My sister is a real person, I promise.

hello. this is alyssa's sister. i have laid down some ground rules for your trip in the next few weeks. and she has told me i must relay them to you myself. soo this is with the best intentions.

1. no kissing in front of me at ANY TIME ("forgetting this rule does not excuse the behavior")
2. no doing anything affectionate in or around my room. including "stuff"

failure to abide by these rules will result in me punching Alyssa in the face.

thanks! can't wait to meet you.

@@@

Lauren sent this to John today. She is not joking. This is simultaneously hilarious and disturbing.

People who don't know Lauren are always a little disbelieving of my description. I wonder if I showed them this, if it would get the point across better. :P

-A.

ETA: John's response:

Ground rules are very important. YOUR ground rules doubly so. Therefore I will comply with your requirements with the utmost and furthest reaches of my ability. However, since your sister's face is on the line, I ask to raise a few points:

1. Does the 'kissing' in Item 1 cover all iterations of the term, or are you implying kissing on the lips?

2. Am I only prohibited from kissing Alyssa? Will I get penalized for kissing other things, including (but not limited to) a frozen lamp post, a dog, or your butt?

3. Will I be penalized under Article 2 for just apathetic "stuff"? Is a mutual feeling of affection a requisite?

4. Is there a specific area of Alyssa's face that will be subject to punching? Her forehead or nose, perhaps? Or is she subject to general battery?

Thank you for your concern in my visit. I seriously would not want to offend you or those closest to you. All necessary precautions will be applied.

I am also excited to meet you.

ETA2: Lauren's Reply:

Thank you for your questions:

1. Kissing means alll kissing. face, hands, et cetera.

2. If you were to kiss random items around our quaint little town I would be forced to think you are a weirdo, and you would no longer be welcome within 50 ft of me.

3. I don't know what number 3 means.

4. This will be determined due to the severity of the crime.

Chit-Chat.

It seems like I've been immersed in unusual talks with unusual people lately--Lacie and I reconnected recently in Facebook messages. Not with any overt affection on my part, although it is good to hear that she's doing better. It's nostalgic, but I have no intention of bringing our friendship back to what it once was.

On the flip side, John's ex, Christine, has been making a serious effort to do...SOMETHING I can't put my finger on. Just being nebby. A mutual friend says, "She's just jealous and wants to know what's going on." (As if I'd tell her.) Lacie summed up the situation from Christine's point-of-view rather well, actually: "Hey, I know you have something to do with my ex-boyfriend--comparing you to me, you're not totally ugly and that threatens me so let me befriend you as to assure myself that I am, in some way, better than you and can come to terms with the fact that you are in the picture."

Either way, it's been amusing, but annoying and pathetic. Time to move on (although she apparently has a new boyfriend). Today is dedicated to working that out. Wish us luck!

Otherwise, the play is going very well (November 13th and 14th if you can make it!), things with work are slow (on my part), but good, and I'm so unbelievably happy with John I can't even express it. :D On that note, I'm going to New Jersey to spend Thanksgiving with John and his family, so I won't see you Sewickley people! :( BUT, I'll be bringing John back with me for the first part of Winter Break so you all can meet him! Excitement!

I've even been hearing from some of you, which is great! (Em, I'll call again today.) Drea! Where are you, dear?!

ALSO. Hilarious news. Drea C. won a beauty pageant representing my birthplace of Reading, PA. I guess getting discovered on her own wasn't enough, so she's going for Miss America! Hysterical! Check it out here.

John gets home today from a weekend visit to his family! Yay! :) Then play practice, then actual work.

Muah--

Love,

-A.

Last year in Game 5, I was certain:

"That Fleury is a God among men.

That Malone is a warrior.

That Sykora is a psychic.

That Gonchar is a beast.

That Hossa is a magnet.

That Talbot is a catalyst.

That Malkin is Fort Knox.

That Therrien is a cuddlebear. :P

That the Pens are kicking ass and taking names."

This year, the Penguins are without Hossa (abandoned us for the Red Wings >:( ), Malone (traded D:), and Therrien (replaced as coach), and unfortunately, most of those other players listed didn't really do much tonight.

BUT, The first and last lines still apply (FLOWER POWER), and we can now add these:

That Scuderi is a brick wall.

That TK is a winner of hearts.

That Staal saves the day.

That Bylsma knew something we didn't. (Sid played so little tonight, it was like he was saving him for Game 7!)

Now it's Pens in 7. Let's make it Pens WIN 7!

Love you all,

-A.

P.S. Why I Love Bess:

Me: Why are all of the Red Wings gingers?
Bess: CUZ THEY SUCK.

(after Fleury's puck rescue off-the-post)
Me: DID YOU SEE FLEURY'S ADORABLE SHEEPISH SMILE?
Bess: FLOWER FLOWER FLOWER! I am taping the game and will be rewinding to watch that fifty times...ala Gossip Girl style. (We rewind and rewatch the romantic parts of GG. :D)

(after TK's amazing goal--to preface, we have a joke about TK, who dated a high school friend of mine and she dumped him. We joke that if he does well in a game, she'll get back together with him. Our chant whenever he gets the puck is "DO IT FOR BRITTNEY!" To the point:)
Me: BRITTNEY WILL BE WAITING IN THE LOCKER ROOM, READY TO RECONCILE.
Bess: *puts it up as her status*
Brittney: Do you think you could tell Bess Ruzich to take down her status? I don't need any more rumors starting.
Me: WHOOPS.

:D

So many GOOD THINGS.

Yesterday was a fantastic day.

I had an eight-hour shift yesterday (8 AM-4 PM) that was made far more bearable by the presence of John, who came in at about 10:20 AM and stayed with me until my shift ended (although he was originally supposed to go visit a friend in Columbia who unfortunately [for her] took ill), and ended up hanging out with me until about midnight, even suffering through my screaming-jumping-freaking out antics during the Pens game. :P We WOOOOOOON!!!! :D

It's so funny--we've only hung out for about four days together, but we click SO WELL it's insane! It was a huge get-to-know-you-fest yesterday, ranging from our families to our favorite Disney princes (the Beast, doy, and you'll be getting a dissertation on that at some point).

(BTW, there are some adorable British accents happening in front of the Gateway desk right now. :D)

ANYWAY, it was a wonderful time, and we got dinner, and he looked through my book and apparently liked it a lot (yay!). I have to say, he's been so unbelievably complimentary of me. I mean, the things he's saying are simple, and they sound like I might've heard them before, but his sincerity blows me away. Example: I've said before that we have this inside joke about how he describes me as 'Belle' to his friends. Yesterday he also commented that in the movie 'Life is Beautiful', the main character greets his love interest every day by saying "Bon giorno, principessa'--he said that reminded him of me, since we met properly in Italy, and I'm a Disney Princess. :P And THEN, when I tell him how flattered I am that he has all of these sweet associations for me, he doesn't even take credit! "It's all you!" :D

So, enough gushing out of me.

...

:D


I have a date tonight, with Mark. I'm not building up any kind of expectations. I hope I have a good time, but I'm not going to force anything.

I guess a potentially awkward date with a stranger is a bit lackluster in comparison with the kind of day I had yesterday. :/ I mean, I'm totally excited about the cool things happening in my life! I guess I just don't want to let myself decide anything one way or another yet. It's ironic--when nothing is happening, I overanalyze everything, but when there's a lot going on, I'm doing my best (at least now) to SLOW the EFF down.

Whew.

In funnier news for me, Lacie is even more balls-out insane than I originally thought, and has shed every ideal she ever held in favor of some wacky, 'liberated' existance. There's so much more, but it isn't worth typing out. I'm investigating it personally, anyway. :P

Sigh. Okay, I'm done. I was shocked at first, but now I'm just laughing! How much can a person eff their own life? She's made it an art.

But let's not concentrate on that. I won that pretty eBay dress! :D It should be here within ten days! And I got a bustier to wear with it, as it is strapless, and I don't think a regular old strapless bra is going to cut it. But, yay for pretty dresses!

I'm having a good time. Scary, but good. :)

Love you all!

-A.

For those of you who were wondering why I changed the URL...

Marla knows. The secret somehow got to a friend of Marla's--a MICA girl--via my blog. This is a mystery I don't quite understand, because the girl would've had to get it from our mutual work computer at MICA, and it's been two weeks since we left MD, meaning this girl either A) magically acquired the URL on her own on Thursday or B) has been reading it for awhile since Fall semester and decided to wait it out instead of tell Marla right away. Either way: shady. Marla is in NYC with this girl right now, and she told Marla on Thursday.

So, she's furious, naturally. Hurt, upset, and insulted.

I am deeply sorry that I hurt her, of course. That was the LAST thing we wanted, obviously, because we kept it on the DL. I get the feeling that Marla thinks we were laughing at her behind her back somehow--like, "Oh, look how dumb she is, haha", which was NOT the case, as you all know. Our only concern was about her feelings, because we knew that, for some reason, she was very not okay with the idea of us getting together in ANY way. Robin said she was almost more mad that it was me he got together with than the fact that we lied. (ETA: Upon their second conversation, Robin says that she seemed more upset about the lying, which is a relief, in the sense that she's being rational and not just passionate.)

I'm conflicted. I mean, of course I'm horrified that I hurt her. I never intended it to go this way, and we probably shouldn't have lied. That was where we were wrong--the lying.

But truthfully, after Marla was the one who initiated the break-up talk, and now that's it's been over 6 months and she's been dating other people--well, it's not her place to tell us whether or not we can see each other, and it's not her place to be mad that we got together. It's not like I helped Robin cheat, it's not like he dumped her for me, and it's not like this was a weird rebound thing a week after they broke up. But of course, I can't say this.

Yes, I knew Marla would be mad. She'd made me aware of how she would feel if it were to happen. Maybe I should have been more loyal, I don't know. But what I do know is that I don't regret a second of the time I spent with Robin. This drama may be undesirable, but it is worth it ten times over. I care about him a lot, and I don't think either of us are sorry for the closeness we've shared.

Of course, Marla would punch us in the soul if she heard that, so we're downplaying it to "we just kissed from time-to-time" status. Maybe we should just come out and say it, but at this point, we're salvaging the friendship as best we can.

So, disloyal friend and dirty mistress I remain until further notice. :P

Love,

-A.

P.S. I'll try and update about New Year's in the next day or so. :)

Ripped from LJ, because it was too coincidental. (Ha.)

For those of you who don't/haven't used Livejournal, there's a widget called "Writer's Block" that pops up with a new question everyday to write about. This was today's:

Whether you believe in the paranormal or not, you've probably experienced something that you couldn't explain. What was it?

I guess I never like using the word 'paranormal'. Isn't that weird? I like 'supernatural' much better, because it suggests that all of those unexplainable, miraculous, scary things run parallel to and add to what we already know to be (ha) natural.

Oddly enough, the things I find unexplainable are not unsettling. Well, okay, that's a lie, but they don't make me feel insecure. They're little things--coincidences, I guess a lot of people would mark them as. Like, whenever someone pauses in a sentence, I know what word they'll use next, 99% of the time. Maybe that's just me reading people well, and I can let that go.

Being a Christian, I believe in all kinds of unexplainable things. And, the hints I see that reassure me are unexplainable themselves. Drea and I were just talking about the supernatural side of faith last night, then--ta da!--a question about supernatural phenomena pops up on LJ. The perfection of snowflakes (Cheesy, but they are too...too PERFECT to be an accident). Cross-shaped proteins holding our cells together--you know, little things. The little ways that turn into big ways that God is in control of my life, because I let him. This whole Italy trip wasn't possible because of anything I did, aside from filling out some forms. The finances, my fellow travelers, the obstacles and how they were cleared--that was entirely God. And it's impossible to explain. I can only list the ways and let you decide.

On the sillier end, my mom was in an Oscar pool in 2005, and the bonus question was "What color dress will Hilary Swank be wearing?" I guess Mom just asked whoever was in the house, and I remember saying, specifically, "Navy." Naturally, Mom laughed and was like "Navy? Why?" And I just said, calmly, "Because she looks good in navy."

I didn't watch the red carpet part, but I remember Mom SCREAMING: "SHE'S WEARING NAVY! HOW DID YOU KNOW?!" I just knew. :P It's silly, but a little strange all the same.

Maybe I'm psychic when it comes to Oscar gowns! ;P

Love,

A.

OKAY SERIOUSLY.

Chase just texted me. Just 'Hello'. It's 2 AM. This is real-time updating.

Him: Hello.
Me: Hi. (WTF?!)
Him: What are you up to?
Me: Working a grave. Can I help you?
Him: I got your letter.
Me: I figured.
Him: Yeah, it was severe.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I hurt your feelings? (SERIOUSLY.)
Him: No, but it was clear enough.
Me: Did you have something to say in response?
Him: What can I say?
Me: Well, you obviously had something in mind or else you wouldn't be texting me.
Him: Not so. (SRSLY.)
Me: Then why did you text? Just to confirm that you got the letter?
Him: Just my respectful nature. (SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!)
Him: Yeah, it was quicker than a letter back that I know you wanted.
Me: Honestly, Chase, I wasn't counting on a response. I think I was concise. Did you find room for much argument?
Him: Tons.
Me: Oh, do tell. (Of course he wants the fucking last word.)
Him: Yeah, I shouldn't have said a few things and I'm sorry I did.


Okay, he called. This is great.

So he was wishy-washy at first, talking about my 'severe' letter, and calling it 'rude', but when I finally pinned him down to answer specifics, he backed down and said I was right and very fair in the letter. Surprise, surprise. We talked about my grieving process and his progress with Alli (which has basically been this: "I love you." "Oh, I'm not actually sure. I have a few other boyfriends right over there." "Okay, I'll wait patiently like that puppy dog I've always been." Apparently their short-term goal is to start dating. Rather, HIS short-term goal. And THAT is what he left me for.)

The whole conversation was a lot of talking in circles about my being hurt, and him sounding like he felt pretty guilty. I hope he does. He was careless and indelicate. I told him so. And he seemed to agree. He was taken aback, I think, by my willingness to wish him luck with Alli. Honestly, if he's willing to stand around and wait for her attention-whoring self, then they deserve each other. It's Paul Jeffe and Liz Hays all over again. Sheesh. Our call got cut off thanks to his shitty phone battery. I don't know if he intends to call me back tomorrow, but it doesn't make that much of a difference.

Weirdly enough, he texted as I started to read all the entries that he's tagged in here.

Honestly, I forgive Chase, but it stuns me that he's choosing this. Well, I guess if this is what he wants, I'm okay with letting him take it.

All right, that's enough of that. *dusts off hands*

Love you all, muah!

-Alyssa

Today in Cafe Doris...

I saw a girl wearing electric blue lamé leggings, a striped bikini top and what looked like an American flag draped around her neck. Even for art school: What the eff?

Not much to report, other than that my mom didn't turn in her W-2s which means Financial Aid won't process my account which means Student Accounts won't sign my SACI application which means my SACI application didn't get in on time to be considered for a SACI scholarship. Granted, it was unlikely that out of the however many students that apply, I would get much, if anything, but I'd rather be considered and not get it, then not get it because I didn't get the chance to be considered. Ah well, two more weeks 'til the final deadline.

I miss you guys! And you know what, we need to hug more often/be more physically affectionate with each other. We don't snuggle enough! :P (Aren't you glad we've already parted for the year so I can't put this in effect immediately? :P)

I've been giving an unusual amount of thought to my eventual wedding party. Once again, DON'T PANIC, but the bridesmaid dress problem is one I feel the need to apply myself to. Weird.

Love ya/Miss ya/Want ya,

Alyssa

Time is going so fast, and SO SLOW.

So fast because there's a month left before we all split up again--we have less than three weeks together before school--and slow because you guys aren't home yet!

We have to stretch the time we have together out as far as we can. I don't care if I sleep in that time, I just want to spend time with all of you.

Lacie and Brian broke up, and I'm semi-avoiding Lacie right now. She apparently took it well, but I just want this to be over. That's another reason time is going so slowly. I can't get away from this situation quickly enough.

It's like, I can't even pinpoint why I'm mad. I'm furious with her, but why? I can't articulate it. I'm mad because she's crazy. That sounds ridiculous! I'm mad because she doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut. I'm mad because she wants everyone to tell her what to do and how to get better, but she wants to do it on her own terms. She wants help and she doesn't. A great deal of her revels in her Crazy. I'm mad because she's selfish, but she pretends she's not. I'm mad because she disappears. I'm mad because she's so damn put-upon. I'm mad because she thinks she's Cinderella. I'm mad because, as well as she's doing physically, she's so far gone mentally, I can't even know what will happen when she moves in with Rachel. I'm mad because she's going to live with Rachel. I'm mad that she won't listen to me, but is constantly after my counsel. I'm mad because she doesn't REALLY want to hear my thoughts, she just wants me to agree with her when she says Abby Maurice is going to steal Brian or whatever bullshit she's come up with. I'm mad because I think she's lying to me.

I'm also mad at myself because I think she's lying. I feel terrible because no one would/should lie about what I think she is lying about.

I'm also mad that I've been alone all summer. I'm not mad at any of you--I love you, and we all have lives, naturally. But I've been so unbelievably lonely and stressed out. I'm constantly on the verge of tears. This is the third time I've cried today (Although I could attribute this to my period). Last night I hung out with Brian and three of "Lauren's Friends", sans-Lauren, and it was the most fun I've had since you guys left. I ESCAPE to work. I only feel calm in my house when I'm alone in it.

I don't feel like I'm being taken care of by the people that are available to me. I'm not being taken care of by my friends or my family. I'm being taken care of by my co-workers, and my sister's friends, and my friend's now ex-boyfriend.

I'm so sad, and I don't know how not to be right now, and that's so scary to me. You guys know I'm not a sad person. You guys know me better than anyone right now. I just want to be with you, and be away from all of this Crazy. My mom's Crazy, my sister's Crazy, Lacie's Crazy, lonely Crazy. Even my own Crazy. I feel like I'm going crazy on my own here. Thank God we live in modern civilization with phones and blogs so I can keep myself anchored to you all, but MAN, has this been challenging.

You know, this was going to be an excited blog? I am so excited about you guys coming home, and look what it deteriorated into! Some dramatic blogging by yours truly. :P

I hate to be this heavy. You guys know how much I love to be upbeat and everything. And I am okay--I will be fine! Promise! Hurry back! :D

Love,
Alyssa

And the crazy re-emerges...

Lacie is in my kitchen preparing a bake sale.

Yes, a bake sale.

WHAT THE EFF.

What goes on in her mind?! It's like she thinks she's a Disney Princess or something, and all the bunnies and squirrels will help her get out of this rut that nature has dealt her (and not herself, of course). She thinks she's freaking put-upon Cinderella.

I start Chico's today--I'll update later and tell you how it goes.

Muah,

Alyssa

I'm so furious right now.

As those of you closest to me know, Lacie (the subject of my angry-ranty-metaphor-post) has been living with me and my family for the past few days, due to an unfortunate incident regarding her parents. That incident being, they are shit at being parents. Me and my mom took her into my home and I'm glad I could be there for her.

Unfortunately, I've had to work, and it's hard to engage with Lacie's issues 24 hours a day. Yesterday, Lauren had the good grace to bestow on me her opinion that it seems like I don't care about Lacie and her numerous plights, and that I haven't been spending enough time with her.

After putting my eyes back in my head/reattaching my jawbone, I calmly told Lauren that that was her opinion, and she was entitled to it, and moved on, although it stung.

Today, I was reading about some horrible tragedies regarding sexual assault in the newspaper. I shared my horror with Lacie and Lauren, and for some reason, Lacie didn't think I was being sincere in my feelings about the crimes. In fact, she told me I took sexual assault too lightly, and that I didn't realize they were real people that actually went through these crimes. She told me I just read about it and went along like it didn't. I told her that she was mistaken, I do take it seriously, but I can't change the past, and I don't intend to dwell on it.

She went on to say (yell) that these things happen every day, but we don't need to bring them up and talk about them. (WTF?) I replied that we can't ignore that they happened, and that I was sorry for upsetting her. She said 'Sorry' back, and I said 'Good', and I walked out, because if I had spent one more second with her, she wouldn't have had a head anymore.

Maybe I expect too much from someone living as outside of reality as she is, but after all I've done for her--taken on her burdens, opened my heart and my home, fielded insane phone calls--she baldly accuses me of not caring about people in those kinds of situations.

In my opinion, she has equated herself with other victims, and has deluded herself into thinking that I don't care about her situation. It's manipulative and insulting. I'm all she has and all she has shown me is ingratitude and disrespect.

This is like being hit with a brick, and I'm not about to sit here and take it like a good little mute. She is out of line and I intend to tell her so.