he'd never root for the Steelers. He also confided to me that Tina told him to follow meand fall in love with me immediately after I left the party. Truthfully, he was that kind of endearing fateful type of romantic-comedy hero who is saying something completely insane, but with the air of finally seeing things clearly at the climax of the film.

And this is why, instead of running in the other direction as about 60% of you told me to do, I agreed to still go out to dinner with him. I KNOW, I KNOW. (I can hear Lauren's "YOU'RE RETARDED" from here.)

I also went to Chris' place last night and watched half of Braveheart. I'm not sure what to make of Chris and I--he was all into it at first, but now I'm sensing this hesitance. Also, he paid more attention to his dog than to me, which I cannot abide. I don't know yet, though--Chris is just awful at expressing his feelings verbally, as far as I can tell.

And, Ben makes a Brian-esque observation about me:

Ben: You should be a spy.

Me: Haha. Why should I be a spy?

Ben: Persistent. Hunger for knowledge. Spying is like gossip. Except, instead of 'Who slept with who', it's 'Who has nukes'.

And some more "Why I Love Brian", Parts Twelve and Thirteen:

Brian: Caleb, Matt and I are reaching new levels of gay. We're going to tan before we go to Vegas.

Brian: Time to work some Mystery Method at the Edge tonight.

(shortly thereafter)

Brian: Nothin'. No girls at all. It's a 'dick farm' as Caleb put it.

Sidenote: Letta is arriving on Wednesday night, late. I am working hard to fix her and Ben up and it is working AWESOMELY. BECAUSE I AM AWESOME AND SO ARE THEY. YES. They are freakishly perfect for one another, and I am excited for both of them. :)

Another congratulations to my awesome sister, who was accepted and is attending Ohio University this fall. :D I'm so proud of her!

I love my friends, and as crazy as it is, I love my life.

-A.

What is my life? Part ten trillion.

A lot to update.

So, because John was in France and he reads this, I didn't want him to find out that I had "chosen" (in the lightest possible way) Mark just by reading this--I had more respect for him than that and wanted to tell him in person, so I haven't mentioned Mark or John here at all in the last ten days.

Basically, I dated Mark for almost two weeks, and it went well. He watched the Pens games with me, and was there when we won. He gave me the most amazing surprise on Tuesday night when he brought me to a Jack's Mannequin concert--needless to say, I was completely shocked and excited and it was a fantastic show and Brian is jealous that I saw it before him without even trying. :D

But, after the concert, when I kissed Mark 'thank you', it felt all wrong. Like, 'I-am-NOT-supposed-to-be-kissing-you' kind of wrong. I tried to shrug it off and not let it ruin the evening, because I had a spectacular time, truly. It was such a thoughtful gesture.

So, John returned on Wednesday, and after my first day of work, I went by his house to welcome him back and he had brought me a bouquet of yellow flowers ("to brighten the place up now that Betsy left") and a red rose (Beauty and the Beast and all that jazz). It was so sweet, and it made what I had to say even more difficult. But, I broke the news and he took it well enough--he seemed to understand at least. I made sure he knew he did everything right, and that I wasn't really going to choose either of them--I realized that neither of them are right for me (as I feared when this all started). What I didn't expect however, was the scale of his feelings--he took me by surprise when he told me he's "never felt this way about anyone". And yes, that includes his ex-girlfriend of nearly 6 years. WOW. It was far more emotional than I expected.

But we parted on okay terms, and agreed that I would still meet his friends from home, who came in last night from New Jersey.

But, there was still the case of Mark to wrap up. I asked Mark to pick me up from work yesterday, and I told him that we shouldn't see each other romantically anymore, and he's been wonderful and it has nothing to do with anything he could control. He was "shocked", but took the blow stoically enough--at first. He asked me if it was because he moved too fast (yes and no--he was just in a 5-year long relationship and we're at different stages; it's something neither of us could control), and I assured him that there was no one else. We said goodbye and although he got emotional as well, we had a parting joke, so I'm not too worried that--after a while--we might be friends.

I spent the evening calling people and filling them in--I've left a lot out here for the sake of my own sanity, so call if you need more details--and around 10 PM, I called John and asked when I should go over (his friends were set to arrive at 1 AM). No answer. Okay, fine--I waited until 10:40, and called again. Nothing. Then 11. Nothing.

Then he called me back, and had clearly been pretty upset all day--he was sniffling on the phone. He informed me that he'd just gotten off the phone with his ex--he'd called so he could apologize, because 'now he knows how she feels'. (Twist the freaking knife, please. I alreday feel like shit for hurting you.)

He also told me that all of his female friends don't understand how I could turn down such a great guy, blah blah, etc, and he told me he ended up defending me. I told him he didn't have to defend me, and that I know exactly where his friends are coming from, but he insisted that I did nothing wrong. (Which I didn't.) Basically, that led to him telling me that Cara, the girl he's staying with right now and one of his best friends, doesn't want me in her house because I hurt John. It's not really her concern, but I understood, so I let that be, and offered my own apartment if he still wanted his friends to meet me. What it came down to, is that I agreed to wait up and he would text if he wanted to bring them over.

I accidentally fell asleep a little after midnight, and awoke at 3:30 AM, mad at myself for falling asleep in my clothes, annoyed at my stinging eyes (I'd left my contacts in), and feeling dirty and uncomfortable. I also had a text from John, explaining (as I'd expected) that the "consensus" was, he shouldn't see "the infatuee" (AKA, me) so soon, and I may not meet his friends at all this weekend. I do completely understand this, but it's all so freaking DRAMATIC!  I'm 2-for-2 in making boys cry this week, and that doubles my quotient from over the last five years!

What I don't understand is--and I am not trying to devalue or disqualify either boy's feelings--how did those feelings develop so quickly?! After all, Mark and I dated for just under two weeks, and he wanted to take me home to his parents, and John and I dated not at all (although I appreciate the bonding time we spent together)! How am I supposed to deal with all of these strong feelings--good and bad? How can I be responsible for something I can't control?

I suppose the answer is that I can't be.

And because this is my blog and I have to write down one small, selfish thing: I hurt two people, and I'm still alone. That really, really sucks.

Okay, that's enough.

I'll talk to you all soon, I hope--work is seriously cutting into my internet time. :P

Love,

-A.

Not a bad cure for restlessness...

Today was an unproductive day for the most part, but I got to talk to a lot of awesome people. :)

I had my second interview at the Hard Rock Cafe today, and was invited back for a third on Monday morning. Wish me luck!

I arrived a little early for the interview, which was at 11, and then ended up waiting an extra hour in Barnes & Noble, starting a book called Thirteen Reasons Why that I intend to buy as a reward if I get the HRC job. Never mind that I went right back to B&N and finished it after my interview was over. :P It's excellent, I completely recommend it. I especially recommend that you call me first and let me read it to you. :D

On my ride home on the light rail, David called me just to catch up, and aside from being incredibly supportive ("Whoever sent tht Honesty Box message is obviously in love with you. They are so jealous of your confidence."), is always so interested in what is going on in my life. It's really nice. :)

I chatted with him when I got home, and got to talk to my Mom for the first time in forever! She's been busy working and doing her thing, so I haven't been able to talk with her as much as I'd like. Ever since going to Italy, since our communication was so patchy, I got used to telling her only the abbreviated versions of the news in my life. It was just nice to get it all out with her and hear her input. It's not that I need her input, but it puts me at ease to hear from her. :)

However, she did bring up Dad, and the shit he's been pulling with KJ, which makes me sick to my stomach. He takes KJ for an hour on Stanley Cup playoff days, and drops him off at Mom's before watching the games elsewhere with HIS friends. He talked about this No Doubt concert all week with KJ, only to be taking his wife, her daughter, and her friend. Not KJ. >:( It makes me so angry I can hardly speak.

But I don't want to concentrate on that. KJ is over it--he's angry, but he knows Dad is a dick. It just makes me sad because since Mom will be traveling all summer for work, Dad is supposed to be the point-man. UGH. I just remembered what else Dad said. KJ told Dad that he was supposed to be in charge while Mom is gone, and Dad said this (brace yourself): "So, I guess your Mom will be giving me back my child support, then?"

>:O SERIOUSLY. GOD DAMMIT.

Once again, I can't think about this for too long without wanting to vomit.

Thankfully, I got a distraction towards the end of our conversation--the doorbell rang. My eBay dress arrived four days earlier than I expected! I got off the phone with Mom--making sure she knows just how grateful I am for her--and tried on my dress with my new stapless long-line bra. The dress was even more lovely than I imagined, and it fit me perfectly! So, so gorgeous. :D Maybe I can have Betsy take some photos of me in it before she moves out on Saturday and post them here. :)

Betsy and Ben [not Bennett] arrived back at my apartment after some errands. After admiring my dress :P, we talked a bit and caught up and then Ben left and our friend Claire came over and I'm now listening to Betsy and Claire talk about this past semester, catching up and reflecting for a last visit.

It's really sad to think about Betsy leaving--I know that we'll see each other and keep in touch, for sure, but we've gotten so close and get each other so completely. I know that I don't have that with Jen, and I usually have at least one roommate I connect with on that kind of level. We'll see who our next third is this coming semester. :/

I'm doing well. I'm taking things one day at a time, and I'm reminding myself to keep it up every day--I get ahead of myself so often. And exchange I had with Mom today said it best:

Me: I don't know, I've probably been making it more dramatic and difficult than I should.
Mom: Well, that's just you.

It was good-natured, which is unusual for criticism from my Mom. :) It was almost a compliment, in a way. :P

So, the most important thing in my life for the next day is GAME 7 WOOOOO!!!!! And after that, my interview! Good thoughts for both, please! :D

Love,

-A.

Venom, continued.

"my point exactly, sweetheart. you are so blinded by some deep seated need to make up for some (unknown to me) insecurities that you are unable to let my previous criticisms slide. you felt the need to write back to me, proving further your obsession with preserving your self image. i feel like it was not meant to put me in my place, rather, to reaffirm to yourself that you are in fact the person you see yourself as.

if you didn't want people to say these things to you, for reasons of flattery, or simply to incite a little drama, you wouldn't have an honesty box in the first place. i'm not going to offer anymore criticism, but i can assure you that your response affirmed my assumptions about you."

WOW, really?

This is as haughty a response as any this person expected out of me, and yet I'M the one with the over-confidence/insecurity issues.

I responded:

"Well, I have to say you're mistaken--my response was intended, partly to 'put you in your place', as you say, and partly borne of true curiosity. Your venom is so obvious, I sincerely wondered where you got the impression of me that you did, because I have an arsenal of people with the exact opposite impression of me.

I'm the first person to admit that I like to be approved of (who wants people to dislike them?), but I'm also the first person to admit where I'm flawed and insecure--for instance, I know I get nervous about my thesis and keeping up with work and the prospect of failing. But I have a strong sense of self, and I'd say that threatens people who have the sort of insecurities you claim I have.

And truly, you expected and relished my response, I'm sure. As for the reasons why I have an honesty box, who doesn't want to be secretly flattered? What's your excuse for having one? So you can spew your ire on unsuspecting 'friends' under the safe cover of your computer, even hiding your gender?

Also, you're not helping your own argument, considering you said yourself that you only 'assumed' these things about me. It's short-sighted that you wouldn't even get to know me first before writing me off."

UGH. Anyway.

I watched the Pens game with Mark this evening (HOLY EFF 5-0 shut out--Pens, you're killing me. D: But I have faith) and then he took me out for ice cream to cheer me up. :) And he was charming and sweet and funny and invited me up to meet his cousin and some friends soon and was patient when some drama arose with Brian that I had to help with. And we kissed. (Finally.)

It was easy to sit in traffic with him coming back from dessert and just hold his hand and listen to music (we have similar tastes) and smile. It would be easy to like him.

It's easy to be with both of them. :/

ANYWAY, Ben is coming to visit tomorrow evening! It'll be nice to catch up.

Love you all--good night!

-A.

P.S.
Robin: of course my primary concern in this matter is your happiness

Alyssa: :D thanks, sweet

Robin: but of course, my secondary concern in this matter is MY happiness, and who would be more fun for ME to hang out with while hanging out with you and your boyfriend

Ah, isn't this amazing?

Picture this.

Betsy, John and I are sitting in the living room finishing dinner--John and I made rotelli and I cobbled together some sauce. Betsy then went to get a few things at the supermarket, leaving John and I alone on the couch. Something to know about John is he personalizes ringtones for his close friends, and told me that he chose one for me--we decide to make it a surprise, although I can guess what he chose.

So, as we've done for the past week or so, we talk about the crazy situation we find ourselves in! John is, as usual, selfless and supportive and it's amazing. He jokes that the ringtone he chose was pertinent, and at that point (you all know me), I had to know what he chose. And, the exchange:

John: I chose the part in "Belle" (from Beauty and the Beast, doy) when she's sitting on the fountain. (In case you guys forget the lyrics to that, here you go: "Ah, isn't this amazing? It's my favorite part because, you see--here's where she meets Prince Charming, but she won't discover that it's him 'til Chapter Three!")

Me: I love that part! :D

John: Well...I can wait 'til Chapter Three.

...


...


(Let that sink in.)

Me: 8( ) <---*jaw-dropping, eye-bulging* That was the PERFECT THING TO SAY. *stutters for about five minutes* I-I-um. Wow. I-jeez! Did you think of that earlier?

John: *looking surprised at himself* No, just now.

Me: 8( ) WOW. Okay...okay.

So, as you can see, this is awesome. Storybooks are written about boys like John who say those things that don't even seem like they could be real. And, I must say, he knows exactly how to put his arms around a girl. When he hugged me goodbye last night, his hands just found the right place on my back that made me feel really feminine and safe. :) Betsy observed that I have a glow around John.

But, as the complicated story goes, I have a date with Mark tonight. He called this morning and invited me to dinner before we watch the Pens game together. He invited Betsy as well, because he didn't want her to feel left out, and he was just so considerate on the phone. I'm looking forward to spending more time with Mark--I think tonight will be a good chance to be more casual with him. After all, we had the first date, then everything came out about John and me, then we watched Game 4 with Betsy, and a lot of discomfort has been overcome, but we haven't been in private since then. This week will be informative.

In other news, I spoke to Robin today and got a decent update about him (I really do miss just hanging out and joking around with him), and spoke to Joey V. yesterday and got a HUGE update about our old high school friends, and as usual, he was funny and supportive about my deal. I swear, we have so much fun together! :D And we're about to embark on a fun project together we've always meant to start, so I'm excited!

Things here are going well. :) The rest of my day will be spent cleaning up in the kitchen before tonight--I hope you all have a fantastic day! :)

Love,

-A.

P.S. Thanks to all of your who commented about the Honesty Box message I received--your support means everything! Love you.

I'd love to hear the Reader Commentary on this piece of DELICIOUS prose.

"have you ever taken a moment to step back and evaluate the degree to which you admire yourself? seriously, i write this out of concern. i think you overestimate how much people actually like you. get a grip sister. your self image isn't lacking, rather, it's overcompensating. self confidence is a good thing, don't get me wrong, but too much of it is unflattering to the point of being obnoxious."

This was delivered to my Honesty Box on Facebook this evening between 5 and 7. Betsy thinks it's someone who reads my blog--I can't say for sure; it could just be someone who has let their distaste for me build up for awhile and decided to unleash it anonymously.

It's *this* much hurtful, but THIS much hilarious and truly delightful! I almost want to shake their hand at this solid attempt to shake me. After all, there was forethought--"i think you overestimate how much people actually like you." This person wants to hurt me. It's almost cute.

It's an amazing twist, the balance between true "concern" (ha) and "get a grip, sister". I'm inclined to think it's a girl (what guy says 'get a grip, sister'?), but who knows?

It's someone who thinks I'm far too arrogant for my own good (I'm confident, I'll admit, and I do have my superior moments, but I think this person is taking it to a level it doesn't exist on), and they think I am only too glad to step all over people's toes to get my point across. It could be a true opinion, but the last thing they're doing is sending it to me out of 'concern'. It's a bit too harsh to be qualified as loving concern.

Any ideas?

Love you all--

-A.

ETA: Rebuttal? :)

While I appreciate the input, I have a hard time believing it comes from anywhere close to a place of concern. The phrases you chose were intended to cut deeply--and I felt them in some regard, don't you worry--and I can't write you off as just an acquaintance with a passing observation.

You know me. Closely enough that you probably shouldn't have to keep this anonymous. But for some reason, you find it appropriate to be venomous. It's almost flattering! I just wonder what your real problem is with me that you pointed out THIS 'concern', this flaw in me. What have I done to you in particular? Must've been good.

'Ask and you shall receive' does NOT eff around.

It's satisfying to have an understanding with someone. But also complicated.

After the success of my first date with Mark, I really wanted to make the next one count--I worked in the afternoon, then cleaned the apartment (although it needed to be cleaned anyway--guests are just a good motivator) and bopped around to some music while Betsy was out at her first visit to Mercersburg Academy, where she'll be photographing this summer.

John came over around 6 to be filled in on my date over some hot chocolate (it's been miserably grey and chilly and rainy here)--he was completely and genuinely excited about my date and the fact that I had a good time. I told him the bit about Mark confessing to corset-photo guilt, and John mentioned that his mom had seen that photo of me! Slightly embarassing, as that isn't exactly a mommy-friendly photo (I am covered! There is a corset!). Well, let me just write down the exchange after that.

Me: Ooh, she saw that? Not the kind of photo that makes me popular with Moms. With BOYS, however...

John: Well, I liked you long before that.

Me: Oh, totally--wait, what? (thinking) Did he just say what I think he just said?

So, the cat is out of the clear plastic bag. :P (You were all thinking it!) John likes me, and I like him--we're completely comfortable with each other and can be completely honest about the situation. Let me break it down, because I know you're all thinking "What about MARK?!"

Okay. John has endeared himself to me in spades by completely supporting the situation that makes me happy (like a good date with Mark, or several) and by taking all the pressure off of me--he is completely satisfied with being friends first; according to him, "this [the relationship, in any form, between us] can't be bad" (melt!). He just likes the closeness we have already, and isn't pushing anything to change.

So, John was there when Mark arrived around 8. Weird, I know! But I presented John as my friend, and it wasn't as if he were sticking around for the game, so they shook hands and it was fine.

It was a good game for Mark to attend, naturally--we won!!!!!! Which means we tied the series which means we came up from a 2-0 deficit to make it a whole new series! This also means I didn't waste time jumping around and shrieking like a total moron for all the world (and a cute boy) to see. :P But I don't care--it was a fantastic game and I'm so excited! Let's Go Pens!

At this point, I'm still really interested in investigating how things will go with Mark--after all, John and I have been able to spend a lot more time together so far and it's easier to be open since we approached it from a friends perspective rather than the more delicate dating perspective I have with Mark. I want to give Mark a real chance, because I like him too! (Still no kiss, by the way.)

Actually, the timing is sort of perfect--John is about to head home and then to France for a week, which gives me ample time to see where things go with Mark.

Until then, I'm just entrusting it to God and praying about it. We'll see!

I'll leave you with a wise, wise quote from my Em:

Emily: prayer is good. salad cream is NOT good.

I love you all--wish me luck!

-A.

New York, New York: Where cute Jewish babies threaten to kill each other in the sandbox. Part Two. (With a dash of "Why I Love Brian")

When we left Our Heroes, they had ventured into Long Island. :)

After the bad news about my aunt, we stopped at Haagen-Dazs to get Ben, Betsy, and Jess a Banana Split Dazzler (*shhhing!*) and went to the park to eat it and saw five adorable Israeli kids in their underwear and smirking at us, then went to this restaurant called Pancho's for Mexican. Yes, dessert first. :P

Lunch was good, but the waiter was a jerky face and they added the tip automatically so we couldn't stiff them for their bad behavior. LAME. But we drew cute cartoons on the table paper, so we win.

After lunch, we worked off the calories at a local playground--we played on the swings (Ben took one particularly nasty spill and scraped his arm after Betsy and I both warned him on separate occasions about jumping from swings) and had an impromptu photo shoot on the grass. We overheard the toddlers responsible for my entry title--some gems from their mouths include:

"I'm gonna cut your head off!"

"My mother and my brother are gonna kick you in the ASS!"

"I'm going to get a bat and hit you in the FACE!"

Yup. Charming.

We drove around a bit more and went back to Ben's house to chill for a while before I met his dad more properly. Whew. He was intense! SERIOUS EYE CONTACT. But in a good way, although he wasted no time in telling me that if I don't learn Flash I'll never make money. :) He warmed to me more once he found out my interest in conservation, however.

The drive back to Baltimore was more pleasant that the drive from--we were all more awake and good-tempered. :) Not to mention the wide array of funny things that went down. More bridge-phobia for Jess (that trooper! :D), a great deal more Betsy-and-Alyssa-Sing-Along ensued, and during a rousing rendition of "Poker Face" by Lady GaGa, my personal favorite moment occurred:

Bets and Lyss: "P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face!"
Jess: "What is she saying? Poke her face?"
Bets and Lyss: "No, no. POKER FACE. Like the game. Have you heard that term? Poker face?"
Ben: "She's saying 'butterface'. You know, like a Butterface."
Jess: "Butterface? Poke? Poke-her-face?!"
Bets and Lyss: "NO! POKER. POKER FACE. Like the card game!"
Ben: "B-b-b-butterface, b-b-butterface!"
Jess: "I don't understand! Why are you all saying different things?!"
Bets and Lyss: *Laughing too hard to correct Jess*

Hahahahaha. I can't even keep from laughing now!

Also, Betsy was foiled in her search for a Spock collector's cup--she is now in love with Spock since seeing Star Trek with me, Robin, the two Bens, Colin, and Jen a few weeks back.

It was a fantastic weekend all around. :) Thanks, you guys, for making it so awesome! :D

SIDE NOTE!: Eric, the Gossip Girl fan who came over last week, did come over and hang out. He also admitted that he wanted to ask me out on a date, but thanks to his return to Austin, no go. But, we made plans to hang out on Friday. He said he would call me and--Surprise!--did not. Well, that is, he called at 9:30pm, while I was on my way to New York City. And he only called to tell me why he couldn't hang out that day! Leave my hanging all day, then that! Lame. But oh well.

I also saw Marla on Monday. I got called in to work at the Meyerhoff desk that morning from 8 AM to noon, and posted a status update about it on Facebook. At about 11:30, Marla walks in. I look up and freeze, but she just says "Hi", her mouth in the hint of a smile, and walks to the computers. I felt my eyebrows fly up "Hiiiiiiiiiii..."

About twenty minutes later, she goes to walk out, without saying one word to me.

"Marla, wait."

She turned, and I saw that her eyes were red and moist.

"I'm sorry."

She almost smiled, but mirthlessly. "Thank you." Then she turned on her heel and walked right out.

Like any stalker, I checked her internet history. She only visited two frivolous animal blogs, no e-mail. It clicked. She has a computer at home. She saw my status update. She came to see if I would apologize.

Joey had a different theory: "She prob wanted to see if you gained weight in Italy and then got pissed when she realized you lost a babillion pounds!" (Unlikely, but funny. Except for the part where I had a babillion pounds to lose. :P )

So, relatively painless, and I guess that's that for now. We'll see if we see each other again any time soon.

I hope you're all well. Love you!

-A.

P.S. Why I Love Brian, Part 4? 5? Lost count.

Me: *Persuade, persuade, persuade*
Brian: Haha. You're like the little devil on my shoulder, except you have good intentions.
Me: So I'm the angel? Maybe a bit of both.
Brian: I can deal with that. Angel of gossip. :P
Me: Angel of human interest!

P.P.S. GO PENS! Lord Stanley, here we come! :D

To quote Lauren: "What is my life?!"

This was going to be an entry about my own dumminess, but it's going to turn into something exciting and fun!

I commandeered Betsy's computer to pass the time until she got home from her dinner, and I got a comment on Facebook from this guy Eric, who I worked on Ink with last spring--we haven't seen each other in a year. He's in Baltimore for the week, and he's a Gossip Girl fan, too, and after talking for maybe three minutes, all of a sudden, I am smack-dab in the middle of plans to re-watch the season finale with him! Tonight!

It isn't a huge deal--he is cute and funny and a Christian, though--because he's going back to Texas, his home state, on Saturday. But hey, I'm not about to turn down company for a GG-loving cutie pie. Especially one I haven't seen in a year!

Now I have to go pick up some supplies--this goof likes Pepsi over Coke. WTF? :P

Love you all--

-A.

P.S. Seriously, God. You rock. You ALWAYS know when I need these pick-me-ups. You ALWAYS deliver. :)

Crossing the T's and Dotting the I's.

I am not very good at it. :/ I always forget these important things!

I'm having a teensy panic because I'm supposed to be meeting Rebecca, my thesis advisor, before 5ish PM, and I left the book I made this past semester in my apartment, but, because the girl I sublet to, Lee, hasn't given me her key yet, and because Jen and Betsy are out, I am now locked out with no way to get my book! :(

But, Jen or Lee should be back before 4 pm--at least, I think. I'll let you know how it goes.

ANYWAY, Betsy cut and lightened my hair last night--it's about five inches shorter and light gold/brown. Not too drastic of a change, but good. :) I look more grown up, but simultaneously more tough, in a way. Or maybe I'm just projecting. :P

Jen, Betsy, and I had a photo shoot in our basement last night--it is super-creepy and horror-set worthy, and on top of that, the photos came out beautifully. Once Betsy posts them on her website, I'll direct you over.

In exciting news for Lauren, her dating slump is over (although considering she's never really dated, I suppose it never technically began), and she has FOUR guys looking for her attention this summer. Two of them are about 23 (kind of old for her 18-year-old self, and one may have a girlfriend already), and one is a pothead (a definite no for her, thankfully), and the other was in her graduating class, but doesn't have the best reputation for sobriety. We'll see how it pans out. I'm just pleased that she starting to get the attention she deserves.

No romantic opportunities for me, of course--it's a little soon to say, after all--but I should be concentrating on school and work anyway. :) Seeing the commencement party yesterday for MICA '09 gave me a little scare, coupled with this thrill of excitement. But mostly scared. :P

Hope you're all having a good day. Wish me luck with getting into my apartment!

-A.

P.S. For those of you who watch Gossip Girl. Holy ish. Last night?! AMAZING.

P.P.S. For those of you who watch the Pittsburgh Penguins. Holy ish! On our way to the Cup! One down, three to go! :D