Panic.

I just had a fist of panic clench my heart. It's what happens every time I think about money and rent and school.

I still haven't paid my remaining installment for the Spring '08 semester (although I expect my mom is in the midst of taking care of that), and I only have about six hundred dollars saved so far this summer. It's already July seventh. I haven't been working nearly as hard as I should be. Last summer I had two jobs and made upwards of three thousand dollars and I STILL didn't cover a year of rent.

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

WHEW. Exhale. I've got to take this as it comes. I let myself get overwhelmed. Dammit.

Dear God, help me to have the work ethic and the opportunity to take care of these finances for MICA and rent (especially rent), and if, for some reason, that's not your will, give me the strength to accept that I may have to face a serious struggle, even if it may not be what I want to do (obviously).

God, I wish you guys (Drea, Em, Bri, Abby) were here. (You should probably know that at this point 'you guys' means you four.)