The End of the MICA Chapter

Classes and finals are (essentially) over for me!

My plans for the next few days are:

-Hang the commencement show.
-Start packing.
-Attend a super-fun Victorian tea party.
-Go to a wedding! As a bridesmaid!
-GRADUATE!

I had my interview with Sarah Vinas, the art director of Glamour magazine, yesterday. Overall I think it went well! I was a little intimidated at first, but she proved to be really personable (but professional), and she offered some good advice--some which I'd heard from others, but that's normal. My biggest concern (and don't I know it)is settling on a style/media/vision. I need to focus myself. This summer will be an excellent time to explore that, so I'm looking forward to it. :) Sarah offered to e-mail me with a few references for people/places that could potentially be interested it my work, and offered to be a contact for me (which was very generous). Successful, I think!

Oh my gosh, here comes real life!

The rest of yesterday was really great as well (apart from getting up at 5:45 for a shift). I got to class at 10 after a rushed shower after my shift (which ends at 9). I'd dressed carefully (doy, art director of GLAMOUR), and got to the studio as a bunch of people were laying out awesome food for everyone to have during the day. I waited around for a bit, talked to Joey V. on the phone, had my interview, and had to immediately jet off to Target (to return that dress) and to Ikea (to get frames for the commencement show).

The drives to both places were so quick, John and I didn't get lost, and both ventures were fast and easy. I was so happy! So, we decided to go to PF Chang's for a late lunch/early dinner, which made me even happier. :D Because I'd woken up early and had such a rush-around sort of day, I fell asleep right in the car! So unlike me.

Oh, and then John and I watched The Power Rangers Movie. I know you're jealous.

In other news, Betsy is coming up next week for graduation! I haven't seen her since Winter Break! Unfortunately the wedding will make me miss her for the first few days, but it'll be a fun time! I'm still in this weird in-between where I'm aware of the end, but I'm still doing so many things I can't absorb it yet. I wonder how I'll be when I get to that point. Eep!

Hope you're all well!

-A.

A little venting that's been building up over nearly three and a half years. (Also, template re-do!)

I’ve always doubted my talent in the visual arts. I’m quite sure of my singing talent, and decently confident in my acting abilities (usually), but I’ve never quite sat comfortably with my art.

I like my art just fine, for the most part, but it’s difficult to attend such an amazing school where you see so many fantastic people making this gorgeous, seemingly effortless work constantly. MICA does a good job of not fostering a comparative or competitive spirit, particularly within the illustration department, but I’ve always had that tendency without any help. I have a very hard time not comparing myself to my fellow classmates, for better or for worse (usually for worse).

I acknowledge that I am absolutely not the most talented student in my year and major. Most days I’m not sure I’m even in the top 50%, which is disheartening, as I’ve chosen this for my career. My mom (oh, moms) assures me I’m way too hard on myself, but I’m not so sure. After all, she isn’t here all the time, seeing what I see. Plus, she’s my MOM.

I get disappointed in myself. I know a large part of my disappointment has to do with my own lack of work ethic, which is a start. This is an issue I need to solve, and soon. However, people outside of the art community don’t seem to understand how difficult and time-consuming art really is. Try having to complete multiple pieces within a week or two. These artworks must be smart, conceptual, beautiful, individual, and perfectly-crafted. I admit, I wasn’t aware of what art was going to demand of me when MICA first accepted me.

When I arrived home after my first semester at MICA, most of my friends asked a similar question: ‘How do you grade art?’ With all of the things I mentioned above; all the effort and intelligence and beauty. Sort of like Miss America. Haha, just kidding. Miss Americas aren’t intelligent. :P

It’s a challenge, and it’s often a really fun challenge. Sophomore year was the most fun for me—the projects were usually small, quirky, useful assignments: editorial, mostly. My Narrative Illustration class helped me turn out some of my best work because I’m passionate about characters and stories. It’s a good feeling, seeing your work improve. But it’s hard to keep that confidence up when that improvement still hasn’t raised you to a level where you can compete professionally with your collegues.

I nurse a strange paranoia in myself. At MICA—at any art school—we critique artwork. Not only in class, but amongst ourselves—we rank out who can draw and who can’t. I have this feeling that my closest friends at MICA (exceptionally talented designers and artists in their own right) privately think of me as the least talented among us. I may be entirely out of my mind in thinking that (actually most of my friends haven’t seen my work due to this very insecurity), but it’s a feeling I can’t shake.

To change tack, I’m not sure I can say that I’m passionate about art. Maybe about portraits. I’m not sure I can say I’m passionate about MY art. I enjoy doing it, certainly, and I often like what I do. I love looking at beautiful art, but I’m the first to say I’m a strict classicist with little to no interest in contemporary fine art. I’ve felt passionate about people and about singing, but I’m not sure I’ve felt that same rush about art. Perhaps it’s because I’ve never really expressed myself artistically.

The closest I’ve ever come to doing so was in a thirty-page comic book/diary I drew while I was in Florence, Italy this past Spring. It was funny and cute and sometimes sad, and my artwork made some huge strides, and I was happy with the product, but I’m hesitant to call what I do ‘expressive’.

Or maybe I’m just being a giant WEENIE. Thoughts?

Thanksgiving was lovely (the soup went over well!) and TOO SHORT. But I can’t wait for this semester to be over so I can take John home to my family! :D

I got to talk to Em and Drea this week, for the first time in a babillion years. I’ve been realizing lately how close I am to them, and how much closer I’ve stayed to them as my MICA friends have shifted. I love you guys!

Overall, I’m happy, if stressed with all the effing work I have to do before the semester’s end:

-At least 15 pages of thesis work done, plus a few pages inked plus final critique.
-10 page paper for Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt plus a final exam.
-Objectivity final exam.
-ArtMarket and final Lab critique.

BLAH.

Wish me luck.

Lots and lots of love,
-A.

In a few short hours...

I shall be on my way to New Jersey with my wonderful boyfriend for the Thanksgiving holidays! I could not be happier about this than if he were coming home with me! (As I've met his family and he's only met my mom and godparents.)

This year, so John tells me, will be a smaller Thanksgiving dinner-guest wise (his aunts and uncles come for hors d'ouvres and then go elsewhere for dinner most years), but I'm still aiming to impress, so I decided to make a yummy-looking Butternut Squash-Apple soup for the table (courtesy of the awesome Orangette)! I'm pretty excited to try it--I've never really cooked for anyone aside from my family or roommates before. Wish me luck!

I'm equally happy about the break from school (although I'll still be attempting to draw for thesis--we'll see how that goes). This morning was VERY hectic, as I was working on the final touches for my book for Whitney Sherman for The Lab, then sending it out to Lulu with an extra kick in the pants for shipping--both set me back more than I'd hoped, but hopefully these will sell! I ordered ten books (so if they don't sell I won't have spent hundreds of dollars), and intend to hand make covers (because Lulu.com doesn't like the image I wanted for my cover and never let it be the size I wanted. But whatevs). Wish me luck on that, too, because ArtMarket is only two weeks away! So much to do! And then, in three and a half teensy weeks, I'll be halfway done with my senior year. WHAT.

I'm done packing and ready to go! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Be thankful! (and not just for food!)

Love,

A.