Hopefully the Summer of Death has passed on as well...

It's been an emotional week over here--my Aunt Suzanne, who was diagnosed with cancer in May, died on Tuesday at about 5 AM--my Dad called me while I was in class, and there was this moment of confusion: 'Why is he calling? We just talked a few days ago...' Then it struck me that Suzanne must have died--he'd mentioned in the last call that there wasn't much longer. I slipped out of class and listened to the voicemail he left--sure enough, she'd died. I called him back, and he told me he and Lisa were the last people to see her--they tucked her in around midnight. She's being cremated, so he said he'd call back when they had plans for a memorial--it didn't have to be right away because she isn't being interred.

I was sad for Dad, and for Suzanne's live-in boyfriend and his son. It's odd, because I was out-of-town for the entirety of Suzanne's treatment, save Robby's funeral, and I barely saw my DAD that weekend, let alone had the chance to visit Suzanne. It's like it didn't happen.

I'm not super-close to my Dad's family, but Suzanne was absolutely the aunt that made the most effort with us. Remembered our birthdays, etc. She, like the rest of Dad's side, had her major issues, but she was fun and sweet and good-hearted.

The rest of the week was fine, if less productive than I'd have liked (story of my life)--John and I attended our first read-through on Saturday. It went well, although we all still have work to do. I need to learn how to make a British accent sound natural in two months' time. Get excited. And John and I were getting pretty excited about the trip to Annapolis we planned for this coming weekend to attend the Navy Homecoming football game with his family, even though we'd have to miss a rehearsal, which is whatever, because the game is a great opportunity to bond with John's people. (Again.) :)

Sunday was a particularly full day--Emily, John, and I got up early to go to the farmer's market with Melissa and a cute little junior named Mika, which was a lot of fun--we sang Disney songs. :D Afterwards, Em, John, Jen and I attended church. I was so thankful that Jen decided to attend with us, and to me complete joy, she loved it, and wants to keep coming with us! I'm really excited for that. The service itself was really great--we arrived a bit late, but we managed to integrate ourselves into the congregation during the sign of peace. Perfect timing. :P

The message was about poverty and wealth, and about the provisions of God, which is something I struggle with. I've been getting better about it, though! It was just good to have that reinforcement--God will always provide, and he has.

Dad called while I was in church--during the week, I talked to both Mom and Lauren about coming home for the service, etc. Lauren and I both expressed reluctance--it's inconvenient and expensive to get home, not to mention that we're not on the best terms with Dad. However, we also knew he'd take it as a personal insult if we were to explain that we're busy (I'm a senior in the midst of thesis. and Lauren is still getting used to a whole new school), and would take it out on us for months/years to come.

Dad left a voicemail, which I listened to after the service. As it turns out, the memorial service was planned for Saturday, the same day as the football game. :( Agonizing decision time. So, I called Lauren, who decided that she may as well go home for it (She also noted that I should "Just go to the game--repayment for all the times Dad bailed on us.", which is ungenerous, but not unfair.). Mom sympathized with me, and we weighed the options together (1. Have a fun weekend with my boyfriend's family and make sure Dad writes me out of his will. 2. Go home and sit in my Nana's parlor for an hour and half, hating life, but still ensuring $300 for Dad come Christmas).

The frustrating part was that I knew what I had to do, but it's very difficult to accept the fact that I would get no grace from him in this, and I honestly need the small sum he gives me every year for school. I hate having to depend on someone unreliable, but as pathetic as it is, I made the choice to go home and ensure that sum. Obviously John was understanding and encouraging (as he always is, the dear), but I was still pretty disappointed that I'd have to miss out on time with him and with his family, especially as The Girlfriend instead of The Mystery Friend-Thing. :P

I called Dad back, and without mentioning the game, told him that I intended to come home. He gave me a little relief by saying he'll be paying for my ticket home and back, which is nice, and I am starting to look forward to seeing Lauren and Brian (I miss making 'Why I Love Brian' posts--we haven't talked much lately) and Brandon, and Mom and KJ. I wouldn't have made it back until Thanksgiving, otherwise. And I do feel good about going back to be with Dad, even if it's hard to be the bigger person. I can do it and I'll try and be charitable.

As I mentioned in my last entry, John met my parents and godparents last weekend. It went quite well--Kathleen (my godmother) was completely charmed by him ("He's CATHOLIC?!! How wonderful!") and while my godfather Dane and my Mom goofed on his nerdiness, they liked him a lot as well. Mom came to Baltimore on the evening of the 14th and had dinner with John and I, which also went well, and I brought up the idea of bringing John home for Thanksgiving, which she was very receptive to. Unfortunately, John's mom was less into the whole thing, and put the kibosh on that pretty quickly, which I understood, as Thanksiving is her holiday in New Jersey, blahblahfamilytime.

However, despite her reluctance to let John travel one state over for Thanksgiving, she is apparently willing to pay for half of my plane ticket to go to England with John and two of our friends--they're going for Spring Break to visit John's friends from Bournemouth (where he studied this past spring). Now, this SOUNDS great, and I would love to be able to do it, but A) My mom is VERY against this idea ("You'd be traveling with a boy who is not your husband!"). Granted, I would go anyway, but that brings us to B) Even half a ticket is out of my price range.

My solution: Ask Dad for a Christmas/Graduation gift. :D Sounds perfect, right? Cue Aunt Suzanne's death. That sounds insensitive--I don't consider Suzanne's death a burden in that way--but truly, it is not the right time to be asking for money to be whisked away to Europe for a week. But who knows, maybe when I go home we'll talk about it.

But NOW, as this entry took me a day and a half to complete and post, it's time to go to my first one-on-one rehearsal with Kristin as Alice! It should be fun.

Love--

-A.

Comments from my mom's professional director friends about Ink. Woo!

"I watched your daughter's film. She was a really good choice for the part, very sweet, natural and out of this guy's league, but she still played approachable enough to buy her response at the end. There were a couple technical problems, the editing could have been a lot tighter, and the characters weren't set up well enough through the direction at the beginning, but all and all a very good job and interesting twist, which is the basis for a successful short film."

"Yes, she did a nice job! She's as photogenic as her mom, you can see the resemblance. Is she an acting student?"

:D What a pleasant surprise!

Yesterday was a good day after I posted the previous entry--I went to Paper Moon for the tasty hamburger I was denied on Thursday, and staked out Charm City Cakes with Abi (John's English friend who leaves today :D:), John, Cara (John's friend with a propensity to overshare), and her new boyfriend (via OKcupid) Tevis (who is surprisingly handsome and half-Asian).

Cara was particularly entertaining at Paper Moon, and decided that it was a great idea to talk about past bad dates on her third date with Tevis. To make this even better, one of the dates was with a diaper fetishist, and the other ended up with her in hives (that one took place in the last month, I think). However, Tev seemed unphased, and even more attracted to her than before, so...good for them? Although this is only the start.

After lunch, we went into Fells Point and visited Killer Trash, this famous thrift store (John Waters loves it, apparently), where I found my wedding dress. Not really, obviously, but I saw this short-sleeved, scoopneck white dress with this long flowy skirt, and I guess it occured to me that it could be wedding dress potential for someone, but I just wanted to try it on because it's pretty. So, I did, and I was kind of blown away. It fit me almost perfectly (the top was cut wrong, or maybe my boobs just take over life), and I admit, I looked pretty amazing. Even Tev was like "You're radiating at all of us!" I never used to understand why people cried at the sight of themselves/loved ones while trying on wedding gowns, but in that moment, I understood (I didn't cry!). But, it was pretty cheap fabric and $34 that I do not have, so I left it there, but got some photo evidence via Cara's camera, which I'll post when I can.

After that, we went for Mr. Yogato Frozon Yogurt, which we each got for 10% off for answering a few history/art trivia questions. We had to name four 20th Century art movements (we helped each other out on that one), and I got "What is another name for the Mona Lisa?". This stumped me for a few minutes, until the girl gave me the hint that it was in another language, and all on my own, I remembered "La Gioconda". :)

John, Abi, and John's roommate Ari (a funny and endearingly awkward Jewish boy) came over last night and we watched Disney movies (The Emperor's New Groove and Aladdin) and had a few beers in honor of Abi's heading back to England. I conked out during both movies, and ended up only getting about 4.5 hours of sleep last night. Woo!

I also got an amusing call from John's best friend Dave, who I met when I went to New Jersey to see Harry Potter 6, and have kept in touch with since. Amusing is only a part of the call though, which was actually disarmingly honest (bordering on harsh) and well-appreciated by yours truly.

I had two conversations with good friends yesterday about life never being 100%--sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith. That is something I have trouble with. Fear of the drop, remember? :P Just got to pray and try. I hate being wrong. I hate not knowing what I want. But maybe the key is to let go of what I want and concentrate on what GOD wants. (What a novel idea! :P)

I've been told that I'm good at seeing "the big picture", that I can help people see past their own points of view to put things in perspective. I hope that's true, and if it is, I think that it only applies to others, ha. I'm not very good at seeing "the big picture" in regards to myself. I mean, I know it's there, and I can acknowledge it, but usually in a bitter, mirthless way until it all calms down and I smack myself in the head for being so immature four days later. Selfish.

Another bit of excellent news: The MICA Playwrights Club (now the MICA Thespian Club, due to lack of proper writers, I'm sure) is putting on Closer this year, which is undoubtedly one of my favorite films/plays. I'd probably never be cast as Alice (I look/act too old), but playing Anna would be AMAZING. The audition is next Friday. Wish me luck!

Hope you all have a good day--Love!

-A.

ETA: OKAY. I found an artist that I thought Marla would like, and I posted it on her Facebook wall this past week. It was her birthday party last night, which I wasn't invited to, but I get that--Robin attended, and I'm sure it was fun. Today, I went to glance on her page to see that she not only deleted my friendship (which happened in the last week, tops), but deleted my post about the artist! REALLY. REALLY. REALLY.

Even Melissa, the most generous and sweetest person in the world has been like "HELL NO" about Marla's recent behavior. I mean, I'm a little hurt by it, but I guess this is the path to this being done for good (as if it weren't already). Grr. That annoyance about being the only one held responsible is coming back.

I believe in anything that brings you back home to me.

I've been working my patoot off since I got back from Sewickley, but I wanted to recap the events of the week briefly, while I have a moment!

The most important thing about my first day home was seeing Brian, which I did. I won't reveal much about that interaction, because it was private and special. However, it was moving and amazing to hear the way he was speaking--eloquently and simply and so honestly. Tragic and lovely.

He invited me the next day with Lauren and Abby to his cousin Lucy's house to put together some photographs of Robby for the viewing and funeral. A lot of family and friends were there, which was really touching and fun, and there was a lot of laughter--Robby was hilarious, after all--and the photos were great. Brian and Robby were dressed alike in all of the childhood photos. :)

The viewing itself was terribly sad. I arrived early, around 3:30 pm, and put a letter in the casket alongside Lauren and Abby. I watched family and friends approach the casket and leave gifts and notes and touch his arm and hair. I reconnected with Mike, Lacie's ex and my LONG ago high-school crush--he was particularly comforting to me, who didn't really know where I fit as far as closeness, and made me feel integrated. See, I'm close to Brian and Lucy and Abby, and Mr. Hague was one of my favorite teachers. I've hung out in their house, in Robby's room. Watched movies and hockey games and clip shows Robby put together. But I wasn't close to Robby, not really. Although, I realize now he always remembered to tag me in his silly Facebook photos of casts of his favorite shows. :)

I got a taste of justice as Brian, Abby, Mike, and I walked home from the post-viewing reception--we were about to cross Sewickley's main street when I saw a tall girl in a ridiculous brunette wig approach us, with a boy, from the side. Lacie. I ignored her, but I could feel Abby seize up in the same way I did directly behind me. "Mike Kerr!" Lacie called from the corner as we walked away from her.

Mike turned and waved, then shrugged--he had no idea who it was. Brian rubbed the bridge of his nose and asked, "Who was that?"

"LACIE," Abby and I practically whisper-shrieked back. It was almost too perfect--two of her ex-boyfriends, an old enemy in Abby, and me, the ex-bff.

But enough about her.

There was a reception the next morning for two hours before the funeral, and I saw a lot of teachers and old classmates, including Harton--the unattainable-senior-to-my-dorky-freshman--who kissed me on the cheek in greeting, surprisingly enough.

I made myself talk to the two most difficult people for me to approach--Robby's girlfriend Andrea and Mr. Hague. Andrea was easier--polite but responsive to my condolences. I put of Mr. Hague until the last moment, as the crowd was thinning and funneling into the sanctuary. I tried to put a kind but not-too-mushy sentence together: "Mr. Hague, look, I can't stay for the whole service, but--"

I got cut off. HE hugged ME. And thanked me. It was the most gratifying experience of my life.

The funeral itself was beautiful--I was reduced to a practical puddle the entire time. I actually ended up sitting towards the back next to Liz--MY old high school rival. She was sweet and generous to me, though, and even held my hand when I really started crying. I was lucky enough to stay for all of the eulogies before Robert picked me up. Robby's best friends JJ and Caleb spoke, and Robby's favorite aunt, and his stepdad, and Andrea, and Annie, Brian, and Mr. Hague. Each eulogy was heartfelt and perfect.

It rained that day--a cleansing rain.

I got to see a few other friends while I was home, Brandon and Emily and Joey V. Every visit was really wonderful--I've missed home and my friends. I feel disconnected from my self-appointed position of 'protector' at home and with friends. At this point, I'm pushing through the month of August (holy eff, it's AUGUST) until my friends arrive and MICA starts up again. I know I'll be complaining about work and thesis then, but anything is better than waiting.

I also have a new roommate--she moved into Betsy's room and I moved back into my old one. Her name is Emily Wade, and she's from Lynchburg, VA. She's a Christian in the way that Melissa and I are--not a casual believer. It's going to be so nice to have that companionship.

Two hours 'til I have to head out for work. Blah.

Love,

-A.

Sheesh.

Okay, be prepared, because I'm about to go into a ramble.

As most of you know, the little box under my Facebook profile picture says "I want undiluted love." This is very true. My friends know this and have referenced my own phrase to me several times when I've expressed hesitance with a guy--several guys since I've returned to Baltimore (as you may have read).

I appreciate what they are trying to say--plainly, "WHY ARE YOU HESITATING, YOU DUMMY?" These inputs, paired with my own observations, can be ironed out into these points:

1. It's easier to love than be loved/be halfway.

When I'm interested in someone, I can handle the person not feeling the same way. It still sucks--don't get me wrong--but then, like with any rejection, one can have the freedom and the right to feel sad, angry, hurt, upset, etc.

For me, I'm in this awkward and limiting place where I can't summon the same feelings or potential for those feelings. This is a natural thing--we don't fall in love with everyone who is interested in us. Doy. However, I feel stifled when I can't reciprocate more than a little. :/ (Not that this is every case, but I'm never 'all-there' for that other person.) It's so hard to "have the control" in the situation, when I don't have control over my own feelings!

2. It sounds self-centered--"Oh, all these boys love me, what am I going to do?!"

I hate looking like some fickle asshole jerking guys around--I was best friends with those butthead girls, and I don't want to become one, having disengaged myself from that behavior in others already. I hate looking like a tease, or careless. The last thing I want to do is give someone the wrong impression, but it feels like setting myself up for failure to SAY 'Oh, I'm just trying you out--we'll see if I like you someday.'

3. I don't just feel like there's something missing in one situation, or two, but in myself.

The biggest frustration is feeling like there's something wrong with ME in not being able to feel for these boys in return. Now, don't get me wrong--sometimes I felt exactly what I was meant to (Nick and Chris were total wastes of time, for example, and I 'm glad I didn't waste any feelings on them), but there have been awesome guys that care about me that I can't be 100% for when they really deserve it!

I've written before that I want to be able to work and grow in my feelings alongside the other person, together. That is made very difficult when the other person is leaps ahead of me in regards to their feelings about me. That is nothing they've done wrong, in the least. It's a complete honor--just a lot of pressure.

I had a much-needed phone call with Melissa last night--I've been in a bit of a faith rut recently, and that call with her was so helpful in reassuring me that I need to stop stressing myself out. I'll feel for a man when it's supposed to happen, whoever it's with. Whew. She also reminded me of a certain line in Song of Solomon (2:7) that I need to keep in mind:

In my Bible (NAS), it says this, "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, That you do not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases."

Melissa's version (NIV) says this: "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Her translation is much prettier, and well, applicable. :)

I have to be patient. (Dammit.)

An unrelated eyeroll, from the first paragraph of Lacie's new blog: "I'm tempted to write something serious or consequential about my recent fall from grace, my new crush, my penniless existence, or my complete state of unbelief and the apparent utter loss of a future. Instead, however, I'd like to revert back to focusing on my one, true love, fashion."

Yesterday was a lovely day off--I got some errands run, wrote a letter and a nice, long diary entry (6th handwritten diary begun--woo!), watched The Other Boleyn Girl and had bonding time with Kirsi, and got my phone charger back! I'm connected with the real world again! :P

Today will be as productive and relaxing, hopefully. It's already gotten off to a good start! I went into the Main Building this morning for some Financial Aid stuff, and ran smack into some conservators restoring the plaster casts in the lobby! I watched them for a little bit, and started talking to them about programs and opportunities. Ugh--before I'd even APPLY to a program I need two years of chem. And then art history (which I've mostly done) and languages (a working knowledge of reading French and German for NYU). Eesh. There are only four art conservation programs in the country--and only three I'd really consider: NYU (LOLASIFI'DGETIN), University of Delaware (where Diane and Lori, the conservators, attended), and UCLA/Getty. Ugh. It's all so competitive and scary!

Alyssa, concentrate on NOW. TODAY. Sheesh.

God, you are good. :) I see the little things, little hints and bits of information and possibilities you set out for me. Thanks.

Robin visited this weekend, which was great! We watched The Room, as planned, and I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF. It was so bad/good. Go watch it. NOW.

Having some alone time with Robin for the first time since January was also wonderful--I missed us! :) Although I have to say, we get on each other's nerves x1,000,000,000 now. Why is that? We argued way more than we ever did before this weekend. But we always apologized. :P

I also went to New Jersey, to see Harry Potter with John and his friends--that was also a very successful trip, and one of the reasons I went on the above ramble in the first place. His family and friends are wonderful, and I felt entirely comfortable and welcomed by them (with the exception of his ex, which is to be expected). John has invited me to go with him and his family and a few friends to his beach house in Delaware next month, which I would love. Finally, a chance to break out the bathing suit I got in Corsica! :P But seriously, it would be a great chance to spend more time with the awesome people in his life.

Especially his mom--I was the most nervous about meeting her after what we now refer to as "The Talk", but she was down-to-earth and fun and funny and very willing to joke about John's ex. :D She's a lot of fun and we really bonded.

ANYWAY, I have some thesis stuffs to do, then watching Closer before I have to return it to the video store. I don't think I ever described much about my thesis project, have I? I won't say too, too much, but I was inspired by David, who told me about an abandoned subway station his friend took him to. I'll just say there's a sort of escapist fantasy involved. :)

I hope you all have an awesome day. :) I'll try and update more, and better!

Love,

-A.

I've got sunshine...

Betsy moved out today--off to bigger and better things! (Psh, what's better than rooming with me? :P)

Before I go any further, GO PENS!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Anyone who was not there watching with me was seriously missing out on the hilarity. :D) YEAH PENGUINS!!!!!! PITTSBURGH RULES!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem.

So--this morning was spent helping Betsy and her Dad load up the cars. Mostly work, although I got a little break to talk to Melissa, who I saw for a whole forty minutes during her 3 day visit. :/ I don't really like that, but she apologized for not calling, so it's fine. We still have so much to catch up on.

After we finished packing everything up, Betsy's dad took us to lunch at Paper Moon and we talked about high school and Greasers-versus-Socs and tattoos and pregnant teens and living together before getting married. You know, all that wholesome family stuff. :P

I saw Bets and her Dad off in the early afternoon, and began to think seriously about an offer Betsy made me while we were emptying her room: she suggested that I move in. After all, I've been missing the sun like mad in my dark little room (for those of you who don't know, the windows of my room face inward to a shaft running down the middle of my building), and it would be nice to have a bedroom I actually WANT to spend time in. BUT, the person I really had to clear it with was Kirsi, the girl who is replacing Betsy for July and August. So, I called her, and she was completely gracious and permissive ("I'll only be there for two months anyway!"), so I started moving things in right away.

Already I'm feeling lighter and happier! Seriously, having a well-lit room is a huge thing for me. It's kind of funny, actually--I observed to Betsy last night that it would be her last night in that room. Oddly enough, it was my last night in my own room as well! Unfortunately I only moved a few things in before I had to go to work (where I'm now updating from), but the evening should be full of happy moving. :) Hopefully Jen doesn't mind, although I can't imagine why she would.

Jen should be returning in the middle of this week, so I'll be taking the next few days to spruce the apartment up a bit--cleaning the kitchen properly and finally getting rid of the piles of useless crap in the dining room (which is mostly Jen's--she gets touchy about people moving it, so I'll have to be delicate) to make the place look more complete. And decorating my new room, of course. :) Betsy left some photo prints behind, so maybe I'll put some of them up--leave a bit of her in the room, in a way. :) She was pleased that I'll be the one taking care of her room while she's gone.

(A huge group of old people just came in for a tour. Adorable, but also confusing. :/ :P)

Tomorrow morning is my third interview with the Hard Rock Cafe (I found out today the employees got to dress like rock stars at work today! Awesome!), and if I get the job, I start work right away and train for the day! Dad is less-than-keen on the fact that I'll have to make my way back from the Harbor late at night, but I think I can handle it. Wish me luck!

I also got to reconnect with an old friend today--I've never mentioned him here because he left MICA back in February of '08, before I started posting. The guy, Ty, was MIA for a year before I decided yesterday on a whim to text the number I had under his name, to see if it was still him. It was! He called me today and we caught up, and he's apparently making plans to visit in the fall! Ty was one of the guys I hung out with for the majority of sophomore year (including one DISASTROUS date). He was unhappy at MICA, but he sounds like he's enjoying himself a whole lot more. :)

It feels like things are going into a weird, new place--no Betsy, new job, new roommate, my first mostly-friendless summer in Baltimore. But I have faith I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. :D

More soon! Love,

-A.

Marriage.

Don't worry! Nothing has changed since I waxed lyrical about all of the weddings/engagements that have popped up in my line of vision in the last six months or so. No marriage plans here. :P

But, I did read an interesting Facebook note drafted by my childhood friend (and crush) Jack, the son of the pastor who worked at St. Stephen's when Mom, Lauren, KJ, and I left the Catholic church after Mom and Dad's divorce. He was writing, not specifically about marriage itself, but about his own impatience to move from 'transitional relationships' (dating) to marriage, which is something Betsy and I have been talking about at length recently--something I don't think I've ever mentioned here.

Betsy and I are in no rush to just BE MARRIED. We just know that we're both mature enough (out of our separate and very different relationship experiences) and both desire to take the next step to be wives and mothers. We both know we'd be good at it. We both know we're made for it. Betsy was closer than I EVER have been to making that happen, so she's not exactly keen on being back at Square One (and we all know how I've felt about that in my much tinier setbacks), and I know that God is preparing the right man for me right NOW (Scary! :P), and in my past relationship endeavors (I said PAST), I've always been the more mature, conscious half. I'm sick of screwing around with 'dating' in so many ways.

I'm not an idiot. I know I have to date in order to get a boyfriend in order to get a fiancee in order to get married (this is a simplified pattern, of course). I'm just impatient (shocking, I know :P). I just want that proper fit.

In other news, Melissa is visiting for the weekend! :D She was supposed to call and come over this afternoon between apartment tours, but that obviously isn't happening at this point, as her next one is at 4 (AKA now) and I'll soon be getting ready to see the Pens whoop the Red Wings (I hope! We can do it!).

Hope you're all wearing your black and gold! :)

Love,

-A.

HOLY SHIT IT'S APRIL.

Wow, guys. Two weeks and I'll be home with you! Can you believe it?!!!! I can't.

Not much new here, getting more work done on my comic, for sure! It's coming along really, really well, if I do say so myself.

David and I have been bonding awesomely! We get along so, so well, and we can talk about anything! It's been a huge relief to me--it's not that I don't feel comfortable talking to Mel or my roommates, but I guess I just feel like David is more sympathetic to me. We understand why the other is frustrated--we can level with each other without offering advice about how to react to something. I'll miss him!

Other than that, I've been thinking about classes for next semester, and enjoying the warmer weather--all standard positives!

I've been chatting with John on our Facebook wall about getting a few classes together next semester, and I got a really nice reply message from Casey (Robin's friend from high school, remember him from way back over Winter Break?), detailing how his semester is going. I messaged him back in January, and I was curious to see how he was doing--Casey and I got along really well, and I have to say, I want to keep hanging out with Robin's friends!

Emily--I found out my Painting Conservation final is this coming Thursday, and I'm supposed to come out to you on Wednesday. :/ I'm going to try and talk my teacher into letting me take it Wednesday morning, which would be IDEAL, because then all my written tests/shows would be out of the way, save my Etching finals, and I'll have another week to take care of that. :) I'll let you know how it goes down. Worst comes to worst, I'll have to come in on Thursday night. :((( Is that a super-issue?

Okay, I have to go, but I love you guys, and I miss you!

-A.

>:(

I've been a little annoyed the past few days--not in general, but at Melissa.

She's been strangely critical of me, like, putting me on the spot in front of our friends. First it was something simple and throwaway--I didn't think anything of it because it was so silly. We were having dinner with the apartment across the hall, and I must have guessed something about someone, and they asked me how I knew, and I jokingly replied, "Because I know everything." (Those of you who know me know I say this all the time.)

And Melissa immediately replies, very seriously, "No, you don't, Lyss."

Me: "Um...I...know that? I'm...kidding?" But it was no big thing, so I let it slide.

One instance where she was justified was when she got a call from Nadia--I guess I've never written about her here, which is weird. She's this Pentacostal born-again Christian from Canada that Mel and I met a few months ago at a Baptist church here. She's always rubbed me the wrong way--she's enthusiastic about her faith and that's awesome. However, she's naive and I think the best phrase to describe her would be 'So heavenly bound, she's no earthly good'. So, when Mel hung up with her, I half-jokingly said, "What's Nadia up to? Being crazy?"

And Mel got very stern and was like, "You shouldn't talk about Nadia like that. She's not crazy." And she's right, I was out of line, and I apologized.

But in the past couple days, she's been particularly prickly. Two days ago I was in the studio with Mel and Sarah, and I hadn't eaten all day, and it was about 4 pm. Mel and I were about to go home, and I don't even know what I did to prompt it, but Melissa volunteered, a little snottily, "When you don't eat you get really irritable and everyone can see it." Sarah and I were both really stunned, and later, Sarah said that I handled it very well.

Last night was probably the most tense, though. She had just returned from a non-date (in her opinion) with an Italian boy, and she told us all that he offered to drive us all up to the countryside this weekend if we wanted. Everyone was really into it, but I gave Mel a 'maybe', because I have a SHIT TON of work to do (and so does she) before our show on the 6th. She gave me a little pushback but let it go. A few minutes later she says, "You better come this weekend."

I was surprised at her forcefulness, "Why?"

She said something to the tune of "You just should."

I replied, a little saltily, I'll admit, "No. I don't have to do it because you're telling me to. I have a lot of work to do this weekend. I'm not saying no, I just need to think about it."

She immediately looks down and remarks, "Well, YOU'RE in a bad mood tonight."

And I'm pleased to say I had the right reply to shut her down for the evening: "No, I'm not. I've eaten today and everything!"

And I said it all with a smile. Emily later said that she thought I was kidding around.

I know Melissa gets impatient with my matter-of-factness (unlike, say, Robin, who finds it charming, for some reason. :P). But there is a better way to handle it than to try and 'humble' me in front of our friends.

Christine's brother left this morning for Australia (for a giiiiirl) after a week in our apartment, so last night was 'Get-To-Know-Jim' night. I heard about his high school sweetheart, his first time (the girl [not the sweetheart, actually] was a recent ex, then jumped into bed with another guy the same night--ouch), his bitchy cheating ex, and his current girlfriend, who has an eating disorder and moved out of the house at 16 because her family life is crazy. But yeah, I always end up having these deep, serious conversations, which I like. It's just funny knowing I'll probably never see him again, and I know all this stuff about him.

Okay, today is Etching and Painting Conservation Lecture. Then MORE drawing--I intend to get all the final penciling done tonight, so I can get to inking tomorrow. Yippee! :P

Hope you guys are doing well! Love you and miss you.

-A.

:D

This past weekend was really, really pleasant.

An acquaintance of mine from MICA, John, visited Florence over the weekend (he's studying animation in Bournemouth, England this semester) and stayed with #10. We had never really gotten to talk much before this visit, and I was excited to get to talk to him more. I was stunned to hear how much we have in common (aside from our unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter)! And best of all, he said that he'd been excited to see me on the visit too! It was flattering and nice to have a new person to get to know. :)

And he said I was beautiful and have a "fantastic voice". That helps. :D

ANYWAY, I got some more work done for my crit with Kevin today, and Mel and I oversaw some awesome cooking that happened in our apartment this weekend! Saturday night we made roasted red pepper (vegetarian) chili, and last night we made baked mac and cheese (using fontina and pecorino instead of cheddar). SO. GOOD.

I also got to talk to Emily, which was a very, very pleasant surprise! I'm so excited for our trip!

Okay, I have to get to my crit! I hope you guys are having an awesome week so far!

Love you, miss you!

-A.

La Citta Eterna!

So, I went to Rome this past weekend!

I caught an evening train, intending to meet Melissa at the Roma Termini station between 6 and 7. My train got in at 6:10. I knew Melissa's train got in at 6, so I looked around the relatively small platform, then planted myself nearby so she could see me. After 25 minutes, I decided to walk around a bit, see if maybe she was doing the same thing by staying in one place. No luck, so I waited in a different spot for about a half hour. By then I knew it was time to find a way to the hostel--maybe she had just gone ahead and checked in. I asked the guy at the Information Desk if he knew where I could find an internet cafe, and he just said "Outside". As in "Out there in Rome". Thank you, very helpful.

Luckily, there was one very nearby, right across the street. I went in, got my ticket, and got to work. Melissa had e-mailed me the hostel details earler in the week, so I got the name and address, and blessedly, a woman who spoke perfect English was sitting next to me, and she communicated with the owner of the internet point to direct me to 'Via Curtatone'. It took me about 20 minutes to find, despite being withing walking distance, but I got to Legends Hostel, and I was fine.

Unfortunately, Melissa was nowhere to be found. She hadn't checked in yet, and it was already 8:30, two and a half hours after she was supposed to arrive. Also, I hadn't talked to her in four days--who knows what had happened? She could be anywhere! Even worse, I had no idea which leg of the tour she was coming from.

So, I got to our room, where two guys our age were already sleeping. Or had been, because I woke them up. Thankfully, they were nice about it, and had intended to get up in order to go out and party. They were students from Lehigh, in Pennsylvania (what a coinkydink!) on spring break--Greg and Mike. I initially mistook them for my roommate Emily's boyfriend and his roommate, because they have the same names and were in Italy this past weekend, but I forgot the part where Emily's boyfriend is 28.

So, I laid out the whole deal to Greg and Mike (well, mostly Mike--Greg was still half-asleep), and after about a half hour of worrying, the snotty girl from the front desk knocked on our door, and Melissa and her giant backpack stepped out from the hall! I was so thankful! We were both pretty darn glad to see the other was okay. Since we had missed dinner at the hostel, the two of us decided to check out 'Insalata Ricca', a salad place that is apparently very popular. And with good reason. The walk was practically a hike to get there, but it was SO worth it. I had a 'miele' (honey) salad with walnuts, sliced beef, apples, and honey sauce. OMG. SO GOOD.

And since we got there so late, we were there past midnight, so Melissa was allowed to take her break from the Daniel Fast she's doing for Lent, and we shared a chocolate mousse. :)

Friday morning was the full day--We hit the major ruins first--the Colosseum (there's poetry in that diagonal, I swear), the Forum, Sacra Area (which was awesome for the new, as well as the old.), and we crossed the Tiber and checked out Isola Tiberina, this little island in the middle of the river, and I had this DELICIOUS prosciutto and brie sandwich. Then we crossed all the way and hiked up the hill to the Temple of St. Peter, where he was 'traditionally' crucified. Yeah, not so much. :P

We made it back to the hostel in time for "Pasta Night", and we met a few American students (one from Nebraska, one from Oregon) studying in Bulgaria. RANDOM! But they were so nice, and love Harry Potter. :D

That night, we went to the Trevi Fountain--it was lovely. So gorgeous--practically in motion. Melissa and I were pressured to buy a bouquet of roses (read: they were shoved into our hands and then he demanded payment), then Mel was scammed on by an aging punk-rocker with a crutch. SRSLY. Then we got giant, chocolate-dipped cones of yummy gelato, saw the Four Rivers Fountain and then walked to the Spanish Steps. The view was awesome. It's amazing to think that people live there and see it every day out their windows! It's awesome.

Saturday, we went to the Pantheon--it had been closed for a prayer mass the day before--and there was barely a crowd, which was great! Then we headed to Vatican City, got more tasty sandwiches and ate them in from of St. Peter's Basilica, then went to the Vatican Museum, where I was flirted with by one of the twentysomething workers in security. He thought I was French, then WHISTLED. It was actually pretty funny. :P

The musseum itself had some cool stuff--an early Christian art exhibit, which consusted of mostly sarcophagi from the 4th century, and the decidedly unexciting Egyptian exhibit. But it was all good preparation for the main event.

The Sistine Chapel Ceiling is, without a doubt, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The craft is impeccable, the motion and imposition--the bodies are COMING OUT OF THE WALLS. It was amazing. I just sat and stared for almost an hour. So gorgeous. :D

But we did have to go and get ready for our train ride home, which we caught around 6:50, and we were home by 8:30! Then we got to meet the REAL Greg and Mike. Greg was a total kind, invested, funny gentleman--Emily is a lucky girl! But she totally deserves it. And Mike was rougher around the edges, but a brilliant storyteller, and it's clear that he has a gooey center. :)

Emily and Christine's friend AJ (who goes to Pitt) also visited, and I found out that she and Brittney Nolfi happen to be great friends! But she didn't know the "Whoops, Brittney got crowned Homecoming Queen by mistake" story, so I filled her in, and AJ confirmed once again that Brittney and Tyler Kennedy did indeed date, and that he was, indeed, entirely obsessed with her. I don't think I ever doubted it--she would date any of the Pittsburgh Penguins she could get, and he would date anyone as hot as Brittney because he kind of looks like a pug. But he's a dab hand at hockey! Go TK! :P

Also, today I read a note Rachel B. posted about good men. The note wasn't important, but the responses were:

Nicole H.: I'd like to believe good men exist. All the bad men have ruined for them. it must be hard being a good man. You might never get recognized for it. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing” ~ Edmund Burke

Amiri H.:(Even though I never met her, this almost in direct response to Ms H.'s comment) Sometimes, and for various reasons, good men do bad things that do a lot of damage that was never intended. This unfortunately means that the world is even more complex than we thought! Isn't that wild?!

Nicole H.: Very true. How is it then that good men do bad things? Maybe they need stronger convictions, or a better reason to do good things? I’d like to think that a good woman is enough of a reason to do good things, maybe even excellent things. Unfortunately, I’ve seen good men treat good women quite badly. Maybe the good woman is not a worthy motive because even good women can do bad things. I think the only worthy reason for a good man to do good things is because he serves a good God. My conclusion is that more men need to understand God’s unquenchable love for them and know who they are in His eyes, which is truly good men (despite their failings and shortcomings). They must learn to walk in the honor and integrity that he has called them to, strengthened by His grace. And good women? They must know the same and extend grace just as the Lord has done so unto them.

Good response, I think. Great response.

I got to talk to Robin, Sam, and Jessie yesterday! It was so great to se them together--Sam and Jessie went to Baltimore on their spring break. I miss them!

As some of you may know, in about a month I am going to Corsica with Em! Have a mentioned this? OH WELL. It's very exciting and I can't wait to see her!

How are wedding plans going for Kamala, Drea? Maid-of-Honor speech coming out well? :) I can't wait to see photos!

Ab-Fab--I saw a motorcycle jacket here that I WISH I could buy for you! I know you've been wanting one! How's YOUR Greg?

Wow. This has been a looooooong entry. Time to go do something with my day! :P

Love you guys and talk to you soon,

-A.

Ciao, Venezia!

So, this weekend was a sometimes-fun, sometimes-obnoxious foray into Venice Carnevale!

Me, Mel, and three of the four members of #10 (Noel, Morgan, and Emma) caught the train out of Florence at 8:30 AM on Friday morning, and made it into Venice, and into the hotel by noon. Once good thing I can say about the cheap-but-should-have-been-cheaper hotel was that it was WARM. Venice was freezing! Naturally, being near all that water.

Friday was really amazing--we got the obvious gondola ride (but at 20 euro less than usual! Score!). We had the privilege of having a cute gondolier, Thomaso, who informed us that one needs over 6 YEARS of training to be a gondolier! Holy EFF.

After the ride, we hit the market at Piazza San Polo, where we saw the hot Catholic priest calendars that make me want to weep--the cover priest should not withhold his glorious genes from humanity! Interestingly enough, there was also a hot gondolier calendar, and we started joking around about Thomaso being in it, and lo and behold! He was Mr. August! That was pretty fantastic, to say the least. :)

That night, we got all gussied up in our masks, and hung out in one of the piazzas with live music, apparently cobbled together by three drummers, a sax player, a trumpeteer, and a tambourine. Fun, but all the shoving and bumping kind of made me want to smack a bitch. We poured ourselves into bed around three AM.

Saturday was okay--a lot more people in the city, that's for sure. The density must have tripled overnight! Mel and I went separately from Noel, Morgan and Emma, who decided that sleeping was more imporant than being in VENICE. WHATEVER. We met up with the missing member of #10, David, briefly, then with our other roommates and our building-mates (who came to Venice with SACI), and hung out at Piazza San Marco for the afternoon, tooling around in our masks and feeding the pigeons, who are not shy and WILL land on you if you prompt them.



BAM. (My new profile pic, naturalement.)

Melissa and I made it out of Venice after an HOUR of shoving through the crowd, but we made it to the bus, met up with our oversleeping travel buddies, and caught the train home. We. Were. EXHAUSTED. To say the very least. But that didn't stop Me, Mel, and Emma from staying up 'til 3 AM to watch Green Wing, which is the UK's solution to Scrubs, but BETTER.

Sidenote: I've been making a ton of allusions to how awesome "Hey Arnold!" was this week. Like, a TON.

Sunday was lazy--Mel and I just lounged around, made a big breakfast, then got a pancake dinner. :) I had a mini-freak out about money and my art and the future, and I was reminded of how lucky I am to be friends and roommates with Mel. Once again. :) As if I could forget!

Today was fine--went to Santa Maria Novella and sent my belated V-Day gift to Robin. I have to run, actually, I'm making dinner for my roomies tonight and I need to pick up a few things!

I love you guys, and I'll try and be less of a lame about updating! (Although I must say, I'm keeping up the best out of all of you! Save Ab-Fab, who seems to be on-par. Ab--how are you and G? Everything good?)

Have a great day!

-A.

P.S. Did I mention my mom is OFFICIALLY ENGAGED?! WOOOOOOOO!

Okay, everything is fine.

Despite yesterday's repetitive post, everything is fine. Just has a little moment of "Oh Hai Alyssa, btw, you're a little retarded sometimes." It's sorted for now, so don't worry! :)

I'm having group dinner with Mel and #10 tonight--I'm making lemon/garlic/caper pasta! Wish me luck, because I'm pretty sure I'm executing this without a recipe. It's not a hard recipe, but I get a little nervous! :P

We're going to Siena and San Gimingano tomorrow, so yay! Hopefully the rain isn't too bad.

I love you guys, and I'll try to update more soon. :)

-A.

Pisa e Lucca!

If you guys make your way to my Facebook, you can see that I've posted some new photos! The photo uploader is a little bit of a bitch, so they might not all be there when you log in to see them, but soon enough! Promise!

Our trip was really fun, although it was SO rainy, and subsequently freezing, which wasn't great, but the churches and museums were so awesome.

Pisa was my favorite of the two--the Tower was awe-inspiring, and the Baptistry was so amazing! They did this acoustical demonstration, where one of the attendants sang up into the cone/dome structure, and it sounded like a choir of people singing softy with them. It was wonderful. I didn't climb the tower (it cost 15 euro!), but it was enough to just see how cool it is.

Lucca had it's charms too--it's churches housed two really interesting tombs--one was a well-preserved body of a 13th century saint, St. Zita (allegedly), and the other was a commemorative marble tomb built for a teenage wife who died in childbirth. It was so gorgeous. And there were some 900 year old manuscripts in the cathedral museum! Excellent calligraphy.

All in all, a very successful trip. I'm going to try to go to Rome with them in two weeks, too, if it doesn't cost too much. Wish me luck!

Melissa and I attended an American Episcopal Church a little ways down the Arno yesterday. They're choir was small but powerful (I want to join, and I'm attending a meeting on Wednesday), but the sermon and hymns were so weird. One hymn talked about how the fishermen were happy and content before Jesus called them, and how Peter and John suffered horrible endings as a result of their service to God, and how God's Peace isn't peace at all, but we should pray for it. It was so weird.

And the female rector gave the sermon, which started out talking about Jesus calling the fishermen to follow him, and then she had this theory that they'd all known each other for years, and that the following was the culmination of a decades-long argument about 'vocation' and misunderstanding Jesus. THEN it was about a Holocaust survivor who stayed alive in Auschwitz because he was a tailor and could sew German uniforms. He came to the US, remarried, and had a daughter and a son. He taught the daughter to sew (his 'vocation'), and somehow his transferring of his suffering to her via sewing caused her to become anorexic, or something? I have no idea. It was so random. Then it was like "There is no fate or destiny, we all have a choice in our vocation." And I'm like, "Yes, we have a choice, but there's GOD'S PLAN, remember?" I don't know. I can't judge the whole place by one sermon.

ANYWAY, I guess I'll go back one or two times and see if it's for me. Mel and I are going to visit a home church next Sunday night and see what that's like as well. :)

I made a mix back for Robin. I hope he likes it! :D I miss him a lot.

I miss all of you! Florence would be so much more amazing if you were all here with me. Muah!

I have to go grab a quick snack and head back to class. I love and miss you all dearly. Have a great day!

-A.

My sexiness is complete.

I've been having a lovely day!

This morning, Mel and I got up and Emma met us at our place, and we went out to shop the January saldi! (Sales.)

Mel and Emma were on the hunt for boots, and I was just tagging along really, and if I found something cheap, great! Now, my feet are far too big to find boots here in the EU (a 41 [the largest size I saw] was about the right length, but my feet are WAY too wide), BUT, I did stop into this shop called Goldenpoint, where I knew I could find some cheap tights. So, I was looking at the wall of tights, and I saw a particular package of sheer black, lace-topped thigh-highs. I was, naturally, smitten. They weren't in my size, so I had to dig around a little to find the right pair.

Then I saw a pair that were seamed, and my heart skipped, so I grabbed those in my size too. THEN, at the counter, I saw a small box with a picture on it. A picture of a gorgeous lace garter belt and matching stockings. And I think I died a little with excitement. (I was inspired by you, Em! :P) SO, I bought the seamed stockings and the garter belt set for about 25 euro, which isn't bad at all. AND, to satisfy my little girl side, I found a pair of bright red tights practically next door for 4,75! IT WAS AMAZING. And now, I am sexy.

So, the three of us crossed the Ponte Vecchio, still looking for boots (we were unsuccessful, as they were A. Very expensive or B. Not our taste), and we stumbled onto this awesome, cheap mini-supermarket. I bought 1,5 liters of Sprite for 1,60! (Very cheap, let me tell you.) And cereal! And butter! It was exciting. :D

Anyway, tonight, #10 is coming over to our place to make a yummy, communal dinner, and then me, Morgan, Emily and Christine are going to find this bar that's broadcasting the AFC championship between the Steelers and the Ravens! Hopefully we kick butt! Go Steelers!

I love you and miss you all. Hope you're all having a great day! Let's talk soon!

-A.

The Marcato.

Let me briefly describe a trip to the Marcato Centrale.

You walk past hundreds of street vendors, selling t-shirts and leather goods, and telling women that they'll give them a "deal for [their] pretty smile".

Then you get to the warehouse, and you walk up the steps and into a wall of raw meat smell, which isn't pleasant, but somehow amazing to see all of the butchers with their aprons stained with pinkish blood carving up chickens and pigs and cows. I even saw a whole rabbit carcass today, frozen in mid-leap, but on it's back, skinned and tasty-looking.

The first floor is all meat, cheese and bread (there's a cute bread stand with yummy baguettes where the workers wear straw hats with sunflowers on them). There's a candy stand and a few produce stands, but the good produce is on the second floor. You can get almost anything there. Dried fruit, nuts, blood oranges, delicious apples. God, so GOOD!

It's hard to order what you want initially, especially if you don't know the numbers. So you do a lot of pointing and holding up the right number of fingers, until you learn to say "Una uva moscotello" (a scoop of black raisins), et cetera. It's actually really rewarding once you get through a transaction by yourself, even if you use a little English. :P

It's always a bustle, and I like going, even if it is a walk to get there. :) And, bonus! There's a Bank that ACTUALLY changes money nearby! Pretty amazing.

I got to talk to my mom and Robin yesterday. Mom is doing fine, and KJ (for the brief time we spoke) seems just as silent on the phone as usual. :P I'm sorry I missed you Em! When I got off with Robin you had signed off! I'll catch you soon.

Me, Mel and #10 (what I call Noel, Emma, Morgan, and David's apartment) watched Hook and ate half-price gelato, which was TRES tasty. (Or MOLTO, my bad.) ALSO, I found out that David watches Gossip Girl! We totally bonded, and we have a date to watch the new episode tonight (Obviously not a real date, just a nerdy GG one)! He is the BEST. EVER. :P

I love and miss you guys! How are all of you? Update!

Muah!

-A.

Spending money=SUCK.

I just spend 50 euro on Student Medical Insurance, after putting it off as long as I possibly could. :( Boo on spending money. I didn't want to spend half my money in the first month.

BUT, despite any trouble with money, I'm getting adjusted more and more. I think I've been a bit of a burden on Mel, which I didn't want. Now that she's succumbing to being overwhelmed, I'm starting to see that she wasn't as peaceful and ready as I first thought. But I am glad she's here--I know she was placed here alongside me for a reason. I jsut hope I can be as supportive of her as she's been of me.

Anyway, I got to talk to Robin yesterday for almost two hours, which was AWESOME. It brightened my day, and while it made me miss him more, I felt better afterwards.

Then I went out with Mel and David and Sarah and Emma to this little restaurant next door where they had incredibly tasty pizze.

I miss you guys a lot, but I know I'll at least see Em over Spring Break, so I'm holding out for that! March, here we come! A month and a half to go! :P

I have a day off today, and I'm going to the Marcato Centrale to get some food for the next few days. I love you guys and I'll talk to you soon!

-A.

:(

I can't say I've been enjoying myself thus far. My luggage is missing, and I was locked out of my apartment last night (thankfully I was with Melissa and we knew where some classmates lived so we could ask to stay--although it's illegal to have overnight guests due to anti-terrorist laws. SRSLY.)

My apartment is actually very nice--we have a spiral staircase. Unfortunately I haven't been able to enjoy it because of my stress over my luggage. I feel like I'm constantly crying, which is horribly embarrassing, because I know I should be enjoying this despite the problems.

Also, no wireless in my apartment, which means no Skype until we make a specific date. If anyone has a day/time, I'd be happy to work around it.

Wish me luck with everything working itself out. I'll try and update soon.

I miss you guys very, very much.

Love,
A.

How could I forget?!

This morning, I totally forgot to tell you guys how awesome my MICA friends are!

Last night, Paul, Marla and Robin came over, and me, my roomies and the others ate some Chinese food to celebrate the end of the semester. I worked from 9-12, amd Robin visited and then walked me back to my apartment, where I found the door locked. That was normal, so I turned my key and tried again. The bolt was done. Again, not too weird, but it was awfully early to be locking up for the night. So, I unlocked that and tried again. The CHAIN lock is done, too! So, then I figure there's something up inside that is not meant for me to see yet.

Me: "Did you know about this?"
Robin: *grin* "Know about what?"

So, Paul comes to the door and says "If I let you in, will you go STRAIGHT to your room?" So, of course, I do. Robin comes in after a few minutes and faces away from my window with me (my window looks straight into the kitchen):

Me: "How long have you guys been planning this?"
Robin: "I have no idea what you're talking about." *grin*

Finally, Betsy knocks on my door, and I turn around to see Paul, Betsy, and Jen ushering in a MASSIVE cake shaped like an alligator's head, covered in green M&Ms with a little sign saying "Cya Later Gator!" and "In a while, Crocodile!" Apparently, they all went to the supermarket as soon as I left for my shift. :) (Minus Marla, who went to a yuppie party in Federal Hill with her fellow fashion designer.) Aww, they're so sweet! So, we all changed into red-and-green (Italian colors, you know) and watched Pineapple Express (or slept though it :P), and Ryan showed up during the movie, which was nice.

___

Robin just called me to tell me he'll miss me.

:)

I'm really going to miss him, too. Not just the kissing part, obviously, but he's really grown to be my best friend this past semester. I don't really talk to anyone the way I talk to him (mostly because he's the first close guy friend I've ever really had). I think we're both like "Who are we going to confide in now?!", because while I love Melissa dearly, I can't talk to her about things with Robin, because she's even more pristine than me. And I she doesn't know the history of my roommates, or my friends at home. I won't have any more Robin to come around or to go to whenever I want to see him, and that's sad. It's like moving away from The Boy Next Door that I grew up with and shared everything with.

:(

Aw, now I'm sad.

Either way, my friends and roommates showed me how loved I am, and how much I'll be missed, and I'm SO grateful for them and their love.

But, I admit, I can't wait to get back to all of you. I've missed you guys, and I feel like we've been deprived of each other since Summer '07.

I love you all, and I'll be nearly home by this time tomorrow! :D

Muah!

-A

P.S. www.betsyvanlangen.com

>>Portfolio
>>Interrobang
>>I'm the third one in: white face with black text. :) Betsy is the first one, with the paint. Jen is covered in eggshells, Ryan in crayon wax, and Robin is PB and J.

102

I realized that my Worst Day EVER post was my 100th post. Ooops.

But I'm still worrying. :(

Anyway, I have one more week of MICA. I'll be home Sunday the 21st. You all better be home so I can call you up immediately and come see you!

I can't even believe I'll be getting on that plane (hopefully on time) in three weeks.

That's nothing. No time at all. God damn.

I'm going to miss you guys so muuuuuuch! :( But I know I'll get to talk to you a good bit since I have Skype now, so. :) DOWNLOAD IT SO I CAN SEEEE YOU.

As soon as I get home, I have to launch myself into packing properly (you're all welcome to give me tips on traveling lightly abroad :P), seeing all of my friends, tying up loose ends, etc.

Basically it will go like this:

Dec 21st: Return Home.
Dec 21-23: See you guys as much as I possibly can. Pack.
Dec 24-25: Christmas with my family.
Dec 26-31: See you guys as much as I possibly can. Pack.
Dec 31-Jan 1: Go into Pittsburgh with Robin to see Jessie and Sam and perhaps Marla. Maybe we can make a huge, blended party out of it? What are you guys doing for New Year's?
Jan 1: Say goodbye to Em! :( Pack more.
Jan 2-Jan 5: Say all my goodbyes and have last-hang-outs. Watch the new Gossip Girl with Abby M!
Jan 6th: Get on a plane to New York! OMGGG! Then to Frankfurt, then to Florence with Melissa!
Jan 7th: Cry all the way there, arrive, and have a fantastic time! :D

Sound good?

Finals are almost done--I have one exam today, one tomorrow, a project due Wednesday (basically finished), and 2 pencil drawings and a typed story I've already written due Thursday. Nothing too exerting, thankfully. At this point, my biggest anxiety are those visa forms, and how Mom needs to get then back to me NOW.

Okay, deep breath. God's got this.

I love you guys! I can't wait to see you. :)

-A

(ETA: Mom called--the forms will be here tomorrow by noon, then on Thursday morning I can get it sent out. Whew. Dear God, let this be timely!)

My birthday festivities.

I had a shift on the 15th from 9pm-12am, so I turned 20 while sitting at the Commons desk. I ACTUALLY turned 20 at 4:59pm, while I was in Robin's bed.

I woke up at about 10, and just laid there until my dad called at 10:30, then got up and got myself to CLEANING. Our apartment was pretty gross (piles of dishes, clutter, dust, hair), and even though it was my birthday, I was happy to get all the crap out for 1) my party and 2) the girl I may sublet to who is coming to see the apartment tomorrow evening. It's now a trillion times more beautiful, thanks to MOI. :)

Unfortunately, Jen had to take the opportunity to be a complete ASS and talk to her ex-boyfriend on the phone and get into yet ANOTHER fight and cry all over Betsy for twenty minutes while I forced myself not to go in and yell at her. I SWEAR. Jen--Dylan always warns you that he's going to treat you badly. Boys always warn us. Yes, it sucks that he treats you like that, but you choose to engage in it time and time again, so it's your fault. I'm unafraid to say that you getting hurt by Dylan is your fault. If you had just broken it off in the first place instead of fucking him when he visited over fall break, you wouldn't be in this mess. And yet she STILL intends to take him home for Thanksgiving and pretend they're still together. LAME.

ANYWAY, I vented about it to Betsy for an hour or so while Jen ran out to get brunch, and then at about 2:30, Robin called me to tell me that his bus got in 45 minutes earlier than expected--a lovely birthday surprise. He had been in New York to see Andrew WK perform with a string quartet. So, Betsy and I picked him up, and I hung out at Robin's while Betsy and Jen started the cake.

I made it home around 5:30, then helped a mopey Jen dress (she looked all gorgeous :D), then Betsy (who has the most bomb-ass [to borrow a Lauren Term] gold Dolce high-heeled oxfords I've ever seen), then, at about 6:30, I started curling my hair. I was ready by seven, and Robin showed up around 7:20, then Erin and Melissa a few minutes after then. But, of course, my birthday seems to end up being the day people have the least respect for showing up to places on time, so Marla, Paul, and Tiff didn't get there until 8:30. And THEY had the menus! Grrr. So, we ordered our food (only five of us ended up eating out of the group of eleven), and started cake while we were waiting (Hot!Ryan [looking HOT] and Colin joined us for that). The cake was SO rich and tasty. :)

Our food showed up, and we laughed A LOT, about art kids, mostly. :) It was an incredibly pleasant evening, and I have leftovers to look forward to when I get home. :D

I'll try and have some pictures of my HAWT outfit and my AWESOME shoes by this afternoon. :) Thanks for the birthday wishes, you guys! Love you!

-Alyssa