Something I must comment on.

There has been a lot of controversy about the recently passed law regarding illegal aliens in Arizona. The Facebook Group "1 MILLION Strong AGAINST the Arizona Immigration Law SB1070" offered a concise, clear definition of the law and it's tenets. Have a look:

Current law in Arizona and most states doesn't require police to ask about the immigration status of those they encounter, and many police departments prohibit officers from inquiring out of fear immigrants won't cooperate in other investigations.

The new law makes it a crime under state law to be in the country illegally. Immigrants unable to produce documents showing they are allowed to be in the U.S. could be arrested, jailed for up to six months and fined $2,500. Other provisions allow lawsuits against government agencies that hinder enforcement of immigration laws, and make it illegal to hire undocumented workers for day labor or knowingly transport them.

That being read: what is the bad part in this law? Is it the ejecting ILLEGAL aliens part? Is it that it establishes a way to keep tabs confidently on who is/is not a documented worker/citizen is the United States? (Another thing to note is that the first sentence of the second paragraph says that the new law means it's illegal, according to the state, to be in the country illegally. Like, you know, the FEDERAL LAW that says the same thing.)

Obviously there has been fear that this law will encourage racial profiling. Mexico is the only foreign country that Arizona borders. It is a near certainty that any illegal immigrants to be found in Arizona are Mexican/Hispanic. It's like telling a police officer a redhead robbed you and then they bring in only black-haired people to the lineup. Who should they be looking for?

Perhaps it could be an inconvenience for those of Hispanic descent who are legally allowed to live and work in the States, sure, but if you're legal, you have nothing to worry about. This shouldn't be an insult.

There's also been some complaints about having to carry papers, saying it recalls the Nazi persecution of the Jews in the same way. Leaving this sensationalist claim itself alone, the US are not trying to persecute illegals because of their race. We're not trying to hunt down and execute illegals. We're simply doing what we should have done a decade ago and restored this to federal concern.

John had a great parallel for the use of citizenship papers--are we not all required to carry driver's licenses? A police officer has the right to stop any driver for any reason and ask for one's license and registration to assure that the party is driving legally.

I believe that every person who wants to become a US citizen should have the right to do so. It's a matter of completing the due process. Learn about the Constitution, what the US represents (or once represented, some might say), and learn English. Any other country would ask the same of anyone desirous of citizenship. I honestly wish more US citizens understood what their country is about.

I can't abide anyone (from ANY country) coming into America illegally in order to take advantage of tax-free income. I can't abide people hiring illegals knowingly for cheap labor. Have a family to support back home? I sympathize. Now get legal or get out. Why should we be lenient on those who are breaking our laws? That is a very serious question!

Feel free to leave any thoughts/comments/arguments!

-A.

The link is back!

http://www.myspace.com/gleeauditions?link=4045137

Gold stars, please! :D

THE FUTURE.

I've been thinking about a lot of facets of the future. Jobs, relationships, art, and direction in general. Let's look at some categories:

Jobs: This is the most unpredictable/uncontrollable of the four, at least as far as gainful employment is concerned. I might not get a super-profitable job thanks to not being able to drive (urg--although I wouldn't have a car even if I knew how), or a lack of credentials. I might be waiting tables or doing less-than-dignified (but perfectly fine) jobs until further notice. I'm okay with this. The problem is FINDING the job in the first place. Is anyone even hiring anymore? And are they willing to be very flexible about extended visitation with long-distance boyfriends? (That's a JOKE. Ish.)

Art: John has been instrumental in reminding me not to take myself so damn seriously all the time. I'm usually pretty down on myself/my art. I'm very aware that I'm not in the top 10% of my class as far as talent/skill--maybe not even the top 30%! (On a sidenote--having the money to get a laptop/programs to extend my skill set would've revolutionized the work I produced at MICA.) But regardless, I know that it's useless to beat myself up. I AM talented, even if I don't draw LIKE a specific other student.

I freaked myself out last night about Showcase--when the illustration seniors get to talk to an art director who was (hopefully) part of a list we submitted in March. My thesis teacher informed me that I got very lucky, and will be talking to Sarah Vinas...the art director of Glamour magazine. WHAT. So, naturally, I'm TERRIFIED, and wishing my work was ten trillion times better/more/editorial/sexier and oh-god-WHY did I do a final with old people?!

But, John kindly reminded me (after I moved myself to tears) that this isn't a job interview. She's here to talk to me about how to move forward and where to go from here. Having some time to live and work at home without the pressures of rent and bills (for now) is ideal--I can take time to worry about my art and only my art. I can experiment, practice, maybe even branch out into some design-y things. (I know!)

Relationships: John and I are obviously staying together after graduation. I don't think anyone here was questioning that. But, also obviously, this will be the biggest challenge we've faced yet as a couple (THANK GOD--what a gift! Only having to worry about a few months apart). There are big things coming for us, and I'm not worried about the distance. We're both devoted to making the effort, which takes care of that.

Direction: This one is a bit more elusive than a job, but rather easier to control, oddly enough. It goes hand-in-hand with the other three categories, and those determine it. I know--where does the aspect of control come in?! But I guess what I mean is that you should have faith that you'll end up where you need to be.

The best example of this for me starts waaay back when I was in fourth or fifth grade. I had a friend named Teresa, who was actually a bossy, controlling, BITCH, but she could draw pretty well for a nine year old. Naturally, I wanted to be just like Teresa, so I started to draw more. That summer, my mom asked if I'd like to enroll in an art class with my other friend Anna, who went to a different school. I said no, reasoning that Teresa would teach me what I needed to know about drawing (I think I cited 'shading' specifically to my mother :P). The next year, Anna moved away, and Teresa and I fell out a couple years later.

If I had started taking real art courses then, where would I have ended up? Still at MICA? (I think so.) I think that was the first time that I was offered a chance to decide my life's direction. When I was a dumbhead and said no, I was gently guided in that direction later by something that appealed more to my silly teenaged self (a character in a book who happened to be an artist). So, I got into art again, and here I am, graduating from art school. Coming to MICA was a wonderful thing, even if it was only to put me in the company of wonderful friends and a wonderful man. (I don't think that's the case, but I think you get my meaning.) Everything happens for a reason.

So, with that, John's here and is going to read to me. :) What a great guy. <3

Love,
-A.

GLEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I auditioned for Glee! Please view and give me gold stars!

(Hint: you can give as many gold stars as you want! ;D)

http://www.myspace.com/gleeauditions?link=4045137

PS. For some reason the direct link doesn't work--search 'Alyssa' in the toolbar on the Glee page. I should be the first entry--I have no profile image. Thanks!

Just Like A Prayer...

Things have been going a lot more smoothly. I still have a lot to do (although tonight and tomorrow will take care of that, mostly), and there are only three weeks until the Wedding/Graduation!

Speaking of graduation, I intended to wear my Nanette Lepore to graduation, but then I went of Target.com and found this amazing number. It was such a great deal and the planets had aligned so well for me (on sale, free shipping, left in my size alone) that after sleeping on it, I decided to buy it for graduation. :) And I'll DEFINITELY wear it again, and again, and again...

I got to sit in on the senior animators reviewing their films so-far--John's looks really great! I can't wait until he finishes and inserts the remaining scenes!

I'm looking forward to coming home how--Em will be there, and I'm really looking forward to spending some time with her after barely seeing her for the past year! :P Apart from that, I have a friend who works at ModCloth, and she's a great contact--maybe I could work there and get to look at awesome clothes all the time? We'll see.

Hope you're all well! Good luck with finals/thesis!

-A.

Here comes the bridesmaid...

I received my bridesmaid dress yesterday, and I must say it was both better and worse than I imagined. This is it:

Granted, the color is digitally overlaid, but it's not too far off. The lime in my dress is only a few shades cooler than the digital approximation. However, the dress fits PERFECTLY, and I'm grateful for that (no need to spend any more on this dress than absolutely necessary). The cut is actually really flattering, and it's far less shiny than the picture indicates. Whew.

Just...the COLOR. I look like lettuce. And not even spring mix. Iceberg.

I decided I can shorten it someday and be Tinkerbell for Halloween. Or I could, you know, sell it. :P

Last night was a welcome bit of fun--John, Colin, Katie, Robin and I went to Turps (a local sports bar) for their half-price burger night, then to Rita's, then Katie and I kicked the boys out to watch Glee. :P ACTUALLY, they were just too lame to stay (although John watched it with me Tuesday night, so he's forgiven). I love having a group I can call home base, even if we only found each other in the last year of MICA. After all, I found my best friends from high school the summer after we graduated!

Not to wax too nostalgic (especially since we haven't even graduated yet!), but I'm really hopeful that we'll all stay close as we head out in our separate directions. Thankfully we all have Luke and Jessica's wedding next year, and eventually my own and maaaybe Colin and Katie's? ;)

I believe we can do it. :)

Early morning means a long day--hanging my senior show (which isn't the same as the commencement show) and watching more presentations, and just being thankful that today isn't last week. There's still a long way to go, but I'm learning how to take it better, slower.

Thank God I have so many blessings in the shape of John and my friends and family!

-A.

Looks like I get to keep my job..

Thank goodness!

I also spoke to my Uncle David about securing a loan for the rest of the rent I owe ($750). Mom was frustrated that I didn't ask for another $900 in order to pay back my godmother for the loan I got from HER. I understand and appreciate consolidating, but I'm not at all the type to ask for more than I immediately NEED, and since I'm paying it all back anyway, sending it off to two separate people or just one isn't really the battle I'm going to pick.

To my Mom it's a personal thing--she doesn't like that I got a loan from my godmother at all, and she feels that as Kathleen's close friend, it's her responsibility to get her money back first. Which I totally get, and in an ideal world, I agree. But it seems sort of weird to repay one loan with another. I don't know. Maybe I just didn't feel comfortable asking for almost $2000 from an uncle I'm not even that close to. But he was more than willing to help (Thank God), and we're on our way.

And actually, $750 is the number right now--I have another month to come up with whatever I can give my landlady before the lease is up, and I could be down to $500 by then! (Wishful thinking...) We'll see.

Today is a full day--thankfully I don't have class tonight, and can concentrate on doing work and going to bed early. WHEW.

Hope you're all well and caught up with whatever you're up to!

-A.

Limbo.

The meeting didn't tell me much--Lonnie still needed to think about whether or not he's going to fire me. I did cry, but I didn't intend to. We'll see what happens. He says his decision will be made by tomorrow.

Today was a procrastinator-y day, but I made more thumbnails than I ever have for an assignment, which is surprising. Although it was only four thumbnails--rather, eight, because the assignment is for two posters. John finished reading Pyramids to me today--we're reading Terry Pratchett's novels split into categories (Wizards, Witches, Death, Night Watch, etc.), and then reading in the order they were published within that category.

There are a few stand-alones that we're reading in between the categories--Pyramids is one of those. We've read the whole of the Wizard saga so far (minus one, which was a sort of comic book add-on, The Last Hero, which we're reading next): The Color of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Sourcery, Faust Eric, Interesting Times, and The Last Continent, plus Pyramids (That's seven books in about four months!). Small Gods is next, then the Witches.

We'll be reading 36 books in all. There are more--maybe we'll get around to those, too. :) And there are even more in store (by other authors) after that!

Almost sleep time. Hope you're well!

-A.

Whew.

Things have been much better since spilling the truth to Mom, but I'm still nervous about my meeting with Lonnie tomorrow--wish me luck!

In other news, I went to NYC yesterday for a class and walked through 15 galleries, thirteen of which were filled with shitty art. (UGH.) I really like New York (too bad John doesn't--too busy for him), and I wish I could have spent the day doing what I wanted rather than hiking through Chelsea in the chill.

I spent the first half of the day giving tours at the MICA Open House, which was fun, but TIRING, and now John and I are about to have dinner. Sorry to dash!

Hope you're all well!

-A.

Since this is all out in the open now...

I told Mom today, so now I can tell you all.

I owe my landlady $1250 in back rent. I got a $900 loan from my godmother a few months ago for part of the larger debt. I kept both of these things a secret from my mom for four months, which was stupid, I know, but I know how stressful her life is already.

The emotional breakdown I had this week was largely to do with this debt, and the fact that I had plans to move to a new place with Betsy and had the new deposit and slightly more expensive rent to worry about, etc. made me seize with a panic so intense I could barely see straight.

This afternoon, my mom began asking me questions about the new lease and the deposit and how I would pay and jobs, which sent me into a decision--I could lie and evade about the debt, or I could tell her and maybe get some real help. So, I told her. She wasn't mad, just frustrated that I left her out of it for so long.

We decided, tentatively, for me to move home and pay off the debt without worrying about rent or bills. It sucks that I won't be living as close to John as I'd hoped to, but this is more important right now. We'll still be together, after all--there's no changing that.

Feels good to get that off my chest.

-A.

...

These past 36 hours have been beyond awful. My anxiety has been eating me up over money and schoolwork and the time I have to do it in. I'm feeling a bit better after talking to John and Allan (my seminar teacher), but I'm still dealing with some bad crap. I honestly had an emotional breakdown yesterday--or as close to one as I've ever had before.

I accidentally missed a 6-9AM shift this morning, and I'm nervous about what that will mean for my job (although it's unlikely I'll be fired with only three weeks left in the semester), and due to my financial situation I CANNOT not have a job. I called my boss right away, of course, and I probably sounded hysterical (although I didn't cry, shockingly), but he was heading into a meeting and told me he would just send me an e-mail so we could follow up. Hopefully he is the kind of man who is afraid of tears and won't have the heart to fire me if I break down in his office. :P All kidding aside, however, it is serious, and I wish I could stop feeling like such a mess.

Allan, thankfully, excused me from Seminar today, and I got to have a relaxing shower. After John and I grab lunch, I'm spending the day on thesis, which has been sadly neglected due to my panic over getting stuff for my Portfolio presentation done. Allen also pushed that back to the 22nd for me. Whew.

I'm not bursting into hysterical tears at every thought of this misfortune now, thank God. Allan (who is also a Christian), gave me the always-great advice of surrender to God. I admit, I have been trying. I'm just not sure what surrender is supposed to feel like, I guess. I know God has taken amazing care of me, at least as far as my own eating habits are concerned, but I really just want this anxiety taken away so I can focus on what I have to do rather than on being a wreck for two hours.

I hope you're all having a better week than me. Wish me luck!

Love,

-A.

Easter.

I hope you're all (Christian and non-Christian alike) are having a good [Holy] week. :)

Easter as Christians know it is very different from how Easter began. We borrowed the word 'Easter' in the same way as we borrowed our Christmas date and traditions--from the pagans.

The bunnies-and-candy holiday we know now is actually a bit closer to the original celebrations of 'Ostara' or 'Eostre'--fertility festivals about the birth of spring and verdant things centered around a Germanic Goddess and most recently, the Neopagan/Wiccan community.

Easter, as celebrated by Christians, is about Jesus' Resurrection after the Crucifixion. Rebirth, forgiveness, etc. Good Friday is typically solemn--Jesus traditionally hung on the cross from noon until three in the afternoon. Up until this year actually, I spent these hours alone, just being quiet or reflecting. This year, I was eating crepes in the sunshine. Oooops...

But it's not as though I forgot--the Crucifixion is essential to the Christian faith.

HOWEVER.

It is very, VERY important to remember that the Crucifixion is not the most important part. The Resurrection is. The death is worthless without the rebirth. Christ did not die in vain because God lifted Him back up into Heaven, and us with Him! That's why Easter is so important. It's a celebration of our own eventual entry into Heaven. Isn't that AWESOME?!

I know! So go celebrate and thank God for your life!

John's mom and brother are in town to see Midsummer tomorrow night--we're going out to his aunt and uncle's in Annapolis tomorrow for a barbecue, and on Sunday for Easter mass and brunch! :D Hope you all have a wonderful day!

-A.

P.S. Thesis is coming along SLOOOOWLY. It would be going much faster if I wasn't worrying about:

a) My seminar presentation, complete with business cards and postcards, portfolio site and hard portfolio to pass around. BLECH.

b) My other assignments--a 5-8 page paper, weekly assignments for my worthless 'Professional Practice for the Visual Artist' course, and Life Style illustration assignments.

Wish me luck and (more importantly) motivation!