Family Update!

My Mom got married! Woooo! :D

She and her fiance made a last-minute decision to just go ahead and get married already, and planned a small ceremony in just 9 days! It went over really well, and we're all really pleased to be moving ahead!

There was an after-party hosted by one of Mom's close friends, which was lovely (and tasty!), although I was a little frustrated to get made fun of by my Mom, sister and brother for legally having a beer (they basically treated it like a big joke, or like it was surreal, since I'm such a goodie-two-shoes, I guess).

Yet, it's not weird for teenage Lauren to have a cigarette with Mom four minutes later? Also they've both been shooting tequila since age 13? Just struck me as odd.

Despite the awesome occasion of the marriage, other family drama has arisen:

My family (I'm referring to my immediate family, but I guess this applies to the aunts and uncles, etc. as well) has an tendency to be all talk--myself included. Thanks to rampant family drama (owing partially to my engagement, but more to prior family issues), we've all been in this knot of passive-aggression for--in some cases--years. It's a mess. Everyone has done something to hurt someone else (my mom is usually the one getting offended, I find), but no one will talk about it, and just lets it fester into an open sore of tension and bitterness.

In this case, my aunt said something nasty about my Mom to my sister, who chose to tell Mom about it instead of saying something directly to my aunt. Then, in turn, Mom is hurt and upset, but refuses to directly address my aunt, etc. This is riding on the heels on some other comments of my aunt's...

When I hear what has been said, I suspect that my aunt's venom has to do with her disagreement of how Mom reacted to my engagement to John. My aunt was the first to hear--direct from Mom--how she felt about the situation, and was the one who sort of warned the rest of Mom's siblings about Mom's attitude, in the hopes that I would receive some support from family if I wasn't getting it at home. My aunt expressed to me a few times her disagreement, and definitely said things she shouldn't have--although I wasn't going to be the one to upset Mom with them for no reason. Unfortunately, she chose to say something rude about Mom's reaction in front of KJ, and KJ--being a loyal son--went directly to Mom as well.

So, I felt responsible for my engagement (and Mom's reaction) inciting my aunt's feelings and comments, so I took it upon myself to me direct and cut to the heart of the matter. I sent a message to my aunt, making it clear that I understood communicating her disagreement with Mom's style, but badmouthing her repeatedly was a wrong move, and that I hoped she would make it right. Mom didn't know I sent the message.

This was two weeks ago. I mentioned the message to Mom this morning, as Mom brought up the situation in general. Mom thought I should have asked Lauren first if it was okay to contact my aunt (wtf?), but was grateful that I took the steps to defend her. (You mean, took the steps to be direct for the first time in our family?)

As fate would have it, I received a reply a few hours later--and apparently Mom got a voicemail. My aunt was "irate"--Mom's words--and apparently had no idea what I was talking about. I replied back, apologizing if I came off as rude and outlined the facts I had that made me send the message in the first place. I told her if I got it wrong to please correct me, but I get the feeling she was surprised I defended Mom at all, since Mom is not supportive of my engagement and my aunt is.

We'll see. I AM sorry if I came off as rude, but I'm not sorry for calling someone out on a nasty comment about my mom. Just saying. Honestly, it should've been addressed as soon as it came out of my aunt's mouth. I guess that's what I get for making the effort to diffuse the situation.

Friday the 13th--as unlucky a day as it ever was. :P

-A.

ENGAGED WOOOOO!!!!!

As most of you already know, John and I got engaged this past weekend at the end of my week-long visit. It was wonderful and awesome, and I will describe the whole experience, but I'm in the process of creating an engagement/wedding blog now, apart from my personal one. I'll still update this one, but I'll be using the wedding one for wedding details/inspiration/musing. Once I get it up and running, my first post will be all about the engagement, and I'll link you right over.

ETA: Here you go! Up and running!

But, I CAN describe the trip in the meantime. Mom and I headed out to Maryland with Robert and KJ on May 28th so I could complete my move, pay my landlord (yay!), and meet up with John. John drove down from New Jersey to help me move out, and to attend my godmother's daughter Mary's graduation from the Naval Academy.

Here's us, with Mary in her dress whites, now an Ensign! The graduation was long (we had to be in the DOOR by 9 after standing outside in line for more than a half-hour), but the weather was PERFECT (although John and I got a teensy bit sunburned). Mary's party was afterwards, and I got to meet her handsome boyfriend Van Gordon (just a nickname--he goes by Gordon).

John and I headed up to Gambrills to his aunt and uncle's place after the party and spent the night there--Richie and Mandee surprised us by coming by the next day. I've written about them: Richie is John's cousin who also attends the Naval Academy, and Mandee is his gorgeous fiancée. They're a year younger than we are, and got engaged in July of 2009, but that's only because they wanted to make sure all of the midshipmen could attend the wedding before getting shipped out to their assignments a month after graduation. And since you can't get married while you're enrolled in the Naval Academy, they scheduled the wedding for one week after Richie's graduation. Intense!

So we visited briefly with them and got on the road to New Jersey, where we spent the night at John's best friend Dave's and met a few of his friends. we went out to the beach for about twenty minutes that night--it was gorgeous, even if it was chilly. Looking at the ocean in the dark is scary, but it's exciting. We went back to Cranford, John's hometown, the next day and then to John's OTHER aunt and uncle's place about an hour away for dinner and, the following day, a Memorial Day picnic. Lots of cute babies running around, throwing Cheerios at the Koi pond. :)

We met up with another one of John's close friends, Brian (or B. Ho, as I've tagged him here before) and drove to a pier on the seaside where we had an awesome lunch at a restaurant that I sadly can't remember the name of (they had this specialty butter made with garlic, oregano, dill, salt, and pepper, and maybe paprika? It was SO GOOD). We also introduced him to Wizard People, Dear Reader, which, if you're a Harry Potter fan and you haven't seen it, you should do that ASAP.

The rest of the week was basically spent hanging out and watching back Doctor Who episodes to get me caught up (we finished the whole first season) until Saturday, when set-up for John's grad party when into overdrive. The whole day was spent moving/cooking/assembling/rummaging through the garage to find every little thing necessary for the celebration, which came together without a hitch. Even better, I got to see a bunch of John's friends that I haven't seen in months, like Tracey and Marie (more on her in a moment), and John even surprised me with the awesome Colin M. Ford, who came all the way from Baltimore for the party! It was an awesome time, and I'm so glad I was there.

There was one person in John's life who did NOT attend, but that's mostly because she wasn't invited, and she isn't technically in John's life anymore. John's ex, Christine (tagged 'X'--which they actually call her, along the lines of 'Xmas') has been making things plenty weird for those of John's friends who are still in touch with him. I'd spoken to one of her close friends, Kim, in the past, who confirmed that Christine has brought me up, at least, and the fact that she's uncomfortable with Kim and I being friends (jerk). Dave also told us that X called him right before our graduation and asked him "Why did John cut me out of his life?" (never mind that she was the one to unfriend us on Facebook three months ago), "Why doesn't he like me anymore?" Sigh. Because you broke up TWO YEARS AGO. She has a boyfriend, too--sure, he looks like a potato, but they've been together almost as long as John and I have, and it's just not fair to him.

Now, at the party, Marie indicated that as soon as Christine found out about John's grad party (through me, actually--I asked Marie on her wall if she was coming--I didn't really think about Christine and Marie still being friends), Christine started calling and texting Marie after about a year of not doing anything of the kind. Obviously Marie knew what was up, so she didn't bother to return the messages--one particular voicemail was Christine saying that she "wants [Marie's] opinion on something that's been tormenting [her] for awhile". SIGH.

Marie eventually got it out of her in text--X was confused about John: first he "chews [her] out" via Facebook message (which he did, but only to tell her to stop being so desperate and weird and start treating him like a friend, NOT like an ex), and then he acts all interested in her life again! (AKA, he sent her a Happy Birthday message nearly SIX months after the initial "chewing out".) This girl. She is just so in love with John STILL--which I really can't blame her for entirely, John is a lot to lose--but it's been two years, she's had other boyfriends/hookups, she's IN A RELATIONSHIP, and still pining. It's unhealthy and weird.

I would have absolutely no issues with John and Christine being friends. Zero. If she could just stop acting like a stalker, we'd be good to go.

After the party, Tracey and Marie and a bunch of cousins and aunts and uncles stayed over, and that was the night John proposed. :D More on that another time.

The following day was all celebration and a lot of driving. We went to a wonderful church that morning, and packed up our stuff and got on the road to Pittsburgh, which is when I found out that Marie had sent Christine a looooong message, basically telling X how much she was missing out on by being so weird to John and I. It was very straightforward and mature. I was super-impressed with Marie. Hopefully Christine doesn't take it the wrong way--but that's pretty inevitable, I'd say.

So, we get back to Pittsburgh and I am TERRIFIED, but manage to tell my mom and Robert and KJ about the engagement--Mom reacted pretty well, although she's been sort of tense around us for the past couple of days. I called Lauren and Dad and told them, too--Lauren sounded positively disgusted on the phone: "ARE YOU SERIOUS? With, like, a RING?" (Imagine the word 'Ew' hanging unspoken after that sentence, and you can picture her tone. :P) We also told Joey V. and the Ruzichs, who were very excited for us. Telling people is the best part. :)

So, families and close (in proximity) friends aside, we told Facebook Monday morning, and have gotten a pretty steady stream of positive comments. Let me tell those of you reading that we are not getting married for close to two years--we're not jumping into anything here, despite popular opinion. Have faith in us!

So now we're home, and having lunch with my mom's parents today before John drives back to New Jersey. :((((((

I hope you're all having as good of a week as I've been! So much love to all of you!

-A.

Weddingweddingwedding.

So, I basically get to do makeovers tonight. It's going to be RIDICULOUSNESS. But also awesome.

Keep an eye out.

-A.

The End of the MICA Chapter

Classes and finals are (essentially) over for me!

My plans for the next few days are:

-Hang the commencement show.
-Start packing.
-Attend a super-fun Victorian tea party.
-Go to a wedding! As a bridesmaid!
-GRADUATE!

I had my interview with Sarah Vinas, the art director of Glamour magazine, yesterday. Overall I think it went well! I was a little intimidated at first, but she proved to be really personable (but professional), and she offered some good advice--some which I'd heard from others, but that's normal. My biggest concern (and don't I know it)is settling on a style/media/vision. I need to focus myself. This summer will be an excellent time to explore that, so I'm looking forward to it. :) Sarah offered to e-mail me with a few references for people/places that could potentially be interested it my work, and offered to be a contact for me (which was very generous). Successful, I think!

Oh my gosh, here comes real life!

The rest of yesterday was really great as well (apart from getting up at 5:45 for a shift). I got to class at 10 after a rushed shower after my shift (which ends at 9). I'd dressed carefully (doy, art director of GLAMOUR), and got to the studio as a bunch of people were laying out awesome food for everyone to have during the day. I waited around for a bit, talked to Joey V. on the phone, had my interview, and had to immediately jet off to Target (to return that dress) and to Ikea (to get frames for the commencement show).

The drives to both places were so quick, John and I didn't get lost, and both ventures were fast and easy. I was so happy! So, we decided to go to PF Chang's for a late lunch/early dinner, which made me even happier. :D Because I'd woken up early and had such a rush-around sort of day, I fell asleep right in the car! So unlike me.

Oh, and then John and I watched The Power Rangers Movie. I know you're jealous.

In other news, Betsy is coming up next week for graduation! I haven't seen her since Winter Break! Unfortunately the wedding will make me miss her for the first few days, but it'll be a fun time! I'm still in this weird in-between where I'm aware of the end, but I'm still doing so many things I can't absorb it yet. I wonder how I'll be when I get to that point. Eep!

Hope you're all well!

-A.

Graduation Weekend, and 'Why I Love Brian', Part 26

The reality of graduation is starting to hit me. UGH.

Actually, I'm really excited. There are some amazing things happening in my life, even alongside the money troubles and long-distance drama. I'm excited to come back to Sewickley again for the summer and a bit beyond. Granted, it was NOT my (or my mom's) plan for me to move back in--I had no desire to work backwards. However, I'm embracing it because it's necessary.

My only issue is the stress of finding a job and earning money. Mom is eager for me to get work in the arts right away, but that's difficult enough as it is without A) a license, or B) (even if I had one) a car to use. I have a friend, Sara Beth, who works at ModCloth--a great creative outlet and Pittsburgh company, but it looks like they're only hiring for jobs that are a bit out of my skill set--web development and management stuff. And Joey V. works at The Cafe in Sewickley, which apparently pays well. I've never served, but it's a nice place (although I've heard the drama is intense--at least while Chase worked there).

I'm not too worried, but I don't like the pressure being applied--it's unnecessary, especially when I haven't even gotten home to survey the options.

However, all of that is on the back burner, as we mount an attack on the monstrosity known as 'Graduation Weekend'. John and I want to blend the families for graduation dinner, which his mom is totally up for, but...my mom is hesitant. In part due to nerves about my growing up and moving quickly, etc., and in part about wanting it to be a family day, and in another (I'm willing to bet) larger part, money ["I'd be responsible to foot the bill at whatever restaurant they chose for you, me, and my parents"]. Which I completely sympathize with, but...not the best excuse, as Mimi and Pappy have ALWAYS offered (cheerfully) to treat us. Is it a pride issue? She did say she wasn't interested in Mimi and Pappy paying. It's whatever.

However, she acknowledged without prompting that John and I are going to get married, so I was pleased about that.

Mom, instead, wants to get drinks with John's family and have dinner at my aunt's (who she has not even consulted yet, by the way). If that's the way it has to be, I'm okay with it, but I don't really get her hesitance. I don't want our families to be strangers to each other!

Not to mention the crunch of hanging my show between the 8th and 12th, coming home on the 13th, rehearsal dinner on the 14th, wedding the 15th, home on the 16th! Insanity! But it'll be fun. :)

@@@

For some humor, Brian and I had this hysterical (to us) conversation about founding a religion based on the song 'Bet on It' from High School Musical 2.

Seriously. Watch this first to understand what the hell we're talking about.

Me: [on 'Do It For Our Country' from Grease 2] It's not 'Bet On It' quality, but good.

Brian: Well, to be fair, nothing is. Ever. Past, present or future.

Me: Soooo true. That song changed my life and the way I look at modern movement.

Brian: If we were asked to make a time capsule of human kind to send out into space, 'Bet On It' would be my number one choice

Me: Absolutely. SO GOOD.

Brian: It represents music, movie, tv, art, one of our future Gods in his early days.

Me: Totally. Can we found betonitism?

Brian: It's a perfect choice for a time capsule. We will base an entire philosophy upon it.

Me: We'll be Boltonites.

Brian: I'm really liking this.

Me: Like 'Peace be with you', 'Bet on it' will be our blessing.

Brian: We can have a 'Bolton's Prayer':

"We will not talk at you"

"We will not get in your head"

"We will listen to our own heart talking"

"We will count on our own self instead"

Me: YESSSSS.

And when we initiate people, we'll have a questionnaire:

"Did you ever:

A) Doubt your dreams would ever come true?

B) Blame the world but never blame you?"

Brian: Hahahahahha, this is too much.

Me: Oh! And "Did you ever:

C) Push away the ones you should have held close?

D) Let go?

E) Not know?"

Brian: Hahahaha, I just got to that part in the song... as I have it on repeat now.

Me: And when they get accepted, they'll have to say, "I will never try to live a lie again".

Brian: The choreography just blows my mind.

Me: The guy must have been on 'luudes when he made it up.

Brian: Seriously. He woke up that day and was like, "MAN have I got a great idea for this dance sequence. We'll have him dancing on the golf course... and inexplicably start running and doing bizarre jumps every few steps... It'll look GREAT!"

Me: "Question Three: When met with a golf course, you do what?:

A) Throw the sand from the sandtraps emoishly.

B) Prance around doing complicated leaps.

C) Watch yourself reflectively in the water hazard."

Brian: D) All of the above.

Me: YES. Trick question. It is ALWAYS all of the above... Because Troy does whatever it takes.

@@@

We have fun. :)

Hope you're all well!

-A.

Just Like A Prayer...

Things have been going a lot more smoothly. I still have a lot to do (although tonight and tomorrow will take care of that, mostly), and there are only three weeks until the Wedding/Graduation!

Speaking of graduation, I intended to wear my Nanette Lepore to graduation, but then I went of Target.com and found this amazing number. It was such a great deal and the planets had aligned so well for me (on sale, free shipping, left in my size alone) that after sleeping on it, I decided to buy it for graduation. :) And I'll DEFINITELY wear it again, and again, and again...

I got to sit in on the senior animators reviewing their films so-far--John's looks really great! I can't wait until he finishes and inserts the remaining scenes!

I'm looking forward to coming home how--Em will be there, and I'm really looking forward to spending some time with her after barely seeing her for the past year! :P Apart from that, I have a friend who works at ModCloth, and she's a great contact--maybe I could work there and get to look at awesome clothes all the time? We'll see.

Hope you're all well! Good luck with finals/thesis!

-A.

Here comes the bridesmaid...

I received my bridesmaid dress yesterday, and I must say it was both better and worse than I imagined. This is it:

Granted, the color is digitally overlaid, but it's not too far off. The lime in my dress is only a few shades cooler than the digital approximation. However, the dress fits PERFECTLY, and I'm grateful for that (no need to spend any more on this dress than absolutely necessary). The cut is actually really flattering, and it's far less shiny than the picture indicates. Whew.

Just...the COLOR. I look like lettuce. And not even spring mix. Iceberg.

I decided I can shorten it someday and be Tinkerbell for Halloween. Or I could, you know, sell it. :P

Last night was a welcome bit of fun--John, Colin, Katie, Robin and I went to Turps (a local sports bar) for their half-price burger night, then to Rita's, then Katie and I kicked the boys out to watch Glee. :P ACTUALLY, they were just too lame to stay (although John watched it with me Tuesday night, so he's forgiven). I love having a group I can call home base, even if we only found each other in the last year of MICA. After all, I found my best friends from high school the summer after we graduated!

Not to wax too nostalgic (especially since we haven't even graduated yet!), but I'm really hopeful that we'll all stay close as we head out in our separate directions. Thankfully we all have Luke and Jessica's wedding next year, and eventually my own and maaaybe Colin and Katie's? ;)

I believe we can do it. :)

Early morning means a long day--hanging my senior show (which isn't the same as the commencement show) and watching more presentations, and just being thankful that today isn't last week. There's still a long way to go, but I'm learning how to take it better, slower.

Thank God I have so many blessings in the shape of John and my friends and family!

-A.

Feeling much better. :) And, Why I Love Brian, Part 23

I was right on the PMS front--it just magnified the fears/stresses/emotions, just way more severely than I was used to. I motivated and had a morning walk in the sunshine and immediately felt much better. :)

Lauren and I also had a nice long phone conversation and got to catch up, which is always great :D I love laughing with Lauren.

I grabbed coffee with Mike Waz as well and heard about his wedding plans thus far, which makes me even more excited for when I get to make mine. :P

Just wanted to update that I'm mostly back to normal before my Skype date with John! :D Yay!

Love you all,

A.

P.S. And to lighten the mood further:

Brian: If Katy Perry doesn't jump out of my cake tomorrow, I'm gonna be seriously miffed.

Why I Love Brian, Part Twenty-Two

Brian

i like to dream of a world where i'm zac efron

I'm heading home Friday for Spring Break, Rheanna's Bridal Shower, and Brian's Birthday! (Although I'm a dummy who scheduled my return bus trip on the day. Idiot.) Maybe I'll see some of you there? John is also a butt who is going to England without me. (But he's going to have a great time visiting his friends and he'll be bringing be back a LOT of chocolate. :D)

Love,

-A.

Pumpkin Picking and Wedding Accoutrements.

I forgot to mention the awesome time I had picking pumpkins at Baugher's Farm on Sunday afternoon with Robin, Colin, Katie, Ben, Nicolette, and Jen! (Shame on me!)

We went up around 1:30 and found the place to be PACKED, waited in line a few times for the hay ride up to the pumpkin patch (which was fine, because the weather was PERFECT). We took a lot of absurd photos (including an extended photo shoot where Robin and Colin switched shirts and Robin climbed all over the broken tractors pretending to be a farmer). I'll post some when I get them. :)

We all got the perfect pumpkins (Jen had a huge one, then she saw an abandoned one while we were in line for the hay ride back, and spent ten minutes deciding which one she wanted), and got some food (yummy hot dogs, hamburgers, and fries), then checked out the marketplace and tasted some amazing (FREE!) apple cider and fudge. We also acted like little kids and took photos in the 'face-sticky-outie' things (You know what I'm talking about), and got a hilarious video of Colin playing on the kids ride-y tractor.

:D I love my friends.

Even better, on Wednesday we're having a Pumpkin Carving/Seed Roasting/Pie Making party (with the apples Colin and Katie picked from the same farm the week before)! I need to prep my design! (I bet Colin will have something appropriately geeky and type-based. :P Graphic Designers. Sheesh.)

ALSO, I finally got some info back on Alexandre and Rheanna's wedding! I got a message from Rheanna with all of the bridesmaids attached, so we can start being all buddy-buddy. I'm excited. :)

Another good thing--I may be doing an illustration job for a Baltimore sports blog! At this point, it REALLY looks like it needs a designer instead of an illustrator, but if they pay me, I don't really care! :P I like Baltimore, I like sports, I like drawing! And I like money. It's a win-win-win.

Betsy is coming this weekend, too! So much excitement! And yet, I need to be concentrated on my thesis, etc. Signed up for ArtMarket, and I have some stuff to assemble.

Love you all, and I hope you're well.

-A.

Snatched from (Wedding Cabaret)

From "The Irrational Season" by Madeleine L'Engle

But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take…It is indeed a fearful gamble…Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take…If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation…It takes a lifetime to learn another person…When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.

(Found here.)

-A.

Who wants firsts when you can have bests?

I am very happy, but also working hard to catch up to the work I need to do!

I had a really fun and surprising weekend--I received a Save-the-Date for a high school friend's wedding--Alexandre--and with that was a handwritten letter from his bride, Rheanna, who wrote that they were grateful I'd still be attending the wedding despite the time crunch (the wedding is May 15, 2010--I graduate May 17th), and asked me if I would do her the honor of being a bridesmaid!

Now, I met Rheanna once, about two years ago--we got along great, as two bookish nerds are bound to, but we barely had any contact after that. I can only assume that Alexandre suggested me--I called him a week and a half ago and we talked about the wedding and about the proposal, etc, and I guess he must've been affected by my enthusiasm, and mentioned it to Rheanna! I thought that she might need more girls to balance out if Alexandre had a lot of groomsmen or something, but apparently I'm only one of four! I'm totally honored and excited--my first peer wedding and I'm a bridesmaid!

I admit, I hesitated--after all, I barely know her, and Alexandre and I are friends, but we weren't all that close in high school. However, I WAS the first person to know about Alexandre's feelings for Rheanna, and the first person to encourage him to ask her out, so that's something. :) I'm really excited! My wedding blog obsession is going to go into overtime. :P

Also, John and I celebrated our one-month anniversary! We're not going to be queer and celebrate every month--the next one will be our 6 month. It was really great--we grocery shopped together and he made this amazing carbonara and I made homemade whipped cream with strawberries. It felt good. :)

Also, I am lame for liking Emily Osment's (Haley Joel's sis!) version of "Once Upon A Dream". It's blasphemous, but SO CATCHY.

The play is also coming together really, really well. :D We had our first proper full-cast rehearsal, and we ran through the whole show, which went exceptionally well. I'm happy! If you want to come see it (AND YOU BETTER) it is November 13th and 14th here at MICA. DO IT.

More soon!

Love,

-A.

Another Weird Dream.

The night before last, I dreamt that I was on a bus with Sarah Coleman--who was with me in Italy--for some sort of trip. We passed one house--I saw a creepy, bug-eyed man in a light blue shirt the front window, and a split-second later he was in the doorway. A ghost.

I pointed it out to Sarah as the bus parallel-parked in front of the house--he was in the doorway, then his image jumped into the window again. We got off the bus as the sun was setting, and we saw the same phenomena happen as we walked by. Window, door. Freaked out, we averted our eyes and scurried past the hedge that lined the edge of the property. I glanced back.

A scarf-sized square of black fabric was floating out from behind the hedge, following us. I turned away again, trying to ignore it. A few moments later, I looked again. It was gone. I touched my hair--the scarf had settled onto my head like a veil. It was white now, and edged in lace.

We rounded a corner, and I found myself at an outdoor funeral that looked like a wedding. All the women had the veils.

And then I woke up. Creepy.

Comments from my mom's professional director friends about Ink. Woo!

"I watched your daughter's film. She was a really good choice for the part, very sweet, natural and out of this guy's league, but she still played approachable enough to buy her response at the end. There were a couple technical problems, the editing could have been a lot tighter, and the characters weren't set up well enough through the direction at the beginning, but all and all a very good job and interesting twist, which is the basis for a successful short film."

"Yes, she did a nice job! She's as photogenic as her mom, you can see the resemblance. Is she an acting student?"

:D What a pleasant surprise!

Yesterday was a good day after I posted the previous entry--I went to Paper Moon for the tasty hamburger I was denied on Thursday, and staked out Charm City Cakes with Abi (John's English friend who leaves today :D:), John, Cara (John's friend with a propensity to overshare), and her new boyfriend (via OKcupid) Tevis (who is surprisingly handsome and half-Asian).

Cara was particularly entertaining at Paper Moon, and decided that it was a great idea to talk about past bad dates on her third date with Tevis. To make this even better, one of the dates was with a diaper fetishist, and the other ended up with her in hives (that one took place in the last month, I think). However, Tev seemed unphased, and even more attracted to her than before, so...good for them? Although this is only the start.

After lunch, we went into Fells Point and visited Killer Trash, this famous thrift store (John Waters loves it, apparently), where I found my wedding dress. Not really, obviously, but I saw this short-sleeved, scoopneck white dress with this long flowy skirt, and I guess it occured to me that it could be wedding dress potential for someone, but I just wanted to try it on because it's pretty. So, I did, and I was kind of blown away. It fit me almost perfectly (the top was cut wrong, or maybe my boobs just take over life), and I admit, I looked pretty amazing. Even Tev was like "You're radiating at all of us!" I never used to understand why people cried at the sight of themselves/loved ones while trying on wedding gowns, but in that moment, I understood (I didn't cry!). But, it was pretty cheap fabric and $34 that I do not have, so I left it there, but got some photo evidence via Cara's camera, which I'll post when I can.

After that, we went for Mr. Yogato Frozon Yogurt, which we each got for 10% off for answering a few history/art trivia questions. We had to name four 20th Century art movements (we helped each other out on that one), and I got "What is another name for the Mona Lisa?". This stumped me for a few minutes, until the girl gave me the hint that it was in another language, and all on my own, I remembered "La Gioconda". :)

John, Abi, and John's roommate Ari (a funny and endearingly awkward Jewish boy) came over last night and we watched Disney movies (The Emperor's New Groove and Aladdin) and had a few beers in honor of Abi's heading back to England. I conked out during both movies, and ended up only getting about 4.5 hours of sleep last night. Woo!

I also got an amusing call from John's best friend Dave, who I met when I went to New Jersey to see Harry Potter 6, and have kept in touch with since. Amusing is only a part of the call though, which was actually disarmingly honest (bordering on harsh) and well-appreciated by yours truly.

I had two conversations with good friends yesterday about life never being 100%--sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith. That is something I have trouble with. Fear of the drop, remember? :P Just got to pray and try. I hate being wrong. I hate not knowing what I want. But maybe the key is to let go of what I want and concentrate on what GOD wants. (What a novel idea! :P)

I've been told that I'm good at seeing "the big picture", that I can help people see past their own points of view to put things in perspective. I hope that's true, and if it is, I think that it only applies to others, ha. I'm not very good at seeing "the big picture" in regards to myself. I mean, I know it's there, and I can acknowledge it, but usually in a bitter, mirthless way until it all calms down and I smack myself in the head for being so immature four days later. Selfish.

Another bit of excellent news: The MICA Playwrights Club (now the MICA Thespian Club, due to lack of proper writers, I'm sure) is putting on Closer this year, which is undoubtedly one of my favorite films/plays. I'd probably never be cast as Alice (I look/act too old), but playing Anna would be AMAZING. The audition is next Friday. Wish me luck!

Hope you all have a good day--Love!

-A.

ETA: OKAY. I found an artist that I thought Marla would like, and I posted it on her Facebook wall this past week. It was her birthday party last night, which I wasn't invited to, but I get that--Robin attended, and I'm sure it was fun. Today, I went to glance on her page to see that she not only deleted my friendship (which happened in the last week, tops), but deleted my post about the artist! REALLY. REALLY. REALLY.

Even Melissa, the most generous and sweetest person in the world has been like "HELL NO" about Marla's recent behavior. I mean, I'm a little hurt by it, but I guess this is the path to this being done for good (as if it weren't already). Grr. That annoyance about being the only one held responsible is coming back.

I fear the drop, but once I get started...

Last Friday afternoon, Colin, who organized our Six Flags trip, Facebook-chatted me with the warning that hurricane-level rains/storms would be hitting NJ the following day, and could we maybe take the trip Sunday instead? Now, the trip had already been rescheduled once, and I had work on Sunday, not to mention that this was short-notice and this had been a seven-day forecast. I told him no way.

SO, I woke up at 7:20 AM the next morning, and called Robin five times to make sure HE was up and moving. Jen and I walked down to Colin/Katie's place at eight and met up with the three of them and Jess, who drove from Frederick, MD to be with us! We had some coffee and chit-chatted before driving out at 8:30.

The drive was easy, and a lot of fun--I actually felt so joyful to be spending time with these new friends. Colin drove, Robin was in the passenger seat, Katie, Jess, and I were in the back seat, and Jen was in the way back, where there were two extra seats one can pull out for children. :P The only hassle we ran into was a little bit of traffic about ten miles outside of the park.

We finally arrived, and the sky looked grey and it had already rained, but we were hopeful. After all, the park was nearly empty, which is always good. We met Betsy (!) in the entrance of the park, where she'd been cooling her heels waiting for us for about a half hour, but in the meantime, had made friends with a guy on stilts. We also noticed the 458' (45 stories) tower of Kingda Ka, currently the world's tallest and fastest coaster. It's pretty scary-looking, but Robin and I both committed to it first thing.

Blessedly, the rain held off all day, and the sun even came out! It was perfect. The first roller coaster we went on was El Toro--we all rode it (Jen gets nervy about coasters, and it was ALMOST the only one we all rode together), and it was TERRIFYING. I wasn't sure if I could do Kindga Ka after wimping out on El Toro--a wooden coaster.

But we kept on trucking, and by the end of the day, Robin, Colin, Jess, and I had ridden every coaster in the park (Jen, Katie, and Betsy sat out a few. Losers. :P), eaten some tasty amusement park hot dogs and french fries, gotten soaked on the Rapids ride (Jess and I, at least), and treated ourselves to ice cream.

So, yes, we rode Kingda Ka. It was really nerve-wracking at first, especially with the signs placed at the entrance of the ride that read: "Sometimes Kingda Ka's train doesn't make it over the hill. This is a normal occurance. The track is designed to reverse itself and reset." SCARY. But, we did it, and it was actually a lot of fun! I can't imagine being in the front row for that one though. :/

Since we got done with all of the coasters fairly early (we had less than 15 minute waits on all rides), I suggested that we do a couple again. We re-rode Bizarro with Jen and Katie, who missed out the first time, and Betsy, Robin, Colin, and I got in line to re-ride Nitro. When we got to the top of the line, obviously the line was longest for the front row (Nitro seats four-across), but Colin suggested we wait it out (all four minutes longer) and ride in front. New Daredevil-Alyssa was all about it, and Betsy, after slight hesitation, agreed. So, we strapped in.

I should preface by saying that Robin is afraid of the big, slow ascent, not the drop. There's something about it that really freaks him out--the possibility that something could go wrong. Kingda Ka has a massive ascent, but it goes 128 miles per hour, so there's barely time to register it. Nitro, however, is loooong and sloooow. I was happy as a clam, and Robin, two seats over, was like stone, clutching his harness and fixed on the top of the hill. In an attempt to loosen him up, I reached over Betsy to give him a high-five.

He glanced briefly in my direction, "I'm good." I had to laugh.

The ride was, naturally, the best one of the day. :)

Katie, Jess, and I boldly danced with the creepy Mr. Six guy in front of a crowd of people after that (there is video that I'll post when I can), doing the Macarena and the Cha Cha Slide and YMCA. We left the park pretty soon after that, and said goodbye to Betsy (:( ), and got on the road. The drive back was a more difficult, as the sky broke open less than twenty minutes after we left the park (Colin is a trooper). We decided to drive through Colin's hometown in PA, right near Philly, and get a cheesesteak. It was delicious, and nice to see a piece of Colin's life outside of MICA. :) Post-cheesesteak, the rain was even WORSE, elevating Colin from 'trooper' to 'demi-god' at maneuvering through it.

I had the awesome opportunity to bond with Katie, Colin, and Jess, who I don't see that often/know that well, and see Betsy, who is all ready to be an accomplished graduate student! I'm confident that the trip will spawn a pretty awesome set of friendships. At least, I hope so.

Secondly, I started classes:

Monday: The Problem of Evil. My professor is a stern-looking man with a cane who attended Yale, Oxford, and St. Andrews. He was drafted in 1969 (after dropping out of his first year of college) and went to Southeast Asia for 13 months, and returned to an offer to work for the CIA, which he did for a couple decades. He'd learned 15 or so languages before he suffered a stroke in 2003 or 2004. He had to relearn talking and walking, and he writes with his left hand now. Since then, he's brought his knowledge of languages up to nearly 20. WHAT. WHAT. AMAZING. So far, this class looks like it will be fascinating in matters of faith. I'll be challenged and reaffirmed all-together, I think. I'm excited. :)

Tuesday: The Lab. Whitney Sherman, my professor, is the chair of the illustration department. She's been described as a 'Dragon Lady', but that hasn't come out at all yet. The point of this class is to produce something to be sold--being so wrapped up in my thesis plans, I had to come up with something on the fly, and ended up with a pretty great idea, if I do say so myself! Obviously, writing is therapy to me. Also, revenge/retribution/justice has been a recent theme in my life. SO, I combined the two, and intend to make a witty "Little Book of Revenge"--a sort of workbook for people to put down all the things they WISH they could do, without actually causing harm, of course. There'll be sections for each sort of offender (exes, co-workers, roommates, telemarketers), and a blank section for "Supplies" and "Execution". I think it'll be a hit--my classmates laughed and Whitney was encouranging. At least...I'd buy it. :)

Wednesday: Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt. The best thing about this class is that I know and am friends with a lot of people in it. :) My professor is a youngish fat man with that unfortunate idea that luscious, shoulder-length hair will distract me from his hugeness. However, he seems knowledgable, and I'm looking forward to it, although it seems like a lot of work.

Thursday: Senior Thesis. The doozy. My section, with the very-pregnant, very-British, and very-adorable Rebecca Bradley, is populated with a few unfortunate candidates (in both personality and quality of work), but overall, I'm pleased. My presentation was okay, but it just reinforced the amount of work I need to get done. BLAAAH.

Senior Seminar. Allan Comport is my hero. I resolve to become one of his favorites by the end of this year, dammit. The whole of MICA IL '10 (about 100 students) broke into "study groups" of five--sort of support groups for the coming year. I got nervous--one of the unfortunate candidates above nearly approached me to form a group, but I wiggled out, and my group consists of: Tiff (Marla's roommate), Michael (Robin's roommate), Kyle (one of the first kids I made friends with at MICA), and Adam (who is a practical stranger to me, but is very nice and pretty cute :P). I'm nervous--I always get nervous about sharing work--but I think this'll be a good group, especially since I need to learn Photoshop and Kyle is really good. :D

Objectivity: What I thought was going to be a class related to the divine ratio, and other mathematical awesomeness is now a class unrelated to "Nature, numbers, and doubt", as the subtitle first referenced, but rather "An introduction to the philosophy of science." It's going to get bloody. :P John and I will be the lone Christians/Conservatives holding down the fort in the corner. My professor, Patrick, is a nearly-thirty, bald southern man who is actually really attractive (there's a touch of James McAvoy in him), but has this absurd and amazing Southern-crossed-with-posh-philosopher voice. I can't even begin to describe it without an accompanying imitation.

As far as Hector, it isn't even worth explaining at this point--our wires got crossed, misunderstandings, blah blah. Ian helped me sort things out a bit on my end thanks to his insight into Hector's feelings (or lack thereof). It's basically as I suspected-but-chose-to-push-away: He's not interested in a relationship, and I suspect if he was, he wouldn't want it with me. This was a big disappointment at first, but I'm dealing and am really looking forward to moving ahead as FRIENDS. Ian was kind enough to soften the blow by letting me in on the fact that Hector said he really enjoys spending time with me [as a friend], and I think, awkwardness aside, we'll be fine. :) Special thanks to Emily, Robin, Brandon, and Jen for putting up with me.

In other news, for those of you who are QVHSites, ALEXANDRE IS ENGAGED AND IT IS BEAUTIFUL. For those of you who don't know who that is, Alexandre (or 'The Xandman'), was a sweet but SUPER-nerdy kid in my College-in-High-School French class senior year. He got a girlfriend his freshman year at Pitt, and our CHS class was so stunned and thrilled, we actually organized a BARBECUE at his house in order to meet her. It was excellent, and she's very cool.

SO, three years later, they're all engaged! Yay!

I've also spent the last few days visiting with John and his friend from the UK, Abi, who he met while studying abroad. She's really funny and fun, and isn't offended that my apartment is London-themed and nicknamed "The Flat". (Emily R., hopefully you aren't offended either. :P) Today I'll be hanging out with them again, and if the new friendship I'm trying to establish with Hector works out for tonight, I'll see him this evening. Wish me luck!

Anyway, I'm off to hang out with Robin soon. I'm showered, wearing my new skirt and feeling pretty good (despite my small problem of missing 2/3 of a desk shift this morning...ooops). Hopefully the rest of my day can be productive and fun!

More soon--Love!

-A.

Bethany Beach!

Most of you know I spent Friday-Monday at Bethany Beach in Delaware with John's family (after my minor-to-moderate eff-up of missing the Thursday night bus)--I had a marvelous time.

I met his whole maternal side--the Orsinis (Mrs. J's brother Rick, his wife Karen and their four young'uns: Ricky, twins Cassie and Brianna, and baby Nicky), the Cunninghams (Mrs. J's younger sister Nancy, her husband Ken, and 16-year-old twins Tom and Matt), and the Schmermunds (Mrs. J's older sister Janet, her husband Bob, son Richie and his fiancée Mandee (both 20) and daughter Kat (24) and her cute boyfriend Doug. [Bobby (22) is their brother, but he didn't come.]). BAM. All from memory.

Anyway, my first evening was easy, because we had crabs that night for dinner, and it's hard to be self-conscious while eating crabs. :P

Mandee and Richie arrived that night, and since the two of them are so close in age to John and I, we ended up bonding over the next few days--the next day at the beach was PERFECT weather. Sunny but not too hot, and the water was SO WARM. IT was wonderful, except that John is a killjoy who refuses to swim. Jerk. But we DID have a nice beach walk and talked some stuff out, which reinforced to me that I am not crazy, and when I mean something I'm usually saying it truthfully and accurately. I admit, I was a little vindicated after that conversation--it made me realize that it was more misunderstanding and none of the inadvertent leading-on-of-John it was made out to be.

I only suffered a tiny bit of sunburn on my back (even though I was wearing an SPF 50 sunscreen made for babies! Or "Baby 50" as we dubbed it during the trip). That'll teach me to try and sunscreen my back by myself. Ooops.

That night was the PIRATE MURDER-MYSTERY PARTY. It was so much fun and everyone got into it (save the Orsinis, who left that afternoon)--I was Alice Tremain, "shrewd and intelligent" first mate to 'Saucy' Nancy Martin (John's Aunt Nancy). It was a total blast, and I had a sexy costume and made some pretty amazing costumes for OTHERS on the fly. Even though I wasn't the MOST successful in the game (although there is no clear 'winner'), I had a lot of fun and it made me a lot more comfortable to talk to people I didn't really know (after all, you HAVE to be friends after plotting someone's death/fighting a duel/bargaining for a governor's pardon, right?).

The next day John and I stayed in--I read while he napped, and we went into town in the evening and bought him some sunglasses (I picked them out and he looks fabulous) and books, and a touristy t-shirt for me. :P

We had a big spaghetti dinner that evening, and after the grownups went to bed, Kat, Richie, Mandee, John, Anthony (John's younger brother), and I had a board game fest. We split into two teams (I was with Mandee and Richie) and we played Pictionary, Taboo, and Smart Mouth--it was a lot of laughs and a lot of fun ('TooT", "Dance Dance ___?" "In your Pants-Pants!"). :D

We made it to the beach the next morning and saw a pod of dolphins swimming close to shore. :) John and I shared my towel and read our books while Richie and Mandee played backgammon and Anthony watched. It was just really pleasant and relaxed. Mandee and I bonded about the recent engagement and upcoming wedding (Wooooo!) and over Gossip Girl, but disagree on hockey (boo, Caps!). And Richie attends the Naval Academy and is fun and funny and they're adorable and I'm going to stop gushing now before the cuteness starts coming out of my ears.

Although, I DID get the third degree from John's mom a bit. If you've been following mine and John's tumultuous history (:P), you know that I opened up the lines of communication with him mom when I went to NJ to see Harry Potter. I did this so I could erase the stigma of the flaky impression I'd given her based on my tentativeness towards John. But I was pretty stunned when she basically cornered me Monday morning: "How are you and John? I know you're staying just friends..."

It started out innocently enough; I apologized for the confusion--I hate looking flaky and lame. She was surprisingly abrupt. "I guess I was just wondering--why did you even come here? Did you just come to tell him you didn't want to be with him?"

"Uh, no, of course not. Honestly, I came because I selfishly wanted to meet and be accepted by your family. You're all wonderful."

"Why have you been bringing up Christine so much?" (As you may remember, Christine is John's ex who is pretty obsessed with the idea of getting back together, and is none-too-thrilled about the fact that I was invited to Bethany this year after only three months of a friendship, while she was only invited after four years of a relationship. Ooops.)

"Because it's funny." (Seriously! She kept calling!)

And out of NOWHERE, it gets personal: "What about you and Robin? You guys dated but you're still close." I'm not sure what she meant by this--maybe she thinks I'm still holding on to Robin how Christine is holding on to John? Which is NOT the case in the LEAST. Let's make that clear.

"He's my best friend. Yeah, we dated, but that was 1/5 of our time together. We're BEST FRIENDS."

"It just seems to me like you're waiting on someone else. Waiting to text or call someone else."

Now, I told John about Hector--writer of Ink and my current interest--during our beach walk, but he didn't mention that part to his mom. She's good.

"You're good. Yes, there is someone, but I'm not trying to make John hold out for me until it works out/doesn't work out with this other boy." Obviously.

"I'm not trying to be the interfering mom here, but he is my son. But if you guys are cool, I'm cool."

I did understand that, and I was too put-on-the-spot to really process, but later, talking to Jen, I realized that it was an overstep on her part. John and I are both adults. And we are, indeed, 'cool'. So, if a conversation like that happens again (which I doubt it will), I maaay have to be a little more firm.

But overall, the trip was excellent, and it was a great chance for me to meet and get to know new people and get closer to John and his family. :)

For those of you that never saw me in Ink, here's a link to the whole short film--it's about 20 minutes. Enjoy! :D

I'll update when something fun happens--only two weeks left until classes start! Both awesome and nerve-wracking.

Love,

-A.

P.S. I WANT:

LOL

Dave (John's best friend): teach john to swim and you can be the best man at my wedding

:D

I'm not even keeping score anymore.

On Saturday, Ben came and picked me up from work (that day, a woman took a photo of me with her iPhone in order to trick her friends into thinking she saw Anne Hathaway at Hard Rock, haha!), and we got dinner and rode in the paddle boats on the dirty, dirty harbor and did dramatic readings from internet chatrooms via his BlackBerry. You'd think we were nerds. :P

When we got back to the apartment, Jen informed me that she'd been invited to a party by her TA, Jon, and didn't want to go alone. Ben offered our company and his car, as the party house was in Hampden. After a lot of indecisiveness and changing in and out of pajamas, the three of us got in the car and got lost on our way to the party. :D We did make it, though, and I was surprised to find that it was a block party--there were a bunch of drunk Hampdeners sitting in folding chairs drinking and eating barbecue in the alleyway. I attempted to hula-hoop--one of the 40-year-old Hampden women, Tina, was kicking my ass and trying to teach me. She was very drunk but very encouraging. :)

After spending a little time in the alley, the three of us went into Jon's friend's house for some gumbo that had gone cold and fruit salad. After eating, I just wanted to explore the house a bit--the owner is a MICA alumnus, so it was very artsy, and ended up walking in on the alumnus-in-question rolling a joint in his living room. WHOOPS. But I forced my jaw closed and my eyebrows down and was chill about it, even though I wanted to elbow Ben in the face for taking the joint when they passed it around. (Love you, doll! :P)

While they were smoking, I started chatting with a guy in a blue plaid shirt with pretty olive eyes about living in Italy. Nick, the olive-eyed boy, is 24 and has an intensely handsome face, and was so soft-spoken and interested about my visit. (That, and he didn't take the joint. Bonus points.) It was a short chat, but we kept glancing at each other until I left to try hula-hooping again. I did manage to impress everyone with being able to "skip" the hoop. Woo! After a little while, Nick came out and was watching me and Ben try to hula-hoop with Tina guiding us nearby. When we finally stopped, Nick, who was obviously a bit drunker than when we first talked, chatted with me a little more before leaning in and adorably half-whispering: "I think you're super-cute", and confessing that he could only talk to be because he had a few beers in him.

I was charmed, and he asked me out to dinner, so we exchanged numbers and parted ways for a little while. Jen, Jon, Jon's friend Eli, Ben, and I made the plan to go a couple blocks to Rocket to Venus, a cute little bar/restaurant, so I told Nick we were heading out, and I invited him to join us if he liked. So, we went ahead--when I left the party, Tina slurred that we had to make a date to hula-hoop more and that I was so pretty. :D--and I texted him the name of the place, and he met us. I was actually surprised they let me in at all, as I was the only one under 21, but I guess they just let it slide and pretended my vertical PA ID was valid. :P Nick bought me a beer and we flirted a bit and he told me how cute/beautiful I was about fifty-trillion times and wouldn't stop starting at me. :) However, at this point I'm putting together that he is an agnostic socialist Ravens fan to my conservative Christian Steelers fan, but I let it go because we just met and I barely know him and besides, we hadn't even kissed yet!

We all walk back to Jon's house (different from the party house) and Nick and I sort of lag behind and he kisses me and holy EFF is he a good kisser, and we get to Jon's place and just chill out on the lawn while everyone else goes inside, and we talk and kiss a little more and he tells me about his visits to Ireland and Italy, and I break the news that I won't be having sex with him (which he takes very well). :P We finally go inside and the others are watching The Dark Knight. I sit on the stairs and he sits on the arm of the chair opposite me and touches me knee then gives me the 'Upstairs?' eye movement, which I immediately rebuff. After a few minutes he sits next to me on the stairs and nuzzles me, then lifts his lips to my ear and--

"I want to get married."

I smile, puzzled. "What? In general, or to me?"

He just looks at me. I try not to frown. "You're joking. Ha ha."

"Why not?"

I laugh quietly again and lower my voice. "What do you mean 'why not'? We don't even know each other. You just met me."

"You are one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. Let's get married. I'm serious. Tomorrow." His voice has that muzzly quality that someone who is drunk and sincere has.

Me---> 8/ "No. That's not a possibility."

But he wouldn't back down. He wasn't forceful at all, but he was only concerned with doing something crazy and making an amazing story. After a few minutes, I excused us to go outside and talk this through without a potential audience.

We talked for about an hour, I guess, in circles mostly--I concentrated on why it's a crazy and dumb idea, and he concentrated on painting a picture of a life where we'd visit Europe every year (he loves to travel), and he'd take his photos and I'd illustrate books, and we'd have two kids and he'd never root for the Steelers. He also confided to me that Tina told him to follow meand fall in love with me immediately after I left the party. Truthfully, he was that kind of endearing fateful type of romantic-comedy hero who is saying something completely insane, but with the air of finally seeing things clearly at the climax of the film.

And this is why, instead of running in the other direction as about 60% of you told me to do, I agreed to still go out to dinner with him. I KNOW, I KNOW. (I can hear Lauren's "YOU'RE RETARDED" from here.)

I also went to Chris' place last night and watched half of Braveheart. I'm not sure what to make of Chris and I--he was all into it at first, but now I'm sensing this hesitance. Also, he paid more attention to his dog than to me, which I cannot abide. I don't know yet, though--Chris is just awful at expressing his feelings verbally, as far as I can tell.

And, Ben makes a Brian-esque observation about me:

Ben: You should be a spy.

Me: Haha. Why should I be a spy?

Ben: Persistent. Hunger for knowledge. Spying is like gossip. Except, instead of 'Who slept with who', it's 'Who has nukes'.

And some more "Why I Love Brian", Parts Twelve and Thirteen:

Brian: Caleb, Matt and I are reaching new levels of gay. We're going to tan before we go to Vegas.

Brian: Time to work some Mystery Method at the Edge tonight.

(shortly thereafter)

Brian: Nothin'. No girls at all. It's a 'dick farm' as Caleb put it.

Sidenote: Letta is arriving on Wednesday night, late. I am working hard to fix her and Ben up and it is working AWESOMELY. BECAUSE I AM AWESOME AND SO ARE THEY. YES. They are freakishly perfect for one another, and I am excited for both of them. :)

Another congratulations to my awesome sister, who was accepted and is attending Ohio University this fall. :D I'm so proud of her!

I love my friends, and as crazy as it is, I love my life.

-A.

Marriage.

Don't worry! Nothing has changed since I waxed lyrical about all of the weddings/engagements that have popped up in my line of vision in the last six months or so. No marriage plans here. :P

But, I did read an interesting Facebook note drafted by my childhood friend (and crush) Jack, the son of the pastor who worked at St. Stephen's when Mom, Lauren, KJ, and I left the Catholic church after Mom and Dad's divorce. He was writing, not specifically about marriage itself, but about his own impatience to move from 'transitional relationships' (dating) to marriage, which is something Betsy and I have been talking about at length recently--something I don't think I've ever mentioned here.

Betsy and I are in no rush to just BE MARRIED. We just know that we're both mature enough (out of our separate and very different relationship experiences) and both desire to take the next step to be wives and mothers. We both know we'd be good at it. We both know we're made for it. Betsy was closer than I EVER have been to making that happen, so she's not exactly keen on being back at Square One (and we all know how I've felt about that in my much tinier setbacks), and I know that God is preparing the right man for me right NOW (Scary! :P), and in my past relationship endeavors (I said PAST), I've always been the more mature, conscious half. I'm sick of screwing around with 'dating' in so many ways.

I'm not an idiot. I know I have to date in order to get a boyfriend in order to get a fiancee in order to get married (this is a simplified pattern, of course). I'm just impatient (shocking, I know :P). I just want that proper fit.

In other news, Melissa is visiting for the weekend! :D She was supposed to call and come over this afternoon between apartment tours, but that obviously isn't happening at this point, as her next one is at 4 (AKA now) and I'll soon be getting ready to see the Pens whoop the Red Wings (I hope! We can do it!).

Hope you're all wearing your black and gold! :)

Love,

-A.

Ding, Dong--The Bells Are Gonna Chime!

Weddings!

Weddings. Are. Everywhere for me right now.

I'm enjoying it, truly, but it is a needling reminder that I am at Square Zero as far as boys. Either way, I've been hearing more and more announcements about engagements for my classmates! Seriously, I can name five people my age or younger engaged in the last twelve months off the top of my head! Drea's sister just got married! Joey's sister's wedding is next week! Not to mention my mom's upcoming nuptials!

All this talk of weddings has been getting to me. Not in a bad way, but I swear, I've gotten so sensitive to the idea of people my age getting married, I've started watching "Whose Wedding Is Is Anyway?" as often as I can (and tearing up at it), and I even made a theknot.com account to stare dreamily at wedding dresses I will never afford (or at this point in my dating life, never wear).

Ugh. Is that so lame? Doesn't every girl dream about her wedding? Em and Drea and I talked about it a lot while Kamala was planning, and Em and I revisited the subject when she visited Florence. It's an exciting subject. Scary, sure, even a little frustrating (I get impatient, okay?!), but it always makes my head buzz and my stomach drop.

I should probably stop obsessing, seeing as one should actually have a serious boyfriend before diving into all of this, and any boy who sees how excited I get at the prospect of a marriage will be scared away! :P (But I can still design my gown in my head, right?)

But, despite the very, very far-into-the-future romance in store pour moi, I got a couple of lovely compliments from an old, long-distance male friend (who, I can guess, has always had a crush on me):

R: I'll be honest: you are very attractive to me. But as distance goes--got to be realistic.

~ALSO~

R: I can talk a lot, that is, until you look at me with your eyes. Then I'm probably a little school boy. (My eyes have de-aging powers, I guess? :P)

~And most unexpected of all:~

R:(about my FB profile picture--me, with wind-tossed hair on top of a medieval tower in Tuscany) I would give anything to be there at that moment, I'm sure the view was breathtaking, I know at least you'd be. WOW.

Those little (BIG) pick-me-ups are always welcome. :)