"have you ever taken a moment to step back and evaluate the degree to which you admire yourself? seriously, i write this out of concern. i think you overestimate how much people actually like you. get a grip sister. your self image isn't lacking, rather, it's overcompensating. self confidence is a good thing, don't get me wrong, but too much of it is unflattering to the point of being obnoxious."
This was delivered to my Honesty Box on Facebook this evening between 5 and 7. Betsy thinks it's someone who reads my blog--I can't say for sure; it could just be someone who has let their distaste for me build up for awhile and decided to unleash it anonymously.
It's *this* much hurtful, but THIS much hilarious and truly delightful! I almost want to shake their hand at this solid attempt to shake me. After all, there was forethought--"i think you overestimate how much people actually like you." This person wants to hurt me. It's almost cute.
It's an amazing twist, the balance between true "concern" (ha) and "get a grip, sister". I'm inclined to think it's a girl (what guy says 'get a grip, sister'?), but who knows?
It's someone who thinks I'm far too arrogant for my own good (I'm confident, I'll admit, and I do have my superior moments, but I think this person is taking it to a level it doesn't exist on), and they think I am only too glad to step all over people's toes to get my point across. It could be a true opinion, but the last thing they're doing is sending it to me out of 'concern'. It's a bit too harsh to be qualified as loving concern.
Any ideas?
Love you all--
-A.
ETA: Rebuttal? :)
While I appreciate the input, I have a hard time believing it comes from anywhere close to a place of concern. The phrases you chose were intended to cut deeply--and I felt them in some regard, don't you worry--and I can't write you off as just an acquaintance with a passing observation.
You know me. Closely enough that you probably shouldn't have to keep this anonymous. But for some reason, you find it appropriate to be venomous. It's almost flattering! I just wonder what your real problem is with me that you pointed out THIS 'concern', this flaw in me. What have I done to you in particular? Must've been good.
I've Moved!
9 years ago
4 comments:
Its waz me :p
Who knows, completely dumb to say anonymously. You are cocky, I would know, cause I'm cocky, but people do actually like you because you're genuine and caring beyond your attractive shell. So be cocky, you deserve it :D.
The comment is nonsense for two reasons. (1) Any sort of constructive criticism worth an ounce of value comes with a signature. (And I hope the author is reading this) (2) If criticism is intended to be constructive it should be (a) supported by clear, concrete examples and (b) meticulously free of emotional rhetoric. It fails on both fronts. Of course, they probably wouldn't be able hide behind a veil of anonymity if they did give concrete examples, but this just shows how useless the gesture is.
Beyond that, on a personal level, I agree with the general sentiment concerning the causes and problems of over-compensation, but I don't think they apply to you. I've criticized your beliefs many times, just a step short viciously in some cases, and you've never once demonstrated the sort of insecurity that would require the comforts of such "over-compensation" in matters of self-image. Moreover, you're confident in yourself, and confidence is a threat to the insecure. From an insecure perspective, a healthy constitution would seem like over-confidence, I'd imagine. It could be that this gesture is coming from the author's own insecurity over something related to you. Of course its hard to know what, given that s/he is hiding.
if i were you, i would take greatest offense to the line "get a grip sister"...what is a grip sister and why don't i have one yet? and where can i get one because it sounds fantastic. or okay most likely we're just lacking a comma here, in which case, i'd be irritated that the statement wasn't taken to the next level with a 'SISTAH'...can i get an "AMEN"???
and normally i don't do this but my word verification pseudoword is "fillato" UM BACK OFF BLOGGER.
That's ridiculous. Also, pretty passive aggressive and immature to do it anonymously. OH and on FACEBOOK.
So many people mistake self confidence for arrogance because they don't value themselves enough to understand it.
Most likely, this person feels threatened by your sense of self.
Maybe they should deal with their own hurt and anger in a more authentic manner.
The thing that is the most bothersome about something like that is that you can't do anything about it. So now you know that there is some person that has an issue with you that you can't resolve because you don't know who they are and they won't man up to their own emotions.
Well, Alyssa, you can't be responsible for feelings they won't claim as their own.
It's impossible to read something like that about yourself and not take it personally, but if you think that your motives have been pure, then do your best to brush it off. Someone has clearly misread you.
much love
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