Christmas Update!

For Christmas Eve, it is the usual tradition that we go to my Mimi and Pappy's and see my mom's side of the family. It is equally traditional that my mom hates it. This year was a bit better because we didn't stay for dinner, and my aunts and uncles were interested to hear about John, so I had something more enjoyable to talk about than what I'm going to do after graduation. We didn't stay for a proper dinner after all, but left early and hung out at home before attending a 9pm candlelight service and the Presbyterian church where Robert now works.

Christmas was fairly small as far as gifts (although my laptop was a combination birthday/Christmas gift)--money, gift cards, earphones from KJ, a monogrammed shot glass from Lauren (:P), a massive book on American artists from my aunt, a funny little Christmas-themed cutting board from my Nana, and a set of pens from Mom and Robert so I can write their wedding invitations! My stocking also contained these stunning little gold post earrings with sapphires and diamonds in them. So small and delicate, but one of the favorite things I received. Not too shabby. Plus, I know John has something big and spectacular coming (he's only been bragging about it since Fall Break--SERIOUSLY). So, I'm feeling fairly lame about my just-under-medium-sized gift in comparison, but I think (hope) he'll like it. :)

Christmas Day itself is spent at my Dad's in the morning, then at his youngest sister's (it was the first Christmas without middle sister Suzanne), and Lauren, KJ, and I get to catch up with our cousins and eat some delicious brunch. Yum, yum.

We spent Christmas night at home with a yummy turkey dinner by Mom and some family bonding.

Overall a rather uneventful Christmas, but not an unpleasant one. This weekend was nice because I got to sing two fantastic songs for trio with Robert and Mom, then catch up with Abby C, Joey V. and Brandon, and I got to take care of 65% of my TJ Maxx gift card and get some DELIGHTFUL dark-wash jeans that fit me like a dream (yaaay!) and a couple new undergarments (also yay, as I am hard to fit!). Not a bad way to spend the day. However, I've managed to not eat at all today, so I'm going to rectify that situation!

Also, John gets in again tomorrow night! Woo!

Hope you're all having a wonderful holiday! :D

Hark, how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say 'Throw cares away'...

I'm home and settled in for the most part--John was here from Thursday to Monday and met my Dad, his wife Lisa and her daughter Sam, Robert, KJ, Em, Drea, Joey V., Bess, Abby C. and her boyfriend Greg, not to mention RE-meeting my SACI roommates Emily, Christine and Ulyssa.

We got in around 4:15 and unpacked and relaxed with KJ and Mom and Robert until about 5:30 when we drove up to my Dad's for his 49th (!) birthday dinner! Dad and Lisa really liked John, which was nice ("What's not to like?" -My mom).

After that, we met up with Drea and Eat 'N' Park (which looks all Panera-fied and not greasy/seedy AT ALL anymore, which is upsetting), and soon accumulated a few more people: Joey, Em, and Bess. When Drea, Em, and Bess has to leave, Joey gave John a very involved quiz to prove his worth. :P It was pretty great, ranging from "What is Alyssa's favorite color?" to "Do you like 'Jersey Shore'?" (PLUS A GA-GRILLION POINTS) It was fun. :D

John met Ab and Greg on Sunday night--it was a casual visit, and John was pretty quiet for the whole thing, but it was so good to catch up with Abby and see Greg again!

Monday night was great--John and I went to the South Side and met up with Emily, Christine and Uly at S Bar. We caught up and talked and it was SO good to see them (I haven't seen them since APRIL! WHAT? Almost eight months?!). They're all doing well and are all happy. It was really good to reconnect.

John left on Monday around 1, and I'm already ready for him to come back! He and Lauren didn't get to meet because Lauren was in Ohio this weekend visiting friends. But they'll both be here on the 29th to meet! Pretty exciting!

We also got our Christmas tree, but our (working) lights only cover about 2/3 of the tree. Class. :P

Cheese-tastic aside (Lauren, skip to the end :P): Since being with John, I've really begun to understand what Godly love is. I always knew God loved me, but I had no idea what that love felt like to palpably give and receive until I got into a relationship with John. He's really made me realize what it means to commit and to take chances but also feel entirely sure and confident in myself and in my relationship. He proves to me (even more) how completely God takes care of His people. I'm so thankful, and so happy. I love him! Yay!

Hope you all have an amazing and merry Christmas!

Love,

-A.

Note-To-Self

Since the first few days of classes have been hectic (but fun!), here's a reminder to myself/teaser for you about what I need to update you all on this weekend:

-My Six Flags trip AKA PERFECTION.

-My class schedule and professor profiles. AKA Me making fun of my teachers.

-How "Dumb, dumb, dumb." (see previous entry) turned into "Stupid, stupid, stupid." AKA Why Hector does not like me.

-Other fun stuff. :)

Love you all!

-A.

P.S. Ab, I got your Facebook message, and intend to reply, I've just been busy! Tomorrow or Friday!

That Sinking Feeling, or These Things Come In Threes

I've had a surfeit of helplessness since I got home.

Not just in me--I've been seeing it everywhere. From talking about a cement-trapped patient in Grey's Anatomy to helping Lauren illustrate a boy who can't tie his shoes, it's coming at my from all sides.

And the weirdest thing is how STRONGLY I'm reacting.

I burst into tears talking about Grey's Anatomy--Lauren was properly embarassed of me--I got overwhelmed by the image of a trapped, panicked person and I started to cry--and not just cry, SOB. I dry-sobbed for twenty seconds before getting a hold of myself. I've always had a fear of being confined (claustrophobia and all that). Lauren brought it up in front of Brian again tonight and I teared up. I'm starting to freak out now.

Moving on.

My own illustrations even made me upset--the helpless expression I drew on the little boy broke my heart.

Watching Veronica Mars trapped in an old refrigerator tightened a fist around my heart, just for a moment.

This will be my tenth post tagged "Helplessness".

Why do I feel helpless? Trapped? Is it because I have no job prospects and $500 of rent is due June 1st? That's part of it, I'm sure. Is it because I have a thesis proposal to write and no fucking clue what I want to do? Is it because I know I'm going to sink under my workload next year? Is it because I'm not sure my art is good enough?

UGH. I'm disgusted with myself! I want to be able to say to myself, like Mom and Melissa can say, "God is handling it, it will be fine", but I don't think God will be dropping off an envelope full of money for me, or give me any more ease with my interpersonal relationships or learning how to sell myself and my art. I know He's got me, but I also know I've got this controlling part of me for a reason--it motivates me to want more than to step off. But, I can have all the aggression in the world, but with no outlet or opportunity, that means nothing.

I know I'll be taken care of, even if I have to ask for help (number one brand of shame for me--it's a long story why, maybe I'll tell it one day), and I know opportunities will pop up, but I'd just rather be DOING something then waiting here with no control.

It's like with Robin and Marla--I'm inert, ready to move forward in both situations, but I have to wait until I GET there, SEE them, be ACTIVE. I'm oddly lazy in that way--I want to move forward with Robin and Marla and be friends, and I want to be working and earning money for rent, etc. BUT, I'm only too eager to forgo the part where I have to take a risk--talking to employers, talking to Marla (not so much Robin). The place where I'm in danger of rejection. My least favorite place of all time, saving the place of shame. Although I guess shame comes with both.

I am happy--I had a really good night with Brian and Lauren, and I got to see Abby and Joey this past weekend and that was AWESOME.

I am happy, but I am not secure. I won't be until I have enough money for two months of rent in the bank.

Sheesh. I need to take a chill pill and go to SLEEP. It's 4 AM for goodness' sake.

See you all in the morning--love, love, love--

-A.

A Useless Little Filler Post.

I don't have much to report on, really, but I feel like I should be better at updating. Ab Fab is kicking my ass!

This weekend has been pretty uneventful--my roommates were away again: Melissa and Christine in Paris and Emily in Naples/Capri. So, I was alone. The first night was a little lonesome--I've been alone at home a lot lately--but it wasn't too bad. I spent most of my weekend at SACI screwing around on the computer (kind of like now, hm), which is lame of me, because I have a lot of work to do!

Last night was more successful, socially. I went to Sarah C's place for dinner, and we just talked for a few hours. It's been nice to catch up with her--we hung out all the time freshman year (I practically lived in her apartment), and we'd barely seen each other since then! She gave me a little perspective on the looming and inevitable conversation with Marla coming in the next weeks. It's nice to have someone who knows her sympathize, I guess. Most people I consult don't know her at all. Sarah, who has a little fear for Marla's temper to begin with, can at least share in my discomfort.

Today will (hopefully) be spent finishing a couple comic sketches, then this week I get down to the finals! I also downloaded Pocahontas and Beauty and the Beast as a little surprise gift for my roommates when they return, so hopefully we can watch one of those. :)

I live a boring life. :P

BUT, something sort of funny did happen yesterday. I was snooping through this one studio, and looking at a girl's notes and sketches, and this one HUGE painting--it was near the door, and so big, half the room was obscured. I decided to move around it to look at the neighboring studio space. As I stepped around it, I was startled by a guy sitting on a stool directly behind the big painting, one earbud hanging out. I gasped and one hand flew to my heart, like a cartoon. I stammered and apologized a few times, then, like a GOOF, I apologized for startling HIM. He unsmilingly apologized for startling me, then changed tack and started chatting me up!

As it turns out, this guy, Jordan, is roommates with Nice!Joey (have I mentioned him here? Great guy from Ohio, really cool), and goes to Alfred (he knows Maddy Crawford). He then invited me over to his place for dinner, "because, you know, me and Joey cook all the time". I'm not about to turn down a free meal with some nice guys, and Joey knows I'm taken and can fill Jordan in, so I accepted for a future, undetermined time.

I told Sarah about the embarrassment and comedy of the whole deal, and she proceeded to inform me that this was the Jordan who had made out with Michelle-The-TA-I-Hate in Venice! I mentioned this incident at the end of my March 11th entry. Minus major points, man. MAJOR points.

But, on the upswing, I'm going to see Watchmen with Nice!Joey on Thursday! This local place called the Odeon Cinema shows American movies with Italian subtitles. I am SO EXCITED. If you've already seen it, shut up, because I've already heard too much!

Ab--did you ever finish reading Watchmen?

Em's mom recently sent me our itinerary of sorts for Corsica, which is really exciting! I'm totally looking forward to it. :D

Just, a final note. Seeing the way God works in the lives of people I know--not just me--is humbling. I see people doing 180s. I see amazing things happening, and I can't help but be completely joyful. I can't really be detailed, but, God, you are so awesome! I can't help smiling! :D

Love you guys, and I'll talk to you soon,

-A.

La Citta Eterna!

So, I went to Rome this past weekend!

I caught an evening train, intending to meet Melissa at the Roma Termini station between 6 and 7. My train got in at 6:10. I knew Melissa's train got in at 6, so I looked around the relatively small platform, then planted myself nearby so she could see me. After 25 minutes, I decided to walk around a bit, see if maybe she was doing the same thing by staying in one place. No luck, so I waited in a different spot for about a half hour. By then I knew it was time to find a way to the hostel--maybe she had just gone ahead and checked in. I asked the guy at the Information Desk if he knew where I could find an internet cafe, and he just said "Outside". As in "Out there in Rome". Thank you, very helpful.

Luckily, there was one very nearby, right across the street. I went in, got my ticket, and got to work. Melissa had e-mailed me the hostel details earler in the week, so I got the name and address, and blessedly, a woman who spoke perfect English was sitting next to me, and she communicated with the owner of the internet point to direct me to 'Via Curtatone'. It took me about 20 minutes to find, despite being withing walking distance, but I got to Legends Hostel, and I was fine.

Unfortunately, Melissa was nowhere to be found. She hadn't checked in yet, and it was already 8:30, two and a half hours after she was supposed to arrive. Also, I hadn't talked to her in four days--who knows what had happened? She could be anywhere! Even worse, I had no idea which leg of the tour she was coming from.

So, I got to our room, where two guys our age were already sleeping. Or had been, because I woke them up. Thankfully, they were nice about it, and had intended to get up in order to go out and party. They were students from Lehigh, in Pennsylvania (what a coinkydink!) on spring break--Greg and Mike. I initially mistook them for my roommate Emily's boyfriend and his roommate, because they have the same names and were in Italy this past weekend, but I forgot the part where Emily's boyfriend is 28.

So, I laid out the whole deal to Greg and Mike (well, mostly Mike--Greg was still half-asleep), and after about a half hour of worrying, the snotty girl from the front desk knocked on our door, and Melissa and her giant backpack stepped out from the hall! I was so thankful! We were both pretty darn glad to see the other was okay. Since we had missed dinner at the hostel, the two of us decided to check out 'Insalata Ricca', a salad place that is apparently very popular. And with good reason. The walk was practically a hike to get there, but it was SO worth it. I had a 'miele' (honey) salad with walnuts, sliced beef, apples, and honey sauce. OMG. SO GOOD.

And since we got there so late, we were there past midnight, so Melissa was allowed to take her break from the Daniel Fast she's doing for Lent, and we shared a chocolate mousse. :)

Friday morning was the full day--We hit the major ruins first--the Colosseum (there's poetry in that diagonal, I swear), the Forum, Sacra Area (which was awesome for the new, as well as the old.), and we crossed the Tiber and checked out Isola Tiberina, this little island in the middle of the river, and I had this DELICIOUS prosciutto and brie sandwich. Then we crossed all the way and hiked up the hill to the Temple of St. Peter, where he was 'traditionally' crucified. Yeah, not so much. :P

We made it back to the hostel in time for "Pasta Night", and we met a few American students (one from Nebraska, one from Oregon) studying in Bulgaria. RANDOM! But they were so nice, and love Harry Potter. :D

That night, we went to the Trevi Fountain--it was lovely. So gorgeous--practically in motion. Melissa and I were pressured to buy a bouquet of roses (read: they were shoved into our hands and then he demanded payment), then Mel was scammed on by an aging punk-rocker with a crutch. SRSLY. Then we got giant, chocolate-dipped cones of yummy gelato, saw the Four Rivers Fountain and then walked to the Spanish Steps. The view was awesome. It's amazing to think that people live there and see it every day out their windows! It's awesome.

Saturday, we went to the Pantheon--it had been closed for a prayer mass the day before--and there was barely a crowd, which was great! Then we headed to Vatican City, got more tasty sandwiches and ate them in from of St. Peter's Basilica, then went to the Vatican Museum, where I was flirted with by one of the twentysomething workers in security. He thought I was French, then WHISTLED. It was actually pretty funny. :P

The musseum itself had some cool stuff--an early Christian art exhibit, which consusted of mostly sarcophagi from the 4th century, and the decidedly unexciting Egyptian exhibit. But it was all good preparation for the main event.

The Sistine Chapel Ceiling is, without a doubt, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The craft is impeccable, the motion and imposition--the bodies are COMING OUT OF THE WALLS. It was amazing. I just sat and stared for almost an hour. So gorgeous. :D

But we did have to go and get ready for our train ride home, which we caught around 6:50, and we were home by 8:30! Then we got to meet the REAL Greg and Mike. Greg was a total kind, invested, funny gentleman--Emily is a lucky girl! But she totally deserves it. And Mike was rougher around the edges, but a brilliant storyteller, and it's clear that he has a gooey center. :)

Emily and Christine's friend AJ (who goes to Pitt) also visited, and I found out that she and Brittney Nolfi happen to be great friends! But she didn't know the "Whoops, Brittney got crowned Homecoming Queen by mistake" story, so I filled her in, and AJ confirmed once again that Brittney and Tyler Kennedy did indeed date, and that he was, indeed, entirely obsessed with her. I don't think I ever doubted it--she would date any of the Pittsburgh Penguins she could get, and he would date anyone as hot as Brittney because he kind of looks like a pug. But he's a dab hand at hockey! Go TK! :P

Also, today I read a note Rachel B. posted about good men. The note wasn't important, but the responses were:

Nicole H.: I'd like to believe good men exist. All the bad men have ruined for them. it must be hard being a good man. You might never get recognized for it. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing” ~ Edmund Burke

Amiri H.:(Even though I never met her, this almost in direct response to Ms H.'s comment) Sometimes, and for various reasons, good men do bad things that do a lot of damage that was never intended. This unfortunately means that the world is even more complex than we thought! Isn't that wild?!

Nicole H.: Very true. How is it then that good men do bad things? Maybe they need stronger convictions, or a better reason to do good things? I’d like to think that a good woman is enough of a reason to do good things, maybe even excellent things. Unfortunately, I’ve seen good men treat good women quite badly. Maybe the good woman is not a worthy motive because even good women can do bad things. I think the only worthy reason for a good man to do good things is because he serves a good God. My conclusion is that more men need to understand God’s unquenchable love for them and know who they are in His eyes, which is truly good men (despite their failings and shortcomings). They must learn to walk in the honor and integrity that he has called them to, strengthened by His grace. And good women? They must know the same and extend grace just as the Lord has done so unto them.

Good response, I think. Great response.

I got to talk to Robin, Sam, and Jessie yesterday! It was so great to se them together--Sam and Jessie went to Baltimore on their spring break. I miss them!

As some of you may know, in about a month I am going to Corsica with Em! Have a mentioned this? OH WELL. It's very exciting and I can't wait to see her!

How are wedding plans going for Kamala, Drea? Maid-of-Honor speech coming out well? :) I can't wait to see photos!

Ab-Fab--I saw a motorcycle jacket here that I WISH I could buy for you! I know you've been wanting one! How's YOUR Greg?

Wow. This has been a looooooong entry. Time to go do something with my day! :P

Love you guys and talk to you soon,

-A.

Two days in a row?! Insanity!

I guess I'm just making up for the slacking I've done lately. Besides, I haven't said much about Florence/Italy ITSELF. So, I'm going to do what I call an "Emily Post", and observe what's going on AROUND me, as opposed to what is just going on WITH me.

Italians have a very interesting taste. They dress fabulously well, usually in black. They are trendy as all-get-out, to a fault, even. (Puffy coats with elastic belts? EEK!) Every female here wears boots--it was one of the first things I bought besides food, firstly because they were cheap (I may have mentioned the January sales before), and secondly because Florence seems to have every style of shoe I ADORE. They also like blondes. At least the men do. :P Ask Morgan about the encounter she had her first week here, where a guy blatantly felt her ass up in the street.

The Italians practice what they call "Bella Figura". Have I mentioned it here? I forget. Basically, the objective is to look as good as you can before you walk out the door. Why the eff hasn't America gotten on that?! As a result, I LIKE to think I look more cleaned up than usual--I actually put on makeup 90% of the time now, and I try and make the effort to look aloof and bitchy. Hey, it seems to work for the Italians! I've barely been cat-called!

They also have a few obsessions: Marilyn Monroe and A Clockwork Orange. I swear, you see that shit EVERYWHERE. They pay a few respects to my girl Audrey, as well, but not nearly as much as Marilyn (typical! :P). And kebab. There's a place on every corner! This is great for my mouth, but bad for my wallet. (That's what she said.)

As for dislikes, I think that can be summed up in one big one: Traffic laws. I swear to God, the only rule is "Don't hit anyone". And the unspoken one is, "Be as big of an impatient tool as possible, too." Graar.

So, yeah! So far, that's my observation. Limited, I know, but you're reading the blog of a girl who hasn't even been inside the Uffizi for longer than an hour. And I live across the street. :/ I'm a shameful human being.

In other news, my mushroom soup went over VERY well last night! It was a little too salty, but I can fix that! I'm definitely making it for all of us when I come home! What do you guys think? My mushroom soup, and Em can make those little molten cakes of DELICIOUSNESS. Bri? Drea? Ab-Fab? Any input? Tasty bread? Salad?

The rest of my day is going to be pretty boring and slacker-y. I got about 2/3 of the way into my first little figurine (I changed my mind about the paper cutouts for now, but I'm not forgetting about them) and then, I think I changed my mind AGAIN and might do cute, tiny watercolors with my chubby little character running around and getting overwhelmed and gossiping and basically doing everything I do. :P

Did I tell you guys about my latest critique with Kevin, the MICA students supervisor? I told him I was interested in injecting more humor into my work--I feel like so many art kids take themselves SO SERIOUSLY. At that, he got really weirdly smug and "oh-yes-I-know-all-about-you" and was like "Yes, you do have that crooked smile." Do I? Really? I think he's thinking of the face I make when I'm trying not to laugh at him. I think he says shit like that because I hit the nail on the head with him in our first meeting and pointed out his caffeine jitters and mismatched socks.

Directly after this, he told me a horrifying story about a boy he was in 4th grade with who slit his wrists (and survived), due to bullying. #1: FOURTH GRADE. #2: KEVIN, WTF? DISTURBING.

Sidenote: I love my Facebook 'Favorite Quotes' section. I have a fantastic sense of humor, you know that? :P

I'm going to call my mom in the next half hour, and she's going to be all cute and engaged, and I feel a little bad to have to bring the hammer down on that in any way, but I NEED to get some solid info on the finances so I won't get beaten by the SACI:NY lady! She's out for blood, I swear.

On a lighter note, apparently Betsy and Jen (you remember, my MICA roommates from last semester) were not shy in asking Robin how far we've gone! He told them the (modest, ungraphic) truth--which is fine by me, I'm just surprised they were so forward about asking! Jen maybe, but Betsy was apparently the one who asked! Funny, and it makes me miss them. :)

Okay, I'm out. Love you guys! I'll update soon.

-A.

ETA: Just got off the phone with Mom, and we settled on a game plan for the SACI housing bill. She's really, really excited about her and Robert (of course!), and she told me that KJ is constantly playing his guitar and drums, that his grades are great, and he's taking up track and tennis! His play opens this weekend--I wish I could be there to see it! Man, he's going to be 14 soon. It seems like he's taking forever to age, but I know he'll be a man before I know it!

Let me let you in on an excerpt from an e-mail he sent after I asked him to assist me with the SACI bill: "As you well know, money is tight all over for most folks and last minute surprises are more difficult to handle. Lisa and I have always been happy to do what we can and I hope you understand that. This is frustrating for me because you're my daughter, I love you and I don't want this to create a hardship for you. I wish I could just pay it but that's not possible."

Logical, realistic and completely understandable.

But wait, what's that I hear? DAD BOUGHT A 2-SEATER CONVERTIBLE. SRSLY.

Thank you, Daddy. Thank you for focusing on the important expenses. For real.

But you've all heard me complain about this a million times. :P

Ciao, Venezia!

So, this weekend was a sometimes-fun, sometimes-obnoxious foray into Venice Carnevale!

Me, Mel, and three of the four members of #10 (Noel, Morgan, and Emma) caught the train out of Florence at 8:30 AM on Friday morning, and made it into Venice, and into the hotel by noon. Once good thing I can say about the cheap-but-should-have-been-cheaper hotel was that it was WARM. Venice was freezing! Naturally, being near all that water.

Friday was really amazing--we got the obvious gondola ride (but at 20 euro less than usual! Score!). We had the privilege of having a cute gondolier, Thomaso, who informed us that one needs over 6 YEARS of training to be a gondolier! Holy EFF.

After the ride, we hit the market at Piazza San Polo, where we saw the hot Catholic priest calendars that make me want to weep--the cover priest should not withhold his glorious genes from humanity! Interestingly enough, there was also a hot gondolier calendar, and we started joking around about Thomaso being in it, and lo and behold! He was Mr. August! That was pretty fantastic, to say the least. :)

That night, we got all gussied up in our masks, and hung out in one of the piazzas with live music, apparently cobbled together by three drummers, a sax player, a trumpeteer, and a tambourine. Fun, but all the shoving and bumping kind of made me want to smack a bitch. We poured ourselves into bed around three AM.

Saturday was okay--a lot more people in the city, that's for sure. The density must have tripled overnight! Mel and I went separately from Noel, Morgan and Emma, who decided that sleeping was more imporant than being in VENICE. WHATEVER. We met up with the missing member of #10, David, briefly, then with our other roommates and our building-mates (who came to Venice with SACI), and hung out at Piazza San Marco for the afternoon, tooling around in our masks and feeding the pigeons, who are not shy and WILL land on you if you prompt them.



BAM. (My new profile pic, naturalement.)

Melissa and I made it out of Venice after an HOUR of shoving through the crowd, but we made it to the bus, met up with our oversleeping travel buddies, and caught the train home. We. Were. EXHAUSTED. To say the very least. But that didn't stop Me, Mel, and Emma from staying up 'til 3 AM to watch Green Wing, which is the UK's solution to Scrubs, but BETTER.

Sidenote: I've been making a ton of allusions to how awesome "Hey Arnold!" was this week. Like, a TON.

Sunday was lazy--Mel and I just lounged around, made a big breakfast, then got a pancake dinner. :) I had a mini-freak out about money and my art and the future, and I was reminded of how lucky I am to be friends and roommates with Mel. Once again. :) As if I could forget!

Today was fine--went to Santa Maria Novella and sent my belated V-Day gift to Robin. I have to run, actually, I'm making dinner for my roomies tonight and I need to pick up a few things!

I love you guys, and I'll try and be less of a lame about updating! (Although I must say, I'm keeping up the best out of all of you! Save Ab-Fab, who seems to be on-par. Ab--how are you and G? Everything good?)

Have a great day!

-A.

P.S. Did I mention my mom is OFFICIALLY ENGAGED?! WOOOOOOOO!

Well, I'm glad I checked this AFTER Christmas. :/

I got a C+ in Illustration Concepts. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

Seriously, the grade I was worried about was 19th Century French Art, and at least she handed me a B- (I probably deserved a B, but I'll live). But a C+ from Jose? I was actually stunned when I saw that. I mean, I'm not breathing into a paper bag or anything, but come on! That was the last thing I expected. On the last day of class, I passed Jose on the way out and he was like "Oh, great work!" WTF?

SRSLY. WTF. The last C+ I got was in a class I despised above all others with a teacher who despised me right back. I was just happy to get through the class! But this is an actual shock to me. I'm really disappointed.

I still have my scholarship, blahblah, so I guess it's not the end of the world, but I'm still mad and I am definitely not looking forward to telling my parents. Ug.

I definitely know I wasn't as devoted to my schoolwork as I could have been this semester, but I was more stressed than ever with all of the preparation for studying abroad, etc. Not to mention the constant drama in my apartment, and my social calendar dwindling down to one person 97% of the time. You know who you are. ;P I had a lovely semester, I really did. I just hope this wasn't the fee I had to pay for it.

Christmas went just fine! I got money, some books about Florence, Beedle the Bard, travel accoutrements, two thongs in my stocking (from my MOTHER, sheesh. Right, Em?), these shimmery purple dark chocolate M&Ms, and a REALLY SOFT brown blanket. And of course, I got to see Ab-Fab, which was wonderful! :)

Hope you all had a good haul yourselves!

Wooooooooo!

My visa arrived! Hooray!

Whew. Thank God.

Also, I'm home! I'm sure that you've heard. :)

And I have quite a bit of Christmas shopping to do today, so I'll update soon! :D

Love,
A


8:27 pm:

Okay! I shopped with Emily and Bessala today and it was lovely! Took care of Lauren's, KJ's, and Sam's (Dad's stepdaughter) gifts:

Lauren: The Dark Knight and Now and Then DVDs.
KJ: Drum sticks for his new DRUM SET that he will shit his pants for but my mom and sister will go nuts from.
Sam: Two GG-licious headbands and some cute bow clips.
Mom: Lauren and I went in on a facial/massage.
Dad: Us kids are going in on a digital camera.
Robin: Ah-ah-ah! He actually reads this thing. :P ;)
You four!: Ditto, but you'll like them, I hope!

So far, Lisa (Dad's wife) is not yet taken care of. :/ Ooops. But hopefully Starbucks will be open and I can get her a card to go with Lauren's Penguin Bookshop card for her.

Because I didn't update yesterday, let me recap! Emily and I were invited to brunch by Robin at Sam and Jessie's with a few other friends. It was awesome to see them so soon, and I was thrilled to be able to introduce Em to Robin and the others. The food was also DELICIOUS.

Apparently, one of the other guests, Zander (who I met this summer and who Em went to SA with), asked Robin what's up with us, and I admit, I suspected that Zander was sniffing around me already, since he and his girlfriend just broke up, and he's been texting me, etc. But basically, I think he was disappointed to see that I wasn't single. Although, Zander isn't really the guy for me, although he is cute and nice and well-dressed and all that. :)

For Ab-Fab:

Robin and his brother intended to interview Andrew WK on CMU radio, and he called in and everything, but he was acting really weird and the calls got dropped a few times, and while I don't know how the interview ended, I think it was a disappointment for Robin and Alex. Sorry guys! :( But either way, I'm sure you'd want to know, Ab. Hope Ohio was fun! :D

Also, my grandparents, who are generously footing the bill for me this year so I can go to Italy, called me tonight with some abrupt news that they want to take out and co-sign a loan with me for the next semester instead of paying up front like they did this semester. If that's what they want to do, then I guess that's that, but the fact taht they bring it up literally TWO WEEKS from my departure date and IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CHRISTMAS RUSH was giving me a heart attack a little worrisome. Okay, we'll see how it pans out.

Okay, time to finish up some gifts!

Love!
A

Five weeks. :)

This is both a scary and awesome prospect--I am so not ready! :/ But I know that even if I'm not ready, I'll be where I'm supposed to be once I step off the plane.

Thanksgiving break was wonderful. I saw Drea and Abby (yay!) and Brian, and the Ruzichs (minus Mr.) and QUAIDY, which made my life. :P I also gave Lauren an AWESOME birthday gift that she wanted--a (n illegally downloaded) copy of Rosetta Stone so she can learn German! Or Italian, if she so wishes. :)

I also ran into Rachel B. (groan) who tells me that Lacie has been up and down. I then spoke to Brandon who tells me she's even crazier than I had anticipated. Ah well, it's her life.

The highlights of my break though, were the evenings I spent with Robin and his friends Sam and Jessie et. al. Tuesday, the night I got home, was spent at Ritters with S and J, just getting reacquainted and having a nice time. THEN, on Saturday, Robin came to Sewickley and met Drea and Brandon and than we met up with S and J and got a group together to play first Cranium, then Spoons, and then Asshole and Quems. (card games). It was SO MUCH FUN. It was sort of nice to just let loose with some relative strangers. :D And, of course, it's always a pleasure to spend time with Robin. :)

Okay, a lot to do before the week is out.

TO DO:

-VISA, GOD DAMMIT.
-Hand in administrative MICA forms for study abroad.
-Do a five-page paper on Olympia by Manet. By tomorrow at 9 am. (More than doable, but annoying.)
-Shellac/Fire final ceramics project.
-Do nine two-hour drawings for José. By Thursday. (AAAAAH.)

Love you guys. :) Christmas season is here! (BTW, EMILY made me lose the game, like a jerk. So, you can all lose, too. :P)

-Alyssa

P.S. I intend to go to Drea C.'s 21st birthday. It's in the works--you won't be alone, Em! :P

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving with your families, friends, food, and football. I'm so thankful for the four of you:

Em: Even though you're outside of the US, I expect you to find some canned cranberries to put on a turkey sandwich today! Love you and I can't wait to see you!

Drea: I know being back here in Sewickley stirs up a lot of unpleasant feelings, but I hope that your time with your mom and siblings (and hopefully your dad) reassures you that you'll be fine, and you're doing great and have so much to be thankful for. :)

Ab-Fab: Hope this weekend's trip to Warren, OH will be action-packed and exciting! :P I know Greg's mom will adore you--say hi and happy birthday for me! Muah!

Bri: I know you're home and I'll hopefully see you before I go back to Maryland. Spending time with your family is always fun, and either way, you make fun times wherever you go! Have a great Thanksgiving. :D

I will be at my Mom's parents' place in a few hours, wishing I were with all of you instead! :P I watched the annual fox hunt take off from my dad's ex-stepmother's farm this morning, which was nice. (I saw Maureen Megan, who cut off all of her hair and now looks like a very hipster-y lesbian.)

Love you all!

-Alyssa

Loving. Living. Small.

Number One: Dan Wolf is now Facebook Official with Katie Campbell. Is that her name? Anyway, Abby if you know anything about her, please-oh-please dig the dirt. :) I am in no way interested in getting anywhere near Dan Wolf's lips anytime soon, but I AM interested to see her deal, because he told me he's already brooding about breaking up, because (this sounds familiar) none of them have time for each other/affection is waning. If he can't keep a relationship going while they go to the SAME SCHOOL, I had no chance. Although that shows that he made way more of an effort with me, which is flattering.

Number Two: I tried to update my status with something funny, but it was replaced when I hit the button with "Alyssa is everything I wish for will never come true." WEIRD. It turns out it was the girl's status who updated right before me, so there was some glitch or something, but it was still strange.

Number Three: Jen is a butt. She has three modes: "Betsy, I need you/r sympathy because Dylan is an asshole." "Betsy, you're a bitch for hanging out with Ryan." and "Betsy, we're friends again because now I get to hang out with Ryan." Damn that girl!

Number Four: I'm going to see Twilight with Bess, because Lauren didn't like it enough to pay for it again. I'm looking forward to this, though, because Bess is a longer-time/more rabid fan. and it should be fun and hilarious. :)

Number Five: Thanksgiving is this week. HOORAY! I get to see most of you! Is Bri coming home, by the way? Love you guys!

Number Six: I sang (not that well) and Robin gave a hilarious Donatello X performance last night at Coffeehouse. (Donatello X is a beat poet--he's super sexy and stylish [he wears all black and a beret and sunglasses] and his poetry [such as The Blind Watchdog or Incandescent Delight] is swoon-worthy). He was so cute. :D

(We barely freaking hide it anymore. We were all touching last night while Marla's back was turned. Well, of course, we were sure her back WAS turned, but she was in the same room for goodness' sake.)

Number Seven: I fell asleep on my couch last night, woke up at 4:30ish and went to bed, woke up at 8:45, and was running late for my nine AM shift. I thought I was ready, but when I glanced in the mirror, I had eyeliner and mascara smeared ALL OVER my face--a combination of falling asleep with it on, and the tears my eyes made because they were so dry from sleeping with contacts in. AWESOME. But now I am clean and cute again. :)

Number Eight: No new Gossip Girl tonight. :(

Okay, I have to write a paper. Muah. Love you!

xoxo,
Alyssa

P.S. What I want my life to look like: http://lovinglivingsmall.blogspot.com/

Election '08

I know you all voted--at least, I'm pretty sure. Ab? Bri? And I DEFINITELY know we didn't always agree. No matter the outcome, I love you guys and have only the utmost respect for you.

(But if Obama does win I'll still cry and be glad I'll be in Italy when he's inaugurated.)

But seriously. You guys are awesome people, and I love you so much! :)

I hope you all voted, and I'll talk to you when we have a new president elect.

xo,
Alyssa

P.S. Gossip Girl, anyone? Amazing? Blair/Chuck win and Jenny is a moron? Anyone? :P

"O, say can you see?"

First of all: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AB-FAB! Hope it's amazing. Be safe. :)

(I originally wrote 'Be sage'. So, yeah, get on that, too.)

I got my passport today! It's kind of amazing, because they said it would take three weeks, and it's only been a little over a week. :) Maybe because I'm so close to DC.

My picture is fairly dreadful (the whites of my eyes blend into my skin), but it made me feel this weird surge of patriotism to receive the passport. Sort of an odd reaction--feeling patriotic when you receive a document that allows you passage OUT of your home country. :P

My visa application goes next, and the quick receipt of my passport is a lovely relief--the visa is supposed to take FOREVS. Em, any insight?

The passport's quick delivery is just another nice reminder that God is looking out for me. :)

The rest of today will be spent eating, thrift-shopping for my Halloween costume (I'm copying one of my Mom's ideas and being a Marionette), then curling up at home and rereading the rest of Watchmen. Did you ever finish that, Ab?

What are all of you doing for Halloween? Costumes, parties, pumpkin-carving?

It's so gray and rainy here--it was surprising humid this morning, but it's cooled down a bit since then. Strong winds, too. I want to hear some thunder and see some lightning! (But only after I get home and curl up--my living room has four windows with an awesome view of the sky.)

In other news, the drama has settled between my roommates, but unfortunately for Ryan, he suffered a very, VERY painful--erm--personal injury and has been out-of-commission for a couple of days, knocked out on painkillers. (Rotated testicle. WTF.) He's doing better, but is, naturally, a little embarrassed. Poor guy.

ANYWAY. Not much else to report, but I hope you're all staying warm and happy and healthy. :)

Love you!

-Alyssa

Personal Letters.

To Drea--

I'm so sorry about Nick. I know we both knew you guys wouldn't get married, but it's still so disappointing to see that structure you've built up for almost four years collapse so unceremoniously.

I would have hoped that Nick would have more respect for you, and a willingness to, if not work harder, let you down more gracefully than this. For someone who seems to be so even, his whims and emotions get the better of him sometimes.

You were in love for a long time, and I can't imagine how much this sucks. But you know you'll always have us.

To Emily--

I'm so excited for you to head off to England and have a blast and meet new people and make new friends (but not make TOO good of friends and forget us :P). You deserve it and I can't wait to hear your stories!

I'm ESPECIALLY excited for you to spend your break with me in Italy! Hopefully, by the time your break rolls around, I'll have gotten the hang of Florence and my routine. :) And we can go woo some Italian men. For you, of course, if you haven't found a cute and charming Oxfordian by then. :P

To our awesome upcoming spring! Cheers!

To Ab-Fab--

Despite whatever conflict arises, I'm really glad you're with Greg, and have had the chance to feel what it's like to be cherished. You're completely cherishable, and I hope you know that that's the way it should always be, not just "the best it could be".

You're awesome and we want you to take care of yourself! Love you!

To Bri--

Where are yoooooou?! You should get out of the wilderness for an hour to blog and let us all in on your adventures. Bear Grylls would be jealous. :P Either way, meet some brawny ski instructor while you're at it. :D You're so lovely and smart and funny, and it would be nice to hear from you more often!

Love you guys!

-Alyssa

P.S. I totally told Hot!Ryan he was hot last night, and I wasn't even embarrassed! I rule. :P

P.P.S. Oh, and I never mentioned that Lacie defriended me on Facebook, did I?

First Grave Shift of the Year.

So, here I am at the Commons, for my first grave since last semester. I took a caffeine pill and I'm ready to roll!

It's good to be back, I reconnected with Melissa and everyone, and when classes start I'll be seeing even MORE people and that excites me--heck, I even like getting to see the new freshmen!

My room is looking fab--I set up my bed frame today, so I feel very talented in carpentry right now. Go me. :) I'll have to take some pictures soon.

But, even though I've been getting back into the MICA swing of things, I'm totally jonesing for you guys ('You guys' being Em, Bri, AbFab and Drea, for those extras who read the blog, not that I don't love you too!)! I just wish we'd had more time to pal around--I only saw Bri for a day! But, I'll see you all soon enough, I hope! (VISITVISITVISIT<---my subliminal message to you.)

As some of you may have seen in my note, my classes for this semester are thus:

Monday: Native American Art (For now.)
Tuesday: 19th Century French Art
Wednesday: Intro to Ceramics
Thursday: Illustration Concepts and Short Fiction Workshop
Friday: Day off! :)

I'm looking forward to starting my classes--I feel like I'm struggling to remain occupied!

Ooh, 12:34 am. Make a wish! That this year will be fruitful and successful. Is that the same thing? OH WELL.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll be wishing I was unoccupied after a few weeks of classes. :P When that time comes, just remind me what I'm doing here! :D

You guys need to update me more about what you're doing! I feel like my word are dropping into the Internet Void. Gimme something to work with! :P

Miss you and love you dearly,
Alyssa

Drea's Homecoming!

-Get my driver's permit renewed.
-Actually learn how to drive.
-Take my driver's test.
-Talk to Mom about applying to SACI.
-Getting my passport.
-Call MICA about withdrawing for a leave of absence in order to go to Florence.
-Talk to MICA about Financial Aid stuff/enrollment.
-Get another Sallie Mae loan.
-Update stupid FAFSA.
-Fill out stupid financial forms for MICA.

As most of you know (there aren't to many people who read this), Drea is coming home tonight! Yay!

Hopefully we'll all be able to get together soon for the viewing of Ink.

Ab-Fab, any days off soon?

Again, not much to update, but I'll be seeing all of you soon anyway. :)

Oh, and Happy Birthday Sidney!


(Marry Me! :D)

Love,
Alyssa

Hooray for things to do!

Emily is home! And since we've already spent, like, 15 of the 36 hours she's been home and awake together, we are doing the logical thing and spending all day together again today. :)

It is SO nice to have someone [sane] to hang out with.

Drea will be home in two days, I hear Bri will be back for a couple days at the end of the month, and hopefully Ab-Fab, you can find some time to come down and hang out with us soon. We miss you!

Saw Lacie briefly on Sunday--it was awkward, and she got that dreadful Monroe piercing I advised against.

Short entry, but it's only been a couple days, so, not much to report.

Muah!

Love, Alyssa

"Thinking all my trumpeting thoughts..."

Okay, here's the lowdown.

I told (cried) Drea a great deal of this on the phone a couple of days ago, but for those of you who were blessedly exempt from my display, here you are:

My sister applied to one school (U of Maryland), and didn't get in. My mom told me that she knew Lauren wouldn't get in, but for some reason I cannot fathom, decided to indulge Lauren's embarrassment and "not talk about it" (AKA DO anything about it until, well, never). Most of you know that part, as well as about my complete disapproval.

A few weeks ago, pre-Lacie moving in, I had a fight with my mom about it. I basically told her it was ridiculous that Lauren hadn't made a plan by July (she got the rejection letter in FEBRUARY), and Mom somehow turned that into "You don't trust me as a mom, and you don't believe in your sister. Oh, and you're also a control-freak who is trying to manage everything". Needless to say, I was furious, and stormed out of my house for two hours. We haven't mentioned the argument again.

Somehow, Lacie coaxed Lauren into enrolling at CCAC, secretly. I would wake up, and they would be gone together, saying they were enrolling Lacie for pre-med courses, or just getting breakfast or whatever. Eventually, Lacie told me that Lauren enrolled, so I wouldn't be concerned about Lauren's future plans for the time being. As it turns out, Lauren didn't want Mom or Lacie to tell me what was going on, because I put pressure on her or whatever, so they all intended to keep it from me up until classes started or whatever. Also needless to say, I felt like a complete outsider in my own house. I was (am) insulted that Lacie was entrusted with my family's confidence over me.

I got so upset by this (and a few other things), that I ended up calling Drea and spilling it all (tearfully). Drea was completely supportive and properly appalled for me. :) She suggested that I confront Mom or Lauren, so I decided to ask Mom--I didn't want to cause any trouble for Lacie.

I asked Mom why no one had just told me, and Mom said that she told Lauren it was a bad idea to keep it from me, and to just tell me, but that she decided to let Lauren make her decision and just not mention it. I feel a little better now that I know Mom wasn't all "Oh yeah, definitely don't tell Alyssa", I just wish her mom skills were a little more present.

So, I know, and Mom and Lacie know I know, but Lauren doesn't, and I guess she'll tell me "when she's ready", as Mom says. Or, as I say, "on her first day of classes".

Anyway, things between Lacie and I are going okay--we got a chance to talk the other day, and I think things are moving in a better direction, communication-wise. She has an apartment now, and she'll be moving there within the next couple of weeks. Unfortunately, she'll be living with Rachel Blumer, which is the WORST possible roommate she could have as far as getting better is concerned. She and Rachel have been family friends and good personal frineds for a long time, but Rachel is the absolute LAST person who can help Lacie in her disease at all. In fact, Rachel was a major hindrance to Lacie for months. But, it's Lacie's decision, and I've already expressed my disagreement, and I'm leaving it there.

The thing that really made me breakdown and have a huge cryfest, was that my next-door neighbor Susan just returned from Ireland, and was talking about her trip, and in a nutshell, described how expensive every little purchase was, and it made me think about my pending trip to Italy, and about how, if I'll be struggling/working to pay off my rent during the year ALREADY, there's basically no way in hell I'll be able to save enough money after rent to support a flight to Italy and back, plus food, clothes, supplies, fun, etc. And it just made me so upset. I felt (feel?) just so trapped in that moment, I almost lost it right at the kitchen table.

I'm sad about it--it would've been so completely amazing, but I guess I have to wait at least another year to get out of the US for once. But, it can't be helped, and I don't really have a choice.

I still haven't broken it to Melissa, the girl I was supposed to live with there.

I'm sure I'll have MORE than enough on my plate anyway, with classes and work and getting a portfolio going that it'll probably be a good thing that I stick around. And I'll actually be able to perform in Hair, which is a kind of cool opportunity.

(Okay, this is the part where I'm completely wrecked, but I'm trying to make myself feel good about not going abroad. Is it working?)

Anyway, I ended up taking Drea's sage advice and going out with Nick tonight to Eat 'N' Park, and then Abby joined up with us later. Nick was also super-supportive and a good listener, which was nice. :) And I didn't cry! Almost, but I made it!

I also got a lovely call from Marla, who seems to be having a fantastic time in Baltimore--she loves her internship at the National Archives, and she's taken up swing dancing (and met a cute guy in the process!).

It just makes me miss everyone.

Thankfully, I got to indulge in a little retail therapy at Steve and Barry's today, where everything was on sale from less than $10 AND I had a gift card. So, I got this really cute pink t-shirt with the luxury tax symbol from Monopoly (I'm wearing it right now, it looks sort of like this: ), but better), and a cute green t-shirt with a cartoon deer on it that say "We All Could Use A Little Doe". It's totally stupid, but I like it. :P I got a few other things, but those were the best. :)

Oh, and some slouchy boots. Also good.

I also had my Chico's interview--it went well, and I think they want to hire me, but they have to check with the higher-ups to see if it's worth it to them to only have me for six weeks. Keep your fingers crossed!

So, yeah, that's what's been going on. I'm so glad I'm not just writing this into the ether of the internet, and that there are three important people who are reading this and get me. I really do love you guys. I say it a LOT, I know, but I mean it. :)

-Alyssa