Thursday, July 31, 2008

Alyssa puts on her 'Political Hat'.

(This is more for me, but feel free to comment.)

Since seeing the trailer for Oliver Stone's 'W', and the subsequent news commentary, I've decided that people want the President of the United States to be a superhuman. (Perhaps I've reached this conclusion very late.)

Not only should he do everything to please everyone all the time while in office, he should never have had any past indiscretions. It seems that the Western world, in tormenting George W. Bush for his college days/National Guard enlistment, is indicating that the President should not be a human that makes mistakes. (Not that his National Guard enlistment was a mistake at all--it's just portrayed as one.)

I'm not proud of the fact that George W. Bush was a frat boy and did things that, oh, wait, EVERY NORMAL COLLEGE GUY DOES. But that was a long time ago, and, then again, it's not really my responsibility or my business to feel embarrassed/proud of it anyway. It doesn't have an impact on the job W has done, or on my respect for him.

In fact, I think he has done an admirable job, he's followed through and protected the US, even when he's being spit on by his own country and most of the world. Frankly, I think he's doing what is necessary to keep our country safe. I don't know everything that's going down--I trust my leader to keep his country's best interests at heart. It's sad that all people see are rising gas prices.

No one enjoys war. I don't really get it when people imply that the Right WANTS this war oh-so-bad. Who wants war? It's not about wanting war, it's about the necessity of war, or, even removing the world 'war' from the equation, the necessity of protecting one's country, one's people, and the ideals held by them. (My mom brought up an interesting thought the other day: What would've happened after 9/11 if Gore had been President? Eep.)

Okay, enough about W, and a little more about the candidates at hand.

John McCain wasn't my first, second, or third choice as far as the Republican candidacy is concerned, but with his military background and overall experience, he's a valid choice considering our country's current occupation of the Middle East. He's not as conservative as I would like, but, unfortunately, I'm not so much voting FOR McCain as I am voting AGAINST his opponent.

Barack Obama has proven himself to be well-spoken, smooth, and charismatic, and has gathered himself quite a following. His campaign focuses almost wholly on 'Change'--assumedly, that indicates going as far in the opposite direction as possible from the last eight years. For the majority, dissatisfied with the Bush terms, those were the magic words, and his supporters have delicately avoided his church group affiliations and his complete lack of experience. (Think on this: Obama has been a senator for about 150 days--subtract the number of days he's been campaigning, and you're left with his collective, active senatorial experience. Scary.)

To beat the dead horse for a moment, Obama's church group (which he has since "renounced", surprise, surprise) is one that is "commit[ed] to embracement of the Black Value System" and "Pledg[ing] allegiance to all Black leadership who espouse and embrace the Black Value System". (This is taken from the [now edited] 'About Us' page for Trinity Church. The removed section is here: ) I can't imagine anyone endorsing a white candidate who was "commited to the embracement of the White agenda", can you? Not even including Rev. Jeremiah Wright's inflammatory anti-American remarks.

Granted, Obama has since publicly disengaged himself from Trinity. But, I find it hard to believe that after twenty years of attendance, contribution--and not to mention the mentorship of Wright to Obama--Obama has no stock in Trinity's message at all. But, that's all been glossed over. It makes me terribly uncomfortable that America has chosen to nominate someone as inexperienced as Obama, just to escape "The Bush Legacy".

Up until very recently, Obama had said barely a thing about his own personal platforms. Sure, he said "Change" a lot, and quite eloquently, and drew thousands to himself.

American voters, lucky for American politicians, tend to be idiots.

Don't get me wrong--this isn't across the board, and surely Americans had and have the capacity to elect brilliant and capable men. Unfortunately for this election, one man is quite a bit more brilliant (in the diamond sense--both men are clearly intelligent), and the other is quite a bit more capable. But, as Americans always do, we choose popularity over practicality.

I'm not thrilled at the tactic McCain's camp has employed in his latest ad. The ad is, admittedly, somewhat sensational, and almost in bad taste. It compares Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in terms of celebrity. But, beneath the sensational surface, I think there's another point to be raised. Obama, perhaps, is similarly capable of the Presidency as Britney is capable of singing well/being a mom/keeping her cooch covered, or as Paris is to doing anything intelligent.

Okay, that's harsh, but Obama's lack of experience, paired with the hero worship he's recieved since clinching the ballot nomination, has made me seriously uneasy. Not to mention his obvious ambition for this Presidency--less then one hundred days as a senator before beginning his run for office. Sheesh. I've also heard people describe him as some sort of deliverer. Yes, as in Messiah-like.

*Shudder.*

It just gives me Revelation-type shivers. Geesh.

Okay, that's enough playing-pundit from me today!

Not much new--I have about ten days free from Lauren and KJ, as they will be at the Jersey Shore.

I had dinner with my mom's parents the other night, and they want to help me get to Florence, which is great. I also found out that my ex-stepgrandmother's third (current) husband (got that?) was best friends with my grandfather (her second husband)! Obviously there was an upset once Susie and Peter got married--actually, my grandfather punched Peter out--but I thought it was fascinating! I always thought they were strangers to each other!

My dad also told me today that his mother wrote a letter before her death, detailing each child's disposition, from her point of view. Dad has a copy somewhere, and he's going to find it for me. I can't wait. I've always been so curious about her--she died when my dad was 10 or so.

Okay, Tribond time!

See you guys soon!!!!!

Love you!

-Alyssa

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Talk, talk, talk.

Lacie came by and apologized sincerely for all of her disappearing.

I forgive her, but I'm still hesitant to be friends with her.

That's about it. I'm doing better--I'm over my freakout. :P

Still counting down to when you guys are with me again!

Can't wait! :DDDD

Love, Alyssa

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Time is going so fast, and SO SLOW.

So fast because there's a month left before we all split up again--we have less than three weeks together before school--and slow because you guys aren't home yet!

We have to stretch the time we have together out as far as we can. I don't care if I sleep in that time, I just want to spend time with all of you.

Lacie and Brian broke up, and I'm semi-avoiding Lacie right now. She apparently took it well, but I just want this to be over. That's another reason time is going so slowly. I can't get away from this situation quickly enough.

It's like, I can't even pinpoint why I'm mad. I'm furious with her, but why? I can't articulate it. I'm mad because she's crazy. That sounds ridiculous! I'm mad because she doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut. I'm mad because she wants everyone to tell her what to do and how to get better, but she wants to do it on her own terms. She wants help and she doesn't. A great deal of her revels in her Crazy. I'm mad because she's selfish, but she pretends she's not. I'm mad because she disappears. I'm mad because she's so damn put-upon. I'm mad because she thinks she's Cinderella. I'm mad because, as well as she's doing physically, she's so far gone mentally, I can't even know what will happen when she moves in with Rachel. I'm mad because she's going to live with Rachel. I'm mad that she won't listen to me, but is constantly after my counsel. I'm mad because she doesn't REALLY want to hear my thoughts, she just wants me to agree with her when she says Abby Maurice is going to steal Brian or whatever bullshit she's come up with. I'm mad because I think she's lying to me.

I'm also mad at myself because I think she's lying. I feel terrible because no one would/should lie about what I think she is lying about.

I'm also mad that I've been alone all summer. I'm not mad at any of you--I love you, and we all have lives, naturally. But I've been so unbelievably lonely and stressed out. I'm constantly on the verge of tears. This is the third time I've cried today (Although I could attribute this to my period). Last night I hung out with Brian and three of "Lauren's Friends", sans-Lauren, and it was the most fun I've had since you guys left. I ESCAPE to work. I only feel calm in my house when I'm alone in it.

I don't feel like I'm being taken care of by the people that are available to me. I'm not being taken care of by my friends or my family. I'm being taken care of by my co-workers, and my sister's friends, and my friend's now ex-boyfriend.

I'm so sad, and I don't know how not to be right now, and that's so scary to me. You guys know I'm not a sad person. You guys know me better than anyone right now. I just want to be with you, and be away from all of this Crazy. My mom's Crazy, my sister's Crazy, Lacie's Crazy, lonely Crazy. Even my own Crazy. I feel like I'm going crazy on my own here. Thank God we live in modern civilization with phones and blogs so I can keep myself anchored to you all, but MAN, has this been challenging.

You know, this was going to be an excited blog? I am so excited about you guys coming home, and look what it deteriorated into! Some dramatic blogging by yours truly. :P

I hate to be this heavy. You guys know how much I love to be upbeat and everything. And I am okay--I will be fine! Promise! Hurry back! :D

Love,
Alyssa

Friday, July 25, 2008

I have a weird habit...

Of getting REALLY emotionally involved in makeover shows like MADE.

Especially when it's like, a geeks-to-glam-type episode. I like seeing the nerd get the guy. :D

I don't know, I just get excited for people coming out of their shells!

Mostly because I am a wuss. :)

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Ink is here!

Okay, you lucky, lucky dogs.

My movie, Ink, has arrived in the mail today! And when you all get around to joining me in Sewickley (in a matter of days--hooray!!!), we can watch it. JUST US. No Lacie, no defensive parents or siblings (on my end, your siblings/parents may watch as they like), no crazy. Crazy is not allowed. Except for crazy laughter at the way I am fetishized in this film.

Getting the package was sort of magical, actually. I had forgotten that I was expecting it, I was brushing my teeth to go to bed (5:45 AM shift tomorrow), and I walked downstairs to get something, then changed my mind, and right before I was about to turn around, I saw the white square of bubble envelope, apart form all of the other mail, and I saw my name, and the return address of my producer, and I got all warm and excited (but not "sexually anxious", of course), and I rushed up to my room, and cut open the envelope, and just glowed with that feeling. That feeling of contentment. It's nice to see something come out.

I'm torn between watching it now or waiting. On one hand, I have an early shift--on the other, it is awesome.

Hmm...I'll see if mom gives a crap, then I'll decide.

Oh, and Chico's was fine. Learning a new system is always a little scary for me. I pressure myself to get things right immediately, and it's just not a good thing. I think it'll be a fun job, though. :)

Love you all,

Alyssa

And the crazy re-emerges...

Lacie is in my kitchen preparing a bake sale.

Yes, a bake sale.

WHAT THE EFF.

What goes on in her mind?! It's like she thinks she's a Disney Princess or something, and all the bunnies and squirrels will help her get out of this rut that nature has dealt her (and not herself, of course). She thinks she's freaking put-upon Cinderella.

I start Chico's today--I'll update later and tell you how it goes.

Muah,

Alyssa

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Home again, home again...(jiggedy jig).

I'm back in Sewickley again! I was just away for a few days moving out of my apartment (yay!!!!!) and into my NEW one. It is very nice and very big, and sunlight comes through the windows...which open! It is awesome. I have the smallest bedroom, which is still two and a half times the size of my old one. Unfortunately, like NO sunlight gets into that room. It is the ONLY room that barely gets natural light.

Ah well, I guess a lot of time will be spent in my living room! That actually serves as a living room and not a combo living/dining space!

You guys are all invited to hang the hell out with Baltimore with me at my cool apartment. :)

I've been researching Art Conservation as a grad school option for myself--I've always found it fascinating--and guess what? Almost every single program I looked at recommended/required a trip to Florence. Ironic, hm?

I'm trying to decide if it's even plausible to try and make Florence an option. I mean, even if I worked hard to get more money, it would kill me if, even after all the hard work was done, I still couldn't do it. And I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but it's still a very likely possibility that it wouldn't play out.

But, it seems pretty coincidental.

Well, it does.

Yes, I'm lame. :P

Anyway, I also got to visit my godparents over the weekend, which was really great. As soon as I got home, though, within an hour I wanted to peace out.

I left on Sunday. On Friday night, Lacie and I had gone to Brian's house and ended up leaving when his sister showed up in a funk, so Brian went to talk to her, so Lacie and I left in an attempt to let them talk things out in private. On our way back, Lacie ended up turning around, so I told her I'd see her in a few hours, and she said she would only be a few minutes.

The next time I saw her was, mmm, TODAY.

I basically told her that she can't disappear for three days without calling THE HOUSE WHERE SHE LIVES. It's not that big of a deal, I guess, but it was frustrating at the outset. And Lauren was being whiny, etc.

I'm fine now. :)

ANYWAY, I can't wait until you girls are home! Two more weeks!

Muah,

Alyssa