The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Why is it that more than almost anything, money (or my lack of it) backs me up so completely? Everywhere I am, it follows me around like a storm cloud, and I hate it.

I found out about a week ago that I have an outstanding housing balance, and after I spoke to the SACI rep in NYC, I talked to my grandparents--who, as you all know, offered to cover the expenses of my semester so I could experience Italy. I assumed that they just hadn't received the SACI bill or something, but their e-mail response was basically like "Oh, we were only covering the tuition (which went through MICA). We don't have $4100 for housing." Which is perfectly fine--just a bad misunderstanding. I'm more than grateful that they got me this far.

But now, I'm put in that horrible crunch where I have to:

A.) Get (another) loan.
B.) Get a credit card and pay the balance on credit.
C.) (Worst case scenario, of course) Being forced to leave SACI mid-semester, which opens up a WHOLE other can of worms about me being behind on my degree plan, getting left behind, etc.
D.) Discover a rich relative, become their favorite niece and murder them for the inheritance. :P

I guess it's nothing to be too stressed about right this second, but I hate that shameful feeling that stems from everything involved with this situation--my failure in planning, admitting that failure, and the tension of trying to rectify it. I just feel crappy about how poorly I end up handling these situations! I know I should just stop whining and DO what I need to do. I just want to stop feeling so blocked by these problems.

ANYWAY, I'm doing well otherwise. I have a Skype date with Robin in 45 minutes, and I'm finally getting started on my independent pieces tonight! The sketching is complete, and now I'm starting the cutouts themselves! I'm really excited to get them going.

I love you guys, and I hope you're doing well!

-A.