ENGAGED WOOOOO!!!!!

As most of you already know, John and I got engaged this past weekend at the end of my week-long visit. It was wonderful and awesome, and I will describe the whole experience, but I'm in the process of creating an engagement/wedding blog now, apart from my personal one. I'll still update this one, but I'll be using the wedding one for wedding details/inspiration/musing. Once I get it up and running, my first post will be all about the engagement, and I'll link you right over.

ETA: Here you go! Up and running!

But, I CAN describe the trip in the meantime. Mom and I headed out to Maryland with Robert and KJ on May 28th so I could complete my move, pay my landlord (yay!), and meet up with John. John drove down from New Jersey to help me move out, and to attend my godmother's daughter Mary's graduation from the Naval Academy.

Here's us, with Mary in her dress whites, now an Ensign! The graduation was long (we had to be in the DOOR by 9 after standing outside in line for more than a half-hour), but the weather was PERFECT (although John and I got a teensy bit sunburned). Mary's party was afterwards, and I got to meet her handsome boyfriend Van Gordon (just a nickname--he goes by Gordon).

John and I headed up to Gambrills to his aunt and uncle's place after the party and spent the night there--Richie and Mandee surprised us by coming by the next day. I've written about them: Richie is John's cousin who also attends the Naval Academy, and Mandee is his gorgeous fiancée. They're a year younger than we are, and got engaged in July of 2009, but that's only because they wanted to make sure all of the midshipmen could attend the wedding before getting shipped out to their assignments a month after graduation. And since you can't get married while you're enrolled in the Naval Academy, they scheduled the wedding for one week after Richie's graduation. Intense!

So we visited briefly with them and got on the road to New Jersey, where we spent the night at John's best friend Dave's and met a few of his friends. we went out to the beach for about twenty minutes that night--it was gorgeous, even if it was chilly. Looking at the ocean in the dark is scary, but it's exciting. We went back to Cranford, John's hometown, the next day and then to John's OTHER aunt and uncle's place about an hour away for dinner and, the following day, a Memorial Day picnic. Lots of cute babies running around, throwing Cheerios at the Koi pond. :)

We met up with another one of John's close friends, Brian (or B. Ho, as I've tagged him here before) and drove to a pier on the seaside where we had an awesome lunch at a restaurant that I sadly can't remember the name of (they had this specialty butter made with garlic, oregano, dill, salt, and pepper, and maybe paprika? It was SO GOOD). We also introduced him to Wizard People, Dear Reader, which, if you're a Harry Potter fan and you haven't seen it, you should do that ASAP.

The rest of the week was basically spent hanging out and watching back Doctor Who episodes to get me caught up (we finished the whole first season) until Saturday, when set-up for John's grad party when into overdrive. The whole day was spent moving/cooking/assembling/rummaging through the garage to find every little thing necessary for the celebration, which came together without a hitch. Even better, I got to see a bunch of John's friends that I haven't seen in months, like Tracey and Marie (more on her in a moment), and John even surprised me with the awesome Colin M. Ford, who came all the way from Baltimore for the party! It was an awesome time, and I'm so glad I was there.

There was one person in John's life who did NOT attend, but that's mostly because she wasn't invited, and she isn't technically in John's life anymore. John's ex, Christine (tagged 'X'--which they actually call her, along the lines of 'Xmas') has been making things plenty weird for those of John's friends who are still in touch with him. I'd spoken to one of her close friends, Kim, in the past, who confirmed that Christine has brought me up, at least, and the fact that she's uncomfortable with Kim and I being friends (jerk). Dave also told us that X called him right before our graduation and asked him "Why did John cut me out of his life?" (never mind that she was the one to unfriend us on Facebook three months ago), "Why doesn't he like me anymore?" Sigh. Because you broke up TWO YEARS AGO. She has a boyfriend, too--sure, he looks like a potato, but they've been together almost as long as John and I have, and it's just not fair to him.

Now, at the party, Marie indicated that as soon as Christine found out about John's grad party (through me, actually--I asked Marie on her wall if she was coming--I didn't really think about Christine and Marie still being friends), Christine started calling and texting Marie after about a year of not doing anything of the kind. Obviously Marie knew what was up, so she didn't bother to return the messages--one particular voicemail was Christine saying that she "wants [Marie's] opinion on something that's been tormenting [her] for awhile". SIGH.

Marie eventually got it out of her in text--X was confused about John: first he "chews [her] out" via Facebook message (which he did, but only to tell her to stop being so desperate and weird and start treating him like a friend, NOT like an ex), and then he acts all interested in her life again! (AKA, he sent her a Happy Birthday message nearly SIX months after the initial "chewing out".) This girl. She is just so in love with John STILL--which I really can't blame her for entirely, John is a lot to lose--but it's been two years, she's had other boyfriends/hookups, she's IN A RELATIONSHIP, and still pining. It's unhealthy and weird.

I would have absolutely no issues with John and Christine being friends. Zero. If she could just stop acting like a stalker, we'd be good to go.

After the party, Tracey and Marie and a bunch of cousins and aunts and uncles stayed over, and that was the night John proposed. :D More on that another time.

The following day was all celebration and a lot of driving. We went to a wonderful church that morning, and packed up our stuff and got on the road to Pittsburgh, which is when I found out that Marie had sent Christine a looooong message, basically telling X how much she was missing out on by being so weird to John and I. It was very straightforward and mature. I was super-impressed with Marie. Hopefully Christine doesn't take it the wrong way--but that's pretty inevitable, I'd say.

So, we get back to Pittsburgh and I am TERRIFIED, but manage to tell my mom and Robert and KJ about the engagement--Mom reacted pretty well, although she's been sort of tense around us for the past couple of days. I called Lauren and Dad and told them, too--Lauren sounded positively disgusted on the phone: "ARE YOU SERIOUS? With, like, a RING?" (Imagine the word 'Ew' hanging unspoken after that sentence, and you can picture her tone. :P) We also told Joey V. and the Ruzichs, who were very excited for us. Telling people is the best part. :)

So, families and close (in proximity) friends aside, we told Facebook Monday morning, and have gotten a pretty steady stream of positive comments. Let me tell those of you reading that we are not getting married for close to two years--we're not jumping into anything here, despite popular opinion. Have faith in us!

So now we're home, and having lunch with my mom's parents today before John drives back to New Jersey. :((((((

I hope you're all having as good of a week as I've been! So much love to all of you!

-A.

From one of John's wonderful UK friends:

"Hello US John! How are you? Just had to email you to say that your girlfriend is beautiful! Much love from across the pond xx"

Things like that light up the dark places. :)

Race Relations in the Religious (and Mostly Political) Community

This past Sunday, John, Emily, and I got up early and went to a panel of church members talking about the issues of race relations that were raised in church last week (I covered them here). The panel consisted of:

A 60 year-old black man.

A white girl in her late 20s/early 30s.

A Korean-American boy in his 20s.

A black man, born and raised in Ghana, in his 30s.

A biracial woman (very light-skinned), married to the Ghanian, in her late 20s/early 30s.

A biracial woman (medium-skinned) of about 60.

I thought this was a really interesting group, and I was surprised by some things I heard, and very unsurprised by others.

The panel went in the order I put above--the 60 year-old man described his youth before the civil rights movement, described being envious of a biracial friend who could pass as white and swim in the white pool. He took plenty of pot-shots at the 'evangelical right', implying a racist attitude towards Obama by indicating that only a racist would vote for a Palin ticket. Later, he admitted that the fact that Obama, being biracial, had taken a black wife meant a lot to the black community--he admitted that if Michelle Obama were white, he would be treated differently by blacks.

The white girl had nothing that important to add (unsurprisingly), but she managed to make herself look pretty dumb by talking about how special other races had it for being called "Latin-American" or "African-American" or "Asian-American", while whites are just, well, "White". SIIIIIGH. She mentioned the 'privilege' of being taught by teachers who wanted to see Dr. King's dream through--I agree with her sentiment, but she misspoke. It's not a privilege. It's the way things are meant to be.

She also indicated that whites should make more of an effort to understand the other races and cultures around them. I appreciate her meaning, but why is it the whites' responsibility alone? Because whites are the only ones that "don't understand"? If we're trying to spread peace and understanding, we should all be learning about each other, regardless of culture. Either way, I'm more inclined to look at people as individuals.

The Korean boy was the one that made the most sense to me in a lot of ways--he actually approached the subject from a Christian perspective, which none of the other panelists did. He acknowledged that we should treat President Obama as a brother-in-Christ, and pray for him no matter our politics. He also made the very important mention of Obama's campaign, run on the concept of faith and being a 'messiah' and 'savior'. "Obama is not our savior," he said seriously. "We know our savior is Jesus." Amen to that.

The biracial woman and her Ghanian husband both talked about reverse-racism--the woman suffers it at the hands of the Baltimore community. Her father is black, but she easily passes for white. She doesn't get the "How you doin'" that indicates the bond of being black when she walks down the street. Her husband echoed this--when he first came to the US, his black classmates criticized him for acting "so white". The only thing that irked me about their testimonies was the woman's hope that one day a black president with a black upbringing will be elected, "a black president who night not speak the way Obama does." What I take from this is that she means "speaks like a black man", maybe she means using ebonics, etc. This really frustrates me. Anyone who speaks that way sounds uneducated. Anyone could (and has) said the same thing about a Southern twang, haven't they, in the cases of Clinton and Bush?

The last panelist, the 60 year-old biracial woman, shocked me (and everyone, I think) with her response. She admitted how scared and uncomfortable she was to do the panel, and how hard it was for her to go up and say that she didn't vote for Obama.

I know, I was stunned, too.

She was moved to tears by this. She didn't talk for long--just indicated her fear and how alienated she felt from her peers, from everyone. :(

After the panel was over, I went over to the woman and assured her that I understood her position (being a conservative at MICA, or in my age group at all is practically a felony)--John backed me up, and she was really gracious and offered us her card. Her name is Carol, and she works at Hopkins in the Art Applied to Medicine program. What a dear. :) And brave. I've already felt the pressure of not voting for Obama at my age--can you imagine the pressure of not voting from your own RACE? Carol told us about a co-worker who'd said, "But he's biracial too--you have something in common!" She nodded fervently when I said (rather incredulously), "IT DOESN'T MATTER!" People, people.

It was a positive experience, and John and I may go back next week (if we're not still in Sewickley) for the youth panel.

In other news, I asked Facebook for some advice about my wisdom tooth extraction (my consultation appointment is on March 29th--so far away! I'm in pain!). I got some interesting responses:

Love you all--hope you had a good weekend!
-A.

My Family is Embarrassing. (But also hilarious.)

(We were talking on Facebook about my teacher Dan Krall.)

Mom: Good teacher.

Alyssa: Yeah, I love him. I took this class so I could have him again before I graduated. He taught me my 2nd year, and I got SO much better under him.

Mom: teehee 'have' him

Mom: tee hee 'under him'

@@@

(To explain, I did the 'Top 5' thing on Facebook where you can select who would play you, your love interest, etc. in a movie about your life. I chose Joaquin Phoenix as the love interest because John resembles him. I should also say Lauren kept a photo of River Phoenix hanging in our room from when she was 14 to when she graduated from high school. Lauren chose to comment on this post.)

Lauren: joaquin phoenix? seriously.

Alyssa: Seriously. What's the problem with that?

Lauren: like. anyone in the world? and you picked joaquin phoenix?

Alyssa: Hahaha. Lauren. I chose him because he looks like John. Doof. :P

Lauren: ohhh. i see i see. but still. JOAQUIN PHOENIX!?

Alyssa: Actually, before he got all gross and had a career as a rapper, I was totally into Joaquin. Joaquin>River.(And Joaquin cleaned up recently, too.)

Lauren: WOAHHHHHHHHHHH JOAQUIN<<<<<< River. River was the fuckin' shit and I will not tolerate any disrespect to his memory.

Past, Present, Future.

I've been realizing lately that I've been so excited about the future and graduation and starting a life for myself, it's been hard to concentrate on the present. I have to say, I'm amazed that I've found any motivation to push through the work I have left.

I suppose I just reorganized my mind to think "You can have this awesome thing, but you have to do this, this, and this first." I'm still a procrastinator (of course), but I'm getting a lot done anyway.

I just need to pay attention to the extras--updating my art blog, etc.

I don't have class until 7 pm tonight, and I have to say, I am very glad about that. I have some thesis work TO DO. I SHOULD have started almost an hour ago, but I'd rather update you all. :)

I should do something before I meet John for lunch. Love you all!

-A.

(BTW: Apparently it's doppelganger week on Facebook! Change your profile picture to a someone you've been told you resemble. I put Anne Hathaway. Doy.)

Chit-Chat.

It seems like I've been immersed in unusual talks with unusual people lately--Lacie and I reconnected recently in Facebook messages. Not with any overt affection on my part, although it is good to hear that she's doing better. It's nostalgic, but I have no intention of bringing our friendship back to what it once was.

On the flip side, John's ex, Christine, has been making a serious effort to do...SOMETHING I can't put my finger on. Just being nebby. A mutual friend says, "She's just jealous and wants to know what's going on." (As if I'd tell her.) Lacie summed up the situation from Christine's point-of-view rather well, actually: "Hey, I know you have something to do with my ex-boyfriend--comparing you to me, you're not totally ugly and that threatens me so let me befriend you as to assure myself that I am, in some way, better than you and can come to terms with the fact that you are in the picture."

Either way, it's been amusing, but annoying and pathetic. Time to move on (although she apparently has a new boyfriend). Today is dedicated to working that out. Wish us luck!

Otherwise, the play is going very well (November 13th and 14th if you can make it!), things with work are slow (on my part), but good, and I'm so unbelievably happy with John I can't even express it. :D On that note, I'm going to New Jersey to spend Thanksgiving with John and his family, so I won't see you Sewickley people! :( BUT, I'll be bringing John back with me for the first part of Winter Break so you all can meet him! Excitement!

I've even been hearing from some of you, which is great! (Em, I'll call again today.) Drea! Where are you, dear?!

ALSO. Hilarious news. Drea C. won a beauty pageant representing my birthplace of Reading, PA. I guess getting discovered on her own wasn't enough, so she's going for Miss America! Hysterical! Check it out here.

John gets home today from a weekend visit to his family! Yay! :) Then play practice, then actual work.

Muah--

Love,

-A.

The Exception to the Rule.

Before I dive in to the point of my title, Ben came to visit yesterday and stayed the night. I owe a lot to Ben for his (baldly honest) insight into my personality. It's always a pleasure to hang out with him and especially to confide in him, because when we move past the snark and the disagreements and psychoanalysis and I just need a hug, he's always there for me 100%, on my terms. (Mostly. :P) It means a lot. Thank you, Ben. :)

(Also, did I not say Gossip Girl is amazing? Told you! :P)

I got a message from Marla today, requesting that I remove from Facebook the photos Betsy took of me in the corset Marla made. Apparently, asking me to remove them has everything to do with her wanting to preserve the artistic integrity of her "creative content" (the corset--as opposed to the images, which are rightfully Betsy's), and nothing to do with the fact that she probably sent me those nasty Honesty Box messages. (After all, I had those photos up for two weeks and she didn't say a word until my second response to the HB messages.) I'm not certain, but then again, I don't know anyone else who uses the word "rather" on a daily basis. I removed the photos, obviously. No need to start a fight. But, I did add in my return message that I hate how things have ended up between us.

Betsy and I had a girl's day, starting with shopping and culminating in eating candy and watching "He's Just Not That Into You", which I enjoyed far, far more than I expected. Now, I don't want to spoil a thing, BUT, there's a particular emphasis on the Rules of dating and the Exceptions. Like, the guy will call if he wants to be with you is a Rule. Or, he finally calls after a month and you end up happily ever after? Exception.

As I've said before, I've absolutely had my moments with boys where I over-analyze and mistake his intentions or feelings. Some not so serious, some heart-breaking. We all do it. We've all been on the other side as well. I've been more present to it in the last two weeks than I have in a while.

To be fair, it is a romantic comedy, and there were happy endings. BUT, people end up single. I was impressed at the honesty, despite the character exaggerations. The happy endings were wonderful and totally made me cry. They weren't altogether shocking, but just enough of a romantic twist to make me literally cry out with something like joy at the TV. :) It's one of my favorite things about romantic comedies, and also one of my least favorite.

We all want to be the Exception to the Rule, on some level. But, I think, what I want more than the thrill and drama of being The One to Change Him, is to be...happy. I would love that grand romantic gesture after all the struggle, but I'd prefer to work through the struggle from the start. It's like a song you might know: "I'd rather be working for a paycheck then waiting to win the lottery." I want romance and wonder and that thrill in my gut when He Finally Gets It. But why would I wait for a man that doesn't want me from the start? It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

All of that aside, after watching a movie like that, I'm just ready to be in love. :P Because I am a girl who loves seeing joy.

Love you all!

-A.

P.S. Let's Go Pens! We've got a big game ahead of us!

Why I Love Brian/Kevin (and everyone else who's been saying it!). Part 8.

Brian: btw, are you also seeing Luke and Matthew?


ETA:

Me: Mark: ah cool, were you able to comfort kevin last night after i left? lol--hi kevin

Brian: hahahahaha please start calling me kevin

Brian's Status: Call me Kevin.

Me: larissa (Brian's nickname for me) and kevin

Brian: paintin the town red

ETA2:

Me: aw, bri, can you just narrate my life

Brian: of course i can: "in a world of sex drugs and intrigue... lives alyssa devlin... watch her this summer in... ATTACK OF THE HONESTY BOX"

Kevin's on a roll! :P

Venom, continued.

"my point exactly, sweetheart. you are so blinded by some deep seated need to make up for some (unknown to me) insecurities that you are unable to let my previous criticisms slide. you felt the need to write back to me, proving further your obsession with preserving your self image. i feel like it was not meant to put me in my place, rather, to reaffirm to yourself that you are in fact the person you see yourself as.

if you didn't want people to say these things to you, for reasons of flattery, or simply to incite a little drama, you wouldn't have an honesty box in the first place. i'm not going to offer anymore criticism, but i can assure you that your response affirmed my assumptions about you."

WOW, really?

This is as haughty a response as any this person expected out of me, and yet I'M the one with the over-confidence/insecurity issues.

I responded:

"Well, I have to say you're mistaken--my response was intended, partly to 'put you in your place', as you say, and partly borne of true curiosity. Your venom is so obvious, I sincerely wondered where you got the impression of me that you did, because I have an arsenal of people with the exact opposite impression of me.

I'm the first person to admit that I like to be approved of (who wants people to dislike them?), but I'm also the first person to admit where I'm flawed and insecure--for instance, I know I get nervous about my thesis and keeping up with work and the prospect of failing. But I have a strong sense of self, and I'd say that threatens people who have the sort of insecurities you claim I have.

And truly, you expected and relished my response, I'm sure. As for the reasons why I have an honesty box, who doesn't want to be secretly flattered? What's your excuse for having one? So you can spew your ire on unsuspecting 'friends' under the safe cover of your computer, even hiding your gender?

Also, you're not helping your own argument, considering you said yourself that you only 'assumed' these things about me. It's short-sighted that you wouldn't even get to know me first before writing me off."

UGH. Anyway.

I watched the Pens game with Mark this evening (HOLY EFF 5-0 shut out--Pens, you're killing me. D: But I have faith) and then he took me out for ice cream to cheer me up. :) And he was charming and sweet and funny and invited me up to meet his cousin and some friends soon and was patient when some drama arose with Brian that I had to help with. And we kissed. (Finally.)

It was easy to sit in traffic with him coming back from dessert and just hold his hand and listen to music (we have similar tastes) and smile. It would be easy to like him.

It's easy to be with both of them. :/

ANYWAY, Ben is coming to visit tomorrow evening! It'll be nice to catch up.

Love you all--good night!

-A.

P.S.
Robin: of course my primary concern in this matter is your happiness

Alyssa: :D thanks, sweet

Robin: but of course, my secondary concern in this matter is MY happiness, and who would be more fun for ME to hang out with while hanging out with you and your boyfriend

Ah, isn't this amazing?

Picture this.

Betsy, John and I are sitting in the living room finishing dinner--John and I made rotelli and I cobbled together some sauce. Betsy then went to get a few things at the supermarket, leaving John and I alone on the couch. Something to know about John is he personalizes ringtones for his close friends, and told me that he chose one for me--we decide to make it a surprise, although I can guess what he chose.

So, as we've done for the past week or so, we talk about the crazy situation we find ourselves in! John is, as usual, selfless and supportive and it's amazing. He jokes that the ringtone he chose was pertinent, and at that point (you all know me), I had to know what he chose. And, the exchange:

John: I chose the part in "Belle" (from Beauty and the Beast, doy) when she's sitting on the fountain. (In case you guys forget the lyrics to that, here you go: "Ah, isn't this amazing? It's my favorite part because, you see--here's where she meets Prince Charming, but she won't discover that it's him 'til Chapter Three!")

Me: I love that part! :D

John: Well...I can wait 'til Chapter Three.

...


...


(Let that sink in.)

Me: 8( ) <---*jaw-dropping, eye-bulging* That was the PERFECT THING TO SAY. *stutters for about five minutes* I-I-um. Wow. I-jeez! Did you think of that earlier?

John: *looking surprised at himself* No, just now.

Me: 8( ) WOW. Okay...okay.

So, as you can see, this is awesome. Storybooks are written about boys like John who say those things that don't even seem like they could be real. And, I must say, he knows exactly how to put his arms around a girl. When he hugged me goodbye last night, his hands just found the right place on my back that made me feel really feminine and safe. :) Betsy observed that I have a glow around John.

But, as the complicated story goes, I have a date with Mark tonight. He called this morning and invited me to dinner before we watch the Pens game together. He invited Betsy as well, because he didn't want her to feel left out, and he was just so considerate on the phone. I'm looking forward to spending more time with Mark--I think tonight will be a good chance to be more casual with him. After all, we had the first date, then everything came out about John and me, then we watched Game 4 with Betsy, and a lot of discomfort has been overcome, but we haven't been in private since then. This week will be informative.

In other news, I spoke to Robin today and got a decent update about him (I really do miss just hanging out and joking around with him), and spoke to Joey V. yesterday and got a HUGE update about our old high school friends, and as usual, he was funny and supportive about my deal. I swear, we have so much fun together! :D And we're about to embark on a fun project together we've always meant to start, so I'm excited!

Things here are going well. :) The rest of my day will be spent cleaning up in the kitchen before tonight--I hope you all have a fantastic day! :)

Love,

-A.

P.S. Thanks to all of your who commented about the Honesty Box message I received--your support means everything! Love you.

I'd love to hear the Reader Commentary on this piece of DELICIOUS prose.

"have you ever taken a moment to step back and evaluate the degree to which you admire yourself? seriously, i write this out of concern. i think you overestimate how much people actually like you. get a grip sister. your self image isn't lacking, rather, it's overcompensating. self confidence is a good thing, don't get me wrong, but too much of it is unflattering to the point of being obnoxious."

This was delivered to my Honesty Box on Facebook this evening between 5 and 7. Betsy thinks it's someone who reads my blog--I can't say for sure; it could just be someone who has let their distaste for me build up for awhile and decided to unleash it anonymously.

It's *this* much hurtful, but THIS much hilarious and truly delightful! I almost want to shake their hand at this solid attempt to shake me. After all, there was forethought--"i think you overestimate how much people actually like you." This person wants to hurt me. It's almost cute.

It's an amazing twist, the balance between true "concern" (ha) and "get a grip, sister". I'm inclined to think it's a girl (what guy says 'get a grip, sister'?), but who knows?

It's someone who thinks I'm far too arrogant for my own good (I'm confident, I'll admit, and I do have my superior moments, but I think this person is taking it to a level it doesn't exist on), and they think I am only too glad to step all over people's toes to get my point across. It could be a true opinion, but the last thing they're doing is sending it to me out of 'concern'. It's a bit too harsh to be qualified as loving concern.

Any ideas?

Love you all--

-A.

ETA: Rebuttal? :)

While I appreciate the input, I have a hard time believing it comes from anywhere close to a place of concern. The phrases you chose were intended to cut deeply--and I felt them in some regard, don't you worry--and I can't write you off as just an acquaintance with a passing observation.

You know me. Closely enough that you probably shouldn't have to keep this anonymous. But for some reason, you find it appropriate to be venomous. It's almost flattering! I just wonder what your real problem is with me that you pointed out THIS 'concern', this flaw in me. What have I done to you in particular? Must've been good.

I am popular lately!

Since I returned to Baltimore, I have been chatted up by three different guys! Maybe four, but that remains to be seen.

The most recent was a guy named Mark--he graduated in '08 and built the sets for Good Thing, the play I stage managed last spring. We never really talked much during the show--although we got along well--and all of a sudden he contacts me on Facebook and invites me to dinner! I suspect it has something to do with the fact that my profile picture is me looking model-hot in a corset. (Sources also say he's only recently single out of a long-term relationship, so we'll see.)

Since he invited me in a message, I told him I can't accept online invites and gave him my number. I intend to accept if and when he calls. Why wouldn't I? :) He is really handsome--not my usual, much broader and muscular--and from our limited and past interaction, totally nice.

We'll see how it goes over!

In other news, Ben (Bennett) came over last night and we went out to dinner. It's refreshing to have a person like him around--he's unlike any friend I've ever had, which is both awesome and sort of annoying. :P But we get along well and he's fun to be around. It's also nice to have a friend I can kiss goodbye on the cheek without feeling weird about it. I've wanted that forever! Odd desire, I know.

Also, I had coffee with John on Tuesday (he's the 'maybe four' mentioned above) and WOW, do we hit it off every time we see each other! Even better, we got to talk about faith (conservative Christian, w00t!) and he was on my page, even finishing my sentences! Very, very, very nice. And it's pretty clear that we want to spend more time together--he invited me to Boston this weekend (!), but I had to work--sorry Drea! :((( And he also offered to drive from New Jersey to Baltimore to pick me up and take me BACK to New Jersey so I can see Harry Potter 6 with him and his friends (we are nerds. love it.)! Generous and cool. There's obviously a lot of affection on both sides in a short time, but I like it! He's a sweetheart.

WHAT IS MY LIFE?! Lauren must have inadvertently passed along her hotness!

So! Anyway, I saw Marla again today, and it's looking like she's decided that our tactic for the rest of forever will be Ignoring. Classic. So, that's where we are now.

ANYWAY, enough about my social calendar--no response from the Walters yet, affirmatively or negatively. But, they did send me an e-mail that the internship was intended for grad students, but they'd pass my resume on anyway. So, it's looking unlikely, but who knows? I have a lot of cool stuff behind me.

Hope you're all doing well! Love you--

-A.

HOLY SHIT IT'S APRIL.

Wow, guys. Two weeks and I'll be home with you! Can you believe it?!!!! I can't.

Not much new here, getting more work done on my comic, for sure! It's coming along really, really well, if I do say so myself.

David and I have been bonding awesomely! We get along so, so well, and we can talk about anything! It's been a huge relief to me--it's not that I don't feel comfortable talking to Mel or my roommates, but I guess I just feel like David is more sympathetic to me. We understand why the other is frustrated--we can level with each other without offering advice about how to react to something. I'll miss him!

Other than that, I've been thinking about classes for next semester, and enjoying the warmer weather--all standard positives!

I've been chatting with John on our Facebook wall about getting a few classes together next semester, and I got a really nice reply message from Casey (Robin's friend from high school, remember him from way back over Winter Break?), detailing how his semester is going. I messaged him back in January, and I was curious to see how he was doing--Casey and I got along really well, and I have to say, I want to keep hanging out with Robin's friends!

Emily--I found out my Painting Conservation final is this coming Thursday, and I'm supposed to come out to you on Wednesday. :/ I'm going to try and talk my teacher into letting me take it Wednesday morning, which would be IDEAL, because then all my written tests/shows would be out of the way, save my Etching finals, and I'll have another week to take care of that. :) I'll let you know how it goes down. Worst comes to worst, I'll have to come in on Thursday night. :((( Is that a super-issue?

Okay, I have to go, but I love you guys, and I miss you!

-A.

hm.

I don't actually know what I wanted to write here. :/

I guess it just wanted to update that I'm alive and I'm fine, just so everyone knows. :) E-mail or Facebook me if you want to talk--I don't hear from you guys enough! :P

Love you and miss you!

-A.

Ahhhh! March!

I know, only 47 days until I come hoooome! But then, most of you won't even be there, so add two weeks to that. :)

Melissa, Noel, and David are touring Southern Italy, Morgan is in Morocco, Sarah is in Paris, and Emma is in London, leaving me all by my lonesome in Florence until tomorrow night, when I head on out to Roma to meet up with Mel.

I've been semi-productive: I've been drawing a lot, bought my train ticket, got my loan in. Little stuff like that. Caught up a little on The Office. :P I finally went to the Uffizi. It was amazing. The Botticelli room was GORGEOUS. It was just, so, so cool to see these things in person that I've seen in books a million times. :) I just wish it hadn't been so crowded. :(((

Got to Skype with Robin yesterday for the first time in a couple weeks. That was so nice--I sort of underestimated how much I missed talking to him. :D Emily, too! She's coming to visit in April, and I'm so excited! Yay! :DDD

Today I'm finishing a printmaking final, then going home and drawing/laundry/dishes, then going out for pancakes, then more drawing! :) Yay, leisure!

Also, I heard that Chase quit his job over Alli, the girl he dumped me for. Part of me feels bad for him, but the other part of me says it serves him right. Apparently after she rejected him he "couldn't stand" being there while she was. IDIOT. I guess the biggest part of me is trying not to gloat. (Gloat, gloat.)

ANYWAY, for those of you that don't read fmylife.com, DO IT. It's hilarious.

I love you guys. I have to go finish my etching, but I'll leave you with this funny Facebook story:


Madeline Kelley went from being "single" to "it's complicated."
Dane Gustafson and 2 others like this.

Madeline Kelley at 3:03am March 4
ha i didnt know id get so many responses from this

Dennis K Redmond at 6:25am March 4
i guess thats what happens when you date an asshole


:D

Muah,

-A.

I know, you're going to start expecting things.

But because I am a nerd who likes others to tell me what I already know about myself, I took the Myers-Briggs test. Needless to say, it was scarily accurate, for the most part. I've bolded the especially accurate parts. :) Because you care. :P (It's long--I understand if you want to skip through it.)

*Portrait of an ENFJ - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
(Extraverted Feeling with Introverted Intuition)

The Giver

As an ENFJ, you're primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this.

Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. ENFJ's motives are usually unselfish, but ENFJs who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them.

ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves and turn to dark thoughts when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people. ENFJs tend to define their life's direction and priorities according to other people's needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It's natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people's needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don't sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others.

ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals.

Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs. (A note from me: Well, NO. Not really.)

The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves.

People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. They are generally bright, full of potential, energetic and fast-paced. They are usually good at anything which captures their interest.

ENFJs like for things to be well-organized, and will work hard at maintaining structure and resolving ambiguity. They have a tendency to be fussy, especially with their home environments.

In the work place, ENFJs do well in positions where they deal with people. They are naturals for the social committee. Their uncanny ability to understand people and say just what needs to be said to make them happy makes them naturals for counseling. They enjoy being the center of attention, and do very well in situations where they can inspire and lead others, such as teaching.

ENFJs do not like dealing with impersonal reasoning. They don't understand or appreciate its merit, and will be unhappy in situations where they're forced to deal with logic and facts without any connection to a human element. Living in the world of people possibilities, they enjoy their plans more than their achievements. They get excited about possibilities for the future, but may become easily bored and restless with the present. (No, I get terrified of the future based on the present. :D)

ENFJs have a special gift with people, and are basically happy people when they can use that gift to help others. They get their best satisfaction from serving others. Their genuine interest in Humankind and their exceptional intuitive awareness of people makes them able to draw out even the most reserved individuals.

ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship.

An ENFJ who has not developed their Feeling side may have difficulty making good decisions, and may rely heavily on other people in decision-making processes. If they have not developed their Intuition, they may not be able to see possibilities, and will judge things too quickly based on established value systems or social rules, without really understanding the current situation. An ENFJ who has not found their place in the world is likely to be extremely sensitive to criticism, and to have the tendency to worry excessively and feel guilty. They are also likely to be very manipulative and controlling with others.

In general, ENFJs are charming, warm, gracious, creative and diverse individuals with richly developed insights into what makes other people tick. This special ability to see growth potential in others combined with a genuine drive to help people makes the ENFJ a truly valued individual. As giving and caring as the ENFJ is, they need to remember to value their own needs as well as the needs of others. *

BAM. I rule.

Haha, minus all the stuff about being an insecure, slightly manipulative worrywart. :P

In other news, the resident Idiotic-28-Year-Old-TA-That-I-Despise, Michelle, made out with a student while entirely blotto in Venice, and there are photos. AND video. I wonder how the administration would feel about seeing those...

Unrelated Sidenote: My own Facebook stalking skills scare me sometimes. :/

Love you guys!

-A.

Two days in a row?! Insanity!

I guess I'm just making up for the slacking I've done lately. Besides, I haven't said much about Florence/Italy ITSELF. So, I'm going to do what I call an "Emily Post", and observe what's going on AROUND me, as opposed to what is just going on WITH me.

Italians have a very interesting taste. They dress fabulously well, usually in black. They are trendy as all-get-out, to a fault, even. (Puffy coats with elastic belts? EEK!) Every female here wears boots--it was one of the first things I bought besides food, firstly because they were cheap (I may have mentioned the January sales before), and secondly because Florence seems to have every style of shoe I ADORE. They also like blondes. At least the men do. :P Ask Morgan about the encounter she had her first week here, where a guy blatantly felt her ass up in the street.

The Italians practice what they call "Bella Figura". Have I mentioned it here? I forget. Basically, the objective is to look as good as you can before you walk out the door. Why the eff hasn't America gotten on that?! As a result, I LIKE to think I look more cleaned up than usual--I actually put on makeup 90% of the time now, and I try and make the effort to look aloof and bitchy. Hey, it seems to work for the Italians! I've barely been cat-called!

They also have a few obsessions: Marilyn Monroe and A Clockwork Orange. I swear, you see that shit EVERYWHERE. They pay a few respects to my girl Audrey, as well, but not nearly as much as Marilyn (typical! :P). And kebab. There's a place on every corner! This is great for my mouth, but bad for my wallet. (That's what she said.)

As for dislikes, I think that can be summed up in one big one: Traffic laws. I swear to God, the only rule is "Don't hit anyone". And the unspoken one is, "Be as big of an impatient tool as possible, too." Graar.

So, yeah! So far, that's my observation. Limited, I know, but you're reading the blog of a girl who hasn't even been inside the Uffizi for longer than an hour. And I live across the street. :/ I'm a shameful human being.

In other news, my mushroom soup went over VERY well last night! It was a little too salty, but I can fix that! I'm definitely making it for all of us when I come home! What do you guys think? My mushroom soup, and Em can make those little molten cakes of DELICIOUSNESS. Bri? Drea? Ab-Fab? Any input? Tasty bread? Salad?

The rest of my day is going to be pretty boring and slacker-y. I got about 2/3 of the way into my first little figurine (I changed my mind about the paper cutouts for now, but I'm not forgetting about them) and then, I think I changed my mind AGAIN and might do cute, tiny watercolors with my chubby little character running around and getting overwhelmed and gossiping and basically doing everything I do. :P

Did I tell you guys about my latest critique with Kevin, the MICA students supervisor? I told him I was interested in injecting more humor into my work--I feel like so many art kids take themselves SO SERIOUSLY. At that, he got really weirdly smug and "oh-yes-I-know-all-about-you" and was like "Yes, you do have that crooked smile." Do I? Really? I think he's thinking of the face I make when I'm trying not to laugh at him. I think he says shit like that because I hit the nail on the head with him in our first meeting and pointed out his caffeine jitters and mismatched socks.

Directly after this, he told me a horrifying story about a boy he was in 4th grade with who slit his wrists (and survived), due to bullying. #1: FOURTH GRADE. #2: KEVIN, WTF? DISTURBING.

Sidenote: I love my Facebook 'Favorite Quotes' section. I have a fantastic sense of humor, you know that? :P

I'm going to call my mom in the next half hour, and she's going to be all cute and engaged, and I feel a little bad to have to bring the hammer down on that in any way, but I NEED to get some solid info on the finances so I won't get beaten by the SACI:NY lady! She's out for blood, I swear.

On a lighter note, apparently Betsy and Jen (you remember, my MICA roommates from last semester) were not shy in asking Robin how far we've gone! He told them the (modest, ungraphic) truth--which is fine by me, I'm just surprised they were so forward about asking! Jen maybe, but Betsy was apparently the one who asked! Funny, and it makes me miss them. :)

Okay, I'm out. Love you guys! I'll update soon.

-A.

ETA: Just got off the phone with Mom, and we settled on a game plan for the SACI housing bill. She's really, really excited about her and Robert (of course!), and she told me that KJ is constantly playing his guitar and drums, that his grades are great, and he's taking up track and tennis! His play opens this weekend--I wish I could be there to see it! Man, he's going to be 14 soon. It seems like he's taking forever to age, but I know he'll be a man before I know it!

Let me let you in on an excerpt from an e-mail he sent after I asked him to assist me with the SACI bill: "As you well know, money is tight all over for most folks and last minute surprises are more difficult to handle. Lisa and I have always been happy to do what we can and I hope you understand that. This is frustrating for me because you're my daughter, I love you and I don't want this to create a hardship for you. I wish I could just pay it but that's not possible."

Logical, realistic and completely understandable.

But wait, what's that I hear? DAD BOUGHT A 2-SEATER CONVERTIBLE. SRSLY.

Thank you, Daddy. Thank you for focusing on the important expenses. For real.

But you've all heard me complain about this a million times. :P

Pisa e Lucca!

If you guys make your way to my Facebook, you can see that I've posted some new photos! The photo uploader is a little bit of a bitch, so they might not all be there when you log in to see them, but soon enough! Promise!

Our trip was really fun, although it was SO rainy, and subsequently freezing, which wasn't great, but the churches and museums were so awesome.

Pisa was my favorite of the two--the Tower was awe-inspiring, and the Baptistry was so amazing! They did this acoustical demonstration, where one of the attendants sang up into the cone/dome structure, and it sounded like a choir of people singing softy with them. It was wonderful. I didn't climb the tower (it cost 15 euro!), but it was enough to just see how cool it is.

Lucca had it's charms too--it's churches housed two really interesting tombs--one was a well-preserved body of a 13th century saint, St. Zita (allegedly), and the other was a commemorative marble tomb built for a teenage wife who died in childbirth. It was so gorgeous. And there were some 900 year old manuscripts in the cathedral museum! Excellent calligraphy.

All in all, a very successful trip. I'm going to try to go to Rome with them in two weeks, too, if it doesn't cost too much. Wish me luck!

Melissa and I attended an American Episcopal Church a little ways down the Arno yesterday. They're choir was small but powerful (I want to join, and I'm attending a meeting on Wednesday), but the sermon and hymns were so weird. One hymn talked about how the fishermen were happy and content before Jesus called them, and how Peter and John suffered horrible endings as a result of their service to God, and how God's Peace isn't peace at all, but we should pray for it. It was so weird.

And the female rector gave the sermon, which started out talking about Jesus calling the fishermen to follow him, and then she had this theory that they'd all known each other for years, and that the following was the culmination of a decades-long argument about 'vocation' and misunderstanding Jesus. THEN it was about a Holocaust survivor who stayed alive in Auschwitz because he was a tailor and could sew German uniforms. He came to the US, remarried, and had a daughter and a son. He taught the daughter to sew (his 'vocation'), and somehow his transferring of his suffering to her via sewing caused her to become anorexic, or something? I have no idea. It was so random. Then it was like "There is no fate or destiny, we all have a choice in our vocation." And I'm like, "Yes, we have a choice, but there's GOD'S PLAN, remember?" I don't know. I can't judge the whole place by one sermon.

ANYWAY, I guess I'll go back one or two times and see if it's for me. Mel and I are going to visit a home church next Sunday night and see what that's like as well. :)

I made a mix back for Robin. I hope he likes it! :D I miss him a lot.

I miss all of you! Florence would be so much more amazing if you were all here with me. Muah!

I have to go grab a quick snack and head back to class. I love and miss you all dearly. Have a great day!

-A.

OKAY, NEW PLAN.

I'll be online tonight between 9:30 and 12, which means 3:30 and 6 to you dear people. :) Come talk to me and let me tell you how much I miss you!

People I've hung out with so far:

-Morgan: Tall, blonde, and full-figured (AKA typical American bombshell to the Italian boys), she's very funny, and although she likes her party-time, she's no bimbo. She also happens to live right off Mt. Nebo Road!

-Christine and Emily: My roommates, who are Penn State girls, and kind of boring. Nice enough, though. Emily seems a little brighter, but Christine is more kind-hearted.

-David: ONLY THE SWEETEST GUY TO WALK THE EARTH! I don't think he knows how to be mean to people. He is thoughtful, considerate, kind, attentive, and interested in what everyone has to say. And you should see the way he talks about his girlfriend! (Of four years! Wow!) Shame he lives the farthest away in the US--all way way in upstate NY.

Just got out of the first half of my Conservation of Archeological Objects class. Pretty amazing so far. My teachers are an old Italian man who speaks ZERO Inglese, but has 40 years of experience, and a young Italian female translator/conservator. It seems like it's going to be an amazing class. We got to check out some 1500 year old artifacts from some Etruscan tombs (not touching yet, of course), and we started our study by putting together broken terra cotta pots, like plant pots, to practice for the real thing, which will be WAY more difficult. But it's been surprisingly fun! (If a little frustrating at times!)

The Giardini Boboli were stunning--I'll be putting up photos on Facebook tonight!

Talk to you tonight, I hope!

Love,

A.

"I'm just CRAZY about Tiffany's!"

Well, our NYC trip was very, very successful.

Robin and I got dropped off around 12:30pm in the Upper East Side at Madison Avenue (no GG sightings--sorry!), where we walked and looked into shops for a little while, then crossed through Central Park into the Upper West Side to the Shake Shack, where we got some hamburgers and ate them on the chilly benches nearby.

We went to the Natural History Museum next ('fo free, because Robin had his Warhol Museum ID--hell yes), which was REALLY fun and interesting and it just reminds me how present God is. There was this one part of this display about the creation of the universe that was talking about what triggered the beginnings of life, and it was like "The reason is still unknown", and I was like *snerk :P

Anyway, we posed with this GIANT fossilized turtle ("I like tuhtles"--if you haven't seen it, YouTube it), then saw a prehistoric giant SLOTH.

It was cool. :)

So, then we got on the subway to Fifth Avenue, where we saw a ton on Christmas-themed shop windows. We stopped at Tiffany's, at my request, and I posed by a stuffed albino peacock (one of Lucius Malfoy's, I presume. :P). Inside, we saw this amazingly giant gold, diamond, and peridot necklace. As we were looking at it, a girl about our age came to the counter and asked "How much is this necklace?" With as much distaste in her voice as she could muster, the saleslady said, "$385,000." And the girl was like "Oh", all disappointed, like she was going to buy that GIANT necklace for a reasonable price! WTF? "Aw, mom said I could only spend $380,000 this year! D:"

Then we wandered into Starbucks and got a light dinner, then walked over to Rockefeller Center to see the tree, and nearly got crushed in the mob. :) The tree was lovely, and it reminded me how present God is, once again. :D

So, we caught the subway again to SoHo, and met the bus. Robin and I slept pretty much the whole way home, which was lovely. Then I slept for twelve MORE hours, and did some of my finals today. :)

Also, Betsy went to H-Mart (Asian food store) this morning with Paul, and apparently tried to convice him that Robin and I have a thing. :/ I'm not sure if he believed her or not, but he mentioned it to Marla, who in turn told Robin. Robin said that Marla was very, very skeptical, so that's good, but we really have to cool it.

It's sounding like Betsy needs to shut her trap, because Jen indicated that Betsy told her that I vent about Jen's relationship DUMBNESS to Robin. GOD. AS IF YOU DON'T, BETSY. I'll need to take that up with her.

Alright, I love you guys, and I'm going to direct you to my Facebook, where I have posted my birthday pictures.

OH, one more thing. Chase posted on my wall, wanting me to call him and catch up. What do you guys think? I'm curious about his doings, but not INTERESTED. I more want to gloat about how well I'm doing. :P

Love you,

Alyssa