:D

Okay! After a few days of suspense, I finally got to see Hector yesterday evening!

It was sort of funny, really. He arrived Sunday night--I'm not sure what time--but I didn't get to see him. The next morning, Emily W. went to graduate orientation. Mid-morning I realized Hector must be orienting as well, and lurked around campus like a creep for a couple hours hoping to spot his tour group. I'm dumb. :P

Naturally, I didn't see him, so I went home for a little while and tried to work. In that time, Hector had tweeted a photo of his vantage point at the graduate luncheon--he was sitting directly behind Emily! I tweeted him back about it, remarking on the coincidence, and he asked why she hadn't said hello, and broke the news that he would be leaving for VA that night! Emily got home at about 3:30, and I mentioned the exchange--she'd recognized Hector, actually, and had meant to say hi, but got caught up in her day, which is fine, of course, but she promised to introduce herself at the graduate dinner at 6 pm.

So, I went to the MICA store and bought a new sketchbook, then arranged myself in the park, in the shade of a tree, to sketch for awhile before Robin called, then Paul called! He's back in Baltimore, and he met me in the park before I ushered him back to my apartment to meet Emily. After a little while, Jen got home, and the three of us goofed around while Emily got ready to go back for dinner. Close to 7 pm, my phone rang. Dum-duh-duh-DUM! Triumph!

I answered, trying not to sound too eager, and Hector told me that Emily had introduced herself, and that she suggested that he come say hey--so he did! He had arrived outside at that point, so we hung up, and I hurled myself into the living room at Jen and Paul: "OMG HECTOR'S DOWNSTAIRS!", then hurled myself out of the apartment before patting my hair and proceeding calmly (but cutely) down the stairs to open the door for him. We hugged, and I showed him up to the apartment. We sat at the kitchen table and he acknowledged that it was a little weird to be with me in person, after texting and tweeting all this time. But it was comfortable and nice and we talked about our families and crazy parents and hometowns and favorite places and thesis.

He talked more than I did, which was welcome, but he listened intently to all my insanity, and he LOVED the chart on the fridge that I made about all of the Apartment 6 drama that took place amongst Rybin VanSchachlin (one link per syllable) last fall. We talked about art and his new apartment (it was nice, he was using phrases like "When you see the apartment", etc.), and he stayed about an hour. And OF COURSE, in the last two minutes of our visit, he says something about the force behind believing. I say: "I believe a lot of things." His response? "Oh, well, I don't believe in anything." UUUUGH. ANYWAY. When I walked him out, I told him we should make lunch plans for the following week, once he gets back from Virginia. He answered, "Absolutely." :D

SO, he left, and Emily returned about an hour and a half later. I immediately informed her that she's a saint, and she told me how it went down: she approached him at the dinner, and introduced herself, and mentioned that I'd shown her Ink, and that's how she knew who he was (and not through my massive crush). They laughed about the Twitter-related coincidence of sitting near each other at the luncheon, and apparently Hector remarked that the Twitter stuff is "this passive-aggressive thing [he and I] do". Hmmm. Then HE asked if I was around and what I was doing, and when Emily said I was at the apartment just hanging out. So HE said that he should stop by, which she obviously encouraged. So he did! Yay! :)

Yeah, I really don't want to wait a week to talk to him again, BUT, he'll be here all year. So.

Woo!

Classes start in less than a week. WTF. Hopefully I can get everything done!

Love,

A.

Returning to the Recent Past and other kinds of Time-Travel.

Lauren and Abby picked me up from the bus station when Robby died, and one of the first conversations we had was about his idea of the afterlife. Lauren, being as close with Robby as she was, was lucky enough to get a packet of photocopied pages directly from Robby last summer--the packet, according to Robby, summed up his ideas and beliefs about God and the world around us.

I got the chance to skim it the day before the funeral--Lauren had left it out on her bed, having finally gotten around to reading it. I'm afraid I don't remember specifics, but I remember the bulk of it having to do with reconciling God and Science into Order--to be neither purely scientific or purely religious in name. The phrase 'God of Order' was used a lot.

The point is, Lauren was vehement about Robby's salvation--"I can't believe that he's in Hell. I cannot believe that." And I agreed. But how does one get around that niggling Biblical message? John 3:16 and everything we learned about in Sunday school?

I've been coming across a few interesting passages on this subject lately, including this entry from a blog called Growing Up Lane, written by two young Catholic sisters:

"Vatican II teaches that 'Those who, through no fault of their own, do not know the gospel of Christ or his church, but who nevertheless seek God with a sincere heart, and moved by grace, try in their actions to do his will as they know it through the dictates of their consciences—those too may achieve eternal salvation (LG 16).' Also, in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) we find this: 'Every man who is ignorant of the gospel of Christ and of his Church but seeks the truth and does the will of God in accordance with his understanding of it can be saved. It may be supposed that such persons would have desired baptism explicitly if they had known its necessity' (CCC 1260).

God has written Himself into all of our hearts, and this is known to most people as conscience. Those who seek and have a conscious desire to do good, to respond to this knowledge of God in their heart, are participating in God’s plan and serving Him as faithfully as is possible for them. Just because they are ignorant of the source of the graces and salvation they may receive, it does not mean that they cannot attain them. This, however, is not an excuse for settling for what you have and refusing to further your knowledge of God. We must continually work to join ourselves with God as intimately as possible. As Catholics, we believe that this is reached as a member of the Church that was founded by Christ, and participating in the sacraments He has given us, most importantly joining in true communion with Him through the celebration of the Eucharist.
So, 'no salvation outside of the Church' means that salvation only comes from Christ through the Church, not that only members of the Church are saved."

I am no longer Catholic, of course, but I think this is a good sum-up. While, yes, the Bible says that salvation is only for those who believe in Christ and the promises of the Crucifixion and Resurrection, this leaves a lot of holes and possibilities ('What about the pygmies who've never heard of Jesus?!'). Obviously, we can't rely on the idea that Robby didn't know anything about God or Christianity--his parents are Christians, and I know they attended a Lutheran church (I'm pretty sure it was Lutheran) as children. But, knowing that God is merciful and gave us a brain to explore, paired with the idea of God "writing Himself onto our hearts" as our conscience--the bottom line is, God doesn't want us to fail.

Another thing--and hopefully this doesn't come off as morbid--but Robby's death was one without fault. It wasn't a car accident or suicide (blessedly). It was an Act of God--I would say, a specific event that serves to further God's will. This doesn't make it a pleasant endeavor--Robby's death was intensely painful--but it offers some explanation: God's plan working through the life and death of a young man seeking knowledge. I can only hope that this explanation doesn't cause anyone to blame God.

I was flipping through my History of Silence course notes yesterday morning as well, and found two quotes I wrote in that apply:

"Because you seek Me with your whole heart, I will let Myself be found." -God to Man

and

"In my practice, actively trying to find something: it becomes there." -Keenan, (a classmate of mine)



In other news, I got a random Facebook chat message from Lacie's older brother Wesley night before last. We've never spoken ten words to each other, so this was surprising (I thought it was Lacie, at first, but the conversation quickly proved to me that it wasn't.) So, we had a game of Scrabble and we talked about my thesis project. After he beat me by 100 points, heh, we said goodnight, and he told me to let him know the next time I visit NYC (he lives there now and his pursuing his doctorate of philosophy). Hold your horses--he lives with his long-time girlfriend in the city, so no romantic interest from either side. As if.

Things with Hector are...progressing. Nicely.



:)



I also got the chance to talk on the phone with Paul for the first time in forever! It was really awesome in all--it's been a LONG time--but of course, we had to breach the Marla/Me/Robin topic. And here I thought Paul was Mr. Neutral, which is apparently not the case. He took the opportunity to knock my legs out from under me: "Then I heard Marla's side of the story and was a lot less okay with the situation after that...but I'm not getting involved. It's none of my business." GRAAR.

I actually let it slide pretty well yesterday, but today I found myself really angry. Like, REALLY angry about it. I was at the point where I was almost totally cool with everything, then that little comment threw me off. Which should be a big hint that I wasn't really okay about it. I guess it's just frustrating that I continue to be the sole perpetrator in this, that my name is the one getting kicked around eight months later. Hm.

ANYWAY. I have an awesome week-and-a-half to look forward to: Emily W. moves in tomorrow and Hector gets back Sunday, then I have my last week of work, and THEN SIX FLAGS with Colin, his girlfriend Katie, Robin, Jen, Jess, Ben, and BETSY! It'll be so fun! I can't wait. Then school. CRAP.

But I AM excited, and I can't wait to see everyone! :D Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm working on a very important conversation. :P



Love,

-A.

How could I forget?!

This morning, I totally forgot to tell you guys how awesome my MICA friends are!

Last night, Paul, Marla and Robin came over, and me, my roomies and the others ate some Chinese food to celebrate the end of the semester. I worked from 9-12, amd Robin visited and then walked me back to my apartment, where I found the door locked. That was normal, so I turned my key and tried again. The bolt was done. Again, not too weird, but it was awfully early to be locking up for the night. So, I unlocked that and tried again. The CHAIN lock is done, too! So, then I figure there's something up inside that is not meant for me to see yet.

Me: "Did you know about this?"
Robin: *grin* "Know about what?"

So, Paul comes to the door and says "If I let you in, will you go STRAIGHT to your room?" So, of course, I do. Robin comes in after a few minutes and faces away from my window with me (my window looks straight into the kitchen):

Me: "How long have you guys been planning this?"
Robin: "I have no idea what you're talking about." *grin*

Finally, Betsy knocks on my door, and I turn around to see Paul, Betsy, and Jen ushering in a MASSIVE cake shaped like an alligator's head, covered in green M&Ms with a little sign saying "Cya Later Gator!" and "In a while, Crocodile!" Apparently, they all went to the supermarket as soon as I left for my shift. :) (Minus Marla, who went to a yuppie party in Federal Hill with her fellow fashion designer.) Aww, they're so sweet! So, we all changed into red-and-green (Italian colors, you know) and watched Pineapple Express (or slept though it :P), and Ryan showed up during the movie, which was nice.

___

Robin just called me to tell me he'll miss me.

:)

I'm really going to miss him, too. Not just the kissing part, obviously, but he's really grown to be my best friend this past semester. I don't really talk to anyone the way I talk to him (mostly because he's the first close guy friend I've ever really had). I think we're both like "Who are we going to confide in now?!", because while I love Melissa dearly, I can't talk to her about things with Robin, because she's even more pristine than me. And I she doesn't know the history of my roommates, or my friends at home. I won't have any more Robin to come around or to go to whenever I want to see him, and that's sad. It's like moving away from The Boy Next Door that I grew up with and shared everything with.

:(

Aw, now I'm sad.

Either way, my friends and roommates showed me how loved I am, and how much I'll be missed, and I'm SO grateful for them and their love.

But, I admit, I can't wait to get back to all of you. I've missed you guys, and I feel like we've been deprived of each other since Summer '07.

I love you all, and I'll be nearly home by this time tomorrow! :D

Muah!

-A

P.S. www.betsyvanlangen.com

>>Portfolio
>>Interrobang
>>I'm the third one in: white face with black text. :) Betsy is the first one, with the paint. Jen is covered in eggshells, Ryan in crayon wax, and Robin is PB and J.

"I'm just CRAZY about Tiffany's!"

Well, our NYC trip was very, very successful.

Robin and I got dropped off around 12:30pm in the Upper East Side at Madison Avenue (no GG sightings--sorry!), where we walked and looked into shops for a little while, then crossed through Central Park into the Upper West Side to the Shake Shack, where we got some hamburgers and ate them on the chilly benches nearby.

We went to the Natural History Museum next ('fo free, because Robin had his Warhol Museum ID--hell yes), which was REALLY fun and interesting and it just reminds me how present God is. There was this one part of this display about the creation of the universe that was talking about what triggered the beginnings of life, and it was like "The reason is still unknown", and I was like *snerk :P

Anyway, we posed with this GIANT fossilized turtle ("I like tuhtles"--if you haven't seen it, YouTube it), then saw a prehistoric giant SLOTH.

It was cool. :)

So, then we got on the subway to Fifth Avenue, where we saw a ton on Christmas-themed shop windows. We stopped at Tiffany's, at my request, and I posed by a stuffed albino peacock (one of Lucius Malfoy's, I presume. :P). Inside, we saw this amazingly giant gold, diamond, and peridot necklace. As we were looking at it, a girl about our age came to the counter and asked "How much is this necklace?" With as much distaste in her voice as she could muster, the saleslady said, "$385,000." And the girl was like "Oh", all disappointed, like she was going to buy that GIANT necklace for a reasonable price! WTF? "Aw, mom said I could only spend $380,000 this year! D:"

Then we wandered into Starbucks and got a light dinner, then walked over to Rockefeller Center to see the tree, and nearly got crushed in the mob. :) The tree was lovely, and it reminded me how present God is, once again. :D

So, we caught the subway again to SoHo, and met the bus. Robin and I slept pretty much the whole way home, which was lovely. Then I slept for twelve MORE hours, and did some of my finals today. :)

Also, Betsy went to H-Mart (Asian food store) this morning with Paul, and apparently tried to convice him that Robin and I have a thing. :/ I'm not sure if he believed her or not, but he mentioned it to Marla, who in turn told Robin. Robin said that Marla was very, very skeptical, so that's good, but we really have to cool it.

It's sounding like Betsy needs to shut her trap, because Jen indicated that Betsy told her that I vent about Jen's relationship DUMBNESS to Robin. GOD. AS IF YOU DON'T, BETSY. I'll need to take that up with her.

Alright, I love you guys, and I'm going to direct you to my Facebook, where I have posted my birthday pictures.

OH, one more thing. Chase posted on my wall, wanting me to call him and catch up. What do you guys think? I'm curious about his doings, but not INTERESTED. I more want to gloat about how well I'm doing. :P

Love you,

Alyssa

My birthday festivities.

I had a shift on the 15th from 9pm-12am, so I turned 20 while sitting at the Commons desk. I ACTUALLY turned 20 at 4:59pm, while I was in Robin's bed.

I woke up at about 10, and just laid there until my dad called at 10:30, then got up and got myself to CLEANING. Our apartment was pretty gross (piles of dishes, clutter, dust, hair), and even though it was my birthday, I was happy to get all the crap out for 1) my party and 2) the girl I may sublet to who is coming to see the apartment tomorrow evening. It's now a trillion times more beautiful, thanks to MOI. :)

Unfortunately, Jen had to take the opportunity to be a complete ASS and talk to her ex-boyfriend on the phone and get into yet ANOTHER fight and cry all over Betsy for twenty minutes while I forced myself not to go in and yell at her. I SWEAR. Jen--Dylan always warns you that he's going to treat you badly. Boys always warn us. Yes, it sucks that he treats you like that, but you choose to engage in it time and time again, so it's your fault. I'm unafraid to say that you getting hurt by Dylan is your fault. If you had just broken it off in the first place instead of fucking him when he visited over fall break, you wouldn't be in this mess. And yet she STILL intends to take him home for Thanksgiving and pretend they're still together. LAME.

ANYWAY, I vented about it to Betsy for an hour or so while Jen ran out to get brunch, and then at about 2:30, Robin called me to tell me that his bus got in 45 minutes earlier than expected--a lovely birthday surprise. He had been in New York to see Andrew WK perform with a string quartet. So, Betsy and I picked him up, and I hung out at Robin's while Betsy and Jen started the cake.

I made it home around 5:30, then helped a mopey Jen dress (she looked all gorgeous :D), then Betsy (who has the most bomb-ass [to borrow a Lauren Term] gold Dolce high-heeled oxfords I've ever seen), then, at about 6:30, I started curling my hair. I was ready by seven, and Robin showed up around 7:20, then Erin and Melissa a few minutes after then. But, of course, my birthday seems to end up being the day people have the least respect for showing up to places on time, so Marla, Paul, and Tiff didn't get there until 8:30. And THEY had the menus! Grrr. So, we ordered our food (only five of us ended up eating out of the group of eleven), and started cake while we were waiting (Hot!Ryan [looking HOT] and Colin joined us for that). The cake was SO rich and tasty. :)

Our food showed up, and we laughed A LOT, about art kids, mostly. :) It was an incredibly pleasant evening, and I have leftovers to look forward to when I get home. :D

I'll try and have some pictures of my HAWT outfit and my AWESOME shoes by this afternoon. :) Thanks for the birthday wishes, you guys! Love you!

-Alyssa

PICSPAM!

FYI, you're about to get slammed with awesome photos. Be warned. :P


Me, seeing how convincing my costume (now more doll than marionette) is on Betsy's bed:


RIDICULOUS EYELASHES.


A better picture of my makeup:


The full costume, bloomers and all:


Robin and Betsy (Put faces to the names)!


Mah roomies, Betsy and Jen!


Me and Robin--guess what his costume is. If you get it, you get a cookie.


Awwww, we love each other. :)


Me and Betsy (as Mickey Mouse)!


Hot!Ryan as Steve Jobs, and Betsy. Isn't he hot? Am I right? :P


Me and my best buds at MICA (minus Marla): Me (and my boobs, which have their own zip code in this picture), Betsy, Jen (who made that Belle dress from scratch), Robin, Paul (as the most hilarious Pokemon trainer of all time), and Tiff (as a Battle Royale kickass chick):




Thoughts? Comments? Love you guys!

-Alyssa

P.S. Oh, by the way--Dan Wolf has a new squeeze. I'm sure those of you friends with him on Facebook saw the pictures of them smooching. Tasteful.:P

It don't mean a thing...

I did a 6-9am shift, then fell back to sleep until 2:30 pm. Ooooops.

Marla and I went swing dancing tonight at a restaurant called The Austin Grille in Canton. It was amazing.

The lesson itself, which was for beginners, went from 8-9. I did some swing dancing with Mr. Zupan (remember him?) back in tenth grade, but not much since then. It was lacklustre--I knew most of the steps (on instructor told me to stop leading my partner--the man is supposed to lead), and some of the guys were a little creepy. But, it was short, and I refreshed myself of the basics, which is always good.

Then, at 9, more and more people started to show. And these people were good. Some were pro-level. Including one particularly infectious dancer, who was tall and lean with well-tailored pants and bones like rubber bands. He was SO cute, and awesome to watch. He only danced with girls who knew what they were doing at first, then he danced with a few beginners, then he asked Marla. I was happy, because I love her and he's cute, but I was also like "Bitch!", because I'd been making eyes at him since he'd walked in the door (in his wool herringbone overcoat, I might add. ;) ).

So, he kept dancing, and I trained my eyes on him, and Marla started noticing this REALLY familiar guy (I thought) who kept looking at her. She danced with him once and found out his name was John. I danced with him once and found out he was from out-of-state. So much for familiarity.

FINALLY, Cute Infectious Dancer asked me for a dance. I was like "Yes, absolutely." :D His name is Craig, and he's been dancing for 10 years (!!!). He didn't like grad school and decided to go dancing instead (!!!!!!!!! Note: He looks about 25. If he went to grad school 10 years ago, he's almost 35. Sheeeeeit.). He was patient with my lack of knowledge and said as long as both people are smiling and no one falls on their ass (unless it's on purpose), it doesn't matter.

At the end of the dance, he thanked me and said that he knows he gets busy, but to find him for another dance at some point. :)))))))))

Unfortunately, we left pretty shortly after, BUT, as I was leaving, I caught his eye and waved, and he did the little "I notice you" eyebrows. :P I'll see him later. ;)

Marla and I waited a little while outside of the Grille because Marla was too chicken to give John her number outright. Of course, he emerged, but he was giving his name to some girl in T-strap heels and a striped skirt. Marla was disappointed. :(

So, we got back to MICA, and visited Tiff and Paul, who were at the desk. I slip upstairs to pee, and as I descend the stairs, I see another MICA girl, Sarah, who'd been at the Grille with none other than JOHN-FROM-OUT-OF-STATE! THAT was why he'd been familiar--he was Sarah's guest, and I'd checked him out of the Commons that morning during my 6-9am shift!

Now, Marla was properly mortified, and John basically ignored us while we gaped. Now, according to his ID, he's from New Mexico, so he's definitely just visiting Sarah (who may or may not be his girlfriend). Aw, sorry Marles!

OH-KAY. Just found Craig on Facebook. Stalk time.

Love you all!

-Alyssa

ETA: OKAY SRSLY? He's ten years older than me and he's married. WTF, world? He went to Pitt for crying out loud, and he's the Director of Music at a CHURCH. DARN YOU WORLD!

FR SRS. TISNF.

!

September 26, 2008



Dear Alyssa,



We are pleased to announce that MICA has accepted your application to the MICA@SACI honors program for the spring 2009 semester. Congratulations! We will now send your application to SACI. SACI will be in touch with you directly regarding important logistical details of your semester in Florence.

:D:D:D:D:D

So, I got accepted, and even better: I'm still eligible for SACI's big scholarship. :)

This is awesome. I was here at the desk with Robin and Paul when I opened the e-mail, and I just thought it was about the scholarship part, which the International Affairs officer called me about earlier today already, but I read the opening lines, and this understanding just seeped through me, and this contentment and satisfaction welled up. It was really great, and Paul and Robin were happy for me, although they said they would miss me. :)

This is really cool. Dear Lord, let this pan out properly, please!

:)

In other news, I talked to Mom about Chase's visit, and she insists that Chase comes and talks to her. I expressed that I thought it was silly that it should be a requirement, and I didn't like that since Chase will do what I ask of him, it comes down to me choosing my relationship with him or compromising the one I have with my Mom. She assured me that it wouldn't change our relationship if I chose to tell Chase not to talk to her, that she would still love me and I'd still be her daughter.

I know this, but if the contempt is already breeding (and it is), there will be a change whether I speed the process or not. She already doesn't want me dating him, him going to talk to her isn't going to change that. I also expressed that while I'm her daughter and I know she wants to protect me, I'm also her nearly-TWENTY year old daughter, and I should be allowed to make my own decisions regarding MY relationship with Chase.

I see my Mom's concerns, and, honestly, I want her and Chase to talk, but if she's already set on disapproving of him until she deems me old enough to date him (yes, she said that), then what's the point?

I told her I would tell Chase to go talk to her, but now I'm thinking of calling her back and telling her to mind her own business, basically. She said herself that she needed to start transitioning out of "Active Parenting" and into "Consulting".

Also, she asked me point-blank if Chase said "I love you". Naturally, I couldn't lie, but I framed it by saying that I told him what was what, and she took it WAY better than I expected.

I got pretty emotional during the talk--although I don't think she could tell I was getting choked up. You see, my Mom and I never have these kind of conflicts. I am very interested in making my family proud of me, and in showing them I can make good decisions for myself. I hate when I disappoint them, and I hate it even more when I KNOW I'm not making a poor choice, and they're still disappointed. Sheesh.

What do you guys think about the situation? Be honest!

Love,
Alyssa

Hey, kiddos.

I don't have much time before work, but I wanted to get in some blogging before I leave.

Well, work is going really well--I really enjoy it and I like the people I work with (mostly)--unfortunately, there aren't enough hours for me, so I'm getting another job soon. I have to keep a lookout in the next few days for places I might be able to apply.

Only one more month of rent to be paid on my old place! :D Then I'm done with that crap, and I can ceremoniously delete my landlord and my super from my phone. Hooray!

Speaking of school, I got a phone call from my friend Paul Capetola the other night (you met him, Em). It was SO good to talk to him. I missed him, and my other friends from school. I feel more in-the-loop when I talk to them.

In relation to my last entry--that's (mostly) sorted out, although a related problem has surfaced that we're dealing with. Right now is just about protecting and taking care of this person for the time being. But, I know it will turn out alright.

Went to my cousin's grad party last night, and I met my eldest cousin's tres hot friend Mike. But it was only half way through the night that I was told he had a girlfriend. Dammit. :P

I miss you guys! ['You guys' being Drea and Emily and Bri and Abby.] I'm all alone now! Which is okay because it leaves me more time to work, I guess, but it would be nice if we were together. BUT, I bet you guys are having a good time and/or getting things done, so it's okay for now. But, we're pretty much spending everyday together when you guys get back.

I'm just sayin'. :P

Well, I have to go, but I'll post again soon. :)

--Alyssa